Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

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Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

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Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love

The Lord Loves To Use Broken Vessels

 

Broken vessels

You know so many of us yearn for the Lord to use us in mighty ways. We desire for the glory of God to be manifested and revealed in our lives so that he would be magnified. Funny thing is that exactly his desire for each and every single one of us however,  many times we feel as if we have to be perfect. That we have to clean ourselves up of our past, our struggles, and are weaknesses for him to use us. As believes sometimes we can automatically equate a mature believer with their strengthen. Unfortunately many times in  “Christianity” there a perception that you have to be a STRONG Christian, strong woman, strong man, strong wife, strong husband etc. Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a strong Christian or should I say it shouldn’t be put in that way. We have some have been given a greater measure of grace only to fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. Didn’t Paul tell us to boast in our weaknesses, so why as believers do we have the hardest time doing that?

2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me

During my alone time with the Lord,  he gave me wonderful impression of  Three Vessels. One filled with full to the top, Second filled running over and the Third cracked and broken with water pouring out of the holes. I realize we use this imagery a lot to symbolize ourselves as believers. We should be empty so the Lord can fill us up so we can overflow and pour out to others. Which is accurate however, the Lord showed me a beautiful different perspective, his perspective and out of all three vessels the most favored was the broken and cracked one.
A Vessel Filled To The Top:

FilledVase

(side not couldn’t find a better picture lol)
This vessel has been emptied of themselves and now is filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, however there is one of two slight problems that can occur if  this vessel is not careful. They can become stagnate, compliance or even lukewarm. They have been so full with the things of God but, no outlet to pour out which can in turn make them very comfortable. Or this vessel can become so full of pride, believing they know it all, have it all, no one can tell them nothing and unfortunately they rarely are willing to pour out their wisdom on others as if it comes with a cost. So be mindful not to become a vessel full of the knowledge, wisdom and gifts of God and not pouring out to others

Second Vessel: Filled to the top overflowing
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Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, there is one slight problem that can occur if this vessel is not careful. You see in this vessel, when poured out, it empty itself to be filled up again just to be pour out. So when it becomes empty, it can become weary, tired, and even dry at times. Until they are completely filled up again which could even take awhile. Then just to pout it all out and began the cycle over. So be mindful not to become a vessel pouring out to others all the time and leaving yourself empty.

Third Vessel: “Favored Vessel”- The Broken Vessel

Broken vessels

Now this vessel has also been emptied of themselves, now filled with the spirit of God, its filled with His word, its filled with His wisdom, its filled with His love, its filled with His faith. Such a wise vessel this one is, its so full that it overflows pouring out to others all the Lord has poured in. However, this one has many cracks, and many holes which were brought on by wounds from their past brought on from themselves or others, struggles that seem to resurface, and many, many weakness. Now don’t get me wrong the other vessels had some cracks and holes but they have been patched up so not many could see them but this one is very open, honest and transparent. The not only allow the Lord to pour out of them but to pour out of the very places of pain, of struggles, and of weakness They can never be too full, they can never be empty because they have cracks and holes therefore the Lord is continuously pouring into them and they are continuously pouring out to others. The flow never stops.

In his book The Final Quest, (side note I encourage everyone to read that book is sooo anointed!) Pastor Rick Joyner is told that in heaven we will be able to see the wounds of Jesus, and not only His wounds, but the scars that all of His chosen ones have taken for His sake. These are the medals of honor in heaven. He is told that we will carry these glorious scars forever, as Jesus does. It shows that all who carry them love God and His truth more than their own lives. He goes on to say that true leaders of God’s people, who carry genuine spiritual authority, will first prove their devotion in this way, through suffering for His name sake.

Isn’t that amazing!  When we can become willing vessels, transparent vessels about our past, our struggles, our pains, our weakness and pour out to others from that place the Lord loves it. He looks at it and says “Aaa Ha Now that is a Vessle I can use. When we are open about our weaknesses truly the Lord is magnified in every single way because those who look at us will ask themselves, How is that possible this vessel is standing, how is it possible that it can even be used but what they will see is Gods light radiating out of all our cracks and holes. Furthermore, those who we pour into will know if the Lord can use that broken, messed up, cracked vessel than he can use me too!

So what cracks and holes are you hiding that the Lord is trying to pour out of?  Don’t be afraid, don’t allow shame to keep your light hidden and your overflow stopped up. Guess what he wants to use you just as you are…..Cracks in all!

