Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

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              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

Holy Week: The Lord Is Looking For Fruit Of Repentance

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This is my first time truly observing Lent and really coming before the Lord to have his way in me. To remove anything in me that displeases him and oh how he has taken me upon that offer or better yet I don’t think it was my inclination at all. It was his and he simply wanted to let me in on what he was going to do anyway lol. So there has been a lot of trials  where I can see the Lord is testing my faith, ridding me of fear, testing my patience,  having temptation to return back to the lust of the world and really calling me deeper in surrender. He has had me at his feet so that I may come to know him more, grow in discernment and have deeper fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

He has had me at his feet also on Sundays, where I learn from him the most and this past Sunday woke up feeling completely exhausted after prayer as I thought to myself “Lord maybe I should go to church today because after all it is Palm Sunday. However, he put a desire in my heart that he wanted to teach me about Palm Sunday what it really means and the significance to our Christian walk. So this blog is expressing the ideas of a minister whom the Lord led me to listen too to learn the true meaning of Palm Sunday and further more Lent. It such amazing revelations and gave me a greater understanding that this “religious holiday” is not just to be recognized or just to do a devotional and then go right back to the way things were before. No, the Lord is indeed wanting to purify and call us all to repentance. A word were not really familiar with in this generation that no longer desires to be talk about sin but  only God’s grace it seems thereby living like the world but professing Jesus. Furthermore, causing this generation lack greatly in personal holiness and that is what the Lord is desiring that we be holy as he is holy. He then offers “grace” to obtain that! Either way I am just like the rest for truly I am a working progress and have much willful sin the Lord is dealing in me daily Pride, Self righteousness, Jealously, Gossip, Lust the list goes on however he continues to remind me as he shows me all these hidden sin. That his grace is available for me to overcome this sins, baring fruit to really live a holy life. So may this Holy Week be a week where we all give ourselves over the Lord for him to prune us and bare fruit worthy of repentance

Palm Sunday: Fruit of Repentance Sermon Notes

Matthew 21:1-11
Now when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples,
 saying to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, ‘The Lord needs them,’ and he will send them at once.” This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet, saying,

“Say to the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your king is coming to you,
humble, and mounted on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.’”

 The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” 10 And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, “Who is this?” 11 And the crowds said, “This is the prophet Jesus, from Nazareth of Galilee.”

Bethany means “house of figs” while Btehpage is house of “un-ripe figs”
-Jesus left a house full of believers into a town of people shouting his praise who lacked repentance for they soon would be the ones to yell “crucify him”
-“Figs” symbolize Fruit of repentance The Triumphal Entry of Jesus was foreshadowing of a Parable being acted out ” the Parable of the Fig Tree”

The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree Luke 13:6-9

And he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

Jesus ministry was for 3 1/2 years to the Jewish people, the fig tree baring no fruit was the Jewish people and the “man” is God the father coming to retrieve fruit from his chosen people but finds none and wants to cut it off. However, our beloved Jesus the “vinedresser” tells the Father no give Jewish people more time and if not then cut them down. We know know it means to give salvation to the Gentiles first instead of the Jews who ended up rejected him!

Back to the Triumphal Entry
He rode on ass before riding on a colt , the ass represents the Jews and the Colt represents the Gentiles. The Lord came to the Jews first but they rejected him and the Gentiles repented and accepted him to receive salvation.
-The Palm leaves were a sign of great triumph not only in Christian art but victory in sports hence the crowd waiving pal branches
-During this time of lent he has been looking for fruit worthy of repentance. He has come again to check our “Fig trees”, to see if we are baring fruit worthy of repentance.
Oh, how easily we praise him with Palm leaves in our hands one day then the next we crucify him with our sinful ways actions. How easily we can be so much like the crowd, tossed too and fro in commitment from one day to the next.
Jesus knew men were fickle so he never  entrusted himself to any man ( John 2:24)

The Lesson of The Fig Tree Matthew 24:32-35
And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather His elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as it branches become tender and sproutleaves, you know that summer is near.  So also, when you see all these things, you will know that He is near, right at the door

So what is the lesson in all of this? The branches are tender in this generation Jesus is coming very soon!

  • Will the Lord find Holy people in his church today when he comes to check the Fig Tree? Will the Lord find fruit on your tree worthy of repentance when he comes to check?

We must commit ourselves to holiness, charity in serving others and sanctity lets ask the Lord for these graces and to prune us so we may be a fruitful bride!

 

-From Jesus With Love

Call of Action: As Christians We Must Wake Up and Stand In Truth!

LEFT BEHIND WARNING TO THE CHURCH 2

Jeremiah 19:4-6
For they have forsaken me and made this a place of foreign gods; they have burned incense in it to gods that neither they nor their ancestors nor the kings of Judah ever knew, and they have filled this place with the blood of the innocent. They have built the high places of Baal to burn their children in the fire as offerings to Baal—something I did not command or mention, nor did it enter my mind.So beware, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when people will no longer call this place Topheth or the Valley of Ben Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter.

My heart grieves now more than it ever did in prayer because the heart of the Father grieves for what has been going on in our nation for so many years. We as his children,  the majority of his sons and daughter have sat silently and allowed darkness to take over our nation. If I can be honest, I too was silent for so many years or you can say indifferent . I was pro-choice, I was a democrat, not at all concerned with my country, more or less  not concerned with my future and not at all  concerned with eternity. So I thought was down to a woman’s choice, who are we to take someones free will. I mean I wouldn’t do it (say’s the person who has never been pregnant) but, if other ladies wanted to “who was I” to stop them.

Call of Action for Christians:

However, that is just the point as a christian “Who are you?” Let me tell you what you are called to be. You are sent here to testify of the true light which is Christ, You are a child of God who is a sojourner on this earth with a heavenly citizenship. You are called too live for things above and not things of the earth. You are called too be in this world but, not of this world. You are called too pray for those in authority and leaders in our government. You are called too make disciples of Jesus Christ teaching them how to obey his statues. You are called too be examples, imitators of Christ and living sacrifices. You are called too stand up before leaders and proclaim Gods word with boldness. You are called too be set apart Holy as are Father is Holy.  You  are called too speak whatever the Lord puts in your mouth and not be afraid of rejection. You are called too serve only One God, the true living God and have no other idols before him. You are called too to save others by snatching them out of the fire. You are called too subdue the earth and advance the Kingdom of God upon the earth. You are called too take back territory from the kingdom of darkness that whatsoever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatsoever you  lose on earth will be lose in heaven. You are called too prepare the way of the Lord! That is who who you are but, many, too many of us go on silently and selfishly living our lives. However, the Lord is sounding a Clarion Call today that the children of God must arise and take back this nation!! You must choose this day whom you will serve? Will you continue serving your family by not speaking out because you will be made fun or fear rejection? Will you continue to serve your Party, the Democratic Party that is so full of elite leaders who want the demise of this nation and are for murdering babies, Will you continue to serve your race  because you are a minority or African American thinking the republican party hasn’t been for “our kind” so you just cant vote for them? Will you continue to serve the world and culture that say’s its not your problem everyone has rights so stay out of peoples business? Will you continue to serve yourselves and do nothing at all, maybe not even vote because God will have his way with or without you? No, we must serve God as believers we must unite under what unites us Jesus Christ and his word. By allowing that to be our foundation and identity nothing else. We must recognize we will be held accountable for what we do and what we didn’t do when we stand before God. We will be held accountable for continuing to vote and be apart of a party that is completely against God ways. More importantly we will be held accountable for the innocent blood of babies that will be on our hands if you say nothing or do nothing.  We must wake up church and notice the signs are everyone the fig tree is due to be ripe any moment, Jesus is coming back in our generation! These babies are not just killed but, they are bodies are harvested and used for horrific things, satanic rituals etc its so heartbreaking but, very true. There is not time for us to slumber and keep our heads in the sands like ostriches trusting God will do something about it. For he already has, he sent you! Yes, you hear upon this earth to be his ambassador or righteousness so its time to fight on our knees, fight in the voting booths and stand on truth unmoved by the opposition because we are already victorious!

 

“The time for indignation is past; now is the time for action. The church has thickened on her lees, it is time for her to awaken the world and take an active roll in seeing to it that righteousness reigns in this country.

