My Confession: My Struggles with Jealousy and Being Insecure In Gods Love

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Jesus began, “You have said it well, My Love. And thank you for including the struggle you have with jealousy. 

 “My dear ones, nothing will kill a church or particular body of believers as fast as jealousy. It is one of the most deadly sins, because it destroys unity and creates serious moral lapses for the sake of retaliation and competition. So many who are in the music ministry have a gift, but their hearts are far from Me. Rather, they are seeking the world’s accolades.
(still small voice http://www.heardwellers.org)

I want to be very candid and transparent in this post concerning my hidden struggles that I have had with Jealously and Insecurities in my walk with the Lord. The newest message from the Lord was posted today on Still Small Voice which is a ministry that I am apart of. Within the message Ms. Clare was very honest concerning her struggles with Jealousy as she was seeing others grow in their anointing and holiness. As I was reading all I could do was laugh because the very same things she struggles with  I do too! That is what I love about her and the ministry is that not only is she anointed but, so very open about her weakness and in-capabilities. Which immediately prompted me to do this blog to confess mine as well because some may see me writing blogs, having my YouTube channel, doing fb live prayers every week, posting words of encouragement,  and always speaking about intimacy with Jesus but, not knowing my very real weakness. Which should encourage anyone that the Lord loves to use hot messes which I am one of them lol

This past week in my alone time with the Lord he kept giving me scriptures on “Jealously” 4 days in a row.  through my bible promises book which I use for discernment  as I began to really examine my heart thinking Lord where , Lord where? At first my eyes would fall on the scripture about how God is a jealous God, so I began to think I wasnt being faithful to the Lord because there couldn’t be jealousy in my heart. (  of course not right ..oh boy lol) .You know when we try to get out of a conviction the Holy Spirit is calling out lol). After, the third day day, I was then like okay Lord you are addressing something. So Upon receiving this message he hit the nail right on the head.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4)

You see this past few weeks the Lord has really been showing many hidden sins in my heart that offend him as he is calling me to holiness and pureness of heart. He has began to show me that I was insecure in my love with the him. Why was I still desiring others approval or love from others and when I didn’t get I felt rejected. You would think after spending hours in prayer and worship with the Lord every morning I would come out feeling so secure about who I was in him but,  as he has made me aware “I was seeking him but, didn’t trust him”. So then a situation would occur  during the day and I would be hit with arrows of rejection because of the response I would get from others. Then a friend candidly said to me “Nana you do all these videos on youtube, you talk about intimacy with Jesus but, your not deeply rooted and ground in Gods love  that’s why you still struggle with wanting love from others.” I thought to myself wow isn’t that so true. Especially when dealing with relationship of any form we tend too look for the people in our lives to provide that love for us and they never fully fulfill that role only Jesus can. However, I was still insecure in my relationship with Jesus which affected everything else. I needed to be deeply rooted and grounded in his love for me that I could be made whole.

  • I realize when I was insecure about Gods love for me I looked for those around me to provide that security of love
  • Being  insecure about Gods love for me I began to look to others for validation
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to question the sincerity of others love towards me
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love guarded not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love the Lord half halfheartedly and not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to fear being hurt by others
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to compare myself ultimately causing me to have Jealous thought towards others

So because of the root cause of my lack of security and trust in my identity in Christ I found myself having Jealous thoughts toward a dear friend. In the most subtle ways but, of course not to God and the saints. Our thoughts are so very loud before all of heaven lol  As someone who is called to lead others this demon of Jealousy is so terrible and easily causes deep breaches of division, and not only quench the Spirit of God in ministry but ruin your soul eek! Furthermore, the Lord has made me known that laziness and jealousy goes hand in hand. Those who have are anointed by the Lord have worked very hard so many times is our lack of application that causes us to be Jealous of others. So I am glad to be exposing it and getting the darkness out!

I found myself being territorial of a fb page I was called to run. I need help so I asked her to assist me with the page however, when she began to really take over the page and do things without asking. giving suggestion. I found Jealously rising in my heart in being territorial of something that wasnt mine in the first place but it’s the Lords ( I  mean can anyone relate). Then secondly we both decided to do prayers on fb live first together then separately. We began to do at the same time and day. As time went out I would find myself seeing her prayer video but, my eyes falling on how many views and comments she got versus me.  (I mean can anyone relate) Lastly I found myself comparing her messages from Jesus to mine. As she would share what the Lord was telling her as we are both learning to discern the Lords voice. Her messages sounded so regal and wise full of authority. However my messages sounded so simple, like my own thoughts and the devils would get me to just want to give up pressing in to hear Gods voice. ( I mean can anyone relate ). lol I mean comparison is a death trap! I found these were all the issue of my heart ;however outwardly everything seemed find. Until, the Lord began to call out all this hidden sin and offenses that were going on that no one else knew about but, him. He first had me confess it to my dear friend in which I am so grateful for our unique relationship because she was so gracious and just laughed. Wheew, I thank the Lord for his faithfulness as he continues to tell me to shine the light on the dark places in my heart that others may have the freedom to do the same thing. One thing I also felt he told me was that I am unique, I have a set of people he has anointed for me to draw to himself so it makes no sense to compare. All that do will continue to be different from anyone else because of the unique souls I am called to reach. That is the same for each of us, when we began to compare it kills Gods unique anointing  upon our lives because there are people I am called to reach with my looks, my height, with my voice, with my experiences, with  my weaknesses, failures etc that they can relation too but, not to someone else.

So I don’t know if you have dealt with this or are dealing with this especially in ministry its okay lol Its just not okay to stay there I have learned that there is so much freedom in confession sins truly. It liberates you and the other person. So if you have had this struggle with someone I encourage you to open and tell them you would be amazed they may have some of the same feelings towards you as well which gives them freedom to share their weakness. So lets embrace our uniqueness and most importantly be deeply rooted in Gods love!

