The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

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It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going  fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around.  One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had  she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught  the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness.   I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if  Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you  know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well.  Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love

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Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

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Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love

People Are A Gift From God!

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One day a few weeks I went and a walk with the Lord just talking to him about some recent situations I went though where I was hurt by someone I cared about. I continued speaking to him about my past wounds from others and He said “They are all gift to you, every person I have brought in your life is a gift to you. Whether they have been good to you or not they are all my precious gifts to you” I was flabbergasted to say the least but the Holy spirit began to give me a deeper understanding of what he was saying. Those in my life who have hurt me have caused me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and even bare much fruit for him. So many times and just in our society we discount people, we hold sometimes okay let me be honest, in our generation we hold material things, class, status, even animals at a greater esteem then people. However, that is so backwards because in all of creation were the only ones  created in Gods image and he made us just a little lower then the angels:

Hebrew 2:6-7
What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor

You see the Lord has chosen man as his dwelling place. Not a temple, not a building, not a location, not a mountain, not even the sky but he has chosen his son’s and daughters to indwell within then by the Holy Spirit. So when we love on people we don’t just love on them but we love on God!

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

At that time of this conversation I was pouring out my heart to the Lord telling him of the pain of being accused, slandered and talked against. I began to compare my walk with him to others around me. Complaining that my walk seemed so much more difficult and he said its because of your calling….(which I still don’t know by the way, don’t you love when he continues to leave you hanging but still yearning for more of him lol). The Holy spirit then put this on my heart that when we measure and compare our suffering based on what others go through rather than what Christ went through for us then that could lead us into depression, resentment, bitterns and even unforgiveness. Furthermore, if the measure of Gods glory and favor on our lives becomes based on comparing ourselves to others than it can easily lead to pride. Looking down on others and even thinking you’re more spiritual mature but, the only measure in all things should be and is Jesus Christ, his glory and his suffering. Neither of these can compare to man’s suffering or glory we go partake in on the earth. So my little measly suffering I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the on the cross for me…..so to say the least that shut me up real quick lol but, it was such a beautiful revelation.

He went on to say that people indeed are the greatest gifts on this earth and that did I forget that he uses ALL things for my good.  He uses people to fulfill his purpose upon the earth and even in our lives. Every person he has brought in my life has made me better. He has brought people in my life to encourage me, to propel me when I felt like I couldn’t go forward. He brought people in my life to love me to show me what his heart looks like in order that I may began to love also. Then he has brought people in my life to teach me lessons, to allow the uglies in my own heart to be brought to the light so that may repent and have a pure heart. He has brought people in my life who have hurt me which allows me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and bare much fruit for him. So that’s why this person and all people are a gift good or bad.

I would like to share two vision one from a pastor and the other from a man who went to heaven. The pastor stated the Lord gave him a vision one day of  being taking to this art gallery and he saw a huge monument  of a man beautifully chiseled from head to toe. This man looked exquisite almost out of this world he was in awe when he saw it and asked Jesus who is this man? and Jesus said “its you”. He was in speechless, then Jesus asked would you like to see the two man who created this masterpiece he said yes…and the Lord took him to the other side of the monument and he was in complete shock. There were two men he recognized very well. He actually had despised them for a time because they were two critics of his ministry. They came to church every Sunday, sat on the front row for years and wrote many articles to tear down his ministry however, the Lord told him to continue to love on them and forgive them. Jesus stated that he used them to bring out much fruit and virtue in him so in fact they brought the best out in him. Isn’t that amazing! The second vision was a man who went to heaven and he stated that the greatest attribute in heaven will not be the knowledge you gain, the things you see or have access too but it will be the citizens of heaven. Each person is like heaven, for they radiate the purest love and joy that you will ever encounter…haha isn’t that wonderful, each person is like heaven itself that makes me smile!

So if we would then began to see people as gifts as they are, if we see children as the greatest gift then we would no longer abort or even consider abortion. If we see family and friends as gifts, if we would see strangers as gifts, if we would see especially those who hurt as the greatest gifts because the Lord uses ALL things for his glory. If you give him the pain, the memory and see from his perspective he will use that person to chisel the most beautiful heart you will ever see….it will be Gods heart now in yours then all you will know how to do is to love everyone despite what they do because they are gift to you, being used to refine, purify and create the purest heart in you. So you can be all that God has called you to be!

Love waits patiently for God’s timing. Love is gentle and shows kindness to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect; nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love finds delight in the truth, not in what is wrong. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things—and still remains strong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation