Heroic Humility

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2 Samuel 16:5-13

As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”

10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.

What is Heroic Humility?  I am finding that out in this season which has been riddled with much criticism and assaults, I can either take offense or see it as an opportunity that the Lord is using to humble me. However, I am learning from a little saint called St. Therese of Lisieux how to go about that.  Heroic Humility is the desire to be humiliated and to receive all insults, criticism, curses and judgments with JOY knowing that it is the Lord permitting it! Now, can I say that has been a feat lol. During my prayer time I sought the Lord to get a daily word from him last week and twice the Holy Spirit gave me “heroic humility’ in her devotional as its stated

HEROIC HUMILITY (devotional)

“The novices [too whom she gave spiritual direction] praise me. It is not flattery. They believe what they say. It does not make me vain for the knowledge of my wretchedness never leaves me. But sometimes my soul sickens of too sweet a diet. It is then that Jesus gives me a nice little salad dressing of vinegar and spice sans Olive oil. God raises the veil which hides may imperfections, and my dear little sisters then no longer find me quite  their liking. With a simplicity I find charming, they tell me what a trial I am to them and what they find unpleasant about me. They stand on no ceremony, for they know that their freedom of speak delights me. It is actually more than delight. It is like a wonderful festival which overwhelms me with joy. If had not experienced it, could not believe that something so against one natural feelings could afford such happiness. Once when I was passionately longing to be humiliated, a young postulate did it so effectively that I remember when Shimei used David and I read the words of the holy king; “Yea, it is the Lord who hath bidden him say all these things”

-St Therese of Lisieux

Since, moving here to this prayer community the Lord has a lot many insults to be hurdled my way wether it be online, through family members or even members of this community. We are all definitely not perfect and are learning the way of perfection through brotherly love as we are climbing that mountain of holiness. Many we times we can step on each others toes but its all about our response to one another. In the world we are taught to defend ourselves, to respond back with sharp words and to let others know when they offend us but when the Lord is leading you into a way of “heroic humility” his desire that you “submit to everyone and allow others to trample on you” that is true humility. Just as Jesus was the perfect example for us all who turned the other cheek, and led like a sheep to the slaughter with defamation of character, physical blows, insults, betrayals, curses, being spit on, was cheated, accused, and gossiped about. You name it he endured it all in perfect silence and yielded to the Fathers will.

We live in a christian culture that actually contradicts this way of the Gospel many times where we are taught to distance ourselves from those who hurt us but pray for them. Rather Jesus has chastised me to ” Not take offense or repeat offense”. He has made me to understand that when I take an offense against my brethren I am indeed offended by him for he permits every trial, every circumstance and every word someone speaks or does against me. We forget and really don’t have confidence in the Lords divine providence. That he is is in control of EVERYTHING and allows EVERYTHING even the bad. So its a grave offense in his eyes when we  get offended at one another and worse repeat it thereby spreading seeds of discord among brethren because the person you share that offense with now has a seed of criticism planted in their heart against the person who offended you. Its opens the demonic door for everyone and leads to much gossip, resentment and eventually bitterness taking root in the heart of everyone.

 

The Lord is calling us to humble ourselves to see ourselves in his mirror for who we truly are. Wretched sinners, full of judgment and evil thoughts ourselves which we may not say out loud but in our hearts, who are in need of his desperate grace and mercy. Pride(Self-love, the flesh) is what causes us to rise up to defend, to correct, to get angry and take offense which will always contend with the virtue the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us Humility.  I believe the Lord is wanting to raise up many of his brides to walk in heroic humility. Brides who don’t desire the praise of men but are actually looking forward to the insults and criticism of others with joy because  BLESSED ARE YOU!

Matthew 5:11-12
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Furthermore, how blessed are you if people insult you justly or so all manner of things against you that may be right but in humility you receive it all in silence from the hand of of the Lord as King David did. Oh Lord, give us the grace to have heroic humility, to allow ourselves to be made fools for Christ and to even desire to be humbled by you when life gets too sweet and many are singing the praises of our name. Give us the desire to be humbled and even a greater grace to not take offense or repeat offense. We ask this in Jesus name we pray Amen!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

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Jesus Is Calling To His Brides “Will You Stay With Me”?

Jesus reaching out

Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’

Many of us don’t realize the Lord still suffers tremendously because of indifference, lost souls, suffering souls and his unfaithful brides. Yes, God still suffers because there is suffering in the world however he looks for his brides for comfort on the cross but many times finds himself left alone as he was during his crucifixion. Forsaken by all besides his disciple John and his Mother, Blessed Mary.

Being here in this prayer community I have had the opportunity to experience the Lord in the most profound way as I have never had before. Father Ezekiel who is our Bishop many times experiences stigmata which is (in Christian tradition) marks corresponding to those left on Jesus’ body by the Crucifixion, said to have been impressed by divine favor on the bodies of St. Francis of Assisi and others). However, he experiences spiritual stigmata where the Lord takes him through the passion in pain. I found myself sitting at his bed side through one of the episodes and many times the Lord won’t tell him who he is suffering for but this time he did. The Lord referenced it was “his unfaithful bride” and that he was looking to be consoled.  As the Lord kept telling his unfaithful bride “what about the children, if not for me then what about the children?” Oh, how those words cut my heart to pieces. The Lord was speaking about the spiritual children him and his bride birth or can birth together if she would surrender herself to only him. However, the world and the summer season have taken his brides attention away from being with him. As I began to pray I found myself in a vision of “the passion”.

“I saw Jesus carrying the cross and the jeering crowd hurling insults and throwing rocks at him. What touched me the most is that I first saw Jesus with his “bride” in a room as he was crying out to her, please don’t leave me if not for me then for the children. This “bride” was so indifferent and utterly annoyed at his request as she stood oppositite of him with her arms folded. Completely rejecting him then stomping out the door leaving him in tears. Then the scene went back to the passion as he was carrying his cross with blood, tears and sweat running down his cheeks, so sad, lonely and utterly downcast. I saw our Lady, Blessed Mother there walking silently along with her son in the crowd her heart broken too. Then I saw his “bride” very close to the road to Del A rosa but she was in the homes of other man. Being with them, spending time with them and one man said “isn’t that your husband being crucified don’t you want to be with him”. Yet, the bride responded with such repugnance and disdain to him as she continued to carry on with her other “lovers (the world).  Then I saw other brides who were in the marketplace in Jerusalem buying and selling things as the people would say “isn’t that your husband being crucified” and she too would respond with compelte indifference with no care or love at all for Jesus as she continued…business as usual. Then finally we got to the top of calvary as they had erected Jesus on the crucifix. Then other bride came this time to mock at him, curse him tell him suffering was a disgrace, she was so ungrateful and utter despised the cross. Jesus, heart was being ripped to shreds at her words, His wife, His bride, the Lover of his heart had not only rejected him but betrayed and mocked him just like the crowd. He was in tears and so was Blessed Mother as she stood facing him, her heart broken as well to think she had entrusted Her heart, her son, into the arms of a women she though would love him  and care for him as his wife. 