My Prayer for myself and for you: Ephesians 3

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant us according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; that we, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that we may be filled with all the fullness of God and come to embrace our unique identity in him in Jesus name!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

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Great Faith Is Tried In The Waiting

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When the Lord says” READY, SET…..WAIT lol. As I saw this image for this blog post I just fell in love. It summed up perfectly for me not only what my walk has been like but learning that Great Faith is made in the “waiting”. You see for me I had prayed to the Lord often when I would watch sermons of the generals of the faith and read book on  great missionaries who had done great exploits for the Lord and cried out in my heart asking Lord make me women of Great faith”.  Then excited to get direction from him about the task that he had for me however, I would consistently get “be patient”, “wait” Hmm. At first when I began to follow Christ I was a lot more anxious to know my calling and excited that the Lord had called me to his services as I would wait for direction for the next step and get “wait”, then the second year “wait’, then the third year “wait”. The Lord would always provide small task here and there to ensure I was faithful, He would move me from my job, out of my apartment, back to my mothers house to ensure I was faithful and to humble me and grow me in charity, then the forth year still “waiting”. It hasn’t been easy sometimes waiting on the Lord is the most difficult thing to do but, our trust grows. So I began to have others around me began to question and not quite understand why I seemed too always  be”waiting on the Lord”. Some began to say, well you know “faith without works is dead”  as if to say that I must do something to help the Lord out rather than doing exactly what he said “wait”.

James 2:26
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. 

Many read this scripture out of context but, when you go back and read verse 23 Paul talks about Abraham “believing God” and it was counted to him as righteousness. It wasn’t through his faith only but, his works. So to simply believe is a “works of faith”. Its not only about action but, how well someone believes. It took work to believe what God spoke to Abraham and because he did believe it worked out his faith! So too have great faith means simply to believe greatly! Yes it is in the waiting where our Great faith is tried, tested and grown. We live in a generation who don’t know how to wait. We want everything fast, convenient and in a hurry. If there is any delay we call it “the enemy of progress” lol. We rush to to grow up, we rush to go to college, we rush to graduate, we rush to get married, we rush to have the career we want, we rush to have children, we rush to go to places, we rush to get into ministry if God calls us. We rush to clean, We rush to get things done…rush, rush, rush this little demon of rush. I tell you there are demons behind this as the Lord has revealed through still small voice ministry, a prophetic ministry I am apart of . Jesus often taught us that their are always demons that cause his people to rush. As I get this rhema often:

“The rabbit ran circles around the turtle but the turtle won the race. Gods processes are slow Don’t be in a hurry”

In our generation we have been provided with much knowledge about who God is but, many us….many have not really grown or matured in great faith. Especially in our country where we have everything accessible to us. In a book I read a while back a missionary who visited the U.S.  said Him and his brethren would gather together in a remote village to meet secretly to have bible study during their communion time the Lord would turn their water into wine every time. You see they were to poor to afford purchasing wine so they trusted and believed the Lord do a miracle and he blessed their faith. Upon finishing his message a young man came to him and said, why do you think in America we do not see miracles like that and the missionary simply said “because you guys have wine”. lol  In our country there is a tendency to get everything we need rather than relying on God to show up for what we need therefore having great faith.
We did a bible study at my small group last Friday as we went through the passages of scripture in Hebrew 11 and dissecting what is looks like to have great faith as our for fathers before us. So It was so amazing, refreshing , sobering and so convicting, To see how our faith measured up to these great heroes of faith who are now cloud of witness that cheer us on. From Hebrew 11  This is what Great Faith looks Like

  • Faith is framed by the word of God- What promises has the Lord given to you and will you cling to it however long it takes too be fulfilled?
  • Faith is invisible you can not see it but you hope in it and then you will see
  • Faith approves our righteousness and is a gift from God but can be given back to him when we believe in his word
  • Faith pleases God
  • Faith moves under a godly fear and obeys the word God gives
  • Faith will condemn and convict those around you
  • Faith will take a leap at Gods word even when it doesn’t know the full picture
  • Faith will take you into foreign places that will become your promise land
  • Faith waits on the Lords even when it seems impossible
  • Faith doesn’t entrust in itself but on the person who gave the promise, because He alone is Faithful
  • Faith can give you a child at any age despite what the Doctors say (just saying)
  • Faith is a lifestyle…its not only what you believe but how you live
  • Faith sometimes is not always seen on this side of heaven
  • Faith continues to believe the “word” will not pass away even if you pass away without seeing the promise
  • Faith is living for Eternity
  • Faith gives itself as a living sacrifice and willing to give to God whatever he ask no matter how precious it is to us
  • Faith doesn’t yield to fear
  • Faith endures affliction or suffering rather than to enjoy fleeting pleasures
  • Faith regarded disgrace for Christ sake as greater value than the treasures of the world
  • Faith looks ahead for the eternal reward
  • Faith perseveres through the most heaviest of tribulations or trials
  • Faith is obedient
  • Faith suffers much persecution to gain a better resurrection or glory with God
  • Faith looks crazy, sometimes sheepskin, weird clothing, hermit solitude lifestyle kind of crazy lol

So what are you waiting on God for? If you say you truly believe what does your life and lifestyle say do you have faith in Gods known word or even a prophetic word he has given you? Will you continue to wait when the world, family members, friends, pressure you to move ahead of Gods timing, Will you continue to wait on the Lord or will you be moved by a bad report, or circumstance, situations or even how you feel? Will you wait on the Lord as he is growing your faith? I believe the bigger the miracle, the greater the waiting, the greater the ministry, the greater the preparation, the bigger the testimony, the greater the testing in Faith. So will you wait beloved as the Lord is refining you into a GREAT MAN OR WOMAN OF FAITH!

“The greater you wait on me for marriage (or anything) the greater your reward”

-Jesus
(still small voice ministry)

-From Jesus With Love

Call of Action: As Christians We Must Wake Up and Stand In Truth!

LEFT BEHIND WARNING TO THE CHURCH 2

Jeremiah 19:4-6
For they have forsaken me and made this a place of foreign gods; they have burned incense in it to gods that neither they nor their ancestors nor the kings of Judah ever knew, and they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent. They have built the high places of Baal to burn their children in the fire as offerings to Baal—something I did not command or mention, nor did it enter my mind.So beware, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when people will no longer call this place Topheth or the Valley of Ben Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter.

