Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

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When You Mess Up, Don’t Run From Him But Too Him

Jesus hugs man

I found myself this weekend kind of avoiding my alone time with the Lord as my heart and mind were swarming with thoughts of discouragement, frustration, weariness, discontent, and confusion. For the past couple of days I have been having difficulty in hearing from the Lord clearly and I would seek him for a rhema word  yet not really understand what he was directing me to do. I was getting words from him about “Laziness” twice in a row (eeeh I hate getting that besides sin and pride, makes me cringe) The rhema book provided scriptures on slothfulness so anytime the Holy Spirit gives me laziness it definitively not a good thing. He then also gave me rhemas about specifically being given priceless gifts from heaven and I need to use them or on that day before the Lord I will have many sorrows. So I felt the Holy Spirit telling me  I am being passive or lazy about work, ministry work to be exact. Not utilizing my gifts for the kingdom with the time he has given me. The confusion came because I am not working at this time which I strongly believe was a commission from the Lord to trust him to open the door to the place he wants me at and not just any job.  Then he gave me another rhema of “Submitting to Authority” I began to see how serious he was thinking what have I missed because I have been patiently waiting for 8 months, so getting this word twice threw me in a spat of confusion. Which of course opened the door to the enemies oppression.

James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I began to entertain lies from the enemy and get in my flesh. I found myself complaining and honestly being frustrated with the Lord ( I know) but, I was. It has been difficult this season being back home believing it was God’s will. Babysitting watching my nieces pretty mush the whole half of the day whiles my sister works. Then trying to squeeze ministry work in late at night even staying up way into the AM just to get things done. So as I began to resist the Lords admonishments I opened my heart to receive all the arrows of the enemy saying ” I missed God”, “whats the point”, “everything I am doing is in vain anyway” “what I am doing is not good enough”, “He was the one who told you to come here so how can he expect you to be focused in this environment”. Yes I began to entertain all these thoughts and lies, as I did I began to run to food for comfort as well in the midst of my fast, just feeling like throwing in the towel to give up already. Thoughts of overwhelming sadness, my heart hurting, disappointment grief, and condemnation came over me. So I knew I had to rush into prayer to repent, ask the Lord to clean my heart but I had been avoiding this the whole day. I knew Jesus doesn’t condemn but, I kept thinking oh how I bet he will be disappointment and I deserve this oppression and to be honest I just didn’t feel like praying .

(SIDE NOTE: SPIRITUAL WARFARE 101 Whenever in your walk with the Lord you don’t feel like praying that’s when you NEED TO PRAY all that the more!)

However, when I finally stop fighting my flesh and got into prayer so I can pour my heart out before the Lord in tears. I saw a picture impression upon my heart, of course it wasnt a mad God who had his finger pointing at me saying “how could you”, I am mad at you, or even disappointment. No, I saw Jesus with the sweetest smile just waiting and before I could say or do anything I felt him say “Come hear” and he held me ever so tightly so close to his heart as my head was under his chin. All I could do was began to cry and cry. After a few of him holding me I wanted to let go and look him in the face and he wouldn’t let me as if to say. Its okay, just rest hear don’t be so quick to do anything but just stay right here and He held me even more tightly with the greatest compassion and love. I was like Jesus I don’t deserve this, and he said your right you don’t but its my mercy and love for you, that will never change. We had the sweetest communion and of course the Holy Spirit picked the best songs about falling short, stumbling into sin and the last to not give up!

I realized in prayer that I had been walking in a posture of entitlement before the Lord which the root is all pride. That in giving my whole life to the Lord and upon walking in obedience in the midst of this suffering I deserved some things and If they were not coming I had every right to be frustrated. I couldn’t believe how nasty my heart was, wow that I felt entitled. I felt the holy spirit tell me “We don’t deserve his goodness or his judgment”. Wow, we don’t deserve neither, when the Lord saves us, transforms us and even reveals himself to us its all by his mercy. We don’t deserve any of that and when we walk in condemnation, guilt or shame and we believe or the enemy tells us we deserve consequences that’s a lie because we don’t deserve that either. Jesus took upon the cross all of these things so we can walk free freedom as a son or daughter of God without condemnation. How many Christians feel that way in their hearts sometimes and both thoughts make us run away from God rather than too him. The beautiful thing is what we are entitled too as Christians is Free grace, mercy, love, compassion, and companionship because of the sacrifice and blood of our sweet Jesus! SO RUN TO HIM NOT FROM HIM, YOU ARE FORGIVEN!

