When Your Walking In “The Valley of The Shadow Of Death”….Keep Walking

Image result for Walking through the valleyPsalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

 

A quick word of encouragement!

The Lord put in on my heart during prayer that many may be going thru what you call ” a valley of the shadow of death” but remember that first your in a valley where many think the mountain top is where you want to be. But it is in the valley where the Lords graces flow for just like water in a river it flows in the lowest of places. Secondly, the enemy is taunting you with shadows of death…death to your health, your name, your family, your marriage, finances, your children, a promise God gave you, your destiny but we must remember its “shadows” . The enemy would love for us to think that its real but all he knows to do is create smoke screens and magnify shadows which always appear bigger than the image its reflecting. So saints began to be encouraged, praise God in the valley because his grace is so abundance in your weakness, and shine a light on that shadow by declaring God word his promise over that situation that looks dead and continue walking….walking with Jesus. The enemy would love to have you stop walking or even turn around in this valley. NO, continue walking knowing that God is with you and he in fact led you in this valley for a purpose knowing that all things good and bad are allowed by the hand of God and he indeed will use it for your good and bring songs of joy in due time. 
-From Jesus with Love

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But Wait Lord I Am Confused….. You Said: Trusting God Amidst Contradictions

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Psalm 37:5
 Give your way over to the Lord. Trust in Him also. And He will do it

I know many would say God doesn’t contradict himself, which is indeed very true for God is not a man that he should lie however, I have come to find out in my walk the Lord indeed allows many contradictions, many detours and many delays….why?? To not only purify our love but, grow our trust and confidence in him. Man it has been that season for me.  Being tested, pruned, tried, refined to be tested all over again. Have you ever find yourself excited writing down an amazing promise from the Lord just to find out the process was not at all what you had expected. Your first reaction is to say…..wait a minute wait a minute this is not what you told me Lord and he says ” but will you trust me through the process and believe what I said”. The Lord has a funny way of giving promises and direction without ever telling you the cost involved lol I believe he does that on purpose because if we knew the cost many of us would recoil in fear and say no. However, he gets us at a place when are hearts are open and willing to follow him anywhere and we find him ever so near when we find ourselves at a contradiction, a delay and  detours.

Many times during these “test” that come in a form of contradictions which is when the circumstance looks completely opposite from what he spoke to said or delays; when its a lot longer then you thought or you have to now wait on that promise and detour; when you find yourself veering off in another direction that you thought you were meant to go. I have come to find out in all of these circumstances it comes down to ME. What “I” thought it should look like, be or the path that “I” think would best get me there. Oh how I am learning and frequently forget its not about ME buts is all about Jesus. In these moments is when our true nature, our true murmurings of our heart come out and many times its eeky. We find ourselves frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful, complaining, discontent while the whole time the Lord is wanting to kill our nature and give us his. Which is patient, kind, makes no record of wrongs, is selfless, sacrificial and obedient.

I am reminded of people like Joseph, David, Moses, Abraham who were all given amazing promises from the Lord but, had many contradictions, detours and delays from the process to the promise (wait a minute side not that is a sermon title alright holy spirit lol) Joseph was promised to be King over all his family they would bow down to him but in the process he was thrown in prison and had various delay for 13 years until until his promise was fulfilled. David was anointed king and in the process was chased into a cave and on the run for over a year until his promise: he reigned as King, Moses was called to lead the children of Israel into the promise land and in the process had to endure with the children of Israel with their complaining for 40 years until the promise: reaching the promise land. Abraham was promised a son and in the process had to wait 10 years however became impatient had Ishmael until his promise: Issac came

So I am coming to understanding in the testing, in the breaking and in trusting God he allows contradictions, delays and detours from the process to the promise. What promise in your life has God granted you that seems to be not what you expected? That seems to be taking forever? That seems to be taking you down a direction you never imagined? Will you still trust him, that what he said he will do. (speaking to myself here lol)

Nana will you trust him and put confidence in Jesus?

My friend will you trust him?…..

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

,unashamed

 

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love

A Dance With My Father On This Valentines Day

dance with my father

Last night the Lord called me into prayer, well actually the pass two nights he has called me to himself. To drop everything I am doing and come into his presence to spend time with him because he needed my comfort, my worship and my love. However,  yesterday was quite different because instead of me dancing with Jesus I just felt the presence of the Father, of Abba. I imagined myself in this beautiful yellow dress, my hair was curly with a red rose in my hair.  As I began to dance in my Fathers arms, I was so overwhelmed by his gentleness, his love and more so his need for me.  God needs us, he truly does each of us are so unique in our creation from head to toe. In all the world there is not one like us therefore the is no one who can take the place of our presence, of our worship and of our love. There is a specif place in the heart of God for each of us and he misses us when we are not there.