My heart grieves now more than it ever did in prayer because the heart of the Father grieves for what has been going on in our nation for so many years. We as his children,  the majority of his sons and daughter have sat silently and allowed darkness to take over our nation. If I can be honest, I too was silent for so many years or you can say indifferent . I was pro-choice, I was a democrat, not at all concerned with my country, more or less  not concerned with my future and not at all  concerned with eternity. So I thought was down to a woman’s choice, who are we to take someones free will. I mean I wouldn’t do it (say’s the person who has never been pregnant) but, if other ladies wanted to “who was I” to stop them.

Call of Action for Christians:

However, that is just the point as a christian “Who are you?” Let me tell you what you are called to be. You are sent here to testify of the true light which is Christ, You are a child of God who is a sojourner on this earth with a heavenly citizenship. You are called too live for things above and not things of the earth. You are called too be in this world but, not of this world. You are called too pray for those in authority and leaders in our government. You are called too make disciples of Jesus Christ teaching them how to obey his statues. You are called too be examples, imitators of Christ and living sacrifices. You are called too stand up before leaders and proclaim Gods word with boldness. You are called too be set apart Holy as are Father is Holy.  You  are called too speak whatever the Lord puts in your mouth and not be afraid of rejection. You are called too serve only One God, the true living God and have no other idols before him. You are called too to save others by snatching them out of the fire. You are called too subdue the earth and advance the Kingdom of God upon the earth. You are called too take back territory from the kingdom of darkness that whatsoever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatsoever you  lose on earth will be lose in heaven. You are called too prepare the way of the Lord! That is who who you are but, many, too many of us go on silently and selfishly living our lives. However, the Lord is sounding a Clarion Call today that the children of God must arise and take back this nation!! You must choose this day whom you will serve? Will you continue serving your family by not speaking out because you will be made fun or fear rejection? Will you continue to serve your Party, the Democratic Party that is so full of elite leaders who want the demise of this nation and are for murdering babies, Will you continue to serve your race  because you are a minority or African American thinking the republican party hasn’t been for “our kind” so you just cant vote for them? Will you continue to serve the world and culture that say’s its not your problem everyone has rights so stay out of peoples business? Will you continue to serve yourselves and do nothing at all, maybe not even vote because God will have his way with or without you? No, we must serve God as believers we must unite under what unites us Jesus Christ and his word. By allowing that to be our foundation and identity nothing else. We must recognize we will be held accountable for what we do and what we didn’t do when we stand before God. We will be held accountable for continuing to vote and be apart of a party that is completely against God ways. More importantly we will be held accountable for the innocent blood of babies that will be on our hands if you say nothing or do nothing.  We must wake up church and notice the signs are everyone the fig tree is due to be ripe any moment, Jesus is coming back in our generation! These babies are not just killed but, they are bodies are harvested and used for horrific things, satanic rituals etc its so heartbreaking but, very true. There is not time for us to slumber and keep our heads in the sands like ostriches trusting God will do something about it. For he already has, he sent you! Yes, you hear upon this earth to be his ambassador or righteousness so its time to fight on our knees, fight in the voting booths and stand on truth unmoved by the opposition because we are already victorious!

 

“The time for indignation is past; now is the time for action. The church has thickened on her lees, it is time for her to awaken the world and take an active roll in seeing to it that righteousness reigns in this country.

“Your president cannot do this alone. He needs every man and woman on board with his agenda. It is your prayers for the nation, your outcries, your educating those who are ignorant, your active roll in fighting this massive front of evil until it comes crashing down……And it’s not all about how you feel – it’s your commitment to doing the right thing when it’s inconvenient. Will you go out of your way for a serious discussion with one of your children who doesn’t know her right hand from her left as far as the battles of the powers of evil vs. good in this nation? Will you stand the heat when you are scorned for your perspective? How much are you willing to invest? That will determine your return.”- Jesus
(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

Call to Action for Mothers:

We have allowed just as it was in the times of old, during Jeremiahs time to have the elite and leaders of this nation continue to follow their foreign gods and sacrifice on the altar of Moloch. Nothing has changed, when you read the bible many see it as historical especially in the new testament but its the living word. We lie in the same times right now where the Altar of Moloch now looks different and has subtlety been introduced as “abortion”. Statics show that 881,0000 children are killed every year thru abortion in America (Stats on abortions) . We have surpassed Jeremiahs time and the Lord is grieving all of heaven is grieving. We must understand that God is very serious about his word so when we serve other ‘gods” and continue to shed innocent blood it calls forth his judgment. No, the Lord will never and cannot understand abortions there is no case in his eyes that will be justified when you stand before him, you know why? Because HE IS IN CONTROL the Lord allows everything in our life. He was aware of that mother who got raped and find herself pregnant, He was aware of the young girl with health issues now is with child, He was aware of the mother finding out her child will have disabilities. He is aware of every case and He is the one that gave these women their children as gifts! (Psalm 127) Only if they would come to trust him, he knows each personas circumstance yet in all of what we think is “mess” the Lord sees it fit and right for the greatest blessing not only to the world but, that mother would need, a child.  So if your a sister reading this and the Lord led you hear its to wake you up from the lies that have swarmed your mind and heart. God has given you the greatest gift that you need. He has already made provision for you and his child.  The child you are carrying has come with gifts from heaven this world needs so please don’t kill this child. You have a very real enemy who continue to put suggestions in your mind has lied to you through family, friends, even doctors because He knows in the eyes of God this is murder and not only that it breaks Gods heart.  He knows your future is filled with hope and success if you would trust God. So don’t look to the left or the right but trust him, it may not be easy but everything will be okay.

 

Jesus began, “I am so glad you mentioned the reasons people are willing to kill an unborn child. Oh, My people, what is your thinking? ‘I shouldn’t have this child now, because I can’t afford it?’ Do you know who brought that pressure to bear in your thinking? It surely wasn’t ME. I gave you the gift of that child with ALL the provision you would ever need, if you will consider raising the little one according to My plans and not the world’s.