Then the vision ended…I was in tears as I cried. Remembering I too used to be that unfaithful wife. Lord if we only knew how much you still need us, need our company, our lives, our love and our surrender fully as brides of Christ so I went to console him. A few days later I began to pray the rosary, the 7 sorrowful mysteries to be exact which trace 7 aspects of Mary’s life with Jesus where the sword as Simeon prophecies had perfected her heart

Luke 2:35
so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

 

So as I continued to pray I envision myself in every scene  of Blessed Mothers life with Jesus and focused on being with him there. I got to the sixth sorrowful mystery where Jesus was taken down from the cross and I was yet again in front of his passion. I saw Jesus, now dead completely uncovered, beaten, flesh torn and ripped with much much blood as I looked at him with such sorrow. To the left I saw Our Lady, Blessed Mother who was the one his body was given too. However, she looked at me with tenderness as she was in an all black veil and beckoned for me to come. She backed away and motioned for the Lords body to be given to me instead. I was amazed as i walked up close to the cross and the soldiers began to lower his body I realized I was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress as the rested Jesus in my arms. All I could feel was such deep sorrow as I looked at his mutilated body and immediately took off my veil to cover his nakedness and wrapped it around him. Then I laid him gently down as I began to rip pieces of my wedding dress skirt to wrap the gaping wounds of his feet, his legs, and head with the crown of thorns removed. All I could do was kiss, my Jesus and tell him how sorry I was for what I did. Then the next scene I saw myself now in the tomb. Our Lady Blessed Mother was there and had just finished wrapping him in swaddling clothes for his burial. She looked up at me beckoned me to come once me and sit with him. So I did this time as she smiled gentle at me and as she walked away she said “Stay with him”. So I did, for a while just looking at his lifeless body and kissing his hands. Then I came out of the vision.

I never knew I could experience the Lord in such a real, personal and passionate way not only through these prayers but through his passion. Our God still suffers, each soul is his bride and we must ask ourselves where we fit in. Which bride our we to the Lord. The one with many lovers, (money, man, the world etc), the bride who is to busy ( with family, holidays, career etc) or the bride who despises the cross (who is always complaining, hates to suffer, doesn’t carry their cross etc). Which bride are you? The Lord is calling to his “unfaithful brides not only come back to me but stay with me”. The Lord gets so much consolation from our companionship, our love, our presence. Yes! Jesus if fully God but he is also Man still…and just like any man he has needs, the needs of those he loves and those who say they love him. Please there is so much suffering going on in this world and Jesus is hurting. He calling out to his brides….he is calling out to you beloved. Will you stay with him? Be with him in worship, Be with him in prayer stay with him.

-From Jesus with Love

Star Gazing With Jesus

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It was another night in Taos, New Mexico now going to sleep at a new location, in a new bed, at a new place. The adjustment hasn’t been easy to say the least but, the Lord has been so merciful and gracious. Upon arriving I stopped hearing him like I usually would and also in fear of being deceived like I had been previously in my former blog post https://myheartoverflowing.com/2019/05/30/how-the-lord-delivered-me-from-a-religious-spirit-because-of-delayed-obedience/ .I had a great fall and was working my way back slowly to trusting again to hear from the Lord. The Lord was so sweet as I got here after my prayers I was thinking in my heart Lord will you restore our relationship again.  I heard in my heart “pull a rhema card”. These were the infamous rhemas Mother lare had talked about on her channel and had caused me to began my own rhema box. Which her just simply prophetic words from the Lord on index cards about 1,000 of them. So I did as the Holy spirit instructed and pulled a card and it said ” I will restore our relationship and the graces that were lost” I was like wow! If he doesn’t read your mail using those rhemas man. It encouraged me greatly.

 

However, as the days went on I found myself struggling with so much emotional torment of loneliness and hopelessness. Now away from my loved ones and having losing everyone to come here I wasn’t on the mountain yet but staying with Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel in their home. As we were in preparation in getting the Holy Prayer Mountain ready to make it livable for all who came. I was the first to arrive among everyone so I found my nights long and many times prayers drowned in tears asking the Lord for strength admits the assailment of the enemies lies and doubts that stormed my mind at times. It was even more difficult sensing the Lord but not really hearing from him so many times I found myself just going thru the emotions. Then one night after prayer I decided to get another rhema using the website link instead https://www.heartdwellers.org/rhema-page.html then it said

” Take a walk with me”

I usually love this rhema because I loooove talking a walk with Jesus its like an adventure every time I listened to this prompting when I received it. However, I was at a new place and it was 10:31pm at night…dark. Now, that still didn’t surprise me because when I was at my home in Texas there were times I got this rhema at 11pm at night once and it was cold, plus I didn’t have my glasses on. However, I obeyed and thought Lord what are you up too, he had me walk around with him didn’t say anything but I felt prompted to pray for my neighborhood. This time around however, having been deceived recently of a lying spirit I went to a “bible promises book” for discernment. I thought to ask Mother Clare or Father Ezekiel if it was okay to go outside but I thought let me ask holy spirit if this was the Lord and he gave me scriptures under the subject of “Marriage” . When I get that the Lord is addressing my spousal relationship with him as his bride so I knew it was the Lord but I was still a little hesitant.

You see at there house they have a pasture with a low loose wire fence that stops at the end of their back. Then you can easily cross over into the pasture there was a specific tree I was always pulled to when I felt down or to go and pray. So I felt the Lord was telling me to go to the tree and it was utterly dark, no lights at all. So I thought to myself “whew” okay Nana be brave. I just had the Lords supper so I had a monstrance with the Lord body inside and my phone as a flash light. I then began to put my shoes on and courageous slide the doors to the sun room and walked into the backyard which over looked the ever so dark vast pasture over looking the mountains. I crossed over the fence and mentioned for my guardian angel to escort me as well as I began to walk in this vast dark field repeatedly saying “Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you Jesus I trust in you”. Just then I arrived at the tree. Thinking to myself okay Jesus I am here what did you bring me out here for???….and all I heard was silence.

