Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

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1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“I AM Shaped By Every Word HE says”

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The song ” I AM NO VICTIM’ from Bethel by Kristene DiMarco has been ringing through my head today even this morning when I got up. I knew it had to be the Holy Spirit and indeed it was for the words are so simple yet, so powerful. In this season,the battle and the fiery trials have been ferocious  as I have  been facing many challenges and things that have tested my faith like never before. Many times I have fallen, many, many times but, in Gods mercy he has picked me back up with his chords of loving kindness. Giving me the grace and courage to forge ahead. I didn’t realize that I was beginning to allow the trials to shape me rather than allowing the fire to refine me and Gods words to shape me. You see the Lord would warn me about fiery trials ahead so I would be prepared and be victorious in my response. However, I would find myself full of fear and anxiety. You see the Lord puts us through fiery trials to refine to clean up everything impure with in us.

Zechariah 13:9
The Lord highlighted this word to me today that I released in 2016. I am feeling this word very strongly for many right now. Be encouraged!

How many times I have prayed that specific prayer. Lord burn everything in me that is not of you, consume me with the fire of your love but when I found myself in the fire I would easily become discouraged and allowing what I was going through to shape me rather then Gods fire to refine me.  So that is where I have found myself utterly downcast, wounded, easily offended, sensitive to remarks against me, feeling rejected and alone.  When the Lord reminds me  in a rehma

”  Do not fear the reproach of man nor be terrified by their insults rather pray for them  for they are scourging me”

Even knowing the enemy will use the closest people around you to shoot his arrows with their words , God uses the closest people to refine you in charity. That when the arrows come you would respond in love and how difficult that has been for me if I may be honest. Through these trials many arrows in my identity have been attacked and I found myself doubting even believing some of them concerning my role in leadership feeling of  not good enough, in friendship going thru betrayals, in relationships feelings of insecurity, in my relationship with Lord feeling judged by others.  I would find myself looking for someone, a loved one I could run too, a confidant who would understand , who would comfort me but found no one….and I should find no one because Jesus is all of these. I found myself running back to him where I should’ve gone too in the first place as he began to impress on my heart..WHO DO I SAY THAT YOU ARE?

Jesus calls me

The anointed one,
His Servant who he has chosen
He has known me before the foundation of the earth
He has redeemed me and I AM his and He is mine
I am his beloved
I bring him delight
I AM beautiful
I share in his promises and have his divine nature
I AM a peacemaker
I AM  a concquery
I AM a gift , a pearl of great price that he has won
I AM  an intercessor
I have the gift of dancing on the devils head with my prayer and intercession
I AM his Warrior Bride
I AM Bold and Courageous like Joshua, a strong leader
The demons HATE that I never give up
I was created to dance in the fire
I AM Fearless and Brave
I AM Jesus’s Hotmess
I Am a laid down lover
I AM a priest
I AM a teacher
I AM a Disciple
I AM loved
I AM Forgiven
I AM not alone
I AM protected
I AM not rejected but accepted
I AM a child, a daughter of the King
I AM  betrothed to the most powerful person in all the universe and he has given me authority
I have Greatness ahead of me
I AM a Holy Saint
I AM NO VICTIM!
He is crazy in love with me with all my weakness
He calls me his own very lowly tool of salvation

…..as the lyrics too Kristene Di Marco songs “I AM NO VICTIM” rings in my head

[Bridge]
I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says
Oh I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says

So who does God say you are? Allow his words to shape and define you. Not the storm, not the trials and definitely not what others say about you. You are not who they say you are but you are who God says you are!

-From Jesus with love

 

 

 

 

 

A Dance With My Father On This Valentines Day

dance with my father

Last night the Lord called me into prayer, well actually the pass two nights he has called me to himself. To drop everything I am doing and come into his presence to spend time with him because he needed my comfort, my worship and my love. However,  yesterday was quite different because instead of me dancing with Jesus I just felt the presence of the Father, of Abba. I imagined myself in this beautiful yellow dress, my hair was curly with a red rose in my hair.  As I began to dance in my Fathers arms, I was so overwhelmed by his gentleness, his love and more so his need for me.  God needs us, he truly does each of us are so unique in our creation from head to toe. In all the world there is not one like us therefore the is no one who can take the place of our presence, of our worship and of our love. There is a specif place in the heart of God for each of us and he misses us when we are not there.

