Gave Up My Life To Jesus

It is only the Lord who could’ve done this and continues to write this amazing story as I am no longer a bystander but I stand back in awe as His story through me continues to unfold before my eyes. As he led me to leave the world and follow him to NM. He has given me the desire of my heart. HIMSELF!! To officially become his Bride in a deeper walk of faith and commitment as I took my relgious vows and professed my vocation as a Franciscan Sister, Third Order. ( I will do a video about that later on what that entails) I am so humbled to share this journey and wedding ceremony with you all. In worship 2 days ago the Lord played a song from Lecrea ” Tell the World” and the lyrics say ” Ima tell the world ,tell the world I am brand new” So I am! lol A. LOL As Fransician sister my life will be living out the gospel, in intimacy with Jesus and holy life with him. As I have taken life vows of poverty, obedience, chasity (faithfulness to God), substantial prayer, substantial solitude. I pray this will be an invitation for many as I know there will be many more who will come after me. For this narrow road is available to anyone desiring to walk in holiness, truly die to themselves, completely to their past, their flesh and be completely crucified with Christ. To become a new creation in Christ and that is what I have become. The former things have passed away and behold the new has come. No longer Nana but now Mother Mary Elisha given to me by the Lord (mother of souls.) I am so humbled and eternally grateful to the Lord and his tender mercies and graces that got me here. All glory to Him!!. This is Part 1 and will be posting Part 2 tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers God bless and love you guys!

-From Jesus With Love

 

Star Gazing With Jesus

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It was another night in Taos, New Mexico now going to sleep at a new location, in a new bed, at a new place. The adjustment hasn’t been easy to say the least but, the Lord has been so merciful and gracious. Upon arriving I stopped hearing him like I usually would and also in fear of being deceived like I had been previously in my former blog post https://myheartoverflowing.com/2019/05/30/how-the-lord-delivered-me-from-a-religious-spirit-because-of-delayed-obedience/ .I had a great fall and was working my way back slowly to trusting again to hear from the Lord. The Lord was so sweet as I got here after my prayers I was thinking in my heart Lord will you restore our relationship again.  I heard in my heart “pull a rhema card”. These were the infamous rhemas Mother lare had talked about on her channel and had caused me to began my own rhema box. Which her just simply prophetic words from the Lord on index cards about 1,000 of them. So I did as the Holy spirit instructed and pulled a card and it said ” I will restore our relationship and the graces that were lost” I was like wow! If he doesn’t read your mail using those rhemas man. It encouraged me greatly.

 

However, as the days went on I found myself struggling with so much emotional torment of loneliness and hopelessness. Now away from my loved ones and having losing everyone to come here I wasn’t on the mountain yet but staying with Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel in their home. As we were in preparation in getting the Holy Prayer Mountain ready to make it livable for all who came. I was the first to arrive among everyone so I found my nights long and many times prayers drowned in tears asking the Lord for strength admits the assailment of the enemies lies and doubts that stormed my mind at times. It was even more difficult sensing the Lord but not really hearing from him so many times I found myself just going thru the emotions. Then one night after prayer I decided to get another rhema using the website link instead https://www.heartdwellers.org/rhema-page.html then it said

” Take a walk with me”

I usually love this rhema because I loooove talking a walk with Jesus its like an adventure every time I listened to this prompting when I received it. However, I was at a new place and it was 10:31pm at night…dark. Now, that still didn’t surprise me because when I was at my home in Texas there were times I got this rhema at 11pm at night once and it was cold, plus I didn’t have my glasses on. However, I obeyed and thought Lord what are you up too, he had me walk around with him didn’t say anything but I felt prompted to pray for my neighborhood. This time around however, having been deceived recently of a lying spirit I went to a “bible promises book” for discernment. I thought to ask Mother Clare or Father Ezekiel if it was okay to go outside but I thought let me ask holy spirit if this was the Lord and he gave me scriptures under the subject of “Marriage” . When I get that the Lord is addressing my spousal relationship with him as his bride so I knew it was the Lord but I was still a little hesitant.

You see at there house they have a pasture with a low loose wire fence that stops at the end of their back. Then you can easily cross over into the pasture there was a specific tree I was always pulled to when I felt down or to go and pray. So I felt the Lord was telling me to go to the tree and it was utterly dark, no lights at all. So I thought to myself “whew” okay Nana be brave. I just had the Lords supper so I had a monstrance with the Lord body inside and my phone as a flash light. I then began to put my shoes on and courageous slide the doors to the sun room and walked into the backyard which over looked the ever so dark vast pasture over looking the mountains. I crossed over the fence and mentioned for my guardian angel to escort me as well as I began to walk in this vast dark field repeatedly saying “Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you Jesus I trust in you”. Just then I arrived at the tree. Thinking to myself okay Jesus I am here what did you bring me out here for???….and all I heard was silence.

Then I felt prompted to look up and I was in UTTER AWE!! The Taos night sky was filled with a billion stars and a crisp beautiful clear sky filled with a billion shinning stars. My mouth dropped wide open in amazement at the beauty then at the love of God. I was flabbergasted that Jesus would have me in mind first off then not only that get me up in the middle of the night just to stargaze with him waaaa!! Yes our God does stuff like that he is so freaking romantic!! lol I said “hush Jesus hush” really you would have me come out here just to look at the stars with you…your so romantic and sweet Lord! I stood there just staring at the vastness of Gods glory and the beauty of his workmanship.

I then began to remember the scriptures which came to my mind when the Lord spoke to Abraham

Genesis 15:5

He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars–if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

I felt the Lord reminding me that promise was for me too as I had come to this place in obedience following him and another scripture came to my mind that “he knows the stars by name, that HE knew me by name before the foundation of the earth.

Psalm 147:7
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Just then my phone came across my hands and I didn’t realize how bright the flashlight was on my phone until the shadow of my hand covered entire trees. Something similar to the picture below but not quite lol

 

 

 

As I ran my what seemed to be now my GOD SIZED hand across the vast pasture, upon each tree then on mountain then the sky. As they all seemed to fit in the palm of my now GOD SIZED HAND. I began to feel the Lord speak to my heart as he reminded me that all of creation was in the palm of his hand.  The trees where in the palm of his hands, the mountain where in the palm of his hands and I too am in the palm of his hands. That I had absolutely nothing to worry that he indeed was with him and holding me thru this all. I was amazed and in all at the Lords mercy towards me and his loving kindness that continued to uphold me. I walked back with him after a few minutes of  star gazing with  my beloved, admiring his creation and how He just wanted to be with me to stargaze. So next time you take a walk be reminded he is right there next to you and take some time to smell the roses literally, or for a fluttering butterfly or a heart shaped cloud and look up in the night sky as you watch the starts go by with your beloved Jesus. Knowing that you he knows your name and He has YOU in the palm of your hands!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

To The Mountains We Go: Sacred Heart Refuge

 

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“This is going to be an international community that will come and go and stay small and intimate. They come to catch the Fire, then return to their own countries with Me to light a fire in their homeland”
– Jesus
(Still Small Voice: Messages An International Community)

I have been gone for a bit , okay a long while lol Due to a new change in direction for me. After waiting and waiting for so long the Lord has directed my feet to Taos, New Mexico to be apart of a praying community. This was truly a suprise to me when the Lord called me and wanted me to leave immeaditley. You see I now look back and recognizing he had been forming me a while for this. My walk with him began to get a lot more narrower with him during the end of March going into lent. Where I noticed he began to pull me away from public ministry and even stop me doing the outreaches I do once a month. At first I contended …as I always do then I began to yield still not understanding why or what he was doing. Then during lent he really began to have me pull away from the world altogether and not allowing me to go out even to ministry events but to only stay at his feet in prayer day and night. So after about a month an a half of this I began to get “cabin fever” I realized okay Lord your sanctifying me for sure in preparation for this next season.  Which I had my own plans about but I am learning to stop having expectations and plans with Jesus it never works out, you think I would’ve learned by now lol but nope so this all came at a surprise.

When in the beginning of May on Still Small Voice Channel, which is a ministry I am apart of and the ministry that has helped me to grow in intimacy with the Lord and even began this blog the Lord began to call out to those he had “chosen” to come to a refuge on a mountain. To leave the world and live a life of solitude and prayer with him for a time. Now upon me seeing the title I was immeaditly and utterly repulsed and I am being serious! I had been in doors for so long I was ready to get out! I was ready for the Lord to give me the green light or show me what he was preparing me for and I was sure it was going to be so exciting not deeper place into more prayer and solitude lol. I know I sound so terrible for being honest but I must be to show the grace and mercy of God. I found myself again feeling the calling strongly and recognizing that is what he was molding me for but I didn’t want it all. Has anyone struggled with surrender like me?

In the prophetic message he had made it clear that we were previlaged for this and many of us he was calling higher to a life of prayer and deeper intimacy with him. That it would be a place where we grow in discernment, in hearing his voice more clear and walking in gifts like healing and spiritual wisdom. I had got ordained a few months prior but, I hadn’t really told anyone about it. However, when I felt this call from the Lord I reached out to Mother Clare  who is my spiritual director and the head of the still small voice ministry she too confirmed that the Lord was calling me there after telling her some of the rhemas I had received. She then told me to seek the Lord and I got

Luke 5:11
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.

My card was a little revised and said ” Don’t Fear leave everything and follow me…from now you will catch men”

 

I was floored and struggled with this for 2 days crying because I didn’t realize how attached I was to my family, ministry and to be honest the world. Was I really ready to leave the world behind and plus Jesus didn’t tell me about this! lol I had plans you know not only for my life but I thought for the rest of the year but when you are walking with Jesus you must follow wherever he leads when he leads. So after about two weeks of rebellion and oppression I finally committed to leaving. The Lord had told me earlier before lent starting that he was going to began speaking to me everyday which he did and he said “everything will come against the words I am speaking to you…everything” and in deed EVERYTHING CAME AGAINST THIS CALL.

The Lord being so faithful he had already gone ahead of me, you see in the beginning of the year he surprised me by having one of my youtube follower reach out to me and bless me with a buddy pass for a whole year. She works with united airlines and felt the Lord putting me on her heart to travel anywhere in the world for FREE!! I couldn’t believe and I told the Lord ” I guess were traveling this year!” . Once again I had my own plans of where I wanted to go and when but as you know the Lord had HIS own plans for me. So when I finally made up my mind I knew the Lord wanting me to immeadilty, to obey immediately as the discipled did. I now see in his great mercy that was a second chance to the call of God. He could’ve have left me back in Texas when I resisted for those two weeks but he was so ever patient and waited. So I gave my family about a 2 day notice and told them  I was not finally leaving to follow Jesus to New Mexico. I took one bag because he had told me too “take nothing with you for the journey”

 

Luke 9:3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey–no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.

Its amazing how scripture comes to life when you are following Jesus and I he had already a ticket provided so I traveled for $0.00. AMAZING! However, Everything I mean EVERYTHING came against this call. My entire family, all my “good christian friends”, Pastors you name it. I was getting calls all over the day I was leaving and text message to not go, its dangerous, tremendous slander against the ministry all of hell used the closest people to me to detour me from coming. However, walking with Jesus I know when immense opposition comes against a direction of God it further validates for me that is right where I need to be. There was only one person on my side, with Jesus and all of heaven.

Once I finally touched down in the airport across the security lines I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and I knew Hell had lost again another battle “for nothing can oppose the will of God”.  I had the most amazing encounters with people at the airport and would love for you all to be praying for the salvation “Wayne- a new ager looking for truth and Kathy-homosexual lady looking for truth. They were wonderful souls and divinely appointed by the Lord. Upon arriving in Taos, New Mexico it was breath taking seeing the beautiful mountain and it was more beautiful when I was finally able to go and stay on the mountain as we build the community.

The Lord had given this vision to Mother Clare 20 years ago that she would be taking a group of young people with a torch then seeing them on fire thru the woods. This prayer mountain has been anointed by Saint Elijah the prophet himself to be consecrated Holy ground and a place for refuge for the remnant as well once the tribulation starts. The Holy Prayer mountain will be available for visitors next year to come and have retreats by groups/churches or personal time of solitude for anyone who wants to draw closer to Jesus and indeed of spiritual council. For those who are called there now we will have our very own hermitages in the mountain separate from one another to be alone with the Lord. It is quite amazing up there, so peaceful the air so clean and truly a place of respite. So to the mountain I go with me and Jesus walking on this crazy adventure called “Life” as He writes His story within me for his glory!