Breaking Up With Jesus

unhappy woman crying

So I know the title sounds….interesting lol but honestly that’s exactly what I did about two weeks ago. I can candidly say  any believer who has an intimate relationship has had one of these conversations with the Lord and I am not ashamed to recognize my foolishness lol. If you have been following blog you can see that I have been in a wilderness season for sure however lately the Lord has been  a lot more silent than usual for over a month now as I continue to seek him in prayer and worship still getting no definite answer.  I would continue to get Rhema scriptures on Patience, and Seeking God :

Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

So about a week ago in my alone time I just let him have it, in the most respectful way of course but I just poured out all my frustriaons, anger and anxiets to him. I mean he said he loved David a man after his own heart, a man who was brutally honest with his God, so I can be honest right lol . Now, a little background on my relationship with the Lord I would like to think it is a very intimate one. He infact has truly become my husband, my God whom I am submitted too and like any husband for his spouse he is demanding. So I have come to understand that I cannot do a lot of things I want too or to be frank I cannot do a lot of things he might even allow other believers too do. We all have different calling, so there in lies the problem of me always comparing myself (as hand slaps forehead) and throwing fits ( in my heart that is) lol when he tells me no when I would rather go out saying come and spend time with me.  However, in the past that wasn’t an issue at all, why I loooooved to spend time with my love because I would feel his presence so strongly, he would speak and leave me in awe. So of course I would forsake all to spend time with the Creator of the Universe, my Lord, my Groom, my Love and just relish in his presence….but I have come to know how deceiving my heart it because when the experiences stopped if I can be honest didnt seem as fun anymore.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

So the times the Lord called me for prayer of course the enemy of my soul and my own flesh began to speak so much louder with lies. “Why are you always praying Nana”,  “you know your neglected your family and friends spending all this time in prayer”, “whats the point your fasting and prayer still now answer”,  “Nana go an live a little”, “There is a function at the church the Lord will be okay with it forsake him and go…come on after all its church”, “Nana come on there is no need to spend so much time in prayer”, “Nana look at everyone else accomplishing things what have you accomplished on your knees….just stop and do what you want”,  “Man Nana nothing has changed, your wasting your time” , “Yea go out to friends to the movies, just take a break relax a little”,  “Nana Your not living, go out and live a little”,  “How are you going to meet anyone or a husband for that matter if you continue to isolate yourself and pray” …..these were some of the many, many tormenting thoughts that when through my mind which led me to this  tearful, frustrated and honest converstaion with the Lord. It went something like this:

“Lord I am tired, I am waking up early in the morning to seek your face , when I get home I seek you face in hours of worship and prayer and nothing, You said as we give up more things in this world to seek your face you would give us constellations. Where am I constellations? Some have poked fun because of the car I drive and somethings they feel I should have, Family doesn’t understand me, I don’t really have any friends but one or two, some say I am too deep, I feel so alone at times as I try to please you and be obedient but I feel like I am not living, I am so unhappy, I let go of entertainment, forsake curtain activities out of obedience for you, I fast and I pray that’s all I do everysingle day just running home to this prayer closet and I get nothing. My dreams have stopped and as i seek you….nothing. I see others who live their lives plainly and they hear from you so clearly all the time that’s not fair….I feel like I am giving and giving and getting nothing.I want to live a little, have fun. I am unhappy Lord, I just cant, I just cant do this anymore. … as I said all of this outloud in a tearful rant, hearing the echo of my voice playing back all that I said, I thought to myself.” Oh my goodness, I just broke up with Jesus…..then I bust out laughing. Truly it had to be only the Lord that caused me to laugh because I believe he was laughing too. I could just see him looking at me saying are you done now? LOL

I had to think really Nana, so this it what it takes to walk away a little, to relax a little, to give in a little, to compromise a little…to “live” a litte. Who does that sound like?  ( hand slap to my face) So upon regrouping and gathering myself I asked the Lord for forgiveness and to strengthen me. Just like the enemy to send someone too you to entice you just one more time which he did through a family member who came over a couple days after and questioning my relationship with the Lord. Guess what……he said the exact same things I had said to the Lord, stating that I need to live a balanced life, and I cant be too Holy, and that I need to live a little its good to have a relationship with the Lord but its not that serious….(my mouth dropped open…in my heart that is). I found myself not only defending my walk with the Lord but, most importantly I realized truly how foolish I sounded saying all that to the Lord and that in fact it was the cunning enemy of my soul to put those thoughts in my mind. You see majority of the time the devil is very cunning and suttle in his ways.  The Battle is truly in the mind all he  has to do is whisper thoughts in our minds, thoughts of how “little” a compromise we can take and it will be okay. However, I have come to understand is its the Small Foxes That Spoil The Vine.  The Vine of our Love For Jesus that is, its the “little’ sins or compromises we make that cause us to stray only to turn around and find out how distant we are from the Lord. Well, I am happy to say Jesus and I are still going strong so no need to worry (if anyone was heartbroken initially reading this lol) we are in a covenant marriage so it can never be broken. Even if I stumble, complain, get angry, even if I make my bed in hell you will be there hence Psalm 139.  By the grace of God I aint going nowhere, can I get an amen! lol. I am glad that the God that we serve is not intimidated by our tough questions, is not turned off by our frustrations but in fact he understand perfectly and loves us despite it all!! So for anyone else who can relate even in the least bit be encouraged.

