The Year of Being Tilled By The Lord..

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Job 5:8 
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

I remember Jan 1, 2018 the Lord put it on my heart to call all my siblings together because he wanted to speak to us. As all 6 of my siblings responded to the request and came I was so overjoyed. The Lord in fact did speak too each one of my siblings giving them a word for our family for the 2018 year. In our amazement he gave some the exact same vision! The Lord was calling us into deeper intimacy with him as he stated to me ” Allow me to till the soil of your heart, the rain is coming”. I had no idea what that entailed for me, for us as a family. However, 2018 has indeed been a year of being, not only pruned, broken, wounded, crushed and refined by the Lord in ways I had never experienced. I never cried as much as I have until this year as tears became the rain to heal the wounds of my heart so many times. This has been the year of tilling but I cant imagine it wont be my last. I believe every  believer who desires to truly surrender to God has to go through this process. So what is the process of tillage you ask? Let me explain

So it wasnt about a few weeks ago that I decided to look up what tilling the soil really means and what it looks like. I was completely blown away at imagery and comparison to what the Lord desires to do in our hearts and I got it! Why it was so necessary for the Lord to till my heart the way he did. Below are some frequent question that are asked on Google when one is wanting to till their souls. So I wanted to provide a spiritual picture and answer to each question. Why its necessary for the Lord also till the soil of our hearts,

  • What Does Turning the Soil Mean?

Tillage or Turn the soil. That is a directive found in countless garden book and websites. If you are unsure what the phrase means or what it entails, know that you are in for some hard work. In the end, you’ll have a soil bed that is loose, better drained and well suited for plants.

  • So What Does It Mean For The Lord To Toil The Soil of Your Heart?

This too is found in scripture when David cried out “Lord create in me a pure heart” maybe you have prayed that before that is exactly what he is doing. Preparing our hearts to be pure before him. It is indeed HARD WORK many times we wont understand the phases, trials and test at but in the end the Lord is loosing up the hardness of our hearts or areas that are hardened to his spirit. You see he must be able to get our heart better suited for the “seed” that has fallen so when the rain ” Holy Spirit” comes the word is not chocked, the gifts our chocked , the anointing isn’t chocked by pride, selfishness, jealously you name it but the seed bears fruit!

  • What Tool Do You Use To Turn The Soil?

A must-have soil-care tool with a rounded edge. Handy for scooping compost, cutting into hard ground, and digging soil out of planting holes. A squared-off blade takes cutting through sod a snap.

  • What Tool Does The Lord Use To Turn The Soil of Hearts?

The Lord always will use those closest to us as tools of sanctification. You see his desire is that we would “Love until it hurts” that’s how Jesus loved. He wants our heart transformed into his dwelling place where he can love freely and abundantly on those around us. So he will use loved ones, peers, friends to hurt us, betray us, speak against us, reject us so that we may learn to love like Christ. That selfishness and self love in our hearts has to be broken up. We are taught love , honor and respect are earned and to only give these things if you get it back. But that is not how Jesus loves, “Yet while we were still sinners he died for us (Romans 5:8)”. So many times the Lord would ask me Nana, are you wiling to die to flesh for the sake of me?  Would you forgive, let go of all offenses and continue to love them? So many times the Lord allow devastating circumstances, hard situations and times of abandonment from those I thought I needed the most to break my heart….my hard soil.

  • Why Is Loosening The Soil Important?

Air pockets that are created by the deep loosening of soil facilitate air and water penetration for plants to use. Air penetration is also important to the micro-organisms in the soil that perform all kinds of important tasks creating nutrients for the plants (as noted above with cultivation).

  • Why Is Allowing The Lord to Loosen The Soil of Your Heart Important?

Daniel 5:20 “But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit became so proud that he behaved arrogantly, he was deposed from his royal throne and his glory was taken away from him’. His desire is that we wouldn’t continue in the ways of a stubborn heart that doesn’t yield to the Lord in obedience. Behaving arrogantly which in turn will cause us too lose our glory and even our salvation if we allow it. To be used by the Lord as a vessel we need to make room in our hearts for the wind of God (hearing his voice) and the rain, which is Holy Spirit to lead us. That he would take over our hearts and in him we would move and have our being  (Acts 17:28) not in our own hearts. That is so easily moved by our emotions, past experiences, defensive, quick to be guarded and rarely willing to give. Its important so when the Holy Spirits penetrates he is able to perform all kinds of task through us and we are able to cultivate the gifts of the spirit even more. When we allow the Lord to loosen the soil it gives room for him to CREATE!…PURE HEARTS

So at this point you may be asking the Lord when will the tilling stop, when will the crushing, pruning be over Lord? When will the rain come that I may see fruit?