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

People Are A Gift From God!

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One day a few weeks I went and a walk with the Lord just talking to him about some recent situations I went though where I was hurt by someone I cared about. I continued speaking to him about my past wounds from others and He said “They are all gift to you, every person I have brought in your life is a gift to you. Whether they have been good to you or not they are all my precious gifts to you” I was flabbergasted to say the least but the Holy spirit began to give me a deeper understanding of what he was saying. Those in my life who have hurt me have caused me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and even bare much fruit for him. So many times and just in our society we discount people, we hold sometimes okay let me be honest, in our generation we hold material things, class, status, even animals at a greater esteem then people. However, that is so backwards because in all of creation were the only ones  created in Gods image and he made us just a little lower then the angels:

Hebrew 2:6-7
What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor

You see the Lord has chosen man as his dwelling place. Not a temple, not a building, not a location, not a mountain, not even the sky but he has chosen his son’s and daughters to indwell within then by the Holy Spirit. So when we love on people we don’t just love on them but we love on God!

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

At that time of this conversation I was pouring out my heart to the Lord telling him of the pain of being accused, slandered and talked against. I began to compare my walk with him to others around me. Complaining that my walk seemed so much more difficult and he said its because of your calling….(which I still don’t know by the way, don’t you love when he continues to leave you hanging but still yearning for more of him lol). The Holy spirit then put this on my heart that when we measure and compare our suffering based on what others go through rather than what Christ went through for us then that could lead us into depression, resentment, bitterns and even unforgiveness. Furthermore, if the measure of Gods glory and favor on our lives becomes based on comparing ourselves to others than it can easily lead to pride. Looking down on others and even thinking you’re more spiritual mature but, the only measure in all things should be and is Jesus Christ, his glory and his suffering. Neither of these can compare to man’s suffering or glory we go partake in on the earth. So my little measly suffering I am going through is nothing compared to what Jesus did on the on the cross for me…..so to say the least that shut me up real quick lol but, it was such a beautiful revelation.

He went on to say that people indeed are the greatest gifts on this earth and that did I forget that he uses ALL things for my good.  He uses people to fulfill his purpose upon the earth and even in our lives. Every person he has brought in my life has made me better. He has brought people in my life to encourage me, to propel me when I felt like I couldn’t go forward. He brought people in my life to love me to show me what his heart looks like in order that I may began to love also. Then he has brought people in my life to teach me lessons, to allow the uglies in my own heart to be brought to the light so that may repent and have a pure heart. He has brought people in my life who have hurt me which allows me to exercise patience, forgiveness to grow in virtue and bare much fruit for him. So that’s why this person and all people are a gift good or bad.

I would like to share two vision one from a pastor and the other from a man who went to heaven. The pastor stated the Lord gave him a vision one day of  being taking to this art gallery and he saw a huge monument  of a man beautifully chiseled from head to toe. This man looked exquisite almost out of this world he was in awe when he saw it and asked Jesus who is this man? and Jesus said “its you”. He was in speechless, then Jesus asked would you like to see the two man who created this masterpiece he said yes…and the Lord took him to the other side of the monument and he was in complete shock. There were two men he recognized very well. He actually had despised them for a time because they were two critics of his ministry. They came to church every Sunday, sat on the front row for years and wrote many articles to tear down his ministry however, the Lord told him to continue to love on them and forgive them. Jesus stated that he used them to bring out much fruit and virtue in him so in fact they brought the best out in him. Isn’t that amazing! The second vision was a man who went to heaven and he stated that the greatest attribute in heaven will not be the knowledge you gain, the things you see or have access too but it will be the citizens of heaven. Each person is like heaven, for they radiate the purest love and joy that you will ever encounter…haha isn’t that wonderful, each person is like heaven itself that makes me smile!

So if we would then began to see people as gifts as they are, if we see children as the greatest gift then we would no longer abort or even consider abortion. If we see family and friends as gifts, if we would see strangers as gifts, if we would see especially those who hurt as the greatest gifts because the Lord uses ALL things for his glory. If you give him the pain, the memory and see from his perspective he will use that person to chisel the most beautiful heart you will ever see….it will be Gods heart now in yours then all you will know how to do is to love everyone despite what they do because they are gift to you, being used to refine, purify and create the purest heart in you. So you can be all that God has called you to be!

Love waits patiently for God’s timing. Love is gentle and shows kindness to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect; nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love finds delight in the truth, not in what is wrong. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things—and still remains strong.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation