You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

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I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

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Tasting The Bitter Cup…..When Your Sister Buys The Wrong Juice for Communion

Image result for someone making a funny face tasting a drink

Luke 22:42
“Father,” he said, “if you will, take this cup of suffering away from me. Not my will, however, but your will be done.” 

That was my face when I excitedly rushed into my room with this new and rather large jug of “juice” I had asked my sister to purchase for me to do communion. As I took my cracker thanking the Lord and taking my cup to gulp down this sweet wine, my face contorted as the juice touched my tongue. I thought to myself eeek what is this and in my knee jerk reaction I wanted to stop taking the juice but I knew I couldn’t because this was indeed Gods blood and I couldn’t reject that. At that very moment thoughts flooded my mind of the bitter cup that Jesus drank for me, for the whole world and he wanted me to have a taste of it. I had to laugh because I knew this was the doing of the Holy Spirit, he wanted me to have a real  experience in tasting the Lord’s bitter cup and his body in my communion service.  You see I had asked my sister to get me grape juice and without looking she got ” 64 Fl oz DIET cranberry -pomegranate  juice” eeek its something awful. Taste like that medicine your parents had to force every child to take in order that you feel better. However, I recognized how witty  the Holy Spirit was and smiled in that moment realizing this is the biggest communion juice I had ever purchased so I would be drinking this bitter cup for a while. Oh, brother lol

Communion is something I believe in the church can become something we do religiously taking it for granted. Many times we recite the same thing “thanking the Lord for his body and blood what was done on the cross so we may be free” forgetting  the true meaning behind Eucharist. We can forget that when we take communion we are telling the Lord I will share with you in your suffering. I too Lord will drink this bitter cup. You see when Jesus was at Gethsemane in travailing prayer for what would have to come upon him to redeem the whole world he too reconsidered, hesitated to even drinking the cup but, yielded his will to the Father for his glory and because of love. Yet many times we are eager to take communion because its the first of the month at church or to remember our sins are forgiven forgetting we too are making a commitment to suffer with the Lord in these trying times. Then when we find ourselves in trials or inconveniences, hardships, tribulation we so desperately what to get out and be delivered quickly. Many of us even get angry with the Lord regarding what he allows in our life but…did you forget you drank the cup on that first Sunday at church. By taking communion you said ” Lord I too will drink this bitter cup of whatever you allow and I declare not my will be done but yours”.

Luke 22:19-20
And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you.

The Lord ask of us to do this in remembrance of him. In remembrance of what he suffered for us the humiliation, rejection, torture, betrayal, slander/reproach, shame, heartache, loneliness, isolation, brokenness to name a few but as he gave the cup he said this is my blood which is pour out for you. How many are willing to suffer for the Lord in this way because when you take communion that is what you are telling him. I too will drink the cup. I too will be poured out as a drink offering, a living sacrifice for you Lord.  As I drink of this bitter cup and eat of your body yes, Lord  I give my entire self to you as you have given your entire self to me, not my will  but your will be done in my life.

Philippians 2:17
But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.

So the next time you take communion I would encourage you to ponder over these things just for a moment to really connect with the heart of God before you partake of his blood and you eat of his body are you willing to be one with him in that way. If so as you drink the “sweet church juice” remembering  for the joy set before him he endured his cross and how sweet that is for us all who would call upon him. So for the joy set before you endure patiently whatever trial that he allows joining your suffering to his knowing that he will restore every bitter moment in your life into sweet joy!

-From Jesus with Love