Then I felt prompted to look up and I was in UTTER AWE!! The Taos night sky was filled with a billion stars and a crisp beautiful clear sky filled with a billion shinning stars. My mouth dropped wide open in amazement at the beauty then at the love of God. I was flabbergasted that Jesus would have me in mind first off then not only that get me up in the middle of the night just to stargaze with him waaaa!! Yes our God does stuff like that he is so freaking romantic!! lol I said “hush Jesus hush” really you would have me come out here just to look at the stars with you…your so romantic and sweet Lord! I stood there just staring at the vastness of Gods glory and the beauty of his workmanship.

I then began to remember the scriptures which came to my mind when the Lord spoke to Abraham

Genesis 15:5

He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars–if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

I felt the Lord reminding me that promise was for me too as I had come to this place in obedience following him and another scripture came to my mind that “he knows the stars by name, that HE knew me by name before the foundation of the earth.

Psalm 147:7
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Just then my phone came across my hands and I didn’t realize how bright the flashlight was on my phone until the shadow of my hand covered entire trees. Something similar to the picture below but not quite lol

 

 

 

As I ran my what seemed to be now my GOD SIZED hand across the vast pasture, upon each tree then on mountain then the sky. As they all seemed to fit in the palm of my now GOD SIZED HAND. I began to feel the Lord speak to my heart as he reminded me that all of creation was in the palm of his hand.  The trees where in the palm of his hands, the mountain where in the palm of his hands and I too am in the palm of his hands. That I had absolutely nothing to worry that he indeed was with him and holding me thru this all. I was amazed and in all at the Lords mercy towards me and his loving kindness that continued to uphold me. I walked back with him after a few minutes of  star gazing with  my beloved, admiring his creation and how He just wanted to be with me to stargaze. So next time you take a walk be reminded he is right there next to you and take some time to smell the roses literally, or for a fluttering butterfly or a heart shaped cloud and look up in the night sky as you watch the starts go by with your beloved Jesus. Knowing that you he knows your name and He has YOU in the palm of your hands!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

To The Mountains We Go: Sacred Heart Refuge

 

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“This is going to be an international community that will come and go and stay small and intimate. They come to catch the Fire, then return to their own countries with Me to light a fire in their homeland”
– Jesus
(Still Small Voice: Messages An International Community)

I have been gone for a bit , okay a long while lol Due to a new change in direction for me. After waiting and waiting for so long the Lord has directed my feet to Taos, New Mexico to be apart of a praying community. This was truly a suprise to me when the Lord called me and wanted me to leave immeaditley. You see I now look back and recognizing he had been forming me a while for this. My walk with him began to get a lot more narrower with him during the end of March going into lent. Where I noticed he began to pull me away from public ministry and even stop me doing the outreaches I do once a month. At first I contended …as I always do then I began to yield still not understanding why or what he was doing. Then during lent he really began to have me pull away from the world altogether and not allowing me to go out even to ministry events but to only stay at his feet in prayer day and night. So after about a month an a half of this I began to get “cabin fever” I realized okay Lord your sanctifying me for sure in preparation for this next season.  Which I had my own plans about but I am learning to stop having expectations and plans with Jesus it never works out, you think I would’ve learned by now lol but nope so this all came at a surprise.

When in the beginning of May on Still Small Voice Channel, which is a ministry I am apart of and the ministry that has helped me to grow in intimacy with the Lord and even began this blog the Lord began to call out to those he had “chosen” to come to a refuge on a mountain. To leave the world and live a life of solitude and prayer with him for a time. Now upon me seeing the title I was immeaditly and utterly repulsed and I am being serious! I had been in doors for so long I was ready to get out! I was ready for the Lord to give me the green light or show me what he was preparing me for and I was sure it was going to be so exciting not deeper place into more prayer and solitude lol. I know I sound so terrible for being honest but I must be to show the grace and mercy of God. I found myself again feeling the calling strongly and recognizing that is what he was molding me for but I didn’t want it all. Has anyone struggled with surrender like me?

In the prophetic message he had made it clear that we were previlaged for this and many of us he was calling higher to a life of prayer and deeper intimacy with him. That it would be a place where we grow in discernment, in hearing his voice more clear and walking in gifts like healing and spiritual wisdom. I had got ordained a few months prior but, I hadn’t really told anyone about it. However, when I felt this call from the Lord I reached out to Mother Clare  who is my spiritual director and the head of the still small voice ministry she too confirmed that the Lord was calling me there after telling her some of the rhemas I had received. She then told me to seek the Lord and I got

Luke 5:11
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.

My card was a little revised and said ” Don’t Fear leave everything and follow me…from now you will catch men”

 

I was floored and struggled with this for 2 days crying because I didn’t realize how attached I was to my family, ministry and to be honest the world. Was I really ready to leave the world behind and plus Jesus didn’t tell me about this! lol I had plans you know not only for my life but I thought for the rest of the year but when you are walking with Jesus you must follow wherever he leads when he leads. So after about two weeks of rebellion and oppression I finally committed to leaving. The Lord had told me earlier before lent starting that he was going to began speaking to me everyday which he did and he said “everything will come against the words I am speaking to you…everything” and in deed EVERYTHING CAME AGAINST THIS CALL.

The Lord being so faithful he had already gone ahead of me, you see in the beginning of the year he surprised me by having one of my youtube follower reach out to me and bless me with a buddy pass for a whole year. She works with united airlines and felt the Lord putting me on her heart to travel anywhere in the world for FREE!! I couldn’t believe and I told the Lord ” I guess were traveling this year!” . Once again I had my own plans of where I wanted to go and when but as you know the Lord had HIS own plans for me. So when I finally made up my mind I knew the Lord wanting me to immeadilty, to obey immediately as the discipled did. I now see in his great mercy that was a second chance to the call of God. He could’ve have left me back in Texas when I resisted for those two weeks but he was so ever patient and waited. So I gave my family about a 2 day notice and told them  I was not finally leaving to follow Jesus to New Mexico. I took one bag because he had told me too “take nothing with you for the journey”

 

Luke 9:3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey–no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.

Its amazing how scripture comes to life when you are following Jesus and I he had already a ticket provided so I traveled for $0.00. AMAZING! However, Everything I mean EVERYTHING came against this call. My entire family, all my “good christian friends”, Pastors you name it. I was getting calls all over the day I was leaving and text message to not go, its dangerous, tremendous slander against the ministry all of hell used the closest people to me to detour me from coming. However, walking with Jesus I know when immense opposition comes against a direction of God it further validates for me that is right where I need to be. There was only one person on my side, with Jesus and all of heaven.

Once I finally touched down in the airport across the security lines I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and I knew Hell had lost again another battle “for nothing can oppose the will of God”.  I had the most amazing encounters with people at the airport and would love for you all to be praying for the salvation “Wayne- a new ager looking for truth and Kathy-homosexual lady looking for truth. They were wonderful souls and divinely appointed by the Lord. Upon arriving in Taos, New Mexico it was breath taking seeing the beautiful mountain and it was more beautiful when I was finally able to go and stay on the mountain as we build the community.

The Lord had given this vision to Mother Clare 20 years ago that she would be taking a group of young people with a torch then seeing them on fire thru the woods. This prayer mountain has been anointed by Saint Elijah the prophet himself to be consecrated Holy ground and a place for refuge for the remnant as well once the tribulation starts. The Holy Prayer mountain will be available for visitors next year to come and have retreats by groups/churches or personal time of solitude for anyone who wants to draw closer to Jesus and indeed of spiritual council. For those who are called there now we will have our very own hermitages in the mountain separate from one another to be alone with the Lord. It is quite amazing up there, so peaceful the air so clean and truly a place of respite. So to the mountain I go with me and Jesus walking on this crazy adventure called “Life” as He writes His story within me for his glory!

Below I have a link to some video footage I have done on my youtube channel and a prophet message from the Lord about that place. Please visit our website https://www.heartdwellers.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWgh6peBRXA&t=7s

 

My Confession: My Struggles with Jealousy and Being Insecure In Gods Love

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Jesus began, “You have said it well, My Love. And thank you for including the struggle you have with jealousy. 

 “My dear ones, nothing will kill a church or particular body of believers as fast as jealousy. It is one of the most deadly sins, because it destroys unity and creates serious moral lapses for the sake of retaliation and competition. So many who are in the music ministry have a gift, but their hearts are far from Me. Rather, they are seeking the world’s accolades.
(still small voice http://www.heardwellers.org)

I want to be very candid and transparent in this post concerning my hidden struggles that I have had with Jealously and Insecurities in my walk with the Lord. The newest message from the Lord was posted today on Still Small Voice which is a ministry that I am apart of. Within the message Ms. Clare was very honest concerning her struggles with Jealousy as she was seeing others grow in their anointing and holiness. As I was reading all I could do was laugh because the very same things she struggles with  I do too! That is what I love about her and the ministry is that not only is she anointed but, so very open about her weakness and in-capabilities. Which immediately prompted me to do this blog to confess mine as well because some may see me writing blogs, having my YouTube channel, doing fb live prayers every week, posting words of encouragement,  and always speaking about intimacy with Jesus but, not knowing my very real weakness. Which should encourage anyone that the Lord loves to use hot messes which I am one of them lol

This past week in my alone time with the Lord he kept giving me scriptures on “Jealously” 4 days in a row.  through my bible promises book which I use for discernment  as I began to really examine my heart thinking Lord where , Lord where? At first my eyes would fall on the scripture about how God is a jealous God, so I began to think I wasnt being faithful to the Lord because there couldn’t be jealousy in my heart. (  of course not right ..oh boy lol) .You know when we try to get out of a conviction the Holy Spirit is calling out lol). After, the third day day, I was then like okay Lord you are addressing something. So Upon receiving this message he hit the nail right on the head.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4)

You see this past few weeks the Lord has really been showing many hidden sins in my heart that offend him as he is calling me to holiness and pureness of heart. He has began to show me that I was insecure in my love with the him. Why was I still desiring others approval or love from others and when I didn’t get I felt rejected. You would think after spending hours in prayer and worship with the Lord every morning I would come out feeling so secure about who I was in him but,  as he has made me aware “I was seeking him but, didn’t trust him”. So then a situation would occur  during the day and I would be hit with arrows of rejection because of the response I would get from others. Then a friend candidly said to me “Nana you do all these videos on youtube, you talk about intimacy with Jesus but, your not deeply rooted and ground in Gods love  that’s why you still struggle with wanting love from others.” I thought to myself wow isn’t that so true. Especially when dealing with relationship of any form we tend too look for the people in our lives to provide that love for us and they never fully fulfill that role only Jesus can. However, I was still insecure in my relationship with Jesus which affected everything else. I needed to be deeply rooted and grounded in his love for me that I could be made whole.

  • I realize when I was insecure about Gods love for me I looked for those around me to provide that security of love
  • Being  insecure about Gods love for me I began to look to others for validation
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to question the sincerity of others love towards me
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love guarded not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love the Lord half halfheartedly and not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to fear being hurt by others
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to compare myself ultimately causing me to have Jealous thought towards others

So because of the root cause of my lack of security and trust in my identity in Christ I found myself having Jealous thoughts toward a dear friend. In the most subtle ways but, of course not to God and the saints. Our thoughts are so very loud before all of heaven lol  As someone who is called to lead others this demon of Jealousy is so terrible and easily causes deep breaches of division, and not only quench the Spirit of God in ministry but ruin your soul eek! Furthermore, the Lord has made me known that laziness and jealousy goes hand in hand. Those who have are anointed by the Lord have worked very hard so many times is our lack of application that causes us to be Jealous of others. So I am glad to be exposing it and getting the darkness out!

I found myself being territorial of a fb page I was called to run. I need help so I asked her to assist me with the page however, when she began to really take over the page and do things without asking. giving suggestion. I found Jealously rising in my heart in being territorial of something that wasnt mine in the first place but it’s the Lords ( I  mean can anyone relate). Then secondly we both decided to do prayers on fb live first together then separately. We began to do at the same time and day. As time went out I would find myself seeing her prayer video but, my eyes falling on how many views and comments she got versus me.  (I mean can anyone relate) Lastly I found myself comparing her messages from Jesus to mine. As she would share what the Lord was telling her as we are both learning to discern the Lords voice. Her messages sounded so regal and wise full of authority. However my messages sounded so simple, like my own thoughts and the devils would get me to just want to give up pressing in to hear Gods voice. ( I mean can anyone relate ). lol I mean comparison is a death trap! I found these were all the issue of my heart ;however outwardly everything seemed find. Until, the Lord began to call out all this hidden sin and offenses that were going on that no one else knew about but, him. He first had me confess it to my dear friend in which I am so grateful for our unique relationship because she was so gracious and just laughed. Wheew, I thank the Lord for his faithfulness as he continues to tell me to shine the light on the dark places in my heart that others may have the freedom to do the same thing. One thing I also felt he told me was that I am unique, I have a set of people he has anointed for me to draw to himself so it makes no sense to compare. All that do will continue to be different from anyone else because of the unique souls I am called to reach. That is the same for each of us, when we began to compare it kills Gods unique anointing  upon our lives because there are people I am called to reach with my looks, my height, with my voice, with my experiences, with  my weaknesses, failures etc that they can relation too but, not to someone else.

So I don’t know if you have dealt with this or are dealing with this especially in ministry its okay lol Its just not okay to stay there I have learned that there is so much freedom in confession sins truly. It liberates you and the other person. So if you have had this struggle with someone I encourage you to open and tell them you would be amazed they may have some of the same feelings towards you as well which gives them freedom to share their weakness. So lets embrace our uniqueness and most importantly be deeply rooted in Gods love!

My Prayer for myself and for you: Ephesians 3

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant us according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; that we, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that we may be filled with all the fullness of God and come to embrace our unique identity in him in Jesus name!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Great Faith Is Tried In The Waiting

Image result for faith in the waiting

When the Lord says” READY, SET…..WAIT lol. As I saw this image for this blog post I just fell in love. It summed up perfectly for me not only what my walk has been like but learning that Great Faith is made in the “waiting”. You see for me I had prayed to the Lord often when I would watch sermons of the generals of the faith and read book on  great missionaries who had done great exploits for the Lord and cried out in my heart asking Lord make me women of Great faith”.  Then excited to get direction from him about the task that he had for me however, I would consistently get “be patient”, “wait” Hmm. At first when I began to follow Christ I was a lot more anxious to know my calling and excited that the Lord had called me to his services as I would wait for direction for the next step and get “wait”, then the second year “wait’, then the third year “wait”. The Lord would always provide small task here and there to ensure I was faithful, He would move me from my job, out of my apartment, back to my mothers house to ensure I was faithful and to humble me and grow me in charity, then the forth year still “waiting”. It hasn’t been easy sometimes waiting on the Lord is the most difficult thing to do but, our trust grows. So I began to have others around me began to question and not quite understand why I seemed too always  be”waiting on the Lord”. Some began to say, well you know “faith without works is dead”  as if to say that I must do something to help the Lord out rather than doing exactly what he said “wait”.

James 2:26
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. 

Many read this scripture out of context but, when you go back and read verse 23 Paul talks about Abraham “believing God” and it was counted to him as righteousness. It wasn’t through his faith only but, his works. So to simply believe is a “works of faith”. Its not only about action but, how well someone believes. It took work to believe what God spoke to Abraham and because he did believe it worked out his faith! So too have great faith means simply to believe greatly! Yes it is in the waiting where our Great faith is tried, tested and grown. We live in a generation who don’t know how to wait. We want everything fast, convenient and in a hurry. If there is any delay we call it “the enemy of progress” lol. We rush to to grow up, we rush to go to college, we rush to graduate, we rush to get married, we rush to have the career we want, we rush to have children, we rush to go to places, we rush to get into ministry if God calls us. We rush to clean, We rush to get things done…rush, rush, rush this little demon of rush. I tell you there are demons behind this as the Lord has revealed through still small voice ministry, a prophetic ministry I am apart of . Jesus often taught us that their are always demons that cause his people to rush. As I get this rhema often:

“The rabbit ran circles around the turtle but the turtle won the race. Gods processes are slow Don’t be in a hurry”

In our generation we have been provided with much knowledge about who God is but, many us….many have not really grown or matured in great faith. Especially in our country where we have everything accessible to us. In a book I read a while back a missionary who visited the U.S.  said Him and his brethren would gather together in a remote village to meet secretly to have bible study during their communion time the Lord would turn their water into wine every time. You see they were to poor to afford purchasing wine so they trusted and believed the Lord do a miracle and he blessed their faith. Upon finishing his message a young man came to him and said, why do you think in America we do not see miracles like that and the missionary simply said “because you guys have wine”. lol  In our country there is a tendency to get everything we need rather than relying on God to show up for what we need therefore having great faith.
We did a bible study at my small group last Friday as we went through the passages of scripture in Hebrew 11 and dissecting what is looks like to have great faith as our for fathers before us. So It was so amazing, refreshing , sobering and so convicting, To see how our faith measured up to these great heroes of faith who are now cloud of witness that cheer us on. From Hebrew 11  This is what Great Faith looks Like

  • Faith is framed by the word of God- What promises has the Lord given to you and will you cling to it however long it takes too be fulfilled?
  • Faith is invisible you can not see it but you hope in it and then you will see
  • Faith approves our righteousness and is a gift from God but can be given back to him when we believe in his word
  • Faith pleases God
  • Faith moves under a godly fear and obeys the word God gives
  • Faith will condemn and convict those around you
  • Faith will take a leap at Gods word even when it doesn’t know the full picture
  • Faith will take you into foreign places that will become your promise land
  • Faith waits on the Lords even when it seems impossible
  • Faith doesn’t entrust in itself but on the person who gave the promise, because He alone is Faithful
  • Faith can give you a child at any age despite what the Doctors say (just saying)
  • Faith is a lifestyle…its not only what you believe but how you live
  • Faith sometimes is not always seen on this side of heaven
  • Faith continues to believe the “word” will not pass away even if you pass away without seeing the promise
  • Faith is living for Eternity
  • Faith gives itself as a living sacrifice and willing to give to God whatever he ask no matter how precious it is to us
  • Faith doesn’t yield to fear
  • Faith endures affliction or suffering rather than to enjoy fleeting pleasures
  • Faith regarded disgrace for Christ sake as greater value than the treasures of the world
  • Faith looks ahead for the eternal reward
  • Faith perseveres through the most heaviest of tribulations or trials
  • Faith is obedient
  • Faith suffers much persecution to gain a better resurrection or glory with God
  • Faith looks crazy, sometimes sheepskin, weird clothing, hermit solitude lifestyle kind of crazy lol

So what are you waiting on God for? If you say you truly believe what does your life and lifestyle say do you have faith in Gods known word or even a prophetic word he has given you? Will you continue to wait when the world, family members, friends, pressure you to move ahead of Gods timing, Will you continue to wait on the Lord or will you be moved by a bad report, or circumstance, situations or even how you feel? Will you wait on the Lord as he is growing your faith? I believe the bigger the miracle, the greater the waiting, the greater the ministry, the greater the preparation, the bigger the testimony, the greater the testing in Faith. So will you wait beloved as the Lord is refining you into a GREAT MAN OR WOMAN OF FAITH!

“The greater you wait on me for marriage (or anything) the greater your reward”

-Jesus
(still small voice ministry)

-From Jesus With Love

Call of Action: As Christians We Must Wake Up and Stand In Truth!

LEFT BEHIND WARNING TO THE CHURCH 2

Jeremiah 19:4-6
For they have forsaken me and made this a place of foreign gods; they have burned incense in it to gods that neither they nor their ancestors nor the kings of Judah ever knew, and they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent. They have built the high places of Baal to burn their children in the fire as offerings to Baal—something I did not command or mention, nor did it enter my mind.So beware, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when people will no longer call this place Topheth or the Valley of Ben Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter.

My heart grieves now more than it ever did in prayer because the heart of the Father grieves for what has been going on in our nation for so many years. We as his children,  the majority of his sons and daughter have sat silently and allowed darkness to take over our nation. If I can be honest, I too was silent for so many years or you can say indifferent . I was pro-choice, I was a democrat, not at all concerned with my country, more or less  not concerned with my future and not at all  concerned with eternity. So I thought was down to a woman’s choice, who are we to take someones free will. I mean I wouldn’t do it (say’s the person who has never been pregnant) but, if other ladies wanted to “who was I” to stop them.

Call of Action for Christians:

However, that is just the point as a christian “Who are you?” Let me tell you what you are called to be. You are sent here to testify of the true light which is Christ, You are a child of God who is a sojourner on this earth with a heavenly citizenship. You are called too live for things above and not things of the earth. You are called too be in this world but, not of this world. You are called too pray for those in authority and leaders in our government. You are called too make disciples of Jesus Christ teaching them how to obey his statues. You are called too be examples, imitators of Christ and living sacrifices. You are called too stand up before leaders and proclaim Gods word with boldness. You are called too be set apart Holy as are Father is Holy.  You  are called too speak whatever the Lord puts in your mouth and not be afraid of rejection. You are called too serve only One God, the true living God and have no other idols before him. You are called too to save others by snatching them out of the fire. You are called too subdue the earth and advance the Kingdom of God upon the earth. You are called too take back territory from the kingdom of darkness that whatsoever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatsoever you  lose on earth will be lose in heaven. You are called too prepare the way of the Lord! That is who who you are but, many, too many of us go on silently and selfishly living our lives. However, the Lord is sounding a Clarion Call today that the children of God must arise and take back this nation!! You must choose this day whom you will serve? Will you continue serving your family by not speaking out because you will be made fun or fear rejection? Will you continue to serve your Party, the Democratic Party that is so full of elite leaders who want the demise of this nation and are for murdering babies, Will you continue to serve your race  because you are a minority or African American thinking the republican party hasn’t been for “our kind” so you just cant vote for them? Will you continue to serve the world and culture that say’s its not your problem everyone has rights so stay out of peoples business? Will you continue to serve yourselves and do nothing at all, maybe not even vote because God will have his way with or without you? No, we must serve God as believers we must unite under what unites us Jesus Christ and his word. By allowing that to be our foundation and identity nothing else. We must recognize we will be held accountable for what we do and what we didn’t do when we stand before God. We will be held accountable for continuing to vote and be apart of a party that is completely against God ways. More importantly we will be held accountable for the innocent blood of babies that will be on our hands if you say nothing or do nothing.  We must wake up church and notice the signs are everyone the fig tree is due to be ripe any moment, Jesus is coming back in our generation! These babies are not just killed but, they are bodies are harvested and used for horrific things, satanic rituals etc its so heartbreaking but, very true. There is not time for us to slumber and keep our heads in the sands like ostriches trusting God will do something about it. For he already has, he sent you! Yes, you hear upon this earth to be his ambassador or righteousness so its time to fight on our knees, fight in the voting booths and stand on truth unmoved by the opposition because we are already victorious!

 

“The time for indignation is past; now is the time for action. The church has thickened on her lees, it is time for her to awaken the world and take an active roll in seeing to it that righteousness reigns in this country.

“Your president cannot do this alone. He needs every man and woman on board with his agenda. It is your prayers for the nation, your outcries, your educating those who are ignorant, your active roll in fighting this massive front of evil until it comes crashing down……And it’s not all about how you feel – it’s your commitment to doing the right thing when it’s inconvenient. Will you go out of your way for a serious discussion with one of your children who doesn’t know her right hand from her left as far as the battles of the powers of evil vs. good in this nation? Will you stand the heat when you are scorned for your perspective? How much are you willing to invest? That will determine your return.”- Jesus
(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

Call to Action for Mothers:

We have allowed just as it was in the times of old, during Jeremiahs time to have the elite and leaders of this nation continue to follow their foreign gods and sacrifice on the altar of Moloch. Nothing has changed, when you read the bible many see it as historical especially in the new testament but its the living word. We lie in the same times right now where the Altar of Moloch now looks different and has subtlety been introduced as “abortion”. Statics show that 881,0000 children are killed every year thru abortion in America (Stats on abortions) . We have surpassed Jeremiahs time and the Lord is grieving all of heaven is grieving. We must understand that God is very serious about his word so when we serve other ‘gods” and continue to shed innocent blood it calls forth his judgment. No, the Lord will never and cannot understand abortions there is no case in his eyes that will be justified when you stand before him, you know why? Because HE IS IN CONTROL the Lord allows everything in our life. He was aware of that mother who got raped and find herself pregnant, He was aware of the young girl with health issues now is with child, He was aware of the mother finding out her child will have disabilities. He is aware of every case and He is the one that gave these women their children as gifts! (Psalm 127) Only if they would come to trust him, he knows each personas circumstance yet in all of what we think is “mess” the Lord sees it fit and right for the greatest blessing not only to the world but, that mother would need, a child.  So if your a sister reading this and the Lord led you hear its to wake you up from the lies that have swarmed your mind and heart. God has given you the greatest gift that you need. He has already made provision for you and his child.  The child you are carrying has come with gifts from heaven this world needs so please don’t kill this child. You have a very real enemy who continue to put suggestions in your mind has lied to you through family, friends, even doctors because He knows in the eyes of God this is murder and not only that it breaks Gods heart.  He knows your future is filled with hope and success if you would trust God. So don’t look to the left or the right but trust him, it may not be easy but everything will be okay.

 

Jesus began, “I am so glad you mentioned the reasons people are willing to kill an unborn child. Oh, My people, what is your thinking? ‘I shouldn’t have this child now, because I can’t afford it?’ Do you know who brought that pressure to bear in your thinking? It surely wasn’t ME. I gave you the gift of that child with ALL the provision you would ever need, if you will consider raising the little one according to My plans and not the world’s.

“How foolish to think that you can’t have a child without thousands of dollars put away. Please, do not think as the World thinks. Rather, trust Me. That I will provide. Because I will! And trust that I know what I am doing when I choose the time for the child to be born.

“There is no greater gift or grace in your life, other than salvation of your soul and your husband or wife, than the gift of a child. Children do not need adults to raise them. As a matter of fact, most of you only become adults after you have a child. So, it is My provision to accelerate you into a new level of life that brings with it Godly maturity.
-Jesus

(still small voice ministry: Prophetic message Apology for Neglecting You & Why never Abortion)

Call to Action to Our Leaders:

Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others.
Leaders of this nation are in their offices because God has planted them there. He is so wise that he even uses those who are against him for his glory. Many times just like what the children of Israel, when the people no longer wanted Gods judgments or statues to be their guiding light he gives them over to exactly what they wanted. Which never ends well and that is what he has done to America. A nation that was once for God,  began to remove God thru many former presidents and leader. Removing his decrees, his statues, and even his name out of many influential places in our nation. So once we have God out the devil then has a way in. However, the Lord has raised up his servant a prayerful president who is being transformed by the Holy Spirit to lead this nation back to righteousness. The Leaders who are against Donald Trump are not against just a mere man alone but they contend with God. We know that if God is before us who can be against us! The evil and wickedness in the heart of these man and leaders will not prevail against the King of Kings and the Lord of  Host mighty in battle. The Lord is looking for leaders who will stand in righteousness, leaders who may not like Donald Trump but, believe in where he is taking this nation. He will remove those leaders who continue to fight against him. Leaders who continue to show themselves as upright in the eyes of man but, do the most wicked heinous things in the dark. All that is hidden will be brought to the light by God in due time. For this nation is the Lords, and before the foundation of the earth he had it in mind to raise this nation up in the endtimes to be a beacon of light to all the other surrounding nations.  What God said he will do and nothing can stop his decree especially when his people are praying! As a leader will you stand with God? Will you stand to make America great again? or will you continue wander blindly with a stiff neck and an obtuse mind? Please pick wisely your nation and eternity depends on it.

“For far too long people have turned a deaf ear to the complaints of those who are grieved by the corruption of this nation. Now is the time to flush the corruption from the soil of this nation so that she may arise in newness of life. This process is always painful; purification is never easy. Decay and death have been the basis for the majority of this nation’s politicians. Maintaining the status quo, passing over the real moral issues and straining on gnats. The time for that is over. I, myself, will see to it that evil is flushed from this government and its deceptive arm, the media.
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

Facts of Truth

To be honest the Lord keeps me away fro the news and rightfully so. There is so much rancor, division, slander and so much more that enters the heart of his children when we listen to news or seek after things he didn’t lead us too. But what I am about to reveals is not a conspiracy, its not something out a sci-fi film but is the devastation and disgusted truth of wickedness in our nation and the darkness that surrounds many souls. It was all the Lord’s doing to expose planning parenthood for what they were really doing for so many years. Taking fetus of unborn children and selling it on the black market.Aborted Fetuses Sold . The saddest part is their clients weren’t lowly, inhumane thugs that take these babies body parts. No, it is the elite in our nation, the rich, the powerful, political leaders, the wealthy business owners that are caught up in the most horrific satanic rituals in killing children, kidnapping them and torturing them. In prayer a few months ago as I was praying for these children I saw a 12 year old boy he seemed around that age, he was in some underground tunnel or cave, completely naked and scared to death. I knew he was being hunted, yes it was a human hunt for his life. Then a few days ago as the Lord commissioned us to pray for the trafficked children I felt a tingly sensation in my right hand during prayer. Then I received an impression that it was a child from the cloud of witness who had come to pray with me in the spirit. The child grabbed my hand as we began to pray all I could do was cry. So not only are they taken to be used for pleasure but,for torture. I was unaware of all these things until the Lord brought it up. Its seems so far from my mind and my world I just couldn’t believe. That humans would take little children and torture them for adrenaline and their blood just to get high. Which is what led me to do the blog as the Lord has burdened me to speak out and let truth be known as to what is really going on!. Many of these things sound like something out of a movie but, these are all satanic rituals and I have come to understand that those who follow Satan have a decree that is standard that before they do anything that must show the public. So why not in entertainment so no one will take it seriously and they continue on in this travesty. So daily.com does a fine job on explaining what is really going on with kidnapped children and trafficked children they are tortured for Adrenochrome, a chemical known since at least the 1930s. Kids tortured for Adrenochrome .So this has been going on for several years in our nation and government. I believe longer than that, torturing children to drink their blood all by the deep state and cabal (the elite) some, which are apart of the Democratic Party. This is what is going on in our nation, in our own government if we don’t take a stand for truth, a stand for righteousness and a stand for our President Donald! We must rise up and shake off the sleep that has had us under and say no more! America is the Lord’s, Our Children belong to the Lord, and our Future belongs to the Lord!! Stand with me saints, stand with me in prayer and boldly proclaim truth where it calls for it!

“My people, I am dead serious. Rise up and claim dominion over this land. Rise up or perish with it. This is no time to run after your pleasures and distractions. This has been your behavior of the past and that’s what they are counting on. But now you are informed. And you are not of this world.”