You know in this season of my life I am coming to really cultivate and trust the person of the Abba Father. I know that sounds weird right  lol I have been waling with Jesus for 3 years now and I remember the first year just falling madly in love with Jesus asking to know him more and he has definitely answered my prayer. I am still getting to know him even now, then the second year my prayer was Holy Spirit I want to know you, trust in you learn how to relay on you as my teacher. So I came to love and trust the person of the Holy Spirit. However, it  didn’t hit me until last year when the Lord gave me the word “Child Like Trust” did I realize that I didn’t really know God the Father and I had deep father wounds of abandonment as well. Wow he opened my heart up this last year and uprooting somethings I didn’t even know were their. Then he came in and has scooped me up on his lap to just pour out his love and heart on me. As we were dancing I began to cry because he was telling me how many have him so wrong especially his daughters. Many have been heart, abandoned, rejected even abused by their physical fathers and though they may love him through his son Jesus many don’t know him or more importantly know his heart for them. He is not a Father who is critical, judging, demeaning or more importantly he is not a father who will ever forget them, neglect, abandon and reject them.

As we continued to dance Abba Father in the spirit  He put his head on my forehead and this most gentle loving way and said ” You are your Fathers Daughter” I was taking back by those words and tears began to flow. He continued on saying ” You have so much of me in you, you know that strong willed nature, you get it from me” as he touched my nose with his finger.  How many times have we had wrong labels we have received from our own Fathers, or bad characteristic people associate us with connected to our Fathers. So him saying those words were so freeing for me. I thought to myself ….you u know what WOW, I AM MY FATHERS DAUGHTER, Abba Father!

So I just want to encourage you that is how God sees you, beloved.  Look in the mirror, you see that smile, that nose, that chipped tooth, that dimple, your hair, skin color, height, the way you laugh, your strong personality, your introvert ways, your bright creativity, your logic mind, and so much more. He created you perfectly and even if your earthly Father never treated you well, or wasnt really there physically or emotionally, or spoke negative words over you. My beautiful brother/sister you are your Fathers Child, you are created in his image and he soooo desires to take you away from this mundane world into his. Which is heavenly and filled with love, a supernatural love in which you were created from.  So on this valentines day No longer pursue the love that only your Abba Father can give in men or in a women. Avail yourself to him today in worship, Abba Father is inviting you right now to dance with him. In the most exclusive Daddy and Daughter Dance will you say yes? Close your eyes and you will be surprised how God is so desperately waiting to Dance with you, his beautiful daughter today and lavish his love over you!

 

So I am having Date Night With the Lover of my soul again tonight, for our 3rd year anniversary to dance the night away with my Valentine in worship and Praise!!!

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(1st year’s Date Night 2.14.15 where it all began <3_

 

Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.[a]
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Being Ordained By God

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Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

I am learning in my walk that its a wonderful grace that’s given to all who are ordained by God. For the longest when the Lord called me I was running for man’s approval, man’s validation, and man’s support of what God had called me to do but when God ordains you He calls the unqualified, the unequipped and the uneducated. Those without status, title, and influence to become a light house in their generation. Fortunately, for me I fit all of those qualification and you do too!

When I began to walk in the direction the Lord called me to I got a lot of opposition. Not only from the enemy but many times from well to do meaning Christians who would question what the Lord told me to do because of my many non-qualifications. I too believed I had to go the “normal route” the way everyone has gone who is called by the Lord but I have come to realize that MY WAY was normal and GODS WAY never is lol.  These are some of the few things I heard and some things I have learned:

The first thing the Lord put on my heart was to start a prayer meeting at my apartment my first year for walking with him. I heard “you don’t have a covering so you shouldn’t do that”….actually I heard there
Psalm 91:4 reassures us, “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge”
Learned: I am married to Christ so the Holy Spirit is my covering

As the Lord continued to lead me the Holy Spirit began to impart a love in my heart to pray for everyone that I met or encountered. I heard “ you shouldn’t be so quick to pray for everyone or lay hands only be led by the Lord”
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Learned: God loves everyone and wants to touch everyone through you if you would allow it!

I had many tell me “you need to get a spiritual mother or father to help guide you in this spiritual walk”. So I began searching and the Lord was closing every door.
John 14:26 But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.
Learned: Although having a spiritual mother and father is good in Gods timing the best counselor is the Holy Spirit who is the best spiritual counselor you can have!

