The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

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It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going  fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around.  One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had  she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught  the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness.   I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if  Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you  know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well.  Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love

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The Lord is My Shepherd….and He Leads Me His Way

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The Lord put it on our hearts for us all to watch “Tortured for Christ” Voice of the Martyr’s movie which tells of true story of Richard Wurmbrandin Romania when they were taken over by the communist. Many Christians were put into prison camps tortured, and died for their faith in Jesus. Towards the end of the movie there was a young man who was on his death bed sick with TB and he was talking to Richard and said that the scriptures had never been more real until now and he is okay that his shepherd had led him to a lie in sick bed so if that was the Lords will he would accept it. He died giving his medication to Richard so that he may live. At that moment Psalm 23 I had what you would call an epiphany with that scripture. This young man truly understood what it meant for the Lord to be his shepherd when many of us Christians still struggle with that today.

I am one of them as I learn to let go and trust the Lord to lead me and lay me down wherever he wills.  Many times when you read that scripture or even look up images for that psalm you see a shepherd or Jesus with sheep in lush green pastures but it hit me that wherever God lays you down is indeed green pastures.  Alot of the time we have our preconceived notations about what the Lord should do with us, how he should do it and where he should place us but this young man understand. That in a communist prison, on a sick bed about to die that the good shepherd had led him there. It was the devils plan, an attack or a witch (especially if your African) lol. However, I believe he had finally come to peace that he was one of Gods sheep and he was in complete control of his life whether good or bad.

When the Lord led me to leave my beautiful apartment to come back to my mothers house to babysit my nieces. I never thought to consider this my pasture for the mean time. I mean there have been some valley moments be He has led me here. So in fact the Lord is saying where ever he lays you down is green pastures. In green pastures the sheep find rest, our fed, our protected, our refreshed, and our taken care of. One may ask how can sickness, suffering, not having your own place be green pasture when all around things seem so bleak. However, I realize in this place  I have been equipped, humbled, broken, healed, found my rest in the Lord, fed from his Heart, protected, refreshed and taken care of. He has led me in his way not my way.

So where my beloved fellow sheep  has the Lord led you? What does your green pasture look like? To some it may not look like the pasture or seem so green but indeed the Lord, our good shepherd has led you there to lay for a season and even when we are in the valley we need to not fear for he is even nearer. Don’t give up because if you do you may never reach that table that he has already set, and prepared for you to sit in the presence of your enemies that you may be a testimony of someone who trusted, had faith and believed in your shepherd. When others didn’t understand where he was leading you too, you never wandered from his staff and rod.

-From Jesus With Love

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 

 

 

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

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I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

The Year of Being Tilled By The Lord..

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Job 5:8 
For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

I remember Jan 1, 2018 the Lord put it on my heart to call all my siblings together because he wanted to speak to us. As all 6 of my siblings responded to the request and came I was so overjoyed. The Lord in fact did speak too each one of my siblings giving them a word for our family for the 2018 year. In our amazement he gave some the exact same vision! The Lord was calling us into deeper intimacy with him as he stated to me ” Allow me to till the soil of your heart, the rain is coming”. I had no idea what that entailed for me, for us as a family. However, 2018 has indeed been a year of being, not only pruned, broken, wounded, crushed and refined by the Lord in ways I had never experienced. I never cried as much as I have until this year as tears became the rain to heal the wounds of my heart so many times. This has been the year of tilling but I cant imagine it wont be my last. I believe every  believer who desires to truly surrender to God has to go through this process. So what is the process of tillage you ask? Let me explain

So it wasnt about a few weeks ago that I decided to look up what tilling the soil really means and what it looks like. I was completely blown away at imagery and comparison to what the Lord desires to do in our hearts and I got it! Why it was so necessary for the Lord to till my heart the way he did. Below are some frequent question that are asked on Google when one is wanting to till their souls. So I wanted to provide a spiritual picture and answer to each question. Why its necessary for the Lord also till the soil of our hearts,

  • What Does Turning the Soil Mean?

Tillage or Turn the soil. That is a directive found in countless garden book and websites. If you are unsure what the phrase means or what it entails, know that you are in for some hard work. In the end, you’ll have a soil bed that is loose, better drained and well suited for plants.

  • So What Does It Mean For The Lord To Toil The Soil of Your Heart?

This too is found in scripture when David cried out “Lord create in me a pure heart” maybe you have prayed that before that is exactly what he is doing. Preparing our hearts to be pure before him. It is indeed HARD WORK many times we wont understand the phases, trials and test at but in the end the Lord is loosing up the hardness of our hearts or areas that are hardened to his spirit. You see he must be able to get our heart better suited for the “seed” that has fallen so when the rain ” Holy Spirit” comes the word is not chocked, the gifts our chocked , the anointing isn’t chocked by pride, selfishness, jealously you name it but the seed bears fruit!

  • What Tool Do You Use To Turn The Soil?

A must-have soil-care tool with a rounded edge. Handy for scooping compost, cutting into hard ground, and digging soil out of planting holes. A squared-off blade takes cutting through sod a snap.

  • What Tool Does The Lord Use To Turn The Soil of Hearts?

The Lord always will use those closest to us as tools of sanctification. You see his desire is that we would “Love until it hurts” that’s how Jesus loved. He wants our heart transformed into his dwelling place where he can love freely and abundantly on those around us. So he will use loved ones, peers, friends to hurt us, betray us, speak against us, reject us so that we may learn to love like Christ. That selfishness and self love in our hearts has to be broken up. We are taught love , honor and respect are earned and to only give these things if you get it back. But that is not how Jesus loves, “Yet while we were still sinners he died for us (Romans 5:8)”. So many times the Lord would ask me Nana, are you wiling to die to flesh for the sake of me?  Would you forgive, let go of all offenses and continue to love them? So many times the Lord allow devastating circumstances, hard situations and times of abandonment from those I thought I needed the most to break my heart….my hard soil.

  • Why Is Loosening The Soil Important?

Air pockets that are created by the deep loosening of soil facilitate air and water penetration for plants to use. Air penetration is also important to the micro-organisms in the soil that perform all kinds of important tasks creating nutrients for the plants (as noted above with cultivation).

  • Why Is Allowing The Lord to Loosen The Soil of Your Heart Important?

Daniel 5:20 “But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit became so proud that he behaved arrogantly, he was deposed from his royal throne and his glory was taken away from him’. His desire is that we wouldn’t continue in the ways of a stubborn heart that doesn’t yield to the Lord in obedience. Behaving arrogantly which in turn will cause us too lose our glory and even our salvation if we allow it. To be used by the Lord as a vessel we need to make room in our hearts for the wind of God (hearing his voice) and the rain, which is Holy Spirit to lead us. That he would take over our hearts and in him we would move and have our being  (Acts 17:28) not in our own hearts. That is so easily moved by our emotions, past experiences, defensive, quick to be guarded and rarely willing to give. Its important so when the Holy Spirits penetrates he is able to perform all kinds of task through us and we are able to cultivate the gifts of the spirit even more. When we allow the Lord to loosen the soil it gives room for him to CREATE!…PURE HEARTS

So at this point you may be asking the Lord when will the tilling stop, when will the crushing, pruning be over Lord? When will the rain come that I may see fruit?

When Can I Plant After Tilling?

You’ll need to wait at least a few weeks before planting, but waiting a few months is better. A thorough tilling once a year typically is enough to keep your garden soil healthy, so pick the time that works best for your gardening schedule.

  • When Will The Season of Tilling Be Over?

Well that one is always up too the Lord. I too kept asking Lord when and began to think as many of us do because the year is changing things will be different tomorrow. However the Lord is outside of time and I have come to find out the seasons of earth don’t run the same as the seasons of heaven. In this question, I have come to find my peace and rest in the Lord. When I stopped complaining, being anxious, wallowing in self pity of being stripped, tried and tested. I now look back and see how very good it was for me and more so how close its drawn too Jesus. I have come to know him in the most intimate way. I now understand the cross with such a love and passion recognizing he calls me to walk in the way of the cross. All the tilling is so that my heart may be healthy and even as painful as it has been its been so rewarding. I also see that soil is used ground that is used the season comes when it has too be tilled again for new seeds to bare new fruit so this wont be my last time.  “Jesus I trust you and welcome you to till the soil of my heart always that I may be ready to not only receive your rain but a dispenser for others to be refreshed and eat of the fruit you produce in me!”

Will you allow him to till the soil of your heart….the rain indeed is coming?

-From Jesus with Love

 

Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

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1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Your Walking In “The Valley of The Shadow Of Death”….Keep Walking

Image result for Walking through the valleyPsalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

 

A quick word of encouragement!

The Lord put in on my heart during prayer that many may be going thru what you call ” a valley of the shadow of death” but remember that first your in a valley where many think the mountain top is where you want to be. But it is in the valley where the Lords graces flow for just like water in a river it flows in the lowest of places. Secondly, the enemy is taunting you with shadows of death…death to your health, your name, your family, your marriage, finances, your children, a promise God gave you, your destiny but we must remember its “shadows” . The enemy would love for us to think that its real but all he knows to do is create smoke screens and magnify shadows which always appear bigger than the image its reflecting. So saints began to be encouraged, praise God in the valley because his grace is so abundance in your weakness, and shine a light on that shadow by declaring God word his promise over that situation that looks dead and continue walking….walking with Jesus. The enemy would love to have you stop walking or even turn around in this valley. NO, continue walking knowing that God is with you and he in fact led you in this valley for a purpose knowing that all things good and bad are allowed by the hand of God and he indeed will use it for your good and bring songs of joy in due time. 
-From Jesus with Love

Journal Entry: Message from Jesus to his people-Be Prepared For The Rapture

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9/24/18
After yesterday’s message on Still Small Voice the Lord mentioned that the rapture is imminent there is no more time IF WE DONT PRAY FOR MERCY and he is coming. I thought maybe I was called to stay behind and he confirmed yesterday I am called to go. So was disappointed to say the least I really felt I was called to be a part of the remnant but I am not. So came in worship to spend time with him and the first song that plays is of course “Providence” a song I have never heard before and the first line of the lyrics goes  “ Your ways are higher than mine” . I  then said  okay Lord blaah sulking lol. Then into the 3rd song I heard a still small voice during worship say “I have a word for my people”, I dismissed it because usually I have to press in for a longer time really hear him but it seemed he wanted to talk right away. However I still began to worship thinking it would take more time to hear from the Lord so I felt a tug and reached from the bible promises for discernment to to confirm if it was the Lords will for me to speak to him now and I got
Peace: Philippians 4:7
The peace of God is much greater than the human mind can understand. This peace will keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus

Goodmorning, Lord I felt like you said you have a word for our people during worship so I want to be obedient Lord
Jesus what’s on your heart?

Jesus: (sigh)
If my people who are called by my name would humble themselves turn from their wicked ways I would heal there land but beloved they haven’t turned. They have not yielded to my council or even sought my wisdom. They continue to go on as business as usual when the world as they know it is coming to an end.
Me: ( telling myself in my heart Nasahhene don’t doubt.)

