Holy Week: The Lord Is Looking For Fruit Of Repentance

Image result for fruit of repentance

This is my first time truly observing Lent and really coming before the Lord to have his way in me. To remove anything in me that displeases him and oh how he has taken me upon that offer or better yet I don’t think it was my inclination at all. It was his and he simply wanted to let me in on what he was going to do anyway lol. So there has been a lot of trials  where I can see the Lord is testing my faith, ridding me of fear, testing my patience,  having temptation to return back to the lust of the world and really calling me deeper in surrender. He has had me at his feet so that I may come to know him more, grow in discernment and have deeper fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

He has had me at his feet also on Sundays, where I learn from him the most and this past Sunday woke up feeling completely exhausted after prayer as I thought to myself “Lord maybe I should go to church today because after all it is Palm Sunday. However, he put a desire in my heart that he wanted to teach me about Palm Sunday what it really means and the significance to our Christian walk. So this blog is expressing the ideas of a minister whom the Lord led me to listen too to learn the true meaning of Palm Sunday and further more Lent. It such amazing revelations and gave me a greater understanding that this “religious holiday” is not just to be recognized or just to do a devotional and then go right back to the way things were before. No, the Lord is indeed wanting to purify and call us all to repentance. A word were not really familiar with in this generation that no longer desires to be talk about sin but  only God’s grace it seems thereby living like the world but professing Jesus. Furthermore, causing this generation lack greatly in personal holiness and that is what the Lord is desiring that we be holy as he is holy. He then offers “grace” to obtain that! Either way I am just like the rest for truly I am a working progress and have much willful sin the Lord is dealing in me daily Pride, Self righteousness, Jealously, Gossip, Lust the list goes on however he continues to remind me as he shows me all these hidden sin. That his grace is available for me to overcome this sins, baring fruit to really live a holy life. So may this Holy Week be a week where we all give ourselves over the Lord for him to prune us and bare fruit worthy of repentance

Palm Sunday: Fruit of Repentance Sermon Notes

Matthew 21:1-11
Now when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples,
 saying to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, ‘The Lord needs them,’ and he will send them at once.” This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet, saying,

“Say to the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your king is coming to you,
humble, and mounted on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.’”

 The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” 10 And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, “Who is this?” 11 And the crowds said, “This is the prophet Jesus, from Nazareth of Galilee.”

Bethany means “house of figs” while Btehpage is house of “un-ripe figs”
-Jesus left a house full of believers into a town of people shouting his praise who lacked repentance for they soon would be the ones to yell “crucify him”
-“Figs” symbolize Fruit of repentance The Triumphal Entry of Jesus was foreshadowing of a Parable being acted out ” the Parable of the Fig Tree”

The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree Luke 13:6-9

And he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

Jesus ministry was for 3 1/2 years to the Jewish people, the fig tree baring no fruit was the Jewish people and the “man” is God the father coming to retrieve fruit from his chosen people but finds none and wants to cut it off. However, our beloved Jesus the “vinedresser” tells the Father no give Jewish people more time and if not then cut them down. We know know it means to give salvation to the Gentiles first instead of the Jews who ended up rejected him!

Back to the Triumphal Entry
He rode on ass before riding on a colt , the ass represents the Jews and the Colt represents the Gentiles. The Lord came to the Jews first but they rejected him and the Gentiles repented and accepted him to receive salvation.
-The Palm leaves were a sign of great triumph not only in Christian art but victory in sports hence the crowd waiving pal branches
-During this time of lent he has been looking for fruit worthy of repentance. He has come again to check our “Fig trees”, to see if we are baring fruit worthy of repentance.
Oh, how easily we praise him with Palm leaves in our hands one day then the next we crucify him with our sinful ways actions. How easily we can be so much like the crowd, tossed too and fro in commitment from one day to the next.
Jesus knew men were fickle so he never  entrusted himself to any man ( John 2:24)

The Lesson of The Fig Tree Matthew 24:32-35
And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather His elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as it branches become tender and sproutleaves, you know that summer is near.  So also, when you see all these things, you will know that He is near, right at the door

So what is the lesson in all of this? The branches are tender in this generation Jesus is coming very soon!

  • Will the Lord find Holy people in his church today when he comes to check the Fig Tree? Will the Lord find fruit on your tree worthy of repentance when he comes to check?

We must commit ourselves to holiness, charity in serving others and sanctity lets ask the Lord for these graces and to prune us so we may be a fruitful bride!

 

-From Jesus With Love

My Confession: My Struggles with Jealousy and Being Insecure In Gods Love

Image result for taking off a mask

Jesus began, “You have said it well, My Love. And thank you for including the struggle you have with jealousy. 

 “My dear ones, nothing will kill a church or particular body of believers as fast as jealousy. It is one of the most deadly sins, because it destroys unity and creates serious moral lapses for the sake of retaliation and competition. So many who are in the music ministry have a gift, but their hearts are far from Me. Rather, they are seeking the world’s accolades.
(still small voice http://www.heardwellers.org)

I want to be very candid and transparent in this post concerning my hidden struggles that I have had with Jealously and Insecurities in my walk with the Lord. The newest message from the Lord was posted today on Still Small Voice which is a ministry that I am apart of. Within the message Ms. Clare was very honest concerning her struggles with Jealousy as she was seeing others grow in their anointing and holiness. As I was reading all I could do was laugh because the very same things she struggles with  I do too! That is what I love about her and the ministry is that not only is she anointed but, so very open about her weakness and in-capabilities. Which immediately prompted me to do this blog to confess mine as well because some may see me writing blogs, having my YouTube channel, doing fb live prayers every week, posting words of encouragement,  and always speaking about intimacy with Jesus but, not knowing my very real weakness. Which should encourage anyone that the Lord loves to use hot messes which I am one of them lol

This past week in my alone time with the Lord he kept giving me scriptures on “Jealously” 4 days in a row.  through my bible promises book which I use for discernment  as I began to really examine my heart thinking Lord where , Lord where? At first my eyes would fall on the scripture about how God is a jealous God, so I began to think I wasnt being faithful to the Lord because there couldn’t be jealousy in my heart. (  of course not right ..oh boy lol) .You know when we try to get out of a conviction the Holy Spirit is calling out lol). After, the third day day, I was then like okay Lord you are addressing something. So Upon receiving this message he hit the nail right on the head.

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4)

You see this past few weeks the Lord has really been showing many hidden sins in my heart that offend him as he is calling me to holiness and pureness of heart. He has began to show me that I was insecure in my love with the him. Why was I still desiring others approval or love from others and when I didn’t get I felt rejected. You would think after spending hours in prayer and worship with the Lord every morning I would come out feeling so secure about who I was in him but,  as he has made me aware “I was seeking him but, didn’t trust him”. So then a situation would occur  during the day and I would be hit with arrows of rejection because of the response I would get from others. Then a friend candidly said to me “Nana you do all these videos on youtube, you talk about intimacy with Jesus but, your not deeply rooted and ground in Gods love  that’s why you still struggle with wanting love from others.” I thought to myself wow isn’t that so true. Especially when dealing with relationship of any form we tend too look for the people in our lives to provide that love for us and they never fully fulfill that role only Jesus can. However, I was still insecure in my relationship with Jesus which affected everything else. I needed to be deeply rooted and grounded in his love for me that I could be made whole.

  • I realize when I was insecure about Gods love for me I looked for those around me to provide that security of love
  • Being  insecure about Gods love for me I began to look to others for validation
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to question the sincerity of others love towards me
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love guarded not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to love the Lord half halfheartedly and not with my whole heart
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to fear being hurt by others
  • Being insecure about Gods love for me caused me to compare myself ultimately causing me to have Jealous thought towards others

So because of the root cause of my lack of security and trust in my identity in Christ I found myself having Jealous thoughts toward a dear friend. In the most subtle ways but, of course not to God and the saints. Our thoughts are so very loud before all of heaven lol  As someone who is called to lead others this demon of Jealousy is so terrible and easily causes deep breaches of division, and not only quench the Spirit of God in ministry but ruin your soul eek! Furthermore, the Lord has made me known that laziness and jealousy goes hand in hand. Those who have are anointed by the Lord have worked very hard so many times is our lack of application that causes us to be Jealous of others. So I am glad to be exposing it and getting the darkness out!

I found myself being territorial of a fb page I was called to run. I need help so I asked her to assist me with the page however, when she began to really take over the page and do things without asking. giving suggestion. I found Jealously rising in my heart in being territorial of something that wasnt mine in the first place but it’s the Lords ( I  mean can anyone relate). Then secondly we both decided to do prayers on fb live first together then separately. We began to do at the same time and day. As time went out I would find myself seeing her prayer video but, my eyes falling on how many views and comments she got versus me.  (I mean can anyone relate) Lastly I found myself comparing her messages from Jesus to mine. As she would share what the Lord was telling her as we are both learning to discern the Lords voice. Her messages sounded so regal and wise full of authority. However my messages sounded so simple, like my own thoughts and the devils would get me to just want to give up pressing in to hear Gods voice. ( I mean can anyone relate ). lol I mean comparison is a death trap! I found these were all the issue of my heart ;however outwardly everything seemed find. Until, the Lord began to call out all this hidden sin and offenses that were going on that no one else knew about but, him. He first had me confess it to my dear friend in which I am so grateful for our unique relationship because she was so gracious and just laughed. Wheew, I thank the Lord for his faithfulness as he continues to tell me to shine the light on the dark places in my heart that others may have the freedom to do the same thing. One thing I also felt he told me was that I am unique, I have a set of people he has anointed for me to draw to himself so it makes no sense to compare. All that do will continue to be different from anyone else because of the unique souls I am called to reach. That is the same for each of us, when we began to compare it kills Gods unique anointing  upon our lives because there are people I am called to reach with my looks, my height, with my voice, with my experiences, with  my weaknesses, failures etc that they can relation too but, not to someone else.

So I don’t know if you have dealt with this or are dealing with this especially in ministry its okay lol Its just not okay to stay there I have learned that there is so much freedom in confession sins truly. It liberates you and the other person. So if you have had this struggle with someone I encourage you to open and tell them you would be amazed they may have some of the same feelings towards you as well which gives them freedom to share their weakness. So lets embrace our uniqueness and most importantly be deeply rooted in Gods love!

My Prayer for myself and for you: Ephesians 3

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant us according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; that we, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that we may be filled with all the fullness of God and come to embrace our unique identity in him in Jesus name!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

The Sin of Job…”Woe is Me”

baby-pouting-gettyimages-86285025

This the first time I have given myself over in Lent truly allow the Lord to do surgery upon my heart and have his way in me. As it is a time of purification as the Lord draws you nearer to produce holiness.  He mentioned it would be challenging and how it has been to say the least. As he been showing me many hidden sins within myself that have been a hindrance to what he has called me to and to holiness. He has allowed many test and trials which I seemed to fail right after the other because of the same vices. I began to get frustrated, discouraged and found myself in self pity as I was thinking but Lord I have done all you have asked, I have done this..and that and this…and holy spirit continued to give reading in Job during my time of communion. As I finally realized he was pointing out one major hidden sin which was the sin of Job, the “woe is me sin”. The sin of Self Righteousness and Self Pity.

Job 32:2-4

So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. But Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, became very angry with Job for justifying himself rather than God. He was also angry with the three friends, because they had found no way to refute Job, and yet had condemned him. 

If I can be honest many times I have heard of the story of job and read the last chapter but not the entire book and I never quite understood why his friends were reprimanded by God or understood why Job was severely chastised by the Lord. It was God who told Satan that he was righteous Job 2:6-22. However, as you see in Job 31, Job goes on to tell his friends all the sin’s had not committed to be worthy of this suffering he was going thru. Which sounded just like me when the Lord would reveal another hidden sin I would go on this rant within my heart regrading all the the sins I hadn’t done because it was utterly despondent  to find myself falling into sin everyday. Until, the Holy Spirit began to show me it is my Self righteousness that causes me to go into self pity when the Lord allows more suffering or reveals sin because there is nothing I can do within myself to ever be clean before him. It is Christ righteousness that makes me clean and therefore whatever he allows I deserve because he took the worst punishment which was death. Which I never have to taste because of what Christ has done.

I was humbled to say the least and really began to see the depravity of my immense pride that still lingered now in self righteousness and contending with the Lord by going into self pity when he allowed these ever fiery trials as I deserved his consolation or relief. He has been truly teaching me what it means to be a “living sacrifice” and to be yielded in “Total Surrender” which means to be a wounded prisoner of his love. Suffering with Christ and as Job finally stated “if he slay me, yet I will praise him” (Job 13:15). I believe the Lord is looking for us all as believers to come to that place of maturity that though he slays our flesh yet we will praise him! For many of us we are not willing to suffer or even surrender in suffering because we murmur, complain, get discouraged and worse go in self pity thinking we don’t deserve what the Lord is allow which will lead us all into self righteousness.

 

However, the Lord is faith and even though he is sovereign and he has divine providence over each our lives with whatever he allows which is always right and just. He is a good good Father as he has been reminding me in this season of Lent. That although this process of purification is painful and challenging he promises to restore. Always that nothing we sacrifice or endure is without merit in due time if we don’t give up. He is faithful to restore, establish and strengthen us. Just as Job, whose later days were far more glorious, joyful, fulfilling and fruitful more than the former. So my friend lets continue to endure and say yes to Jesus to whatever he ask of us, whatever he takes from us, and whatever failures we face. We say yes to you Jesus, we thank you for your righteousness that you clothe me us with and  give us he grace to rejoice in our suffering in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Job 31

What Can I Expect from God?

31 1-4 “I made a solemn pact with myself
    never to undress a girl with my eyes.
So what can I expect from God?
    What do I deserve from God Almighty above?
Isn’t calamity reserved for the wicked?
    Isn’t disaster supposed to strike those who do wrong?
Isn’t God looking, observing how I live?
    Doesn’t he mark every step I take?

5-8 “Have I walked hand in hand with falsehood,
    or hung out in the company of deceit?
Weigh me on a set of honest scales
    so God has proof of my integrity.
If I’ve strayed off the straight and narrow,
    wanted things I had no right to,
    messed around with sin,
Go ahead, then—
    give my portion to someone who deserves it.

9-12 “If I’ve let myself be seduced by a woman
    and conspired to go to bed with her,
Fine, my wife has every right to go ahead
    and sleep with anyone she wants to.
For disgusting behavior like that,
    I’d deserve the worst punishment you could hand out.
Adultery is a fire that burns the house down;
    I wouldn’t expect anything I count dear to survive it.

13-15 “Have I ever been unfair to my employees
    when they brought a complaint to me?
What, then, will I do when God confronts me?
    When God examines my books, what can I say?
Didn’t the same God who made me, make them?
    Aren’t we all made of the same stuff, equals before God?

16-18 “Have I ignored the needs of the poor,
    turned my back on the indigent,
Taken care of my own needs and fed my own face
    while they languished?
Wasn’t my home always open to them?
    Weren’t they always welcome at my table?

19-20 “Have I ever left a poor family shivering in the cold
    when they had no warm clothes?
Didn’t the poor bless me when they saw me coming,
    knowing I’d brought coats from my closet?

21-23 “If I’ve ever used my strength and influence
    to take advantage of the unfortunate,
Go ahead, break both my arms,
    cut off all my fingers!
The fear of God has kept me from these things—
    how else could I ever face him?

If Only Someone Would Give Me a Hearing!

24-28 “Did I set my heart on making big money
    or worship at the bank?
Did I boast about my wealth,
    show off because I was well-off?
Was I ever so awed by the sun’s brilliance
    and moved by the moon’s beauty
That I let myself become seduced by them
    and worshiped them on the sly?
If so, I would deserve the worst of punishments,
    for I would be betraying God himself.

29-30 “Did I ever crow over my enemy’s ruin?
    Or gloat over my rival’s bad luck?
No, I never said a word of detraction,
    never cursed them, even under my breath.

31-34 “Didn’t those who worked for me say,
    ‘He fed us well. There were always second helpings’?
And no stranger ever had to spend a night in the street;
    my doors were always open to travelers.
Did I hide my sin the way Adam did,
    or conceal my guilt behind closed doors
Because I was afraid what people would say,
    fearing the gossip of the neighbors so much
That I turned myself into a recluse?
    You know good and well that I didn’t.

35-37 “Oh, if only someone would give me a hearing!
    I’ve signed my name to my defense—let the
        Almighty One answer!
    I want to see my indictment in writing.
Anyone’s welcome to read my defense;
    I’ll write it on a poster and carry it around town.
I’m prepared to account for every move I’ve ever made—
    to anyone and everyone, prince or pauper.

38-40 “If the very ground that I farm accuses me,
    if even the furrows fill with tears from my abuse,
If I’ve ever raped the earth for my own profit
    or dispossessed its rightful owners,
Then curse it with thistles instead of wheat,
    curse it with weeds instead of barley.”

The words of Job to his three friends were finished.

 

 

You Seek Me But You Dont Trust Me -Jesus

Image result for trusting god

I woke up two night ago with a dream that disturbed me a little. I couldn’t quite understand the meaning and wasn’t sure what I needed to do or even how to pray. So I sought the Lord with a quick prayer and used my rhema cards to get a word from Holy Spirit concerning what to do. He then gave me this rhema word:

“Seek me for me. You Seek me but you don’t trust in me that’s what makes you go off on your own.”- Jesus

Tears immediately began to roll down my cheeks as it hit my heart so tenderly. I could just hear Jesus’s hurt behind these words. Yes, we can move Gods heart to pain when we don’t trust him. I began to think how faithful he had been, how he had come thru for me so many times in this short but intimate relationship we have had for almost 4 years now and I stood before him still not yet trusting him.

Matthew 8:26
“You of little faith,” Jesus replied, “why are you so afraid?”

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who you have given your entire self too. You have been patient with them through many times of betrayals, their wandering, their rejection of your love yet you never left. Faithfully available for them whenever they needed, always there to comfort, give an encouraging word, guidance and love. Yet after being with you for so many years they confess that they really don’t trust you. That would be so painful and that’s what I felt in that moment how easily wavered I am in my heart with the Lord. My weakness yet again naked before the one I love However, I am so grateful that he is always willing to expose this issues of my heart so I don’t continue on in our relationship like this

Then secondly as he mentioned too “Seek me for Me”. That hit a chord as well realizing sadly searched my heart to see if indeed I had  become a seeker of things, of answers or even going thru the motions rather than relationship with him. I felt his tenderness and grief over this as well because many seek the Lord for selfish motives. For breakthrough, for blessings, for favor, for knowledge, for clarity, and the list can go on and on. Now these things aren’t bad to seek the Lord on but when that becomes the #1 motive then we have lost relationship with HIM. He is by no means a far off distant, unrelatable, irrelevant God. No, Jesus is so very real and as He is God, He is also fully man so he too has REAL EMOTIONS and NEEDS that many forgot or haven’t been taught. He desires relationship and how many of us seek the Lord daily just for HIS sake? Just to be with Him, to console him, to love Him, to communion with Him, to see how his day is going, to hear his heart? Imagine being in a relationship with someone who sought you for what they can get rather then who you are…hmm

Isaiah 29:19
Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me.

So I came before the Lord utterly broken, naked and repentant before him for hurting his tender heart as I did with my lack of faith in him. I just layed at his feet in worship and allowed myself to just enjoy his presence to get a word, see anything, get revelation or understanding but just to be with my beloved. Who was longing for my sincere affection and attention so I gave it. As I honestly said Jesus continue to grow my trust in you Lord and taking a deep breath still unknown about a lot of things and this season of wilderness I said ” Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”.

So my friend if  you can be honest with yourselves are you really trusting the Lord or are you still struggling in that area as many of us do. Go back to seeking him just to be with him as you did in the beginning and take his had firmly with all your fears, insecurities and doubts with a deep breath saying “Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You, Jesus I Trust You”

 

-From Jesus with Love

Jesus Says ” Get Ready For The Journey”

Image result for dirty  wedding dress

This is a prophetic messages from Heartdwellers.org given too Ms. Clare Dubois however the Lord gave this message as a rhema this morning and had me really examining my heart. Seeking the Holy Spirit for hidden sins in my heart and areas where I haven’t repented. The Lord has told us that the rapture is pending and he is coming for a bride who is spotless and without blemish. Its not just good enough that we have salvation  but he is coming for a bride with a pure heart. We cannot be perfect but he is looking for “perfect repentance”. A bride who is desiring to be  holy as her bridegroom is holy. Here is the message below:

The Lord Jesus is preparing us Heartdwellers. He’s on His
way and wants His Bride ready.