You know in this season of my life I am coming to really cultivate and trust the person of the Abba Father. I know that sounds weird right  lol I have been waling with Jesus for 3 years now and I remember the first year just falling madly in love with Jesus asking to know him more and he has definitely answered my prayer. I am still getting to know him even now, then the second year my prayer was Holy Spirit I want to know you, trust in you learn how to relay on you as my teacher. So I came to love and trust the person of the Holy Spirit. However, it  didn’t hit me until last year when the Lord gave me the word “Child Like Trust” did I realize that I didn’t really know God the Father and I had deep father wounds of abandonment as well. Wow he opened my heart up this last year and uprooting somethings I didn’t even know were their. Then he came in and has scooped me up on his lap to just pour out his love and heart on me. As we were dancing I began to cry because he was telling me how many have him so wrong especially his daughters. Many have been heart, abandoned, rejected even abused by their physical fathers and though they may love him through his son Jesus many don’t know him or more importantly know his heart for them. He is not a Father who is critical, judging, demeaning or more importantly he is not a father who will ever forget them, neglect, abandon and reject them.

As we continued to dance Abba Father in the spirit  He put his head on my forehead and this most gentle loving way and said ” You are your Fathers Daughter” I was taking back by those words and tears began to flow. He continued on saying ” You have so much of me in you, you know that strong willed nature, you get it from me” as he touched my nose with his finger.  How many times have we had wrong labels we have received from our own Fathers, or bad characteristic people associate us with connected to our Fathers. So him saying those words were so freeing for me. I thought to myself ….you u know what WOW, I AM MY FATHERS DAUGHTER, Abba Father!

So I just want to encourage you that is how God sees you, beloved.  Look in the mirror, you see that smile, that nose, that chipped tooth, that dimple, your hair, skin color, height, the way you laugh, your strong personality, your introvert ways, your bright creativity, your logic mind, and so much more. He created you perfectly and even if your earthly Father never treated you well, or wasnt really there physically or emotionally, or spoke negative words over you. My beautiful brother/sister you are your Fathers Child, you are created in his image and he soooo desires to take you away from this mundane world into his. Which is heavenly and filled with love, a supernatural love in which you were created from.  So on this valentines day No longer pursue the love that only your Abba Father can give in men or in a women. Avail yourself to him today in worship, Abba Father is inviting you right now to dance with him. In the most exclusive Daddy and Daughter Dance will you say yes? Close your eyes and you will be surprised how God is so desperately waiting to Dance with you, his beautiful daughter today and lavish his love over you!

 

So I am having Date Night With the Lover of my soul again tonight, for our 3rd year anniversary to dance the night away with my Valentine in worship and Praise!!!

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(1st year’s Date Night 2.14.15 where it all began <3_

 

Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.[a]
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Learning To Babysit With Jesus

 

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      “Each Of Them Is Jesus In Disguise”- Mother Teresa

I love that quote from above because in fact that what the Lord has been teaching me as  I am babysitting my three nieces and nephews for the past few months. I found myself feeding my beautiful nieces Elly who is 8 months, and in my heart frustrated at my circumstances and honestly resenting the fact that I seem to have no time to “work on MY stuff”.  Which is alot of ministry work I do online and as this fleeting thought crossed my mind as I was feeding her the bottle as the Lord gently interrupted my thoughts to say, “Look at her, every time you feed her your feeding me. Your holding baby Jesus”. I began to recognizes how foolish I had been these past few months. I thought about how our savior came as a baby himself and I don’t know if Mary ever had someone watch Jesus who knows. lol Maybe her cousin Rachel and imagine her being frustrated because she had better things to do thank watch Jesus. Sounds so silly but all of these thoughts came to my mind at that moment and I found myself repenting before the Lord.

These few months he indeed has been revealing how impatience I am and can be easily angered by children nonetheless. What is so sad is that I loooove children…honestly I really do lol I know that is part of my ministry. I would love to help and love on orphaned kids. However, how can I show unconditional love, patience and grace to broken, abused orphaned kids and not to my own nieces (slap to the face) Lord help me lol. So when the Lord called me back to my moms house a few months ago I just didn’t understand. Then having me work a full time job to being released from that job to now babysitting full time 3 beautiful, firecracker girls everyday has been quite of an adjustment for sure. The Lord gave me this rhema when I asked why he called me back home.

                                                  “Charity begins at home
                                                                     Love
                                                Love until it hurts that is how Jesus loved”

Which has been becoming a reality ever day as the days pass on. I can get so anxious about my situation at times thinking Lord when, again, when again seems like I am always waiting. Now recognizing  I am still waiting because it seems I still have A LOT to learn and dying to self. You see a couple months ago I got a job marketing an online ministry which I was so excited about. Besides that I have this blog to write weekly, Thinking that watching my nieces is not “ministry work” so I would hurriedly get one ready for school, feed the others and anxiously rush to get to work online. I found myself being easily irritated or impatience when I would be interrupted ( now I am like Nana they are kids for goodness sakes that’s what they do best smh).

I found the Lord chastising me in my alone time with my lack of patience and my frustration concerning my circumstance rather than thanking him. He began to remind me once again, that He is right here with me and I am doing none of this alone unless I wanted too. So I should see him on the couch with me when I watch them play, changing the diapers with me, fixing their bottles with me in the kitchen, just so ever present with me through it all. Not only that but to see him in each of my nieces. That in Elly (10 month) I get to witness baby Jesus growing up before my eyes, that in my (3 year old) niece I get too see Toddler Jesus growing up and my (4 yearold) niece Zay Zay I get to take care of a paralysis Jesus. He indeed is in each of them, so as I serve by nieces I am serving Jesus! One day sometime last week he told me to leave my work and enter into child like grace by playing with the kids for an hour. Oh how refreshing it was! So I am learning even in the waiting the most important thing is not the destination, or even what you do but that you recognize that HE is with you. Furthermore he loves to be invited in your day in the most minimalist task to not only be with you but DO it all with you.  So will you invite Jesus to DO “it” with you you? Whatever that “it” maybe , why not let “it’ be EVERYTHING you do….do it with JESUS!

 

zay

(Firecracker #1 Zay Zay)

 

noms

(Firecracer #2 Naomi )

 

elly

(Firecracker #3 Elly Noel 10 months)

Matthew 25:45
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

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Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love

Crosses Are The Greatest Gift God Has Given To His Creation

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(my first painting “THE PASSION” with the Holy Spirit)

That was a rhema the Lord  gave a few days ago and I began to ask how can crosses, how can suffering be a gift? You know this is a really hard time and season for a lot of believers because of all that is going on in the world. The Lord has spread out his splinters from his cross and given each person a designer cross. In order to carry for lost souls and the world. Suffering is a topic not really popular in the church now a days or not really mentioned pertaining to Christians but we must understand and I have come to learn is that

A rhema
“The greater the suffering , the greater intimacy and understanding”

That seems so backwards doesn’t it but its so true. Moses met God in the burning bush after tending sheep for 40 years, Joseph cultivated a character of righteousness in his 13 years in prison, In the several years running for his life in the caves of Israel David could hear the voice of the Lord having his heart not to kill his enemy Saul, and of course a man who wrote the third of the bible given to him by the Holy spirit majority of it being written when he was prison. John the disciple wrote all of revelation in prison as well. Truly the more you suffer the more you look more like our bridegroom and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Lord spoke to me about three weeks ago to pain his passion. Mind you I have never painted before but with the help of he Holy Spirit sidenote: He is able to do anything lol I have been able to do it with his assistance. The Lord wanted me to paint his true suffering many times we see movies that depict not any harsh torturous treatment but we have no idea how our Jesus suffered. If we did we would realize how precious his gift was and definitely wouldn’t complain about the tiny…tiny…tiny crosses we have to carry.

The Lord gave a vision to a young nun called St. Mary Magdalen of Sancta Clara Order, Franciscan where the Lord revealed the 15 secret tortures of Jesus.

They fastened My feet with a rope and dragged Me over the stepping stones of the staircase, down into a filthy, nauseating cellar.

2. They took off My clothing and stung My body with iron joints.

3. They attached a rope around My body and pulled Me on the ground from end to end.

4. They hanged Me on a wooden piece with a slip knot until I slipped out and fell down. Overwhelmed by this torture, I wept bloody tears.

5. They tied Me to a post and pierced My body with various arms.

6. They struck Me with stones and burnt Me with blazing embers and torches.

7. They pierced Me with awls; sharp spears tore My skin, flesh and arteries out of My body.

8. They tied Me to a post and made Me stand barefoot on an incandescent metal sheet.

9. They crowned Me with an iron crown and wrapped My eyes with the dirtiest possible rags.

10. They made Me sit on a chair covered with sharp pointed nails, causing deep wounds in My body.

11. They poured on My wounds liquid lead and resin and, after this torture, they pressed Me on the nailed chair so that the nails went deeper and deeper into My flesh.

12. For shame and affliction, they drove needles into the holes of My uprooted beard. They tied my hands behind My back and led Me walking out of prison with strikes and blows.

13. They threw Me upon a cross and attached Me so tightly that I could hardly breathe anymore.

14. They threw at My head as I lay on the earth, and they stepped on Me, hurting My breast. Then, taking a thorn from My crown, they drove it into My tongue.

15. They poured into My mouth the most immodest excretions, as they uttered the most infamous expressions about Me.

Then, Jesus added,
“My daughter, I desire that you let everybody know the Fifteen Secret Tortures in order that everyone of them be honored.”
“Anyone who daily offers Me, with love, one of these sufferings and says with fervor the following prayer, will be rewarded with eternal glory on the day of judgement.”

2 Timothy 2:12
If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:

As Christians were called to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Jesus. So suffering is inevitable as a true disciple of Jesus Christ until he restores this earth in righteousness. Now we are in turbulent times and the Lords desire that we would carry our crosses ( annoyances, inconveniences, sicknesses, trials) without complaining for the world. So that he may use it to draw souls into the kingdom in these last final hours.

-From Jesus With Love

 

Tending the Sheep: God’s Preparation and Process

sheep

1 Samuel 16:13, 17
13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah. …….
17 So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me a man who can play well and bring him to me.” 18 One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.” 19 Therefore Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me David your son, who is with the sheep.” 20

 

This past Tuesday we had our young adults service where the pastor talked about insecure and secure leaders. She made stark comparisons between the leadership of Saul and David. There was one thing that really struck my heart, that after David being anointed king he immediately went back to doing what he was doing…tending the sheep. Then later was summoned to serving the reigned King Saul. He immediate wasn’t placed on the throne, He never showed any impatience about Gods timing , He didn’t feel that tending the sheep was beneath him now that he had been anointed king. To be frank he didn’t allow his new found title or anointing to cause him to despise returning to his humble beginnings. David trusted God in the preparation and the process. There is a lot I can learn from David.

I found myself waking up last week feeling discouraged and impatience about my situation. Remembering the promises of God and what he has called me too I began to be frustrated still staying at my moms house and now babysitting all day. Finding myself struggling to be a good steward of my time and being able to get any work done for the Lord because of watching the kids. I began to feel like this was all that there was  because at the end of last year I found myself in the same predicament helping my other sister out by taking her to work@5 am, taking the kids to school by am and baby sitting them after-school. It was rough as I found myself grumbling and complaining in discontentment asking the Lord when….when will I do what you have called me too. Then He said

“Stop complaining I am preparing you for marriage”

I was like waaaaa lol, okay Jesus. The interesting thing is I have a heart for children and I know I am called to them. One prophecy I received is that I am called to missions and my life will be a testimony to children. I always had it in my mind to raise a lot of kids or even a orphanage. So I should’ve known that the Lord was preparing me with children ministry 101 with my nieces and nephews. Every step in this journey has been preparation. The Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance what was said at our young adults service about King David this week when I woke wanting to sit in my discouragement and discontentment. Nana, you are just now in your sheep field as David was that doesn’t take away your anointing, doesn’t take away the calling upon your life or my presence. As David went back o the sheep field after being anointed to be prepared some more so do I train my servants the same way who are called to a high calling. Find your confidence, security and trust in me and me alone not what you are doing. Don’t become impatience but trust in the field is where you are being trained. At your mom’s house is where you are being trained to “love until it hearts, for charity begins at home”, where you learn to put children before ministry, where you learn how to be patience with he little ones and teach them about me, where you learn how to manage your time and multi-task, where I am preparing you for motherhood, where you learn humility and total reliance on me. Trust MY preparation and MY process, when you do that I am forced to continuously give you more graces to do what I have called you to do.

So have you found yourself excited, called and anointed by God for a task but you find yourself going back….back too your sheep field (whatever that may look like). Back the the place of humble beginnings and it looks like you have gone backwards then forwards? Well, praise God lol Don’t get discouraged, impatience, or discontent but began to first see the lesson he wants you to learn in your sheep field and most importantly trust the preparation and process being secure that the Lord our God is faithful to finish and complete what he has started!