Jesus continued: “My beloved it is me I know your heart and hear many of your musing thoughts. Many of my warriors have fought the good race and now its time to bring them home while many aren’t ready. For those who have lived for themselves, for those who confess me with their mouth but hearts are far from me, for those who have lived hidden lives in darkness but publicly proclaimed me you will be left behind. Many are the trials of the righteous but the Lord delivers them from is all. For those who have given up everything for my sake, for those who have loved their neighbor, loved their enemies; those who hurt them but out of love for me you have forgiven them and live to please me, For those who are devoted to righteousness and hungering and thirsting for me I say to you. You will be taken. It will be surprise for many but don’t be disheartened with what you haven’t accomplished as I have told you heaven is only the beginning. All that you desired to do for me on earth you will do in heaven with ease all in preparation for when we return back. Men will need ministering. So your ministry will begin then”

Me: Lord so really here is no hope for mercy sorry u know I was thinking of marriage,seeing your power manifested in your endtimes army I am sorry Lord but I a bit disappointed or well a lot and all those souls who are lost now…there are so many who don’t know and will be lost for ever

Jesus: “Cease all your doubting beloved and trust in my providence as you pray even now those souls will obtain mercy that’s why I have you all still praying don’t stop you labor is not in vain concerning your family they will be transformed and zay zay will be healed”

Me: But marriage Lord

Jesus “Ah well (with a smile) beloved on the bright side you will have the wedding of your dreams ”

Me : (very cheeky) Yea Lord with you ?

Jesus: “yes beloved with me and a love you ant explain or have ever imagined on this side of heaven

Me: Help me Lord not my will but your will be done Lord thank what should I work on today

Jesus: “reach out to loved ones to see how their doing, build monuments of our love, work don’t lost hope continue to press forward in all I put on your heart to do the ministry page .Don’t stress just continue working steadily so when I come my bride is about her father’s business”

Me: okay Lord Help me to have all this truth sink in help me not harden my hear or be downcast Jesus would you grant me the grace of thankfulness and joy with expectation and please help me to be obedient to your will

Jesus: “yes dear that I will do”

 

-From Jesus with love

(The Lord has now mentioned there is in inkling of hope if we continue to pray for mercy and offer sacrifices to him. So saints please lets pray!)

 

“I AM Shaped By Every Word HE says”

Image result for there is power in the tongue

 

The song ” I AM NO VICTIM’ from Bethel by Kristene DiMarco has been ringing through my head today even this morning when I got up. I knew it had to be the Holy Spirit and indeed it was for the words are so simple yet, so powerful. In this season,the battle and the fiery trials have been ferocious  as I have  been facing many challenges and things that have tested my faith like never before. Many times I have fallen, many, many times but, in Gods mercy he has picked me back up with his chords of loving kindness. Giving me the grace and courage to forge ahead. I didn’t realize that I was beginning to allow the trials to shape me rather than allowing the fire to refine me and Gods words to shape me. You see the Lord would warn me about fiery trials ahead so I would be prepared and be victorious in my response. However, I would find myself full of fear and anxiety. You see the Lord puts us through fiery trials to refine to clean up everything impure with in us.

Zechariah 13:9
The Lord highlighted this word to me today that I released in 2016. I am feeling this word very strongly for many right now. Be encouraged!

How many times I have prayed that specific prayer. Lord burn everything in me that is not of you, consume me with the fire of your love but when I found myself in the fire I would easily become discouraged and allowing what I was going through to shape me rather then Gods fire to refine me.  So that is where I have found myself utterly downcast, wounded, easily offended, sensitive to remarks against me, feeling rejected and alone.  When the Lord reminds me  in a rehma

”  Do not fear the reproach of man nor be terrified by their insults rather pray for them  for they are scourging me”

Even knowing the enemy will use the closest people around you to shoot his arrows with their words , God uses the closest people to refine you in charity. That when the arrows come you would respond in love and how difficult that has been for me if I may be honest. Through these trials many arrows in my identity have been attacked and I found myself doubting even believing some of them concerning my role in leadership feeling of  not good enough, in friendship going thru betrayals, in relationships feelings of insecurity, in my relationship with Lord feeling judged by others.  I would find myself looking for someone, a loved one I could run too, a confidant who would understand , who would comfort me but found no one….and I should find no one because Jesus is all of these. I found myself running back to him where I should’ve gone too in the first place as he began to impress on my heart..WHO DO I SAY THAT YOU ARE?

Jesus calls me

The anointed one,
His Servant who he has chosen
He has known me before the foundation of the earth
He has redeemed me and I AM his and He is mine
I am his beloved
I bring him delight
I AM beautiful
I share in his promises and have his divine nature
I AM a peacemaker
I AM  a concquery
I AM a gift , a pearl of great price that he has won
I AM  an intercessor
I have the gift of dancing on the devils head with my prayer and intercession
I AM his Warrior Bride
I AM Bold and Courageous like Joshua, a strong leader
The demons HATE that I never give up
I was created to dance in the fire
I AM Fearless and Brave
I AM Jesus’s Hotmess
I Am a laid down lover
I AM a priest
I AM a teacher
I AM a Disciple
I AM loved
I AM Forgiven
I AM not alone
I AM protected
I AM not rejected but accepted
I AM a child, a daughter of the King
I AM  betrothed to the most powerful person in all the universe and he has given me authority
I have Greatness ahead of me
I AM a Holy Saint
I AM NO VICTIM!
He is crazy in love with me with all my weakness
He calls me his own very lowly tool of salvation

…..as the lyrics too Kristene Di Marco songs “I AM NO VICTIM” rings in my head

[Bridge]
I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says
Oh I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says

So who does God say you are? Allow his words to shape and define you. Not the storm, not the trials and definitely not what others say about you. You are not who they say you are but you are who God says you are!

-From Jesus with love

 

 

 

 

 

Daddy Where Are You?….When God Hides Himself: Blind Faith

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Isaiah 45:15
Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior!

When I would read in scripture about God hiding himself it almost always equated to sin. However, I believe many of us have gone through season where the Lord seems so far from us, distant if you will and then were always told no God is not far its just that we are far from him. This scripture really explains that indeed the Lord can and will hide himself from us from time to time as I am learning in this season of my life. He hides himself to test us, to grow us in trust and in blind faith in him.

I find myself  in a season where I feel the Lord is calling me into an even deeper trust and truly blind faith in following him. As I am seeking God to discern his directions in certain decision in my life I am just not getting a clear answer, in fact nothing seems really clear. It feels really muddy as I am drudging along past lack of feeling, irritiabilites, fears and the unknown as i feel the Lord keeping saying ” will you trust me, will you trust me”. This has really been a test of faith for me as I look around with no fruit to show or motivate me to continue to labor on. The Lord reminds me will you labor in love of me only”. As I began to pray and ask him if he would give me the grace to love him more because honestly I find myself loving myself  little bit more rather than wanting to endure.

I am beginning to realize that the seasons in our life are not like the season on earth or definitely not as short lol. Sometimes I tend to equate a change of the earthly seasons or even the year as a change in a season of my life. eeeh wrong (sigh)  Candidly, as I struggle to stay encouraged and motivated as things still seem the same. Waiting for prayers to be answered in my family and my own personal life as I am still staying at my moms house, leading a church  small group,  managing a youtube channel, and work. I pictured myself as a little girl out in a huge field searching, looking for her Daddy ( Abba). As I frantically am calling out to him Lord where are you? Daddy where are you? I could just see him standing off which seemed like a distance but ever so near behind me but I didn’t realize it. That when the Holy Spirit began to impress upon my heart that ” When you seek me and I don’t answer you it is mostly likely a test, I sit and wait to see what you will do”

Psalm 26:2
Test me, O LORD, and try me; examine my heart and mind.

 

So I am beginning to understand as we  grow in maturity with the Lord he indeed has to hide himself from time to time to test us. To test our motives and to see if all that he has taught us is ingrained in our hearts and character. That without hearing him, without experiencing him, with out the “feeling” will we do his will? will we follow the ways of his heart? will we trust him? will we follow him in blind faith and do it anyway? Sad to say I have failed one too many times in these test but, I thank the Lord for his mercy and his ever so loving kindness that draws me back to pick me up again. Just to do it all over again….in hopes the next time I will pass the test!

-From Jesus with love