Jesus began “Getting ready. Getting ready to meet Me. Preparing their hearts before My mirror and asking forgiveness for what they see that is not right. “All these years My people have gone one of two ways: being constantly guilty or constantly OK – like, ‘nothing wrong here.’ But now I am asking for a deeper look. A more candid look, not glossing anything over. It is incomprehensible to you, My children, the demands of personal holiness. Because of My mercy, much is overlooked. But rather than be shocked, as that young boy Nathan was when he stood before his audience and his sins were revealed. I want you to spend time with My Holy Spirit and ask Him to reveal the darkness still inside of you.

“When you discover it, I don’t want you going over the deep end. I already knew it was there. All I want for you to do is confess it, ask forgiveness and make a resolution in your heart to avoid those sins and pray for the grace not to repeat them. You see, though you fall and are not perfect, because you confess and work on it I will forgive you and continue to pour out the graces you need to finally overcome your faults. You do not have to be perfect but you do need to be perfectly repentant

 

“The heart of this exercise is preparation and readiness to face Me. So much will be forgiven and removed on the way up to Heaven, but I do insist that you forgive everyone that ever offended you. I don’t want this experience marred by unforgiveness.

“What may help you in that area is that whoever was a challenge and injured you, had My permission. I am not the author of evil, but I did allow it as a challenge in loving others and dying to yourself. So, ultimately you can only blame Me for allowing it. Therefore be sure that you forgive the person, that you forgive yourself, and that you forgive Me. Cover all three bases. Ask Me to remove the root of bitterness you allowed to grow in your heart and defile it. There most certainly is a root of bitterness in every one of you. It is your job, with My Holy Spirit to identify it, renounce it and pray I will remove it.

“This exercise should not take you long, and it will not hinder your going into eternity. There are many of you that could be detained for unforgiveness. If you have bitterness in your heart, it is the ugliest of stains and will show right on the front of your wedding gown. So, be sure to rid yourself of that. Disarm it. By that I mean, refuse to allow it to pull you into a fury. Renounce this anger and unforgiveness in My Name, and refuse to connect with it. If you are faithful to make an honest effort, I will surely be faithful to totally remove it.

Selfishness is another flaw that you should repent of. Look for those times when you could have done something for another but didn’t bother. Either because you didn’t want to or you didn’t feel up to it. Do you know that many times I heal a malady because you went out of yourself to give, even when you were sick? There is a dynamic here.

 

“Satan knows ahead of time, sometimes, that a test is coming, or that you will rub shoulders with someone really in need. So he sends demons to push all your buttons, get you upset and distracted so you miss the good deed you should have done. This is oh, so common. When you see a multitude of things pushing your buttons, be on the look out for the ‘why’ of all those distractions. Is there someone coming to you for help, is there a meeting planned, is there an occasion of some sort?”

I would just like to say something here. Before ministry appointments? Oh, my goodness. We get barrages of provocative situations to wear us out before our appointment. This is so typical. I remember all the way back, I can remember these occasions all the way back 25 years ago, where the enemy tried to get us upset before an appointment.

Jesus continued, “Understand that the demons also have limited energy, so they pick their opportunities to trouble you according to the importance of what is coming up in your life. If it is very important and they know about it ahead of time (which they mostly do because they alert one another that such and such is going to happen or so and so is on the way) they quickly put 2 and 2 together, seeing that there is an occasion of virtue and helping another soul in need. They try to distract you or get you to cancel the meeting. Or they wear you out so you have nothing left for that person I’m sending you. Who, by the way, was very important to Me

 

Another thing to be aware of in selfishness is the self-important attitude, ‘I’m to busy for the likes of you.’ The ‘you aren’t important enough to me to stop what I’m doing.’ attitude. This is abhorrent to Me. Now we are getting into PRIDE, which is truly at the root of all evil. Selfishness will lead to Pride and selfrighteousness. Look for those times when your conscience twinged and you ignored it. Those are very good indicators of hidden sin.

“My Beautiful Bride, I am not saying these things to make you feel badly. I am saying them so you will stand clean before me. Sin is dirty. Unconfessed sin continues to be dirty. But sin confessed and forgiven exists no longer, it has been cancelled out. I want all My Brides to have their sins cancelled out.

Self-will, selfish ambition and jealousy that cause you to follow your own path rather than Mine, are also important to confess. If you are not sure, better safe than sorry. Better knowing that you recognized it than hiding it and having Me bring it up. Oh, so much better.