Below I have a link to some video footage I have done on my youtube channel and a prophet message from the Lord about that place. Please visit our website https://www.heartdwellers.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWgh6peBRXA&t=7s

 

Many Are Being Hit With Assignments of Hopelessness

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Romans 5:5

And HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

It was in during April when the Lord shared with me “that this summer would be difficult a test of faith and the enemy would do all that he can to make me feel hopeless because everything would come against the words he was speaking to me…everything”. Sure enough that has been so true, I don’t think I have been test and tried like I have this summer. However, I am continuously reminded when the Lord speaks to me about things concerning attacks and assignments against me many times its a corporate assignment against the body of Christ.

As I began to respond to comments through social media I started noticing that many other believers where feeling the same type of oppression. Many were battling with feelings of depression, hopelessness and even more so this month as it is Suicide prevention month, spirits of suicide have been released on the body of Christ as well. Forwarned is to be forearmed you know. The Lord has many of us fiery trials and battles that have seemed so long and arduous to truly test our character and our faith that many of us have gone weary. In the weariness the enemy comes at the most vulnerable moment to release thoughts, lies, images, and impressions of hopelessness. Saying “nothing will every change”, “you don’t really believe what the Lord said do you”, “Look your still in the same predicament, give up”, “go back to the old you”, ” Don’t wait on the Lord, YOU do something about it”, ” Are you sure Jesus said…look what is going on” and so much more but we must’n give into the lies! ( now just so you know I am talking to myself here too lol)

I realize before the arrow of hopelessness hit us, we open the door to doubt. Doubting Gods promises, doubting his faithfulness and doubting his goodness. When we began to doubt, the the demon of unbelief enter, the demon of impatience which is accompanied with the demon of anxiety, discouragement, depression and hopelessness. They have a field day in the minds and hearts of those who began to doubt Gods word and ways.  Once we get into that mindset we no longer see the value or have faith in praying and seeking the Lord. We find ourselves easily drawn away to other comforts to distract us which can easily pull us so far away we lose our desire for Gods presence all together. So how can we combat this onslaught?

Antidote: Strong praise and worship in the midst of your storm

I am here to encourage you to RISE UP! Now is the time for FERCIOUS FOCUS OF FAITH like never before! Cast down those vain imaginations, thoughts, and feelings began to declare the Lords promises, what he says about you and your situation not what your seeing or feeling. We must go back to the altars of faith. Everyone has them, think of moments in your life where God has answered prayers, when he made provision for you and of his faithfulness. Just as David did we must remind ourselves first of who God is and what he had done in the past remembring that He never changes! He is the same God today, yesterday and forever and if he was faithful before he will be faithful again. I had to go back in my journal and see how God had been leading my life the many things I wrote down not expecting him to answer and realizing many of the answered prayers I am walking in now! This too shall pass, like all the other trials and battles. Upon writing this blog this quote popped on my instagram so timely from my favorite Saint

“The Longer the trial to which God subjects you. The greater the goodness in comforting you during the time of trial and in the exaltation after the combat”
-St. Padre Pio

I am learning that during the test of our faith our hope must never lie on the circumstances changes, not on the people involved, in what is being said, in what is being done to you or what is not being done to you, and definitely not how we feel. our HOPE must be in Jesus Christ alone. We must hope in our Lords character which is good, loving, faithful, and just. Knowing that if he is allowing whatever your going through he will work it out for your good, bringing beauty out of ashes and its because he loves you that he has called you to endure and he is just, that is why he is allowing this to form you and He is faithful to bring all his promises to you to past. So lets us continue to have our hope be in Jesus alone as we cling to the cross in this season of our lives and honestly in every season. As we wait patiently by his grace for him to restore all that has been lost and to refine his beautiful masterpieces into the most beautiful tapestry called our lives for HIS glory!