“Your president cannot do this alone. He needs every man and woman on board with his agenda. It is your prayers for the nation, your outcries, your educating those who are ignorant, your active roll in fighting this massive front of evil until it comes crashing down……And it’s not all about how you feel – it’s your commitment to doing the right thing when it’s inconvenient. Will you go out of your way for a serious discussion with one of your children who doesn’t know her right hand from her left as far as the battles of the powers of evil vs. good in this nation? Will you stand the heat when you are scorned for your perspective? How much are you willing to invest? That will determine your return.”- Jesus
(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

Call to Action for Mothers:

We have allowed just as it was in the times of old, during Jeremiahs time to have the elite and leaders of this nation continue to follow their foreign gods and sacrifice on the altar of Moloch. Nothing has changed, when you read the bible many see it as historical especially in the new testament but its the living word. We lie in the same times right now where the Altar of Moloch now looks different and has subtlety been introduced as “abortion”. Statics show that 881,0000 children are killed every year thru abortion in America (Stats on abortions) . We have surpassed Jeremiahs time and the Lord is grieving all of heaven is grieving. We must understand that God is very serious about his word so when we serve other ‘gods” and continue to shed innocent blood it calls forth his judgment. No, the Lord will never and cannot understand abortions there is no case in his eyes that will be justified when you stand before him, you know why? Because HE IS IN CONTROL the Lord allows everything in our life. He was aware of that mother who got raped and find herself pregnant, He was aware of the young girl with health issues now is with child, He was aware of the mother finding out her child will have disabilities. He is aware of every case and He is the one that gave these women their children as gifts! (Psalm 127) Only if they would come to trust him, he knows each personas circumstance yet in all of what we think is “mess” the Lord sees it fit and right for the greatest blessing not only to the world but, that mother would need, a child.  So if your a sister reading this and the Lord led you hear its to wake you up from the lies that have swarmed your mind and heart. God has given you the greatest gift that you need. He has already made provision for you and his child.  The child you are carrying has come with gifts from heaven this world needs so please don’t kill this child. You have a very real enemy who continue to put suggestions in your mind has lied to you through family, friends, even doctors because He knows in the eyes of God this is murder and not only that it breaks Gods heart.  He knows your future is filled with hope and success if you would trust God. So don’t look to the left or the right but trust him, it may not be easy but everything will be okay.

 

Jesus began, “I am so glad you mentioned the reasons people are willing to kill an unborn child. Oh, My people, what is your thinking? ‘I shouldn’t have this child now, because I can’t afford it?’ Do you know who brought that pressure to bear in your thinking? It surely wasn’t ME. I gave you the gift of that child with ALL the provision you would ever need, if you will consider raising the little one according to My plans and not the world’s.

“How foolish to think that you can’t have a child without thousands of dollars put away. Please, do not think as the World thinks. Rather, trust Me. That I will provide. Because I will! And trust that I know what I am doing when I choose the time for the child to be born.

“There is no greater gift or grace in your life, other than salvation of your soul and your husband or wife, than the gift of a child. Children do not need adults to raise them. As a matter of fact, most of you only become adults after you have a child. So, it is My provision to accelerate you into a new level of life that brings with it Godly maturity.
-Jesus

(still small voice ministry: Prophetic message Apology for Neglecting You & Why never Abortion)

Call to Action to Our Leaders:

Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others.
Leaders of this nation are in their offices because God has planted them there. He is so wise that he even uses those who are against him for his glory. Many times just like what the children of Israel, when the people no longer wanted Gods judgments or statues to be their guiding light he gives them over to exactly what they wanted. Which never ends well and that is what he has done to America. A nation that was once for God,  began to remove God thru many former presidents and leader. Removing his decrees, his statues, and even his name out of many influential places in our nation. So once we have God out the devil then has a way in. However, the Lord has raised up his servant a prayerful president who is being transformed by the Holy Spirit to lead this nation back to righteousness. The Leaders who are against Donald Trump are not against just a mere man alone but they contend with God. We know that if God is before us who can be against us! The evil and wickedness in the heart of these man and leaders will not prevail against the King of Kings and the Lord of  Host mighty in battle. The Lord is looking for leaders who will stand in righteousness, leaders who may not like Donald Trump but, believe in where he is taking this nation. He will remove those leaders who continue to fight against him. Leaders who continue to show themselves as upright in the eyes of man but, do the most wicked heinous things in the dark. All that is hidden will be brought to the light by God in due time. For this nation is the Lords, and before the foundation of the earth he had it in mind to raise this nation up in the endtimes to be a beacon of light to all the other surrounding nations.  What God said he will do and nothing can stop his decree especially when his people are praying! As a leader will you stand with God? Will you stand to make America great again? or will you continue wander blindly with a stiff neck and an obtuse mind? Please pick wisely your nation and eternity depends on it.