When Can I Plant After Tilling?

You’ll need to wait at least a few weeks before planting, but waiting a few months is better. A thorough tilling once a year typically is enough to keep your garden soil healthy, so pick the time that works best for your gardening schedule.

  • When Will The Season of Tilling Be Over?

Well that one is always up too the Lord. I too kept asking Lord when and began to think as many of us do because the year is changing things will be different tomorrow. However the Lord is outside of time and I have come to find out the seasons of earth don’t run the same as the seasons of heaven. In this question, I have come to find my peace and rest in the Lord. When I stopped complaining, being anxious, wallowing in self pity of being stripped, tried and tested. I now look back and see how very good it was for me and more so how close its drawn too Jesus. I have come to know him in the most intimate way. I now understand the cross with such a love and passion recognizing he calls me to walk in the way of the cross. All the tilling is so that my heart may be healthy and even as painful as it has been its been so rewarding. I also see that soil is used ground that is used the season comes when it has too be tilled again for new seeds to bare new fruit so this wont be my last time.  “Jesus I trust you and welcome you to till the soil of my heart always that I may be ready to not only receive your rain but a dispenser for others to be refreshed and eat of the fruit you produce in me!”

Will you allow him to till the soil of your heart….the rain indeed is coming?

-From Jesus with Love

 

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Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

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1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God’s Seminary: Lessons of Love University

 

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 “University is not necessary. Anointing, compassion and love are necessary. I will provide ALL these things. Unless I specifically lead you to Bible College, you can be equipped right where you are by simply going about doing good, studying Scripture, praying. Praying for others and seeking Me. Trust Me that I reward good wills. You cannot out-give Me. If you prove by your sincerity that you want with all your heart to serve Me, start with what you already have and add to that. I will do all the rest.

“Learning brings pride; charity edifies.

-Jesus

(still small voice youtube channel)

Recently I was asked from a youtube subscriber “how to prepare for ministry” and I told her you don’t. The Lord is the one who prepares you. Many times when we realize we have a call of God on our lives we rush trying to fulfill that call. Not realizing its the Lord himself who will direct your path and lead you into your purpose as you do all things WITH HIM. Furthermore, we live in a generation were many Christians seem to follow other Christians rather than following Jesus. We have conformed to the standard of man ways rather than the move of the Holy Spirit. So when many hear the call of God upon their lives we naturally think we then have to go to school, find a spiritual covering, get involved in a ministry somewhere and find out our gifts which are all good. However, I have come to know Gods ways are definitely not our ways and his way is always THE WAY OF LOVE.

John 13:35
A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so also you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples,if you love one another.

 

That is indeed Gods Seminary his way of educating and training not only those he loves. but those he calls No seminary can teach you  the lessons that God can and humble in the process. You see Gods seminary refines you, kills all of self love and transforms you into the image of Christ not your favorite teacher, preacher or saints before us. Their lives are a great example for us to follow but, we must follow Jesus. As a close friend said to me a few days ago “That Nana you know your walk with the Lord is a litte cooky, is doesnt look like a cookie cutter christian” LOL. I had to laugh because Christianity was never meant to be cookie cutter and we have made it like that when the Lord reminds Nicodemous that those who are born of the Spirit are like the wind, they are led by the Spirit of the Lord.

John 3:8
The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

So to walk with Jesus is to go wherever he tells you, when he tells you and how he tells you. Not obtaining knowledge that we may know more scripture, more revelation, more prophecy, more power and gifts of the spirit but to become love itself. Which is to truly become like Christ for God is love.

So welcome to a prelude of God’s Seminary : The University of Love

Curriculum

  • Lesson 1: To Know Your Identity In Christ-experiencing how much God love you and what he says about you
  • Lesson 2: To love God with your whole hearts, body and mind– You will be stripped of all comforts you so easily run too rather than Jesus. Can be family, friends, food, a recreational activity, anything
  • Lesson 3: Trusting the Lord with your whole heart– You will be put in circumstances or situations that cause you to lean on the Lord and not your own understanding
  • Lesson 4: Trusting God with your provision– You will be stripped of  your won “financially security” so you can come to trust God to provide
  • Lesson 5: Forgiving all grievances- The Lord will allow those closest to you to hurt you just to see how quick you will forgive them.
  • Lesson 6: Purity of Heart- The Lord will began to convict you of wrong heart attitudes and thoughts. Also break down your pride so you desire his will above all else
  • Lesson 7: Love your enemies, Praying for them– The Lord will allow betrayal, rejection, people to speak against you, use you and persecute unjustly so that you may pray for them and love them despite the offense
  • Lesson 8: Give to the Poor and Needy– The Lord will will began putting opportunities of those around you who are in need. He will call you to give away your possessions. Give to those in need around you, taking care of them.
  • Lesson 9: Fear the Lord and not Men- The Lord will test you in situations many times painful where you will have to make a decision to follow Him or follow men, the census, the trend?
  • Lesson 10: Wearing the crown of scorn and contempt– The Lord will allow those around you to scoff and mock at you just so you can learn brotherly love and be free from men’s opinion
  • Lessons 11: Brother Love- The Lord will began to test you and teach you how to truly love your brothers and sisters in Christ. Honoring others above yourself

Welcome to the first semester of Gods University of Love. Lessons you will indeed take many, many, many times and cannot get from any seminary or church but only from experiences the Lord puts you in too refined you and teach you. Please don’t run from the process or worse drop out. How too many drop out finding it to hard or not at all what they thought so would rather go the “cookie cutter way”.  Not realizing that Gods’ University of Love although painful, bewildering and sorrowful at times is the fasted way to maturity, holiness, transformation, intimacy and the anointing of God. That’s the way to true discipleship, so allow the spirit of the Lord to lead and prepare for HIS MINISTRY.

Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

-From Jesus with Love

 

Daddy Where Are You?….When God Hides Himself: Blind Faith

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Isaiah 45:15
Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior!

When I would read in scripture about God hiding himself it almost always equated to sin. However, I believe many of us have gone through season where the Lord seems so far from us, distant if you will and then were always told no God is not far its just that we are far from him. This scripture really explains that indeed the Lord can and will hide himself from us from time to time as I am learning in this season of my life. He hides himself to test us, to grow us in trust and in blind faith in him.

I find myself  in a season where I feel the Lord is calling me into an even deeper trust and truly blind faith in following him. As I am seeking God to discern his directions in certain decision in my life I am just not getting a clear answer, in fact nothing seems really clear. It feels really muddy as I am drudging along past lack of feeling, irritiabilites, fears and the unknown as i feel the Lord keeping saying ” will you trust me, will you trust me”. This has really been a test of faith for me as I look around with no fruit to show or motivate me to continue to labor on. The Lord reminds me will you labor in love of me only”. As I began to pray and ask him if he would give me the grace to love him more because honestly I find myself loving myself  little bit more rather than wanting to endure.

I am beginning to realize that the seasons in our life are not like the season on earth or definitely not as short lol. Sometimes I tend to equate a change of the earthly seasons or even the year as a change in a season of my life. eeeh wrong (sigh)  Candidly, as I struggle to stay encouraged and motivated as things still seem the same. Waiting for prayers to be answered in my family and my own personal life as I am still staying at my moms house, leading a church  small group,  managing a youtube channel, and work. I pictured myself as a little girl out in a huge field searching, looking for her Daddy ( Abba). As I frantically am calling out to him Lord where are you? Daddy where are you? I could just see him standing off which seemed like a distance but ever so near behind me but I didn’t realize it. That when the Holy Spirit began to impress upon my heart that ” When you seek me and I don’t answer you it is mostly likely a test, I sit and wait to see what you will do”

Psalm 26:2
Test me, O LORD, and try me; examine my heart and mind.

 

So I am beginning to understand as we  grow in maturity with the Lord he indeed has to hide himself from time to time to test us. To test our motives and to see if all that he has taught us is ingrained in our hearts and character. That without hearing him, without experiencing him, with out the “feeling” will we do his will? will we follow the ways of his heart? will we trust him? will we follow him in blind faith and do it anyway? Sad to say I have failed one too many times in these test but, I thank the Lord for his mercy and his ever so loving kindness that draws me back to pick me up again. Just to do it all over again….in hopes the next time I will pass the test!