I thought I needed to go to seminary school and others told me that I must if I am called to “ministry” However, when the Lord began to confirm that He would teach me I was scoffed at and called prideful to think that God could teach me.
John 6:44-45 For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up. 45 As it is written in the Scriptures,[a] ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me.
Learned:
That in fact God loves to teach his children and by the Holy Spirit, He is the best teacher. Furthermore in scripture he even confirms that many of us in these last days would be taught by him

I find myself today unqualified in my own strength but qualified by Gods grace. I find myself unequipped by my own training but equipped by the trials God has allowed. I find myself uneducation without any vocational ministry studies but educated by the Holy Spirit. I find myself without status in the church but in the Kingdom called a “a royal priest”. I find myself without a title but in the Kingdom titled “a warrior bride”. I find myself having no church pulpit but my life being unraveled before the “cloud of witness” as a platform to impact all of eternity!

 

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

 

Yes you….you also are chosen, anointed, appointed and ordained by God in this generation for such a time as this. He will instruct yo and teach you in the way you should go. He will counsel you with his loving eye on you. Stop looking to men and believe what God has said and called you to. So my brother or sister…Go NOW, go into all the world and make Jesus known!

-From Jesus With Love

Perfect Love Cast Out All Fear

rejection

 

The Lord has been really teaching me about leadership and his love those two things go hand in hand. I went to a our youth ministries leadership conference this past weekend and they had a time where the prophetic ministry at our church gave us at random prophetic words. This has been a difficult week and I asked the Lord if he would give me a word and they did.  The word was that I was surrounded by darkness….(I know right first I was like waa I don’t receive this but wait for it lol). That I was surrounded by darkness feeling pressed on every side but, it was because the darkness was attracted to my light. That I found myself sometimes wondering why do I draw the most interesting people because The Lord has drawn a lot of broken and wounded people around me because he can trust me with them. That I have a gift of relational evangelism and my life would be a testimony for many because of my consistent walk with the Lord. I began to laugh because that is so true and I have noticed that it has become very apparent in this season of my life as I have stepped up in leadership. The Lord continues to remind me that “he has sent me people to love and I shouldn’t turn them away”.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

I have noticed that sometimes in the Body Of Christ unfortunately, we have away of hurting and rejection people out of fear. Sometimes we do it purposefully and sometimes its ignorantly but it all boils down to our lack of love. Everyone is a different levels of freedom in our Christian walk and we can easily talk about that person state under the label of  “being cautious” when it can be gossip saying be careful this person has this spirit, this person has that spirit, this person is struggling with this sin, you don’t want to get to close to them like their a disease or something. Which further caused the person to be rejected again and not walking in any more freedom than they were before. This mentality has broken up many friendships, families, and even churches.Even if the person is indeed is struggling or bound by some spirit we know that are fight is not against flesh and blood so you fight this in the spirit with prayer and with……..LOVE for that person! I have experience this in my own life through church small groups and my own personal experience where I was rejected as well because of Spiritual warfare I was going through. It was so painful to be rejected by my own Christian brothers and sisters who I thought would be the source of encouragement during the most difficult time in walk with the Lord.

Mark 2:13-17
While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

17On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

You see not once was Jesus moved by all the darkness, demonically bound, and spiritual dead people around him when he walked this earth. So why do we as Christians? Jesus first perfect in his love because He was and is Love! He was so confident in who He was, in Who He served and the power that was with in him. As Christians were called to do the same. It is important to seek God for wisdom in all things but, were called to take authority over spirits of darkness and to be friends to the sinners. We are the light of the world so they will be drawn to our light and that’s okay because that’s when we can impact them with the love and power of Jesus Christ. I love what Jesus said that its not the healthy that needs a doctor but, the sick. So when we see our Christians brothers and sister sick, struggling with a lust of the flesh, or strongholds or even the lost who are sick spiritually they are the ones that need Jesus the most and not to be rejected or outcast because they are not free.

The scripture says the one who fears is not made perfect in love. Wow so as a Christian if we fear we then allow the evil spirits of this world to have more power over us. When the  word of God says greater is in me than who is in the world! So when you find yourself around those who are in darkness that’s a great opportunity to allow your light to shine even brighter rather than being afraid of  being attacked, trusting or even loving them. Most importantly as a leader its important to realize the Lord has called you to bind the wounds of the hurting, to go after the lost and that can only be done with his perfect love. You will never serve perfect people and if you are then your not really serving the Lord lol. So Perfect love cast out all fear. Ask the Lord to perfect your love.