Say”Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you, Jesus I trust you”

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

 

 

The Sin of Job…”Woe is Me”

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This the first time I have given myself over in Lent truly allow the Lord to do surgery upon my heart and have his way in me. As it is a time of purification as the Lord draws you nearer to produce holiness.  He mentioned it would be challenging and how it has been to say the least. As he been showing me many hidden sins within myself that have been a hindrance to what he has called me to and to holiness. He has allowed many test and trials which I seemed to fail right after the other because of the same vices. I began to get frustrated, discouraged and found myself in self pity as I was thinking but Lord I have done all you have asked, I have done this..and that and this…and holy spirit continued to give reading in Job during my time of communion. As I finally realized he was pointing out one major hidden sin which was the sin of Job, the “woe is me sin”. The sin of Self Righteousness and Self Pity.

Job 32:2-4

So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him. 

If I can be honest many times I have heard of the story of job and read the last chapter but not the entire book and I never quite understood why his friends were reprimanded by God or understood why Job was severely chastised by the Lord. It was God who told Satan that he was righteous Job 2:6-22. However, as you see in Job 31, Job goes on to tell his friends all the sin’s had not committed to be worthy of this suffering he was going thru. Which sounded just like me when the Lord would reveal another hidden sin I would go on this rant within my heart regrading all the the sins I hadn’t done because it was utterly despondent  to find myself falling into sin everyday. Until, the Holy Spirit began to show me it is my Self righteousness that causes me to go into self pity when the Lord allows more suffering or reveals sin because there is nothing I can do within myself to ever be clean before him. It is Christ righteousness that makes me clean and therefore whatever he allows I deserve because he took the worst punishment which was death. Which I never have to taste because of what Christ has done.

I was humbled to say the least and really began to see the depravity of my immense pride that still lingered now in self righteousness and contending with the Lord by going into self pity when he allowed these ever fiery trials as I deserved his consolation or relief. He has been truly teaching me what it means to be a “living sacrifice” and to be yielded in “Total Surrender” which means to be a wounded prisoner of his love. Suffering with Christ and as Job finally stated “if he slay me, yet I will praise him” (Job 13:15). I believe the Lord is looking for us all as believers to come to that place of maturity that though he slays our flesh yet we will praise him! For many of us we are not willing to suffer or even surrender in suffering because we murmur, complain, get discouraged and worse go in self pity thinking we don’t deserve what the Lord is allow which will lead us all into self righteousness.

 

However, the Lord is faith and even though he is sovereign and he has divine providence over each our lives with whatever he allows which is always right and just. He is a good good Father as he has been reminding me in this season of Lent. That although this process of purification is painful and challenging he promises to restore. Always that nothing we sacrifice or endure is without merit in due time if we don’t give up. He is faithful to restore, establish and strengthen us. Just as Job, whose later days were far more glorious, joyful, fulfilling and fruitful more than the former. So my friend lets continue to endure and say yes to Jesus to whatever he ask of us, whatever he takes from us, and whatever failures we face. We say yes to you Jesus, we thank you for your righteousness that you clothe me us with and  give us he grace to rejoice in our suffering in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Job 31

What Can I Expect from God?

31 1-4 “I made a solemn pact with myself
    never to undress a girl with my eyes.
So what can I expect from God?
    What do I deserve from God Almighty above?
Isn’t calamity reserved for the wicked?
    Isn’t disaster supposed to strike those who do wrong?
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live?
    Doesn’t he mark every step I take?

5-8 “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
    or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
    so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
    wanted things I had no right to,
    messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
    give my portion to someone who deserves it.

9-12 “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman
    and conspired to go to bed with her,
Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead
    and sleep with anyone she wants to.
For disgusting behavior like that,
    I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down;
    I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.

13-15 “Have I ever been unfair to my employees
    when they brought a complaint to me?
What, then, will I do when God confronts me?
    When God examines my books, what can I say?
Didn’t the same God who made me, make them?
    Aren’t we all made of the same stuff, equals before God?

16-18 “Have I ignored the needs of the poor,
    turned my back on the indigent,
Taken care of my own needs and fed my own face
    while they languished?
Wasn’t my home always open to them?
    Weren’t they always welcome at my table?

19-20 “Have I ever left a poor family shivering in the cold
    when they had no warm clothes?
Didn’t the poor bless me when they saw me coming,
    knowing I’d brought coats from my closet?