Here is a list for you to use in checking your behavior: Fear, Pride, Jealousy, Judgment, Anger, Laziness, Greed (acquisition), Gluttony, and Lust.

“Pay particular attention to those things that you do habitually when you know in your spirit you should be doing otherwise. They are an indication of disorder in your life and idolatry, because you put them before Me. These are indeed wrinkles in your dress.

“As I said before, this is not to discourage or reprimand you. It is to prepare you to meet Me without spot, wrinkle or blemish.

“A spot is something you allow to defile you, something you watch you shouldn’t have watched, something you said you shouldn’t have said, a feeling you engaged that you should have rejected.

“A blemish is an indication of inner contamination of the spirit. It comes up because something isn’t right inside. It could be an attitude that contaminates everything you do, like selfishness, fear, retaliation.

“A wrinkle is formed by a long-standing habit of sinful or disordered behavior. Having to work on Sunday, because you are in debt over your head, is the symptom of a wrinkle. The avarice caused you to want and to buy, then to pay it off you must deny Me the time I ask you to set aside every week for rest and rejuvenation with Me.

“Some of you are forced to work on Sunday or the Sabbath because that is the only work you could get. I am not legalistically condemning you for this. Did I not pick grains on the Sabbath? Did I not heal on the Sabbath? There is an attitude of heart that is so greedy that every spare moment is used to procure what is wanted.

” Wow…do I know about that…

“There is another attitude of heart that sets aside another day for Me when the appointed days are taken up out of necessity

“I wish for you not to get into arguments about which day of the week is holy. I will not instruct you on this, because it leads to a religious spirit. I want your heart, not your lip service and obedience to the law. Yes, I can hear the stones flying through the air now. This attitude of heart is deadly to a personal relationship with Me. You will note, it was the scribes and pharisees that refused their hearts to Me, because I did not support their Sabbath rules in a way suitable to them.

“Do you know what one of their main concerns was with Me? I threatened their income from the sale of sacrifices and coin changing. Yes, they garnered quite a nice income on all that went on in the temple

precincts and their greatest threat was that they no longer would have an income from these illicit activities. That is a wrinkle. The habit of having more and better caused them to twist their consciences in order to provide for their excesses.

“Some of you, especially the young ones, will over-react in fear to this. Please, My precious dear ones, this is not condemnation of you. It is to make you aware of the righteousness of God and how very deep it goes. Most of you do not have properly formed consciences. You were not raised on the Word in a holy household. So I must take you back to those roots and reveal to you how some of the things you were never taught are important.

“But I am not a legalistic God. I am full of mercy, understanding and forgiveness. I want your heart. I want you to love Me, to trust Me, to come to Me and speak with Me about your weaknesses, your sin and insecurities and fears. I want to help you overcome these things.

“If you have something you cannot change and you fear it is displeasing to Me, talk to Me about it. I will help you.It may not even be wrong-doing on your part. It may very well be from the father of lies, who is continually trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

“Yes! Condemnation is his favorite tool. Why, you ask? Because if he can convince you that you are bad and worthless, and that I am a severe judge, you will avoid Me and never come into My arms and trust Me.

“So, do not over-react to this message. Rather take it as a checklist. You are going on a journey, you need to get your things together. Work on your list and I will help you with each thing you are afraid to face. Use your Bible Promises to verify whether something is right or wrong. Watch for things in your environment, a sign from Me: a bird singing, a heart shape in your food or a leaf on the ground. A love song in the store, a sweet wash of contentment suddenly flooding over your soul. These are ways I encourage you and show you that I am not only with you but I approve of you and all your efforts are indeed pleasing to Me.

“So, what I am telling you, in a nutshell, is simply prepare yourself in repentance to meet Me. Just as you would wash and shower before a big event, wash yourself in My love and forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to confess anything. Remember, I was there when it happened and I will forgive what you confess. Let’s do this together.

“I am all for you, I will sustain you in your weakness, I will not abandon you. I love you deeply, do not be afraid.”

Kenya Mission Trip, Nothing I Expected But Everything I Needed!