-From Jesus with love

Rejecting God To Seek Men

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When we surrender to the Lord we find ourselves so full of his love. We become so grateful of his grace to not only save us but make himself known to us. Oh, how wonderful that is! Then you want to share your testimony, your faith and him with everyone but, soon find many reject him. You don’t seem to understand why they don’t get it, why they don’t get Him, Jesus Christ and his wonderful grace for them. Oh how his heart breaks and sometimes you can even feel that grief and if your anything like me you will make a vow not to ever reject him as long as you live….by his grace of course. Even reading the scriptures of the Gospel and seeing how the Pharisees, the Jews, even though from his own city rejected him and I began to wonder being grieved again how could they. A few months ago I was so grieved looking at our nation, our world and so many still reject him and how its hurts him so deeply.

Then the Lord spoke to me and said you have rejected me and I said Yes, Lord before I knew you but I am all yours living for you now. I love you. Then He said No, even now you reject me and I said Lord how?! and He said seeking the affirmation from men and rejecting who I said you are and called you to be. Does my opinion not matter?….I melted

You see when I surrendered the Lord ask me to lay down not only my will, but my dreams, gifts and aspiration to follow him. I was CEO of An national African scholarship pageant called Face of Africa, I had my own clothing & Jewelry line called Nana O Couture, and I was just beginning to get my feet wet in acting again. I had told myself 2014 was the year to be fearless and move to NY to follow my dreams but, then the Lord interrupted as he always does right lol He revealed himself to me bringing me to my knees and asked me to lay all that down to follow him and wait on him.  At first I kept wondering what am I waiting for then he opening my mind to visions and dreams he showed me he had called me for His use, for His purpose for ministry to be a servant of the Lord. I first thought “Me” Lord really, I never would have thought so I was so excited upon waking up when I had my calling dream seeing myself on  televised stage praying and binding the enemy I then immediately text close family members that I finally realized what the Lord has called me to do! However,  there response wasn’t what I expected no one really affirmed the dream at all then that’s when my doubting came in.  So I began to seek the affirmation  & confirmation of men who didn’t seem to see the call on my life. In the process continually rejecting what the Lord had shown me in dreams and spoken to me about in his word. Hence, rejected him over and over.

I remember having a clear vision of me running after crowds of people for a word of affirmation, confirmation as to who they think that I am and seeing the Lord  far from me left all alone with his head down feeling neglected and rejected by me because to be honest his word wasn’t enough for me…sad but, true

I began to strive in all that I did so others would maybe see the anointing of God upon my life and if they praised me I was so excited and encouraged however, if they didn’t see it I would then be discouraged doubting that God has called me to use me.

John 12:43 – For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.


I remember even going to be counseled by an evangelist and she asked me what I was doing with my life and exciting told her God has called me for ministry and she asked how did I know. So I told her the Lord told me and he revealed it of course she paused for a moment then said sometimes we can interpret dreams wrong and that I shouldn’t be stagnant. I should start my business again, and if “I” want to go into ministry that I should take some bible course part time. To say the least I was confused, down trotted and utterly discouraged. However, the Lord reminded Nana again what did “I” tell you. Stop looking for the affirmation of men, pastors, prophets. I even had a dream where he was warning me about running too pastors and prophets he gave me the scriptures

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

When the Lord called me he told me to wait on him, so everyone thought I was crazy for just stopping everything I was doing and just wait. Family members unknowing and lovely tried to push me to do something rather than just sit and being idle or so they thought. Not knowing God has and is continuing to work on my heart, mind, soul and spirit daily to be more like him. He is trying and testing me I need to show myself approved ONLY to GOD and NO ONE ELSE! I was reminded when a pastor made a statement that if you take credit for failure doing the work of God then you will take credit for the success of the work of God. Wow, what a powerful statement and one I need to be reminded of everyday.

Galatian 1:10
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

So what has the Lord said about YOU, that you are not believing, what labels have been put on you that you need to take off or better yet have you been seeking your purpose, your identity and calling through others or only by Jesus Christ? Its definitely a learning, stretching and growing process but Trust God, Trust what he speaks to you, what he shows you and what his word says. (preaching to myself right now hehe) The Holy Spirit is the best teacher so “He” will teach us and guide us into all truth and to know that we shouldn’t ever live to seek the approval of men but, only of God and guess what he says about you…. and me too APPROVED!  God bless you, Love you but, know he loves you more!

-approved