21-23 “If I’ve ever used my strength and influence
    to take advantage of the unfortunate,
Go ahead, break both my arms,
    cut off all my fingers!
The fear of God has kept me from these things—
    how else could I ever face him?

If Only Someone Would Give Me a Hearing!

24-28 “Did I set my heart on making big money
    or worship at the bank?
Did I boast about my wealth,
    show off because I was well-off?
Was I ever so awed by the sun’s brilliance
    and moved by the moon’s beauty
That I let myself become seduced by them
    and worshiped them on the sly?
If so, I would deserve the worst of punishments,
    for I would be betraying God himself.

29-30 “Did I ever crow over my enemy’s ruin?
    Or gloat over my rival’s bad luck?
No, I never said a word of detraction,
    never cursed them, even under my breath.

31-34 “Didn’t those who worked for me say,
    ‘He fed us well. There were always second helpings’?
And no stranger ever had to spend a night in the street;
    my doors were always open to travelers.
Did I hide my sin the way Adam did,
    or conceal my guilt behind closed doors
Because I was afraid what people would say,
    fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much
That I turned myself into a recluse?
    You know good and well that I didn’t.

35-37 “Oh, if only someone would give me a hearing!
    I’ve signed my name to my defense—let the
        Almighty One answer!
    I want to see my indictment in writing.
Anyone’s welcome to read my defense;
    I’ll write it on a poster and carry it around town.
I’m prepared to account for every move I’ve ever made—
    to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.

38-40 “If the very ground that I farm accuses me,
    if even the furrows fill with tears from my abuse,
If I’ve ever raped the earth for my own profit
    or dispossessed its rightful owners,
Then curse it with thistles instead of wheat,
    curse it with weeds instead of barley.”

The words of Job to his three friends were finished.

 

 

The Lord is My Shepherd….and He Leads Me His Way

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The Lord put it on our hearts for us all to watch “Tortured for Christ” Voice of the Martyr’s movie which tells of true story of Richard Wurmbrandin Romania when they were taken over by the communist. Many Christians were put into prison camps tortured, and died for their faith in Jesus. Towards the end of the movie there was a young man who was on his death bed sick with TB and he was talking to Richard and said that the scriptures had never been more real until now and he is okay that his shepherd had led him to a lie in sick bed so if that was the Lords will he would accept it. He died giving his medication to Richard so that he may live. At that moment Psalm 23 I had what you would call an epiphany with that scripture. This young man truly understood what it meant for the Lord to be his shepherd when many of us Christians still struggle with that today.

I am one of them as I learn to let go and trust the Lord to lead me and lay me down wherever he wills.  Many times when you read that scripture or even look up images for that psalm you see a shepherd or Jesus with sheep in lush green pastures but it hit me that wherever God lays you down is indeed green pastures.  Alot of the time we have our preconceived notations about what the Lord should do with us, how he should do it and where he should place us but this young man understand. That in a communist prison, on a sick bed about to die that the good shepherd had led him there. It was the devils plan, an attack or a witch (especially if your African) lol. However, I believe he had finally come to peace that he was one of Gods sheep and he was in complete control of his life whether good or bad.

When the Lord led me to leave my beautiful apartment to come back to my mothers house to babysit my nieces. I never thought to consider this my pasture for the mean time. I mean there have been some valley moments be He has led me here. So in fact the Lord is saying where ever he lays you down is green pastures. In green pastures the sheep find rest, our fed, our protected, our refreshed, and our taken care of. One may ask how can sickness, suffering, not having your own place be green pasture when all around things seem so bleak. However, I realize in this place  I have been equipped, humbled, broken, healed, found my rest in the Lord, fed from his Heart, protected, refreshed and taken care of. He has led me in his way not my way.

So where my beloved fellow sheep  has the Lord led you? What does your green pasture look like? To some it may not look like the pasture or seem so green but indeed the Lord, our good shepherd has led you there to lay for a season and even when we are in the valley we need to not fear for he is even nearer. Don’t give up because if you do you may never reach that table that he has already set, and prepared for you to sit in the presence of your enemies that you may be a testimony of someone who trusted, had faith and believed in your shepherd. When others didn’t understand where he was leading you too, you never wandered from his staff and rod.