-From Jesus with Love

When Your Pregnant But No One Notices

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So how can one be pregnant carrying something in their womb but no one notices? That’s what you call spiritual pregnancy. You see every person was sent on this earth with Gods seed of light in them. Carrying a mission and a DNA in them that they only can uniquely accomplish which is called a destiny.  Many unfortunately never birth what God created them for out of fear,  laziness, comfortability, distraction, pride,  etc and many more down right reject Jesus…. the only one who is able to birth the missions into completion.  As a believer its important we are aware of this. You are carrying a seed of heaven within you that is meant to impact not only the world but, eternity. You must first recognize that your carrying something to ensure you don’t abort it.

Psalm 22:9-10
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. 
 From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

 

First Trimester- the most critical (don’t turn back to the world)

So this is the month of conception when you finally say yes to Jesus to surrender all to him and make Lord of your life. The Holy Spirit comes dwell within you and bring life to the seed God has placed in you.

  • THE BREAKING
  • This was a time for me of excitement I knew I was called by the Lord but, wasnt sure for what or how he would use me.  In excitement I told everyone thinking they would be excited too but realized very quickly spiritual pregnancy is not at all like physical pregnancy. Not everyone will be happy for you or even understand lol It’s okay because the conception was between you and the holy spirit. He actually is very private and loves to work behind the scenes so trust him.
  • In this trimester there is no number to how long the season will be. So you have to trust even when you don’t see anything growing. You must’n be moved by what people say or seek peoples validation it could cause you to turn back to the world.
  • Just as you would in your a physical pregnancy you have to change attitudes and create healthy habits for the baby. That’s the same with a spiritual pregnancy in this season. There will be a lot of opposition and spiritual warfare that will tempt you to give up. Don’t fall for it! You have to began some healthy habits of prayer, seeking the Lord, purity of eye, mind and body. So the Holy spirit can dwell in you fully now that your heart has become his home. So press on family you have something to birth!

 

Second Trimester-Growing in the things of the Lord

  • THE TESTING & PRUNING
  • People began to see something is different about you, a “glow” of course the LIGHT OF CHRIST IN YOU!
  • Once you pass the first trimester season it doesn’t get any easier necessarily but you do gain more trust in God and his promises. In this season you began to see some growth, some fruit showing in your life. Your growing in virtue as the Lord continues to test and prune you.
  • The only way you can grow is through testing and trials. Don’t be discouraged the more trials you face are opportunities for accelerated maturity in Christ.
  • In this season I began to grow in my faith as Jesus began to answer prayers. He just left me in awe of him. I began to be sure of my identity in Christ not by what he did through me or even what others said but by His words. I knew I was carrying something in me and was excited to see what God had planned.’ In this season i really learned about suffering and laying down my life for the Lord in order for him to trust me with the gift that is inside of me.
  • I realized in this season Jesus began to trust me! He trusted me with revelation, secret of his heart and direction. He would ask of me to do things for him to see if I would be obedient and faithful in the small things. So press on family you have something to birth!

 

Third Trimester-Birth pains (persevere don’t give up, don’t abort)

  • THE BREAKING, THE TESTING, THE PRUNING, THE WORKING, THE SUFFERING, & DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN lol
  • Don’t complain began to praise God for what he is about to birth in you. Let your faith arise in expectancy for what your hoping for even if you don’t see!
  • In this trimester/season people can testify of the work God is doing in you and even the vision God has but, many wont understand the process….I tell you too preserver. Don’t give in to people’s criticism or praise for it will be to your ruin. Unshakable faith is looking only for praise and or correction of God alone. He alone has a just viewpoint of your heart and knows your motive.
  • In this season God will continue to break you in areas you thought you were strengthen, test you further by stretching you, prune more layers in your heart, allow you to suffer in various ways all while doing work for him. In order to see if you truly desire to live for him and him alone.
  • You may have a vision or a knowing of the mission the Lord has within you but all the pieces haven’t come together yet. However, you see his footprints in the different steps he has taken you on to get you prepared and ready.
  • I am in that season now and I believe its the most critical because so much going on around you spiritually for the birth of what God has in you. Many times the Lord will put you on bed rest (a waiting period, where you have to endure patiently until the mission is ready to be birth) In this period is where you will get opinions from everyone else about what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Many people questioning your walk or vision with the Lord because they don’t see the “baby” but you must preserver. Trust in what God has spoken to you and know that this is a vital time to listen and walk closely with Jesus. To preserver in obedience to him and him alone. One wrong choice could cause you delay and leave you murmuring on in the wilderness until death like the Israelites. So endure patiently family something great is about to birth in you for his glory!!!