So Father I pray that my love for you will abound more and more and more. That I would abound in knowledge and in all discernment. That by your grace I would approve the things that are excellent, that I may be sincere, without offense until the Day of your return in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

 

 

 

When The Enemy Assigned Death The Lord Declared Life & Multiplication!

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This has definitely been an exciting weekend for my family. I am in awe at the Lord seeing the fulfillment of his faithfulness, his mercy and grace upon my families life. My older brother who was locked up for 3 years was released 7 years early on good behavior to come home to be with us yesterday! Isn’t God so gracious and merciful. We  all got together at my mothers house for a celebrations. The whole family which includes, 8 nieces and nephews , my 5 sisters , my brother and a few friends. For the first time in 3 years my mother had all 7 of her kids under her roof again. So you had to imagine the house was so noisy with celebration and yes, of course yelling at the kids to tone it down lol. Toward the end of the night we had a friend group us all together to take a picture and they said wow there is so many of you all. I looked around and smiled inside because there is so many of us, to think just a few years ago the number of people in my family brought me shame, embarrassment, guilt, sadness, hopelessness, irritation and even anger.  I just had to praise the Lord for his sovereignty, his goodness, faithfulness and his grace in that moment he reminded me where death was assigned to our family he not only declared life but multiplied us as well! Thank you Jesus he is so awesome!!

You see at some point each one of my siblings even my parents have faced death. Only a few years ago did I notice this pattern and assignment the enemy was after our family intentionally, and intensely. As he is after every believer, however the Lord always protected us, sustained us and I know see the manifestation of the Lord redeeming us! So just  a little family history of the instances in our family where the enemy  could’ve taken each of us out if it wasn’t for the Lords intervention. My mother at young age of 21 was walking home from work when she first arrived in the states. She was told at the time from my uncle not to get a ride from anyone and wait on him however, she was tired didn’t listen and got a ride from a passerby. He then decided to take a route separate from my mothers house and attempted to lock her in the car. However, my mother said something told her to jump out the car during a red light and she did just that. Running for her life and she learned her lesson that day  that it was the grace of God that nudged her to run out the car. My father was also in a bad car accident where he was thrown out the vehicle and almost lost his life as a youth. Then my older brother Todd,  has had many battles. Starting from my mothers womb he almost died, they had to take him out with forceps thought he would be blind or have brain damage but,within a few weeks was perfectly fine. The following years of his adolescences and adult life got involved with the wrong crowd and friends. Had many fights, and as a family we had many nights of prayer for him not sure if he would return home. However, even with him a getting sentenced I see the Lord hand in that because the Lord corrects those he loves and keeps them from harm even sometimes we don’t perceive what he is doing. Thank you Father!

Hebrew 12:6
For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

Now to me, I had one of the most terrible accidents about 5 years ago where me and friend where driving from the club (yes partying and drinking) we were side swiped and our car flipped rolling over the median into the merging lane, we landed on top of another car and rolled again 5 times into the grassy plain across the highway about a few feet from light pole. With no seat belt  I landed right side up and I literally had a half inch scratch on my back. Where as my other friend had bruised lung but we were all perfectly okay. If that isn’t God I don’t know what is! Then my younger sister Nana Fremah also had a death or life encounter giving birth to her son, Tristen where she began to hemorrhage right after giving birth.  She at one point thought of having abortion when she found of out her pregnancy. She made an appointment and upon entering into the facility for the procedure she stated the Lord nudged her to walk out  and she did just that. My wonderful nephew Tristen would’ve never been here if she didn’t listen. Then my sister following her Nana Serwah has been in two almost deadly car accidents. One was with my other sister who follows her Nana Kondau, where the car they were driving caught on fire. They were told by a family driving beside them to jump out. So they jumped out of the car and upon the car hitting the curb it exploded. Can you believe that,  something out of  an action movie. They both walked away with scratches by the Grace of God! To add to this testimony when my sister Nana Kondua got pregnant with her children the first one we call Zay Zay was born with seizures which the Lord has already declared by his word and even in a vision that he will heal her!! The second one, Naomi was a troubled pregnancy my sister had no ammonic fluid. The doctors told her to abort but, she didn’t trusting the Lord will let the baby live. Sure enough Naomi came out kicking, screaming feisty premature baby so strong and still has no issue even now. We thank God for his Grace!! Now, with Nana Frimponga known as Nana #5 has gone through many trials of depression & even suicide. When we were hopeless and as she was admitted into the hospital, my mother weary not sure what to do but to pray. She told my sister not to take the medication trusting the Lord and sure enough the Lord guided my sister to the bible she began to read it and was able to overcome this battle. We thank God that his word is power it against any strong hold!