“For far too long people have turned a deaf ear to the complaints of those who are grieved by the corruption of this nation. Now is the time to flush the corruption from the soil of this nation so that she may arise in newness of life. This process is always painful; purification is never easy. Decay and death have been the basis for the majority of this nation’s politicians. Maintaining the status quo, passing over the real moral issues and straining on gnats. The time for that is over. I, myself, will see to it that evil is flushed from this government and its deceptive arm, the media.
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

Facts of Truth

To be honest the Lord keeps me away fro the news and rightfully so. There is so much rancor, division, slander and so much more that enters the heart of his children when we listen to news or seek after things he didn’t lead us too. But what I am about to reveals is not a conspiracy, its not something out a sci-fi film but is the devastation and disgusted truth of wickedness in our nation and the darkness that surrounds many souls. It was all the Lord’s doing to expose planning parenthood for what they were really doing for so many years. Taking fetus of unborn children and selling it on the black market.Aborted Fetuses Sold . The saddest part is their clients weren’t lowly, inhumane thugs that take these babies body parts. No, it is the elite in our nation, the rich, the powerful, political leaders, the wealthy business owners that are caught up in the most horrific satanic rituals in killing children, kidnapping them and torturing them. In prayer a few months ago as I was praying for these children I saw a 12 year old boy he seemed around that age, he was in some underground tunnel or cave, completely naked and scared to death. I knew he was being hunted, yes it was a human hunt for his life. Then a few days ago as the Lord commissioned us to pray for the trafficked children I felt a tingly sensation in my right hand during prayer. Then I received an impression that it was a child from the cloud of witness who had come to pray with me in the spirit. The child grabbed my hand as we began to pray all I could do was cry. So not only are they taken to be used for pleasure but,for torture. I was unaware of all these things until the Lord brought it up. Its seems so far from my mind and my world I just couldn’t believe. That humans would take little children and torture them for adrenaline and their blood just to get high. Which is what led me to do the blog as the Lord has burdened me to speak out and let truth be known as to what is really going on!. Many of these things sound like something out of a movie but, these are all satanic rituals and I have come to understand that those who follow Satan have a decree that is standard that before they do anything that must show the public. So why not in entertainment so no one will take it seriously and they continue on in this travesty. So daily.com does a fine job on explaining what is really going on with kidnapped children and trafficked children they are tortured for Adrenochrome, a chemical known since at least the 1930s. Kids tortured for Adrenochrome .So this has been going on for several years in our nation and government. I believe longer than that, torturing children to drink their blood all by the deep state and cabal (the elite) some, which are apart of the Democratic Party. This is what is going on in our nation, in our own government if we don’t take a stand for truth, a stand for righteousness and a stand for our President Donald! We must rise up and shake off the sleep that has had us under and say no more! America is the Lord’s, Our Children belong to the Lord, and our Future belongs to the Lord!! Stand with me saints, stand with me in prayer and boldly proclaim truth where it calls for it!

“My people, I am dead serious. Rise up and claim dominion over this land. Rise up or perish with it. This is no time to run after your pleasures and distractions. This has been your behavior of the past and that’s what they are counting on. But now you are informed. And you are not of this world.”

