Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

Many Are Being Hit With Assignments of Hopelessness

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Romans 5:5

And HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

It was in during April when the Lord shared with me “that this summer would be difficult a test of faith and the enemy would do all that he can to make me feel hopeless because everything would come against the words he was speaking to me…everything”. Sure enough that has been so true, I don’t think I have been test and tried like I have this summer. However, I am continuously reminded when the Lord speaks to me about things concerning attacks and assignments against me many times its a corporate assignment against the body of Christ.

As I began to respond to comments through social media I started noticing that many other believers where feeling the same type of oppression. Many were battling with feelings of depression, hopelessness and even more so this month as it is Suicide prevention month, spirits of suicide have been released on the body of Christ as well. Forwarned is to be forearmed you know. The Lord has many of us fiery trials and battles that have seemed so long and arduous to truly test our character and our faith that many of us have gone weary. In the weariness the enemy comes at the most vulnerable moment to release thoughts, lies, images, and impressions of hopelessness. Saying “nothing will every change”, “you don’t really believe what the Lord said do you”, “Look your still in the same predicament, give up”, “go back to the old you”, ” Don’t wait on the Lord, YOU do something about it”, ” Are you sure Jesus said…look what is going on” and so much more but we must’n give into the lies! ( now just so you know I am talking to myself here too lol)

I realize before the arrow of hopelessness hit us, we open the door to doubt. Doubting Gods promises, doubting his faithfulness and doubting his goodness. When we began to doubt, the the demon of unbelief enter, the demon of impatience which is accompanied with the demon of anxiety, discouragement, depression and hopelessness. They have a field day in the minds and hearts of those who began to doubt Gods word and ways.  Once we get into that mindset we no longer see the value or have faith in praying and seeking the Lord. We find ourselves easily drawn away to other comforts to distract us which can easily pull us so far away we lose our desire for Gods presence all together. So how can we combat this onslaught?

Antidote: Strong praise and worship in the midst of your storm

I am here to encourage you to RISE UP! Now is the time for FERCIOUS FOCUS OF FAITH like never before! Cast down those vain imaginations, thoughts, and feelings began to declare the Lords promises, what he says about you and your situation not what your seeing or feeling. We must go back to the altars of faith. Everyone has them, think of moments in your life where God has answered prayers, when he made provision for you and of his faithfulness. Just as David did we must remind ourselves first of who God is and what he had done in the past remembring that He never changes! He is the same God today, yesterday and forever and if he was faithful before he will be faithful again. I had to go back in my journal and see how God had been leading my life the many things I wrote down not expecting him to answer and realizing many of the answered prayers I am walking in now! This too shall pass, like all the other trials and battles. Upon writing this blog this quote popped on my instagram so timely from my favorite Saint

“The Longer the trial to which God subjects you. The greater the goodness in comforting you during the time of trial and in the exaltation after the combat”
-St. Padre Pio

I am learning that during the test of our faith our hope must never lie on the circumstances changes, not on the people involved, in what is being said, in what is being done to you or what is not being done to you, and definitely not how we feel. our HOPE must be in Jesus Christ alone. We must hope in our Lords character which is good, loving, faithful, and just. Knowing that if he is allowing whatever your going through he will work it out for your good, bringing beauty out of ashes and its because he loves you that he has called you to endure and he is just, that is why he is allowing this to form you and He is faithful to bring all his promises to you to past. So lets us continue to have our hope be in Jesus alone as we cling to the cross in this season of our lives and honestly in every season. As we wait patiently by his grace for him to restore all that has been lost and to refine his beautiful masterpieces into the most beautiful tapestry called our lives for HIS glory!

Say”Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you”

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

 

 

But Wait Lord I Am Confused….. You Said: Trusting God Amidst Contradictions

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Psalm 37:5
 Give your way over to the Lord. Trust in Him also. And He will do it

I know many would say God doesn’t contradict himself, which is indeed very true for God is not a man that he should lie however, I have come to find out in my walk the Lord indeed allows many contradictions, many detours and many delays….why?? To not only purify our love but, grow our trust and confidence in him. Man it has been that season for me.  Being tested, pruned, tried, refined to be tested all over again. Have you ever find yourself excited writing down an amazing promise from the Lord just to find out the process was not at all what you had expected. Your first reaction is to say…..wait a minute wait a minute this is not what you told me Lord and he says ” but will you trust me through the process and believe what I said”. The Lord has a funny way of giving promises and direction without ever telling you the cost involved lol I believe he does that on purpose because if we knew the cost many of us would recoil in fear and say no. However, he gets us at a place when are hearts are open and willing to follow him anywhere and we find him ever so near when we find ourselves at a contradiction, a delay and  detours.

Many times during these “test” that come in a form of contradictions which is when the circumstance looks completely opposite from what he spoke to said or delays; when its a lot longer then you thought or you have to now wait on that promise and detour; when you find yourself veering off in another direction that you thought you were meant to go. I have come to find out in all of these circumstances it comes down to ME. What “I” thought it should look like, be or the path that “I” think would best get me there. Oh how I am learning and frequently forget its not about ME buts is all about Jesus. In these moments is when our true nature, our true murmurings of our heart come out and many times its eeky. We find ourselves frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful, complaining, discontent while the whole time the Lord is wanting to kill our nature and give us his. Which is patient, kind, makes no record of wrongs, is selfless, sacrificial and obedient.

I am reminded of people like Joseph, David, Moses, Abraham who were all given amazing promises from the Lord but, had many contradictions, detours and delays from the process to the promise (wait a minute side not that is a sermon title alright holy spirit lol) Joseph was promised to be King over all his family they would bow down to him but in the process he was thrown in prison and had various delay for 13 years until until his promise was fulfilled. David was anointed king and in the process was chased into a cave and on the run for over a year until his promise: he reigned as King, Moses was called to lead the children of Israel into the promise land and in the process had to endure with the children of Israel with their complaining for 40 years until the promise: reaching the promise land. Abraham was promised a son and in the process had to wait 10 years however became impatient had Ishmael until his promise: Issac came

So I am coming to understanding in the testing, in the breaking and in trusting God he allows contradictions, delays and detours from the process to the promise. What promise in your life has God granted you that seems to be not what you expected? That seems to be taking forever? That seems to be taking you down a direction you never imagined? Will you still trust him, that what he said he will do. (speaking to myself here lol)

Nana will you trust him and put confidence in Jesus?

My friend will you trust him?…..

-From Jesus with Love