 Hebrews 4:12 – For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

So now seeing where the enemy had not only tried to take my parents out even before they had us, then take each of us which would then stop my sibling from having their beautiful children. I remember about 4 years ago being in the car driving to my mothers house and so saddened, burdened and in despair as to where my family was. My siblings kept having a children it seemed like every year and the toll it was taking on my mom. I just broke down in the car asking the Lord why, where was here, it seems are prayers were going in circles. I was just tired and utterly broken, I felt so helpless, alone and hopeless. I know now that was the furthest from the truth. The Lord was right there and has been all along. He even brought a scripture to my attention a few months ago regarding children:

Psalm 127: 35
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

Isn’t that beautiful scripture, that is how good our God is that even out of wedlock, even in the midst of our sin he blesses us with a beautiful gift of children and what a blessing all 8 of them are now to us. Yes, we still have our struggles in our family and by no means is everything perfect but now looking back I thank God for our numerous trials , I thank him for his Grace upon us, His Mercy, His Goodness, His Love and his Faithfulness! We are still waiting and trusting him to see the manifestation of all his promise’s but, I now know that we were never alone and we will never be alone. We can face anything as a family by his grace for he will never leave us or forsake us. Thank you Lord that when the enemy assigned death to our family not only did you declare life but you multiplied us as well!! Praise you Lord, Love you Jesus!!

 

Come To Me My Child

I  made up my mind that I would get up every morning @ 5:00am before work to spend time with the Lord.  Now how long have I been consistent about that’s…..another story lol However, I had been  going through some tough resistance from the enemy manifesting in anxiety, worry, doubt, condemnation you could name it but woke up late. Darn it thanks for hitting the alarm Nana! lol  Jumping out of bed all discombobulated  and having only 45 minutes I knew that I needed to press in no matter this day. I came into  our secret place ( my closet) worship and my alone time with the Lord now feeling a little uneasy honestly with just a lot on my mind.  Lately it seem I had not been able to really connect deeply with him especially during worship. I sat there with my lips singing the songs but, with my mind thinking of how uncomfortable the way I was sitting, how he probably thinks my breath wasn’t so fresh because I had just got up out didn’t brush my teeth, that maybe I didn’t smell so great because I hadn’t taken a shower yet, then mad at myself because I wasn’t even focusing on him at all.  Which got me thinking maybe I should’ve taken a shower, read my bible then worshiped. Oooh or maybe I should’ve not worship and go right to prayer because I didn’t have enough time. Yes, All of these thoughts running through my mind as I am singing.  I felt like Pricilla Shirer in the movie ” War Room” .The scene where she is setting up her closet as a “War Room” trying to getting comfortable figuring out which way to sit, what chair, how to pray, what to read just getting all worked up for nothing as she was trying to get right in his presence . Lol

Then finally a break through I got the most beautiful impression in my heart, as I was worshipping I saw my little niece Naomi, who is cutest bow legged one year old walking towards me in a dirty diaper and bib. As she is taking her first few steps reaching out for me and I was reaching out my hands to grab her. Then the Lord shared with me, You see how your heart flutters in anticipation to grab her as she reaches out for even when she looks dirty. That’s how I see you, that’s how I see all my children. I long for you and love you right where you are just come to me. The more dirty and uncomfortable you feel that is even the more reason I want to hold you and clean you up with my Love. So come to me don’t let anything ever stop you from coming to me.  Then I saw myself as child with a beautiful white dress with ruffles with my arms around my heavenly father neck and my head resting on his shoulder. I burst into tears, with my heart completely melted and the heaviness completely lifted because of the consuming Love of our amazing father.

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Romans 8:31-39 
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord

I began to think  to myself how so many others have come to feel they are not good enough to go before the presence of God. That they are not spiritual enough, they’ve been away from God too long so he has to be mad at them. They feel so dirty physically or spiritually because of where they are, what they have done and where they have been. As they carry condemnation and guilt where ever they go. Or, that there is a specific place and posture you have to get too to come into his presence and talk to him. Yet, God sees each and every single one of us as his beloved children. Dirty before him but when we set our gaze on him and began to take steps toward his direction. His heart explodes with Love and anticipation every time.  Like we cant even imagine, as he’s been patiently waiting so long for this moment for us to come back to him. So we can be refreshed, cleaned up, made whole and loved on in his presence. So come to him right where you are he longs to pick you up and hold you in his arms!