“How foolish to think that you can’t have a child without thousands of dollars put away. Please, do not think as the World thinks. Rather, trust Me. That I will provide. Because I will! And trust that I know what I am doing when I choose the time for the child to be born.

“There is no greater gift or grace in your life, other than salvation of your soul and your husband or wife, than the gift of a child. Children do not need adults to raise them. As a matter of fact, most of you only become adults after you have a child. So, it is My provision to accelerate you into a new level of life that brings with it Godly maturity.
-Jesus

(still small voice ministry: Prophetic message Apology for Neglecting You & Why never Abortion)

Call to Action to Our Leaders:

Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others.
Leaders of this nation are in their offices because God has planted them there. He is so wise that he even uses those who are against him for his glory. Many times just like what the children of Israel, when the people no longer wanted Gods judgments or statues to be their guiding light he gives them over to exactly what they wanted. Which never ends well and that is what he has done to America. A nation that was once for God,  began to remove God thru many former presidents and leader. Removing his decrees, his statues, and even his name out of many influential places in our nation. So once we have God out the devil then has a way in. However, the Lord has raised up his servant a prayerful president who is being transformed by the Holy Spirit to lead this nation back to righteousness. The Leaders who are against Donald Trump are not against just a mere man alone but they contend with God. We know that if God is before us who can be against us! The evil and wickedness in the heart of these man and leaders will not prevail against the King of Kings and the Lord of  Host mighty in battle. The Lord is looking for leaders who will stand in righteousness, leaders who may not like Donald Trump but, believe in where he is taking this nation. He will remove those leaders who continue to fight against him. Leaders who continue to show themselves as upright in the eyes of man but, do the most wicked heinous things in the dark. All that is hidden will be brought to the light by God in due time. For this nation is the Lords, and before the foundation of the earth he had it in mind to raise this nation up in the endtimes to be a beacon of light to all the other surrounding nations.  What God said he will do and nothing can stop his decree especially when his people are praying! As a leader will you stand with God? Will you stand to make America great again? or will you continue wander blindly with a stiff neck and an obtuse mind? Please pick wisely your nation and eternity depends on it.

“For far too long people have turned a deaf ear to the complaints of those who are grieved by the corruption of this nation. Now is the time to flush the corruption from the soil of this nation so that she may arise in newness of life. This process is always painful; purification is never easy. Decay and death have been the basis for the majority of this nation’s politicians. Maintaining the status quo, passing over the real moral issues and straining on gnats. The time for that is over. I, myself, will see to it that evil is flushed from this government and its deceptive arm, the media.
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

Facts of Truth

To be honest the Lord keeps me away fro the news and rightfully so. There is so much rancor, division, slander and so much more that enters the heart of his children when we listen to news or seek after things he didn’t lead us too. But what I am about to reveals is not a conspiracy, its not something out a sci-fi film but is the devastation and disgusted truth of wickedness in our nation and the darkness that surrounds many souls. It was all the Lord’s doing to expose planning parenthood for what they were really doing for so many years. Taking fetus of unborn children and selling it on the black market.Aborted Fetuses Sold . The saddest part is their clients weren’t lowly, inhumane thugs that take these babies body parts. No, it is the elite in our nation, the rich, the powerful, political leaders, the wealthy business owners that are caught up in the most horrific satanic rituals in killing children, kidnapping them and torturing them. In prayer a few months ago as I was praying for these children I saw a 12 year old boy he seemed around that age, he was in some underground tunnel or cave, completely naked and scared to death. I knew he was being hunted, yes it was a human hunt for his life. Then a few days ago as the Lord commissioned us to pray for the trafficked children I felt a tingly sensation in my right hand during prayer. Then I received an impression that it was a child from the cloud of witness who had come to pray with me in the spirit. The child grabbed my hand as we began to pray all I could do was cry. So not only are they taken to be used for pleasure but,for torture. I was unaware of all these things until the Lord brought it up. Its seems so far from my mind and my world I just couldn’t believe. That humans would take little children and torture them for adrenaline and their blood just to get high. Which is what led me to do the blog as the Lord has burdened me to speak out and let truth be known as to what is really going on!. Many of these things sound like something out of a movie but, these are all satanic rituals and I have come to understand that those who follow Satan have a decree that is standard that before they do anything that must show the public. So why not in entertainment so no one will take it seriously and they continue on in this travesty. So daily.com does a fine job on explaining what is really going on with kidnapped children and trafficked children they are tortured for Adrenochrome, a chemical known since at least the 1930s. Kids tortured for Adrenochrome .So this has been going on for several years in our nation and government. I believe longer than that, torturing children to drink their blood all by the deep state and cabal (the elite) some, which are apart of the Democratic Party. This is what is going on in our nation, in our own government if we don’t take a stand for truth, a stand for righteousness and a stand for our President Donald! We must rise up and shake off the sleep that has had us under and say no more! America is the Lord’s, Our Children belong to the Lord, and our Future belongs to the Lord!! Stand with me saints, stand with me in prayer and boldly proclaim truth where it calls for it!

“My people, I am dead serious. Rise up and claim dominion over this land. Rise up or perish with it. This is no time to run after your pleasures and distractions. This has been your behavior of the past and that’s what they are counting on. But now you are informed. And you are not of this world.”

“Greater is He that dwells in you than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4

“Stand up and take dominion. You are not alone, the hosts of Heaven are marching with you. I am with you, in you and working through you. Stand. Stand up and take dominion.”
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

The Sin of Job…”Woe is Me”

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This the first time I have given myself over in Lent truly allow the Lord to do surgery upon my heart and have his way in me. As it is a time of purification as the Lord draws you nearer to produce holiness.  He mentioned it would be challenging and how it has been to say the least. As he been showing me many hidden sins within myself that have been a hindrance to what he has called me to and to holiness. He has allowed many test and trials which I seemed to fail right after the other because of the same vices. I began to get frustrated, discouraged and found myself in self pity as I was thinking but Lord I have done all you have asked, I have done this..and that and this…and holy spirit continued to give reading in Job during my time of communion. As I finally realized he was pointing out one major hidden sin which was the sin of Job, the “woe is me sin”. The sin of Self Righteousness and Self Pity.