-From Jesus with love

 

PRAYER POINTS: Too Pray for AMERICA and President Trump!

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Prophetic word from Jesus concerning America and President Trump
(still small voice youtube channel)

“My people, My chosen ones, history is written with prayer. And this is your time to stand in the gap and pray for a miracle. In fact, a succession of miracles. Miracle after miracle is needed to free this nation from its captivity. You who care—it is in your hands. I had given you a time frame in which I would observe the actions of this nation and My Father would make a decision about her fate. “Although I am anxious to save the Muslim people and others around the world, I cannot oppose My Father’s judgment. He sees so much more than you do. And while He has defended a Champion to break this system—for at least a season, it is a very difficult battle. And we are not winning. We are losing in many areas……“The battle is in the minds of those who refuse to see, or scratch the surface, or even reason intelligently. They are stirred up and focused on President Trump as a target for their frustrations and anger. Since they have chosen lies, they may well get to see what their choices will result in. “It is not My Father’s will to set the Tribulation in motion now; it is His will to bring revival, to give all a chance to repent and come to Me.”

-Jesus

From Prophetic Message: Crisis In America

 

The Lord is calling to the most urgent intercession again, we are at the mot critical point in America!

1. Prayer God remembers America
Isaiah 49:15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

2. Pray for a Miracle in fact a succession of Miracles after miracles to save America out of captivity
Deuteronomy 10:21
He is the one you praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.

3.We pray American would began to live and keep their minds on things above. Because of comfort and abundance much has been overlooked in the political arena.
Colossians 3:2 Keep your mind on things above, not on worldly things.

4. The Lord said those who are true to the spirit of this nation are beginning to take back ground in America, and He will support them in their fight. Prayer that Gods chosen ones would be violent in prayer to fight for our nation
Matthew 11:12 From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence, and violent people have been raiding it.

5.The Lord said “The battle is in the minds of those who refuse to see, or scratch the surface, or even reason intelligently prayer is to have eyes opened and deaf ears unstopped
Isaiah 35:5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.

6. Prayer is to change the heart of this generation raised by the Global Elite
Jeremiah 24:7 ‘I will give them a heart to know me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart.

7. The Lord wants us Pray much for the children of this generation who do not know their right from their left. Pray they would hear this is the way walk in it and choose to take the narrow road which leads to life
Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

8. The Lord wants us to Pray they would wake up. So let’s pray the Lord would restore them make his face shine on them and that they would be saved
Psalm 80:5 Restore us, O God; make your face shine on us ,that we may be saved.

9. Pray My Father will send them a sign that causes them to go deeper. So lets pray ask the Lord to send a sign like he did for Gideon that this generation would know God intends to use them to rescue America
Judges 6:36 Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, 37 prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.”

10. Pray that they wouldn’t go along with the crowd but seek the Lord for true assessment of their choices
Acts 17:27 that they should seek the Lord, if perhaps they might reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

11. Pray that God would break the stubborn pride of this culture
Leviticus 26:19 I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.

12. “Pray and hope much that this generation would be willing to remove the blindfold and look at the facts of where they stand in this critical moment of time.

13.pray much that this generation will respond to God grace and discover the Truth for themselves. Titus 2:11
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people

– From Jesus with Love

When All You Have Left Is To STAND & Worship

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Sometimes the greatest battle we tend to fight, is not only on our knees but in surrendered worship; praising our way through whatever storm or valley we find ourselves, fortifying our heart in praise as we face opposition. If I can be honest, that can be difficult and many times  it isn’t easy to muster up the courage to execute what God’s grace has already made provision for.

The Lord has called me to be an intercessor and has given me the opportunity to intercede for our nation on many occasions. This, is to turn world events round  so as to enable the lord pour out his mercy, giving lost souls the opportunity to come into his kingdom. Many times as an intercessor you may not see the fruit of your labor immediately, but the small victories seen makes it feel like your prayers really do matter. However, when you have been contending for a long time and not seeing any breakthrough, you can  and may get weary. That is when you STOP, STAND! and just worship, knowing that the Lord is indeed fighting your battle.