-From Jesus With Love

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 

 

 

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

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I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

When Your Walking In “The Valley of The Shadow Of Death”….Keep Walking

Image result for Walking through the valleyPsalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

 

A quick word of encouragement!

The Lord put in on my heart during prayer that many may be going thru what you call ” a valley of the shadow of death” but remember that first your in a valley where many think the mountain top is where you want to be. But it is in the valley where the Lords graces flow for just like water in a river it flows in the lowest of places. Secondly, the enemy is taunting you with shadows of death…death to your health, your name, your family, your marriage, finances, your children, a promise God gave you, your destiny but we must remember its “shadows” . The enemy would love for us to think that its real but all he knows to do is create smoke screens and magnify shadows which always appear bigger than the image its reflecting. So saints began to be encouraged, praise God in the valley because his grace is so abundance in your weakness, and shine a light on that shadow by declaring God word his promise over that situation that looks dead and continue walking….walking with Jesus. The enemy would love to have you stop walking or even turn around in this valley. NO, continue walking knowing that God is with you and he in fact led you in this valley for a purpose knowing that all things good and bad are allowed by the hand of God and he indeed will use it for your good and bring songs of joy in due time. 
-From Jesus with Love

But Wait Lord I Am Confused….. You Said: Trusting God Amidst Contradictions

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Psalm 37:5
 Give your way over to the Lord. Trust in Him also. And He will do it

I know many would say God doesn’t contradict himself, which is indeed very true for God is not a man that he should lie however, I have come to find out in my walk the Lord indeed allows many contradictions, many detours and many delays….why?? To not only purify our love but, grow our trust and confidence in him. Man it has been that season for me.  Being tested, pruned, tried, refined to be tested all over again. Have you ever find yourself excited writing down an amazing promise from the Lord just to find out the process was not at all what you had expected. Your first reaction is to say…..wait a minute wait a minute this is not what you told me Lord and he says ” but will you trust me through the process and believe what I said”. The Lord has a funny way of giving promises and direction without ever telling you the cost involved lol I believe he does that on purpose because if we knew the cost many of us would recoil in fear and say no. However, he gets us at a place when are hearts are open and willing to follow him anywhere and we find him ever so near when we find ourselves at a contradiction, a delay and  detours.

Many times during these “test” that come in a form of contradictions which is when the circumstance looks completely opposite from what he spoke to said or delays; when its a lot longer then you thought or you have to now wait on that promise and detour; when you find yourself veering off in another direction that you thought you were meant to go. I have come to find out in all of these circumstances it comes down to ME. What “I” thought it should look like, be or the path that “I” think would best get me there. Oh how I am learning and frequently forget its not about ME buts is all about Jesus. In these moments is when our true nature, our true murmurings of our heart come out and many times its eeky. We find ourselves frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful, complaining, discontent while the whole time the Lord is wanting to kill our nature and give us his. Which is patient, kind, makes no record of wrongs, is selfless, sacrificial and obedient.

I am reminded of people like Joseph, David, Moses, Abraham who were all given amazing promises from the Lord but, had many contradictions, detours and delays from the process to the promise (wait a minute side not that is a sermon title alright holy spirit lol) Joseph was promised to be King over all his family they would bow down to him but in the process he was thrown in prison and had various delay for 13 years until until his promise was fulfilled. David was anointed king and in the process was chased into a cave and on the run for over a year until his promise: he reigned as King, Moses was called to lead the children of Israel into the promise land and in the process had to endure with the children of Israel with their complaining for 40 years until the promise: reaching the promise land. Abraham was promised a son and in the process had to wait 10 years however became impatient had Ishmael until his promise: Issac came

So I am coming to understanding in the testing, in the breaking and in trusting God he allows contradictions, delays and detours from the process to the promise. What promise in your life has God granted you that seems to be not what you expected? That seems to be taking forever? That seems to be taking you down a direction you never imagined? Will you still trust him, that what he said he will do. (speaking to myself here lol)

Nana will you trust him and put confidence in Jesus?

My friend will you trust him?…..

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

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Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love