“Greater is He that dwells in you than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4

“Stand up and take dominion. You are not alone, the hosts of Heaven are marching with you. I am with you, in you and working through you. Stand. Stand up and take dominion.”
-Jesus

(still small voice channel: Prophetic Message Red Heifer Vision & Interpretation: CALL TO ACTION)

 

A Surprise Birthday Gift From Jesus and Blessed Mother

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James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

 

I love that Jesus is so full of surprises and he loves to give us gifts we don’t expect. He loves to see the joy and delight on our faces when wonderful things are given to us unexpected! I turned 34 years old about 3 weeks ago, cant believe that really, I am almost half way to 40 lol What a blessing that is though, and this has been a year of refinement, crushing, breaking and pressing. I have also had a lot of alone time with the Lord as he teaches me to be faithful with the small things without seeing any fruit. So I was so surprised when I got a message from a young lady off facebook who mentioned she had seen some of my fb live videos which had really blessed her. That she wanted to  invite me to speak at their churches youth conference. I was in shock, thinking me really and then I became nervous really quickly lol. Most would say Nana, you nervous why you speak all the time. However, I had never really preached before and more so in front of a church so I was. As the weeks went by I had another commitment to a prison ministry and I wasnt sure of the date of this event. I knew my birthday was coming up but I had no plans, wanted to be low key and really not do anything. So two weeks until my birthday she tells me its on November 10th which is the day of my birthday! I had to laugh because I just knew it was Jesus saying “Surprise” Happy Birthday this is one of the many things I have been preparing you for.

So for the few days leading up to my first time preaching I sat at the Lords feet. Let me be honest I sprawled out and cried at his feet saying Lord help me please, I have no idea what to say or how to preach” lol. So many insecurities and fears just popping up but, the Lord gave me the sweetest rhema the morning of my birthday and it simply stated ” Don’t worry about your misery I will strengthen you with my Graces” at that moment realized its never really about me and my lack. In fact the reason I lack allows the Lord graces to flow through me more. So I preached my first message on my birthday which was about letting the youth know their identity and raising them up to be prepared as soldiers in the Lords End Times Army! The Holy Spirit had even given me a word the day before that there was  spirit of suicide trying to oppress many of the youth in that church. So as I declared these things many people stood up surprised to me to receive prayer of deliverance. I was in awe of the Lord and so humbled that he would use me in that way.
Thank you Jesus for the wonderful Birthday gift!

In addition, a few weeks prior to that the Lord had began teaching me about the saints and our Blessed Mother Mary. Now growing up a protestant this was so far from me and I had many reservations, ignorant and judgmental thoughts against this way of prayer my whole life. However, as the Lord was leading me to grow in the fullness of my faith I became open to what the Holy Spirit was leading me to do. (this topic can be another blog withing itself lol but you can find my videos on youtube) I made post about this on facebook in my excitement and got so much backlash from peers who had been raised to think this was completely wrong but I still stuck to my conviction.  I began to share with my peers the power of her intercession. Also my very real experiences and visitation I had. So that night, the church gave all the speakers a gifts bag a a consolation for us coming to speak. Which was such another delight because I wasnt expecting anything I then looked inside my bag and in it was a beautiful white rosary.  This was a holy spirit filled, charismatic non denominational church so I was in awe again and immediately I knew it was a gift from our Blessed Mother! You see I had lost my rosary several weeks prior and from hence forth was using my fingers to pray. My Father had a rosary he wanted to give me but I hadn’t received it yet. So there I looked at it as I knew in my heart the Blessed Mother was also saying ” Surprise, Happy Birthday”! lol.

Thank you Blessed Mother for this wonderful Birthday gift

Rosary

 

New Life Fellowship Church : Youth In Action Conference

Jesus Says ” Get Ready For The Journey”

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This is a prophetic messages from Heartdwellers.org given too Ms. Clare Dubois however the Lord gave this message as a rhema this morning and had me really examining my heart. Seeking the Holy Spirit for hidden sins in my heart and areas where I haven’t repented. The Lord has told us that the rapture is pending and he is coming for a bride who is spotless and without blemish. Its not just good enough that we have salvation  but he is coming for a bride with a pure heart. We cannot be perfect but he is looking for “perfect repentance”. A bride who is desiring to be  holy as her bridegroom is holy. Here is the message below:

The Lord Jesus is preparing us Heartdwellers. He’s on His
way and wants His Bride ready.