I have been contending for my family for a while and many times in battle it seems the fight get fiercest when you get on your knees. Many people become perplexed and start thinking “but Lord I have been praying about this, why has all hell broken loose?”. That’s just the thing, before you weren’t advancing towards the enemy’s camp, but now that your prayers are hitting its mark  and started gaining grounds, then the enemy will always have a retaliatory attack. These retaliatory attacks are used to SHAKE your faith.

Let us ask ourselves a question, what happens when everything you pray against happens, then what? The enemy wants you to believe your prayers aren’t working, there is no point of pressing in, God has forgotten about you or worse,that God is not good. As a believer we must know how to stand. Doing all that we know how to do…………….we must STAND and know that he right there with us.

Ephesians 6: 13

Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.

STAND on the rock, STAND on Gods promises, STAND declaring the goodness of your Father, STAND in prayer, STAND in surrender, STAND in love, and STAND in praise. That  which He said  He will indeed do. Being the oldest girl of 6 girls I’ve come to realize the Lord has set me apart to STAND in the gap for my family and  for the family of Christ. That comes at a cost and it will cost me everything, cost me a life laid down completely dead to self that Christ can live. Oh! how hard it has been carrying this designer cross Jesus made just for me. The many tears I have sown, the many disappointment, the many scars I have acquired to carry this cross and follow Jesus. It can be difficult when you cant see what is ahead but only remembering that God said he would work all things out for our good (Romans 8:28).  He said that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalm 126), He said to rejoice in hope, be patience in tribulation and persistent in prayer (Romans 12:12), He said that when you have suffered for a little while he will restore you, establish you and strengthen you. To STAND for Christ is to STAND in the Gap, To STAND for the anointing will cost you everything. Just as Christ in his suffering of carrying cross  was not dismayed, for there was much joy and greater victory set before him. We as his joint heirs should do same. When we give our lives over to the Lord to be a living sacrifice that is indeed worship!

So, what have you been standing for? If you have been weary, tried, cried all that you could cry, discouraged, despondent, frustrated, just feeling like giving up……………….. my friend DON’T! STAND!  God wants to use you to mend what has been broken in your bloodline, in your generation, in your community and in your nation. Don’t give up, stand and when you have done all that you can do to stand…………… worship him for he is working it all out for your good and for his glory!

 

-From Jesus with Love

Powerful testimony had me in tears and encouraged me how the Lord will indeed redeem all things!

 

Swimming In the Ocean Of Gods Mercy

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Isaiah 30:18

So the Lord wants to show you kindness. He waits on high to have loving-pity on you. For the Lord is a God of what is right and fair. And god will come to all those who hope in Him

The Lord just gave me this scripture after falling again…(sigh) just right after I got out of prayer with him and gave me scriptures on Obedience. I was telling the Lord man you are humbling me I cant seem to go an hour without a fall Lord . So instead of running from him I ran to him and received Mercy. Oh how kind and sweet our God is indeed if we just run to him.  I have been asking the Lord to humble me and he has indeed doing that where he is really revealing all my hidden sins and struggles which causes me not to even think to judge others or walk in pride because I see how weak I am and indeed of his mercy so that i may give others mercy as well.

Luke 6:36
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

This past week I have found myself falling in every way and every day in faultfinding, quick tempered, impatient and even gossip under the guise of “lets pray for them” lol You know we have all been there and done that which is an offense before the Lord. You see I prayed for the lord to purify my heart and he has been doing just that where I am able to feel it…yes I feel heat on my back and pain in my body when I have fallen which is a grace and a gift he allows. Which I believe he has given to many of his other brides to keep us spiritually healthy and in check. It causes me to run to him immediately with this wonderful (trying not to be sarcastic here…Lord forgive me) answered pray the Lord has given me. I found myself being taunted by the enemy that it seemed I couldn’t do anything right, I began to feel so down and discouraged almost to the point of hopelessness. However, after having a conversation with a friend she reminded me that it was great the Lord has really called me to purity and I am always willing to confess even the littlest offenses to others which gives her room to d the same but it seems like I dwell there. That I didn’t need to dwell there, yes I had fallen but the Lord had already made a way for all my sins, so confess , repent and move forward. I am not sure why something clicked in that moment and decided I wouldn’t allow the enemy to continue to use my faults against me any longer

 

In prayer the Lord showed me the most beautiful image of me just swimming, more like floating in this beautiful crystal clear pristine VAST ocean as the sun was kissing my face. I was in pure joy and the Holy spirit said ” You are swimming in the ocean of Gods mercy”. Many times the enemy will use our faults against us especially those the Lord has called to intimacy because we so want to please him in everything we do and can be devastated when we sin against him but, the Lord was reminded me of his mercy.