Job 32:2-4

So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him. 

If I can be honest many times I have heard of the story of job and read the last chapter but not the entire book and I never quite understood why his friends were reprimanded by God or understood why Job was severely chastised by the Lord. It was God who told Satan that he was righteous Job 2:6-22. However, as you see in Job 31, Job goes on to tell his friends all the sin’s had not committed to be worthy of this suffering he was going thru. Which sounded just like me when the Lord would reveal another hidden sin I would go on this rant within my heart regrading all the the sins I hadn’t done because it was utterly despondent  to find myself falling into sin everyday. Until, the Holy Spirit began to show me it is my Self righteousness that causes me to go into self pity when the Lord allows more suffering or reveals sin because there is nothing I can do within myself to ever be clean before him. It is Christ righteousness that makes me clean and therefore whatever he allows I deserve because he took the worst punishment which was death. Which I never have to taste because of what Christ has done.

I was humbled to say the least and really began to see the depravity of my immense pride that still lingered now in self righteousness and contending with the Lord by going into self pity when he allowed these ever fiery trials as I deserved his consolation or relief. He has been truly teaching me what it means to be a “living sacrifice” and to be yielded in “Total Surrender” which means to be a wounded prisoner of his love. Suffering with Christ and as Job finally stated “if he slay me, yet I will praise him” (Job 13:15). I believe the Lord is looking for us all as believers to come to that place of maturity that though he slays our flesh yet we will praise him! For many of us we are not willing to suffer or even surrender in suffering because we murmur, complain, get discouraged and worse go in self pity thinking we don’t deserve what the Lord is allow which will lead us all into self righteousness.

 

However, the Lord is faith and even though he is sovereign and he has divine providence over each our lives with whatever he allows which is always right and just. He is a good good Father as he has been reminding me in this season of Lent. That although this process of purification is painful and challenging he promises to restore. Always that nothing we sacrifice or endure is without merit in due time if we don’t give up. He is faithful to restore, establish and strengthen us. Just as Job, whose later days were far more glorious, joyful, fulfilling and fruitful more than the former. So my friend lets continue to endure and say yes to Jesus to whatever he ask of us, whatever he takes from us, and whatever failures we face. We say yes to you Jesus, we thank you for your righteousness that you clothe me us with and  give us he grace to rejoice in our suffering in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Job 31

What Can I Expect from God?

31 1-4 “I made a solemn pact with myself
    never to undress a girl with my eyes.
So what can I expect from God?
    What do I deserve from God Almighty above?
Isn’t calamity reserved for the wicked?
    Isn’t disaster supposed to strike those who do wrong?
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live?
    Doesn’t he mark every step I take?

5-8 “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
    or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
    so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
    wanted things I had no right to,
    messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
    give my portion to someone who deserves it.

9-12 “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman
    and conspired to go to bed with her,
Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead
    and sleep with anyone she wants to.
For disgusting behavior like that,
    I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down;
    I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.

13-15 “Have I ever been unfair to my employees
    when they brought a complaint to me?
What, then, will I do when God confronts me?
    When God examines my books, what can I say?
Didn’t the same God who made me, make them?
    Aren’t we all made of the same stuff, equals before God?

16-18 “Have I ignored the needs of the poor,
    turned my back on the indigent,
Taken care of my own needs and fed my own face
    while they languished?
Wasn’t my home always open to them?
    Weren’t they always welcome at my table?

19-20 “Have I ever left a poor family shivering in the cold
    when they had no warm clothes?
Didn’t the poor bless me when they saw me coming,
    knowing I’d brought coats from my closet?

21-23 “If I’ve ever used my strength and influence
    to take advantage of the unfortunate,
Go ahead, break both my arms,
    cut off all my fingers!
The fear of God has kept me from these things—
    how else could I ever face him?

If Only Someone Would Give Me a Hearing!

24-28 “Did I set my heart on making big money
    or worship at the bank?
Did I boast about my wealth,
    show off because I was well-off?
Was I ever so awed by the sun’s brilliance
    and moved by the moon’s beauty
That I let myself become seduced by them
    and worshiped them on the sly?
If so, I would deserve the worst of punishments,
    for I would be betraying God himself.

29-30 “Did I ever crow over my enemy’s ruin?
    Or gloat over my rival’s bad luck?
No, I never said a word of detraction,
    never cursed them, even under my breath.

31-34 “Didn’t those who worked for me say,
    ‘He fed us well. There were always second helpings’?
And no stranger ever had to spend a night in the street;
    my doors were always open to travelers.
Did I hide my sin the way Adam did,
    or conceal my guilt behind closed doors
Because I was afraid what people would say,
    fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much
That I turned myself into a recluse?
    You know good and well that I didn’t.

35-37 “Oh, if only someone would give me a hearing!
    I’ve signed my name to my defense—let the
        Almighty One answer!
    I want to see my indictment in writing.
Anyone’s welcome to read my defense;
    I’ll write it on a poster and carry it around town.
I’m prepared to account for every move I’ve ever made—
    to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.

38-40 “If the very ground that I farm accuses me,
    if even the furrows fill with tears from my abuse,
If I’ve ever raped the earth for my own profit
    or dispossessed its rightful owners,
Then curse it with thistles instead of wheat,
    curse it with weeds instead of barley.”

The words of Job to his three friends were finished.

 

 

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

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I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

The Year of Being Tilled By The Lord..