 

Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart

-From Jesus with Love

Losing My Job To Work For Jesus

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I keep hearing this statement from others “Your one of the busiest people I know with no job”and I realize how very true that is lol. I am working, just working for Jesus now. When I was let go from my job 8 months ago I had no idea what the Lord had ins tore for me. First going through all different emotions of confusion, anxiety, fear and excitement all at the same time. I remember my co-worker saying “don’t worry Nana, don’t look at this as a demotion but a promotion from the Lord”. I just knew the Lord was releasing me into my calling….which is to work for him not at all what I thought it would look like. As I walk with the Lord I am learning I don’t come anywhere close to having him figured out because many times even what he tells me to do doesn’t turn out like I expect. However, working for Jesus is the best retirement, savings, 401K, insurance anyone can ever have!

1 Corinthians 15: 58
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

MY WORK:
I have come to realize that when you work diligently for the Lord and his kingdom you will be criticized or judged. Don’t be surprised by that. Many times I have statements with people thinking I am striving, performing, religious for the Lord or being legalistic lol. However, my passion & my diligence all come from my love I have for Jesus and sense of urgency. As believers we must understand the times we are living in and the time is so short, JESUS IS COMING and we need to be about the Lords business. The enemy is so good at getting many believers right now distracted about petty frivolous things that will bare no fruit in the kingdom. Even when I was working, the Lord would lead me ever so gently to stay up and do vidoes for him on “his” youtube channel even if it was going on 1 am saying ” work whiles there is still daylight (john 9:4)” He would wake me up in the middle of the night to pray.  He would lead me too began a blog and to be diligent about it no matter what. Then at some point had me going out to evangelizing from 3-6 everyday working for him. He now has me leading a small group in our churches young adults ministry, overseeing volunteers at my church, leading monthly outreaches, teaching on youtube, blogging, and most recently taking up piano and sketching! I love it all! Yes, there have been many times I have been weary, discouraged, honestly sometimes even sick and Jesus would so sweetly say to me ” My grace is sufficient for you, if you will do it I will provide more grace to complete it”. He did every time, it would amaze me and in those moments I came to see not only how Gods grace works but, appreciate it all that the more. I began to cultivate a closer relationship with the Holy Spirit, realizing how its Him who does all the work through us all the time. I know work to build up the Kingdom of God in every way possible, my time and my life is not my own anymore. So what work has God called you too and you have been making excuses, been scared or have been delaying, or just down right disobedient? I want to encourage you…..GET TO WORK…we need you in the kingdom!

MY PROVISION:
Wow, if that is one thing the Lord has been teaching me this year is trusting him with my finances and provision. I don’t think I ever have and I can’t say I have complete trust yet however, I know this is a soft spot for many believers. Oh, if we would all just trust him the enemy would no longer have a foot hold on many who are at jobs, places, destinations they were never intended for but they stay for security, convenience or for status. GOD WILL PROVIDE. Once losing my job I was unemployment for 6 months and the Lord kept telling me to trust him with provision to continue working for him and not to look for a job. He finally spoke to me about a job but it didn’t come thru (hence don’t have him figured out lol) .Then a week before my unemployment is about to run out I get a call from my former employer that I have a 401k that I am able to cash out….I was like waaa lol. It came right on time, then of course fear masquerading as “caution” that I need to be wise I can just use that money I should save it but I have come to know in the economy of God. Its all about giving away, sowing, giving until it hurts then the Lord will bring the increase. So I trusted the Lord cashed it out and began sowing in the kingdom in anyway I could trusting that I would sow all that I reaped. Sure enough with my funds getting low again. I got a call from a friend stating they had scholarship money from school and the Lord put me on their heart to sow into what He was doing. I was like, #HUSHJESUSHUSH yet again Lord you came thru!

I am not “vocationally working” for anyone. I have no car or any job prospects. In the eyes of many I may look like lost potential, a bum or even out of my mind lol but, I am working for Jesus. Investing all that I have in the Economy of the Kingdom which will never fail or crash. Trusting and knowing that my return will far out way my investment.  Seek HIS kingdom in all things and everything….I mean everything will be added unto. I am working every so diligently hear on this earth living for eternity. Will you too?

 

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

-From Jesus with Love