Jesus began “Getting ready. Getting ready to meet Me. Preparing their hearts before My mirror and asking forgiveness for what they see that is not right. “All these years My people have gone one of two ways: being constantly guilty or constantly OK – like, ‘nothing wrong here.’ But now I am asking for a deeper look. A more candid look, not glossing anything over. It is incomprehensible to you, My children, the demands of personal holiness. Because of My mercy, much is overlooked. But rather than be shocked, as that young boy Nathan was when he stood before his audience and his sins were revealed. I want you to spend time with My Holy Spirit and ask Him to reveal the darkness still inside of you.

“When you discover it, I don’t want you going over the deep end. I already knew it was there. All I want for you to do is confess it, ask forgiveness and make a resolution in your heart to avoid those sins and pray for the grace not to repeat them. You see, though you fall and are not perfect, because you confess and work on it I will forgive you and continue to pour out the graces you need to finally overcome your faults. You do not have to be perfect but you do need to be perfectly repentant

 

“The heart of this exercise is preparation and readiness to face Me. So much will be forgiven and removed on the way up to Heaven, but I do insist that you forgive everyone that ever offended you. I don’t want this experience marred by unforgiveness.

“What may help you in that area is that whoever was a challenge and injured you, had My permission. I am not the author of evil, but I did allow it as a challenge in loving others and dying to yourself. So, ultimately you can only blame Me for allowing it. Therefore be sure that you forgive the person, that you forgive yourself, and that you forgive Me. Cover all three bases. Ask Me to remove the root of bitterness you allowed to grow in your heart and defile it. There most certainly is a root of bitterness in every one of you. It is your job, with My Holy Spirit to identify it, renounce it and pray I will remove it.

“This exercise should not take you long, and it will not hinder your going into eternity. There are many of you that could be detained for unforgiveness. If you have bitterness in your heart, it is the ugliest of stains and will show right on the front of your wedding gown. So, be sure to rid yourself of that. Disarm it. By that I mean, refuse to allow it to pull you into a fury. Renounce this anger and unforgiveness in My Name, and refuse to connect with it. If you are faithful to make an honest effort, I will surely be faithful to totally remove it.

Selfishness is another flaw that you should repent of. Look for those times when you could have done something for another but didn’t bother. Either because you didn’t want to or you didn’t feel up to it. Do you know that many times I heal a malady because you went out of yourself to give, even when you were sick? There is a dynamic here.

 

“Satan knows ahead of time, sometimes, that a test is coming, or that you will rub shoulders with someone really in need. So he sends demons to push all your buttons, get you upset and distracted so you miss the good deed you should have done. This is oh, so common. When you see a multitude of things pushing your buttons, be on the look out for the ‘why’ of all those distractions. Is there someone coming to you for help, is there a meeting planned, is there an occasion of some sort?”

I would just like to say something here. Before ministry appointments? Oh, my goodness. We get barrages of provocative situations to wear us out before our appointment. This is so typical. I remember all the way back, I can remember these occasions all the way back 25 years ago, where the enemy tried to get us upset before an appointment.

Jesus continued, “Understand that the demons also have limited energy, so they pick their opportunities to trouble you according to the importance of what is coming up in your life. If it is very important and they know about it ahead of time (which they mostly do because they alert one another that such and such is going to happen or so and so is on the way) they quickly put 2 and 2 together, seeing that there is an occasion of virtue and helping another soul in need. They try to distract you or get you to cancel the meeting. Or they wear you out so you have nothing left for that person I’m sending you. Who, by the way, was very important to Me

 

Another thing to be aware of in selfishness is the self-important attitude, ‘I’m to busy for the likes of you.’ The ‘you aren’t important enough to me to stop what I’m doing.’ attitude. This is abhorrent to Me. Now we are getting into PRIDE, which is truly at the root of all evil. Selfishness will lead to Pride and selfrighteousness. Look for those times when your conscience twinged and you ignored it. Those are very good indicators of hidden sin.

“My Beautiful Bride, I am not saying these things to make you feel badly. I am saying them so you will stand clean before me. Sin is dirty. Unconfessed sin continues to be dirty. But sin confessed and forgiven exists no longer, it has been cancelled out. I want all My Brides to have their sins cancelled out.

Self-will, selfish ambition and jealousy that cause you to follow your own path rather than Mine, are also important to confess. If you are not sure, better safe than sorry. Better knowing that you recognized it than hiding it and having Me bring it up. Oh, so much better.