Mercy:

noun
 1.compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

power to punish or harm.

Somewhere along the way I had taken my eyes of Jesus and so much on my weakness that I have forgotten He always makes a way available for us all and that is his mercy. The Ocean of Gods mercy is endless, never ending, so peaceful, so filled with love and readily available for all those who humble themselves and boldly come before their Fathers throne to receive it. I am definitely in a season of swimming in the Ocean of Gods Mercy as I continue to be tested tried, fall, repent receive mercy to be tested again. If it wasnt for his mercy I am not sure where I would be….well maybe I do lol Jesus is so tender is so patience in the midst of this that I felt him say in my heart yesterday “its okay, tomorrow is another day just try to do better tomorrow” just to fall again….

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What does Jesus have to say….”Beloved, its okay tomorrow is another day try to do better tomorrow walk in obedience to my every word and you will have peace as you continue to swim in the Ocean of my mercy, I love you my dove, oh how I love you. Don’t be discouraged by your weakness but continue to boast in them as you bring them before me so I can strengthen you with more graces”. So if you find yourself struggling with your weaknesses and sin before Lord don’t run away from him but jump, jump, JUMP into the Ocean of his mercy which is readily available for you, He loves you!

-From Jesus with Love

But Wait Lord I Am Confused….. You Said: Trusting God Amidst Contradictions

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Psalm 37:5
 Give your way over to the Lord. Trust in Him also. And He will do it

I know many would say God doesn’t contradict himself, which is indeed very true for God is not a man that he should lie however, I have come to find out in my walk the Lord indeed allows many contradictions, many detours and many delays….why?? To not only purify our love but, grow our trust and confidence in him. Man it has been that season for me.  Being tested, pruned, tried, refined to be tested all over again. Have you ever find yourself excited writing down an amazing promise from the Lord just to find out the process was not at all what you had expected. Your first reaction is to say…..wait a minute wait a minute this is not what you told me Lord and he says ” but will you trust me through the process and believe what I said”. The Lord has a funny way of giving promises and direction without ever telling you the cost involved lol I believe he does that on purpose because if we knew the cost many of us would recoil in fear and say no. However, he gets us at a place when are hearts are open and willing to follow him anywhere and we find him ever so near when we find ourselves at a contradiction, a delay and  detours.

Many times during these “test” that come in a form of contradictions which is when the circumstance looks completely opposite from what he spoke to said or delays; when its a lot longer then you thought or you have to now wait on that promise and detour; when you find yourself veering off in another direction that you thought you were meant to go. I have come to find out in all of these circumstances it comes down to ME. What “I” thought it should look like, be or the path that “I” think would best get me there. Oh how I am learning and frequently forget its not about ME buts is all about Jesus. In these moments is when our true nature, our true murmurings of our heart come out and many times its eeky. We find ourselves frustrated, angry, bitter, resentful, complaining, discontent while the whole time the Lord is wanting to kill our nature and give us his. Which is patient, kind, makes no record of wrongs, is selfless, sacrificial and obedient.

I am reminded of people like Joseph, David, Moses, Abraham who were all given amazing promises from the Lord but, had many contradictions, detours and delays from the process to the promise (wait a minute side not that is a sermon title alright holy spirit lol) Joseph was promised to be King over all his family they would bow down to him but in the process he was thrown in prison and had various delay for 13 years until until his promise was fulfilled. David was anointed king and in the process was chased into a cave and on the run for over a year until his promise: he reigned as King, Moses was called to lead the children of Israel into the promise land and in the process had to endure with the children of Israel with their complaining for 40 years until the promise: reaching the promise land. Abraham was promised a son and in the process had to wait 10 years however became impatient had Ishmael until his promise: Issac came

So I am coming to understanding in the testing, in the breaking and in trusting God he allows contradictions, delays and detours from the process to the promise. What promise in your life has God granted you that seems to be not what you expected? That seems to be taking forever? That seems to be taking you down a direction you never imagined? Will you still trust him, that what he said he will do. (speaking to myself here lol)

Nana will you trust him and put confidence in Jesus?

My friend will you trust him?…..

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

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Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Renewing My Vows

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I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love