 

 

 

 

 

REPENTANCE
“I am going to convict you of your motives this coming week. I am
going to expose attitudes and habits that have hindered you and
prevented you from becoming who you truly are in Me. Some things
may come as a shock to you, when you see why you really do what you
do.
“But this is for your own good. This is to remove more spots from
your wedding gown. This is to bring you to repentance. And if any
think more highly of themselves than they do of others, well, you will
discover just how lowly you are. This is a good thing. For truly I lift up
the humble but decrease the stature of the proud.” – (Rhema Book by Clare Du Bois)

Welp, that sums up my trip pretty much LOL. Truly the Lord sent me all the way to Kenya to do a work in my heart, to think I was going to minister to people but, He used this trip to minister to me. So with that said my Kenya Mission trip was not what I expected and everything I needed. It truly superseded my expectations because it was God’s expectation and his perfect plan and will the whole time!

If I would’ve been honest with myself going to Kenya I had many expectation because the Lord had indeed redirected my attention to this mission trip when it was the last thing on my mind. I had been given a dream from him about 6 months ago where I was in Kenya putting on an event and sharing the gospel with the local village ladies. So I knew sometime in the near future I would be going to Kenya just not now. So upon leaving for the next 10 days I thought I was going to Kenya to make a divine connection in order to put this future event together among many expectations of seeing the blind eyes open, captives set free, miracles, signs and wonders! LOL Oh how I am still learning what true ministry is, just every day loving and serving people.

So I found myself stepping unto Kenyan soil and it felt like home for me. I knew this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be at that very moment. We had gone with the main itinerary  to assist and serve for a 4 days Pastors Conference held at CMM. Whereby over 400 pastors from Kenya and Uganda come to be refreshed, renewed, & equipped for their ministries. Once arriving I realized a life of a missionary isn’t always exciting or followed with signs, wonders and miracles but, I found God’s delight in the lowliest of thing. In sweeping, cleaning, serving, washing dishes, praying for people and just merely serving that brought God glory.

The Negative Motive & Attitudes in My heart the Lord showed me through out the week I had to repent for:

    1. Resisting submission to authority
    2. Seeking approval and affirmation from man
    3. Complaining & ungratefulness
    4. Self- righteous attitudes
    5. Pride
    6. Discontentment
    7. Result based motives
    8. Selfish desires
    9. Critical/ judgmental thoughts

Therefore you can see why the Lord began to reveal these issues in m y heart, its so true the saying the Lord heals in layers. Many of these attitudes I thought I was free from but he showed me how I was resisting authority in my heart as everything I felt the Lord telling me to do was shut down as a precaution being a different country, how I was still seeking mans approval to affirm Gods call upon me and being turned down felt like rejection, how I than began to complain instead of being grateful for the opportunity to serve, how quickly it turned to pride/self righteous/ attitude thinking highly of myself, which led to selfish desires of wanting to be used by God in a “big” way, then eventually turning into critical and judgmental thoughts towards others….sheeesh Did I ever tell you how much of a hotmess I am lol but, its okay because as the Lord once said to me ” I am HIS hotmess” haha and how He loves me just the same. What a merciful, gracious and patience God we serve. So if the Lord can still use me, train me, and love me as I am that what makes you think he cant do that for you my friend! I love Jesus

The week before I left for Kenya the Lord gave me two Rhemas the first was to “seek the lowliest place in everything” and the second was “To be servant of all and least of all”. That is exactly what I learned on this trip that a leader is only as good as how they follow and indeed the lowliest place is the best place to be. It means to seek positions, service in places no one else wants to do or go. To also exalt others and their ministries above your own. I found myself immediately praying for my team members, seeing their virtue and value in the group. I began to have so much joy in serving, helping, cleaning and doing whatever I was asked to do. There was sooo much that happened in Kenya that it couldn’t fit in one post, that’s what Youtube is for 🙂 but, the greatest of it all is that the Lord did a work in my heart and that of all my team member’s in the most amazing way. He removed our mask, revealed our hearts to each other than unified us. To serve people, intercede for Kenya and to sow seeds of his love wherever we went!

THE BEST KENYA MISSION TEAM EVER!!
R-L top to bottom
Samuel, Ben, Pastor Aaron, Alex
Daisy, Lesley, Monica, Melissa, Rachel
ME(Nana) Cindy, Kelly, Rebecca, Jenny

19060124_10210610963324476_4642063214116959099_n

-From Jesus With Love