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Job 5:8 
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

I remember Jan 1, 2018 the Lord put it on my heart to call all my siblings together because he wanted to speak to us. As all 6 of my siblings responded to the request and came I was so overjoyed. The Lord in fact did speak too each one of my siblings giving them a word for our family for the 2018 year. In our amazement he gave some the exact same vision! The Lord was calling us into deeper intimacy with him as he stated to me ” Allow me to till the soil of your heart, the rain is coming”. I had no idea what that entailed for me, for us as a family. However, 2018 has indeed been a year of being, not only pruned, broken, wounded, crushed and refined by the Lord in ways I had never experienced. I never cried as much as I have until this year as tears became the rain to heal the wounds of my heart so many times. This has been the year of tilling but I cant imagine it wont be my last. I believe every  believer who desires to truly surrender to God has to go through this process. So what is the process of tillage you ask? Let me explain

So it wasnt about a few weeks ago that I decided to look up what tilling the soil really means and what it looks like. I was completely blown away at imagery and comparison to what the Lord desires to do in our hearts and I got it! Why it was so necessary for the Lord to till my heart the way he did. Below are some frequent question that are asked on Google when one is wanting to till their souls. So I wanted to provide a spiritual picture and answer to each question. Why its necessary for the Lord also till the soil of our hearts,

  • What Does Turning the Soil Mean?

Tillage or Turn the soil. That is a directive found in countless garden book and websites. If you are unsure what the phrase means or what it entails, know that you are in for some hard work. In the end, you’ll have a soil bed that is loose, better drained and well suited for plants.

  • So What Does It Mean For The Lord To Toil The Soil of Your Heart?

This too is found in scripture when David cried out “Lord create in me a pure heart” maybe you have prayed that before that is exactly what he is doing. Preparing our hearts to be pure before him. It is indeed HARD WORK many times we wont understand the phases, trials and test at but in the end the Lord is loosing up the hardness of our hearts or areas that are hardened to his spirit. You see he must be able to get our heart better suited for the “seed” that has fallen so when the rain ” Holy Spirit” comes the word is not chocked, the gifts our chocked , the anointing isn’t chocked by pride, selfishness, jealously you name it but the seed bears fruit!

  • What Tool Do You Use To Turn The Soil?

A must-have soil-care tool with a rounded edge. Handy for scooping compost, cutting into hard ground, and digging soil out of planting holes. A squared-off blade takes cutting through sod a snap.

  • What Tool Does The Lord Use To Turn The Soil of Hearts?

The Lord always will use those closest to us as tools of sanctification. You see his desire is that we would “Love until it hurts” that’s how Jesus loved. He wants our heart transformed into his dwelling place where he can love freely and abundantly on those around us. So he will use loved ones, peers, friends to hurt us, betray us, speak against us, reject us so that we may learn to love like Christ. That selfishness and self love in our hearts has to be broken up. We are taught love , honor and respect are earned and to only give these things if you get it back. But that is not how Jesus loves, “Yet while we were still sinners he died for us (Romans 5:8)”. So many times the Lord would ask me Nana, are you wiling to die to flesh for the sake of me?  Would you forgive, let go of all offenses and continue to love them? So many times the Lord allow devastating circumstances, hard situations and times of abandonment from those I thought I needed the most to break my heart….my hard soil.

  • Why Is Loosening The Soil Important?

Air pockets that are created by the deep loosening of soil facilitate air and water penetration for plants to use. Air penetration is also important to the micro-organisms in the soil that perform all kinds of important tasks creating nutrients for the plants (as noted above with cultivation).

  • Why Is Allowing The Lord to Loosen The Soil of Your Heart Important?

Daniel 5:20 “But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit became so proud that he behaved arrogantly, he was deposed from his royal throne and his glory was taken away from him’. His desire is that we wouldn’t continue in the ways of a stubborn heart that doesn’t yield to the Lord in obedience. Behaving arrogantly which in turn will cause us too lose our glory and even our salvation if we allow it. To be used by the Lord as a vessel we need to make room in our hearts for the wind of God (hearing his voice) and the rain, which is Holy Spirit to lead us. That he would take over our hearts and in him we would move and have our being  (Acts 17:28) not in our own hearts. That is so easily moved by our emotions, past experiences, defensive, quick to be guarded and rarely willing to give. Its important so when the Holy Spirits penetrates he is able to perform all kinds of task through us and we are able to cultivate the gifts of the spirit even more. When we allow the Lord to loosen the soil it gives room for him to CREATE!…PURE HEARTS

So at this point you may be asking the Lord when will the tilling stop, when will the crushing, pruning be over Lord? When will the rain come that I may see fruit?

When Can I Plant After Tilling?

You’ll need to wait at least a few weeks before planting, but waiting a few months is better. A thorough tilling once a year typically is enough to keep your garden soil healthy, so pick the time that works best for your gardening schedule.

  • When Will The Season of Tilling Be Over?

Well that one is always up too the Lord. I too kept asking Lord when and began to think as many of us do because the year is changing things will be different tomorrow. However the Lord is outside of time and I have come to find out the seasons of earth don’t run the same as the seasons of heaven. In this question, I have come to find my peace and rest in the Lord. When I stopped complaining, being anxious, wallowing in self pity of being stripped, tried and tested. I now look back and see how very good it was for me and more so how close its drawn too Jesus. I have come to know him in the most intimate way. I now understand the cross with such a love and passion recognizing he calls me to walk in the way of the cross. All the tilling is so that my heart may be healthy and even as painful as it has been its been so rewarding. I also see that soil is used ground that is used the season comes when it has too be tilled again for new seeds to bare new fruit so this wont be my last time.  “Jesus I trust you and welcome you to till the soil of my heart always that I may be ready to not only receive your rain but a dispenser for others to be refreshed and eat of the fruit you produce in me!”

Will you allow him to till the soil of your heart….the rain indeed is coming?

-From Jesus with Love

 

Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

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1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too Be “Cooky” or “Cookie Cutter” …Following Jesus

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“I write straight with crooked lines, and each and every person is an individual. Different. Unique from all others. And therefore, there is no canned assignment. I don’t make cookie-cutter Christians—not at all! Each one of you are SO unique, and the missions I give are to fulfill their deepest needs and desires.

-Jesus (Rapture Update-still small voice youtube channel)

I lead a bible study group on Fridays and in a conversation my co -leader he plainly said “Nana lets be honest your walk with the Lord is a little cooky…your not a Cookie cutter christian” All I could do was laugh hysterically. Of course I am not a cookie cutter christian we were never intended to be and so when you find one believer on fire for the Lord completely sold out to live for him you get the terms “cooky”, “weird”, “too extreme” or the most popular “Jesus freak” which I welcome now with humility lol.

This has indeed been a difficult….. well to be honest walking with Jesus has been difficult but so rewarding. Just as he says “narrow and difficult is the way that leads to lift.. He calls us to pick up our cross and follow him. Which means to stray away from conformity and uniformity of even the “christian culture” which at times can be very difficult and painful.

I have found that in this generation so many times we have made “man” the standard of what a christian walk is suppose to be like rather than Jesus being the standard. May strive to be “the next” Smith Wigglesworth, Billy Graham, Joyce Meyer just to name a few rather than just being “YOU” so uniquely made and fashioned by God for a glorious purpose.  We have even coined the term “church culture” which comes with the impression that there is a certain ideology or look that others have to conform too and if they don’t. They just don’t quite fit in and many fear stepping out from the norm out of fear of ridicule, rejection and the scoffing that comes along with following a road less traveled…by Christians.  Now lets take a look at many leaders the Lord used that definitely would be considered “cooky” in our day lol

  • John the Baptist
    -This man lived in the dessert (which means he was isolated)
    -Ate only bugs (locust) and honey
    – Day and night he cried out before “religious people” which would be the church in our day to REPENT THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND
    This is the same man the Lord called a prophet and said there would be no one greater than him! Wow!  Now he definitely didn’t conform to the religious people of his day

 

  • #1 is Jesus the Son of God
    – He was the messiah and savior of the whole world. The God of all creation but counted himself not equal with God and laid down his divinity which meant
    -He was born in  manager  around stinking animals not in a place with midwifes waiting on him
    -His appearance was so plain that he was overlooked all the time not having the latest fashion of his time, or having status
    – He had no place to lay his head having no home to call his home. When he easily could have established himself well. Materialistically, He forsook all those things to store his riches in heaven
    -He was rejected and killed by he religious people because he didn’t fit “the cookie cutter messiah”…they missed God

So even in these two examples above could be as Christians sometimes “we miss God”. When we limit him, put him in a box, limit what he can do and how he can do it to only what others have done before. Or better yet expect the Holy Spirit to move and direct in the same way all the time. Oh, how we have it wrong and how we can miss God and miss what he is doing in certain souls.  Were not meant to know or understand Gods ways with each person even though we try to figure it out. He indeed writes straight with crooked lines.  As Christians we were NEVER called to be cookie cutter but because of culture and the desire to be relevant  many have just followed….man which has quenched the Holy Spirit. However, he is always looking for those souls who will say yes to him. Yes to Jesus, yes to the cross,  yes to the crushing, yes to be detached from self, yes to being a laid down lover. Who surrenders fully to the Hand of God and in blind obedience abandons themselves to Gods providence, whatever that may look like so that he would get the glory. Looking ONLY to Jesus not their christian peers as to what is right and normal in the eyes of God. So will you break free from the culture, from the relevancy, from the conformity and say yes to being “COOKY” for Jesus..  Deny yourself, Pick up your Cross and Follow Him!

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus Says ” Get Ready For The Journey”

Image result for dirty  wedding dress

This is a prophetic messages from Heartdwellers.org given too Ms. Clare Dubois however the Lord gave this message as a rhema this morning and had me really examining my heart. Seeking the Holy Spirit for hidden sins in my heart and areas where I haven’t repented. The Lord has told us that the rapture is pending and he is coming for a bride who is spotless and without blemish. Its not just good enough that we have salvation  but he is coming for a bride with a pure heart. We cannot be perfect but he is looking for “perfect repentance”. A bride who is desiring to be  holy as her bridegroom is holy. Here is the message below:

The Lord Jesus is preparing us Heartdwellers. He’s on His
way and wants His Bride ready.

Jesus began “Getting ready. Getting ready to meet Me. Preparing their hearts before My mirror and asking forgiveness for what they see that is not right. “All these years My people have gone one of two ways: being constantly guilty or constantly OK – like, ‘nothing wrong here.’ But now I am asking for a deeper look. A more candid look, not glossing anything over. It is incomprehensible to you, My children, the demands of personal holiness. Because of My mercy, much is overlooked. But rather than be shocked, as that young boy Nathan was when he stood before his audience and his sins were revealed. I want you to spend time with My Holy Spirit and ask Him to reveal the darkness still inside of you.

“When you discover it, I don’t want you going over the deep end. I already knew it was there. All I want for you to do is confess it, ask forgiveness and make a resolution in your heart to avoid those sins and pray for the grace not to repeat them. You see, though you fall and are not perfect, because you confess and work on it I will forgive you and continue to pour out the graces you need to finally overcome your faults. You do not have to be perfect but you do need to be perfectly repentant

 

“The heart of this exercise is preparation and readiness to face Me. So much will be forgiven and removed on the way up to Heaven, but I do insist that you forgive everyone that ever offended you. I don’t want this experience marred by unforgiveness.

“What may help you in that area is that whoever was a challenge and injured you, had My permission. I am not the author of evil, but I did allow it as a challenge in loving others and dying to yourself. So, ultimately you can only blame Me for allowing it. Therefore be sure that you forgive the person, that you forgive yourself, and that you forgive Me. Cover all three bases. Ask Me to remove the root of bitterness you allowed to grow in your heart and defile it. There most certainly is a root of bitterness in every one of you. It is your job, with My Holy Spirit to identify it, renounce it and pray I will remove it.

“This exercise should not take you long, and it will not hinder your going into eternity. There are many of you that could be detained for unforgiveness. If you have bitterness in your heart, it is the ugliest of stains and will show right on the front of your wedding gown. So, be sure to rid yourself of that. Disarm it. By that I mean, refuse to allow it to pull you into a fury. Renounce this anger and unforgiveness in My Name, and refuse to connect with it. If you are faithful to make an honest effort, I will surely be faithful to totally remove it.

Selfishness is another flaw that you should repent of. Look for those times when you could have done something for another but didn’t bother. Either because you didn’t want to or you didn’t feel up to it. Do you know that many times I heal a malady because you went out of yourself to give, even when you were sick? There is a dynamic here.