“Greater is He that dwells in you than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4

“Stand up and take dominion. You are not alone, the hosts of Heaven are marching with you. I am with you, in you and working through you. Stand. Stand up and take dominion.”
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

The Sin of Job…”Woe is Me”

baby-pouting-gettyimages-86285025

This the first time I have given myself over in Lent truly allow the Lord to do surgery upon my heart and have his way in me. As it is a time of purification as the Lord draws you nearer to produce holiness.  He mentioned it would be challenging and how it has been to say the least. As he been showing me many hidden sins within myself that have been a hindrance to what he has called me to and to holiness. He has allowed many test and trials which I seemed to fail right after the other because of the same vices. I began to get frustrated, discouraged and found myself in self pity as I was thinking but Lord I have done all you have asked, I have done this..and that and this…and holy spirit continued to give reading in Job during my time of communion. As I finally realized he was pointing out one major hidden sin which was the sin of Job, the “woe is me sin”. The sin of Self Righteousness and Self Pity.

Job 32:2-4

So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him. 

If I can be honest many times I have heard of the story of job and read the last chapter but not the entire book and I never quite understood why his friends were reprimanded by God or understood why Job was severely chastised by the Lord. It was God who told Satan that he was righteous Job 2:6-22. However, as you see in Job 31, Job goes on to tell his friends all the sin’s had not committed to be worthy of this suffering he was going thru. Which sounded just like me when the Lord would reveal another hidden sin I would go on this rant within my heart regrading all the the sins I hadn’t done because it was utterly despondent  to find myself falling into sin everyday. Until, the Holy Spirit began to show me it is my Self righteousness that causes me to go into self pity when the Lord allows more suffering or reveals sin because there is nothing I can do within myself to ever be clean before him. It is Christ righteousness that makes me clean and therefore whatever he allows I deserve because he took the worst punishment which was death. Which I never have to taste because of what Christ has done.

I was humbled to say the least and really began to see the depravity of my immense pride that still lingered now in self righteousness and contending with the Lord by going into self pity when he allowed these ever fiery trials as I deserved his consolation or relief. He has been truly teaching me what it means to be a “living sacrifice” and to be yielded in “Total Surrender” which means to be a wounded prisoner of his love. Suffering with Christ and as Job finally stated “if he slay me, yet I will praise him” (Job 13:15). I believe the Lord is looking for us all as believers to come to that place of maturity that though he slays our flesh yet we will praise him! For many of us we are not willing to suffer or even surrender in suffering because we murmur, complain, get discouraged and worse go in self pity thinking we don’t deserve what the Lord is allow which will lead us all into self righteousness.

 

However, the Lord is faith and even though he is sovereign and he has divine providence over each our lives with whatever he allows which is always right and just. He is a good good Father as he has been reminding me in this season of Lent. That although this process of purification is painful and challenging he promises to restore. Always that nothing we sacrifice or endure is without merit in due time if we don’t give up. He is faithful to restore, establish and strengthen us. Just as Job, whose later days were far more glorious, joyful, fulfilling and fruitful more than the former. So my friend lets continue to endure and say yes to Jesus to whatever he ask of us, whatever he takes from us, and whatever failures we face. We say yes to you Jesus, we thank you for your righteousness that you clothe me us with and  give us he grace to rejoice in our suffering in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Job 31

What Can I Expect from God?

31 1-4 “I made a solemn pact with myself
    never to undress a girl with my eyes.
So what can I expect from God?
    What do I deserve from God Almighty above?
Isn’t calamity reserved for the wicked?
    Isn’t disaster supposed to strike those who do wrong?
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live?
    Doesn’t he mark every step I take?

5-8 “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
    or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
    so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
    wanted things I had no right to,
    messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
    give my portion to someone who deserves it.

9-12 “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman
    and conspired to go to bed with her,
Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead
    and sleep with anyone she wants to.
For disgusting behavior like that,
    I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down;
    I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.

13-15 “Have I ever been unfair to my employees
    when they brought a complaint to me?
What, then, will I do when God confronts me?
    When God examines my books, what can I say?
Didn’t the same God who made me, make them?
    Aren’t we all made of the same stuff, equals before God?

16-18 “Have I ignored the needs of the poor,
    turned my back on the indigent,
Taken care of my own needs and fed my own face
    while they languished?
Wasn’t my home always open to them?
    Weren’t they always welcome at my table?

19-20 “Have I ever left a poor family shivering in the cold
    when they had no warm clothes?
Didn’t the poor bless me when they saw me coming,
    knowing I’d brought coats from my closet?

21-23 “If I’ve ever used my strength and influence
    to take advantage of the unfortunate,
Go ahead, break both my arms,
    cut off all my fingers!
The fear of God has kept me from these things—
    how else could I ever face him?

If Only Someone Would Give Me a Hearing!

24-28 “Did I set my heart on making big money
    or worship at the bank?
Did I boast about my wealth,
    show off because I was well-off?
Was I ever so awed by the sun’s brilliance
    and moved by the moon’s beauty
That I let myself become seduced by them
    and worshiped them on the sly?
If so, I would deserve the worst of punishments,
    for I would be betraying God himself.

29-30 “Did I ever crow over my enemy’s ruin?
    Or gloat over my rival’s bad luck?
No, I never said a word of detraction,
    never cursed them, even under my breath.

31-34 “Didn’t those who worked for me say,
    ‘He fed us well. There were always second helpings’?
And no stranger ever had to spend a night in the street;
    my doors were always open to travelers.
Did I hide my sin the way Adam did,
    or conceal my guilt behind closed doors
Because I was afraid what people would say,
    fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much
That I turned myself into a recluse?
    You know good and well that I didn’t.

35-37 “Oh, if only someone would give me a hearing!
    I’ve signed my name to my defense—let the
        Almighty One answer!
    I want to see my indictment in writing.
Anyone’s welcome to read my defense;
    I’ll write it on a poster and carry it around town.
I’m prepared to account for every move I’ve ever made—
    to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.

38-40 “If the very ground that I farm accuses me,
    if even the furrows fill with tears from my abuse,
If I’ve ever raped the earth for my own profit
    or dispossessed its rightful owners,
Then curse it with thistles instead of wheat,
    curse it with weeds instead of barley.”

The words of Job to his three friends were finished.

 

 

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

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I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love