 

“Satan knows ahead of time, sometimes, that a test is coming, or that you will rub shoulders with someone really in need. So he sends demons to push all your buttons, get you upset and distracted so you miss the good deed you should have done. This is oh, so common. When you see a multitude of things pushing your buttons, be on the look out for the ‘why’ of all those distractions. Is there someone coming to you for help, is there a meeting planned, is there an occasion of some sort?”

I would just like to say something here. Before ministry appointments? Oh, my goodness. We get barrages of provocative situations to wear us out before our appointment. This is so typical. I remember all the way back, I can remember these occasions all the way back 25 years ago, where the enemy tried to get us upset before an appointment.

Jesus continued, “Understand that the demons also have limited energy, so they pick their opportunities to trouble you according to the importance of what is coming up in your life. If it is very important and they know about it ahead of time (which they mostly do because they alert one another that such and such is going to happen or so and so is on the way) they quickly put 2 and 2 together, seeing that there is an occasion of virtue and helping another soul in need. They try to distract you or get you to cancel the meeting. Or they wear you out so you have nothing left for that person I’m sending you. Who, by the way, was very important to Me

 

Another thing to be aware of in selfishness is the self-important attitude, ‘I’m to busy for the likes of you.’ The ‘you aren’t important enough to me to stop what I’m doing.’ attitude. This is abhorrent to Me. Now we are getting into PRIDE, which is truly at the root of all evil. Selfishness will lead to Pride and selfrighteousness. Look for those times when your conscience twinged and you ignored it. Those are very good indicators of hidden sin.

“My Beautiful Bride, I am not saying these things to make you feel badly. I am saying them so you will stand clean before me. Sin is dirty. Unconfessed sin continues to be dirty. But sin confessed and forgiven exists no longer, it has been cancelled out. I want all My Brides to have their sins cancelled out.

Self-will, selfish ambition and jealousy that cause you to follow your own path rather than Mine, are also important to confess. If you are not sure, better safe than sorry. Better knowing that you recognized it than hiding it and having Me bring it up. Oh, so much better.

Here is a list for you to use in checking your behavior: Fear, Pride, Jealousy, Judgment, Anger, Laziness, Greed (acquisition), Gluttony, and Lust.

“Pay particular attention to those things that you do habitually when you know in your spirit you should be doing otherwise. They are an indication of disorder in your life and idolatry, because you put them before Me. These are indeed wrinkles in your dress.

“As I said before, this is not to discourage or reprimand you. It is to prepare you to meet Me without spot, wrinkle or blemish.

“A spot is something you allow to defile you, something you watch you shouldn’t have watched, something you said you shouldn’t have said, a feeling you engaged that you should have rejected.

“A blemish is an indication of inner contamination of the spirit. It comes up because something isn’t right inside. It could be an attitude that contaminates everything you do, like selfishness, fear, retaliation.

“A wrinkle is formed by a long-standing habit of sinful or disordered behavior. Having to work on Sunday, because you are in debt over your head, is the symptom of a wrinkle. The avarice caused you to want and to buy, then to pay it off you must deny Me the time I ask you to set aside every week for rest and rejuvenation with Me.

“Some of you are forced to work on Sunday or the Sabbath because that is the only work you could get. I am not legalistically condemning you for this. Did I not pick grains on the Sabbath? Did I not heal on the Sabbath? There is an attitude of heart that is so greedy that every spare moment is used to procure what is wanted.

” Wow…do I know about that…

“There is another attitude of heart that sets aside another day for Me when the appointed days are taken up out of necessity

“I wish for you not to get into arguments about which day of the week is holy. I will not instruct you on this, because it leads to a religious spirit. I want your heart, not your lip service and obedience to the law. Yes, I can hear the stones flying through the air now. This attitude of heart is deadly to a personal relationship with Me. You will note, it was the scribes and pharisees that refused their hearts to Me, because I did not support their Sabbath rules in a way suitable to them.

“Do you know what one of their main concerns was with Me? I threatened their income from the sale of sacrifices and coin changing. Yes, they garnered quite a nice income on all that went on in the temple

precincts and their greatest threat was that they no longer would have an income from these illicit activities. That is a wrinkle. The habit of having more and better caused them to twist their consciences in order to provide for their excesses.

“Some of you, especially the young ones, will over-react in fear to this. Please, My precious dear ones, this is not condemnation of you. It is to make you aware of the righteousness of God and how very deep it goes. Most of you do not have properly formed consciences. You were not raised on the Word in a holy household. So I must take you back to those roots and reveal to you how some of the things you were never taught are important.

“But I am not a legalistic God. I am full of mercy, understanding and forgiveness. I want your heart. I want you to love Me, to trust Me, to come to Me and speak with Me about your weaknesses, your sin and insecurities and fears. I want to help you overcome these things.

“If you have something you cannot change and you fear it is displeasing to Me, talk to Me about it. I will help you.It may not even be wrong-doing on your part. It may very well be from the father of lies, who is continually trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

“Yes! Condemnation is his favorite tool. Why, you ask? Because if he can convince you that you are bad and worthless, and that I am a severe judge, you will avoid Me and never come into My arms and trust Me.

“So, do not over-react to this message. Rather take it as a checklist. You are going on a journey, you need to get your things together. Work on your list and I will help you with each thing you are afraid to face. Use your Bible Promises to verify whether something is right or wrong. Watch for things in your environment, a sign from Me: a bird singing, a heart shape in your food or a leaf on the ground. A love song in the store, a sweet wash of contentment suddenly flooding over your soul. These are ways I encourage you and show you that I am not only with you but I approve of you and all your efforts are indeed pleasing to Me.

“So, what I am telling you, in a nutshell, is simply prepare yourself in repentance to meet Me. Just as you would wash and shower before a big event, wash yourself in My love and forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to confess anything. Remember, I was there when it happened and I will forgive what you confess. Let’s do this together.

“I am all for you, I will sustain you in your weakness, I will not abandon you. I love you deeply, do not be afraid.”