Here is a list for you to use in checking your behavior: Fear, Pride, Jealousy, Judgment, Anger, Laziness, Greed (acquisition), Gluttony, and Lust.

“Pay particular attention to those things that you do habitually when you know in your spirit you should be doing otherwise. They are an indication of disorder in your life and idolatry, because you put them before Me. These are indeed wrinkles in your dress.

“As I said before, this is not to discourage or reprimand you. It is to prepare you to meet Me without spot, wrinkle or blemish.

“A spot is something you allow to defile you, something you watch you shouldn’t have watched, something you said you shouldn’t have said, a feeling you engaged that you should have rejected.

“A blemish is an indication of inner contamination of the spirit. It comes up because something isn’t right inside. It could be an attitude that contaminates everything you do, like selfishness, fear, retaliation.

“A wrinkle is formed by a long-standing habit of sinful or disordered behavior. Having to work on Sunday, because you are in debt over your head, is the symptom of a wrinkle. The avarice caused you to want and to buy, then to pay it off you must deny Me the time I ask you to set aside every week for rest and rejuvenation with Me.

“Some of you are forced to work on Sunday or the Sabbath because that is the only work you could get. I am not legalistically condemning you for this. Did I not pick grains on the Sabbath? Did I not heal on the Sabbath? There is an attitude of heart that is so greedy that every spare moment is used to procure what is wanted.

” Wow…do I know about that…

“There is another attitude of heart that sets aside another day for Me when the appointed days are taken up out of necessity

“I wish for you not to get into arguments about which day of the week is holy. I will not instruct you on this, because it leads to a religious spirit. I want your heart, not your lip service and obedience to the law. Yes, I can hear the stones flying through the air now. This attitude of heart is deadly to a personal relationship with Me. You will note, it was the scribes and pharisees that refused their hearts to Me, because I did not support their Sabbath rules in a way suitable to them.

“Do you know what one of their main concerns was with Me? I threatened their income from the sale of sacrifices and coin changing. Yes, they garnered quite a nice income on all that went on in the temple

precincts and their greatest threat was that they no longer would have an income from these illicit activities. That is a wrinkle. The habit of having more and better caused them to twist their consciences in order to provide for their excesses.

“Some of you, especially the young ones, will over-react in fear to this. Please, My precious dear ones, this is not condemnation of you. It is to make you aware of the righteousness of God and how very deep it goes. Most of you do not have properly formed consciences. You were not raised on the Word in a holy household. So I must take you back to those roots and reveal to you how some of the things you were never taught are important.

“But I am not a legalistic God. I am full of mercy, understanding and forgiveness. I want your heart. I want you to love Me, to trust Me, to come to Me and speak with Me about your weaknesses, your sin and insecurities and fears. I want to help you overcome these things.

“If you have something you cannot change and you fear it is displeasing to Me, talk to Me about it. I will help you.It may not even be wrong-doing on your part. It may very well be from the father of lies, who is continually trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

“Yes! Condemnation is his favorite tool. Why, you ask? Because if he can convince you that you are bad and worthless, and that I am a severe judge, you will avoid Me and never come into My arms and trust Me.

“So, do not over-react to this message. Rather take it as a checklist. You are going on a journey, you need to get your things together. Work on your list and I will help you with each thing you are afraid to face. Use your Bible Promises to verify whether something is right or wrong. Watch for things in your environment, a sign from Me: a bird singing, a heart shape in your food or a leaf on the ground. A love song in the store, a sweet wash of contentment suddenly flooding over your soul. These are ways I encourage you and show you that I am not only with you but I approve of you and all your efforts are indeed pleasing to Me.

“So, what I am telling you, in a nutshell, is simply prepare yourself in repentance to meet Me. Just as you would wash and shower before a big event, wash yourself in My love and forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to confess anything. Remember, I was there when it happened and I will forgive what you confess. Let’s do this together.

“I am all for you, I will sustain you in your weakness, I will not abandon you. I love you deeply, do not be afraid.”

Journal Entry: Message from Jesus to his people-Be Prepared For The Rapture

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9/24/18
After yesterday’s message on Still Small Voice the Lord mentioned that the rapture is imminent there is no more time IF WE DONT PRAY FOR MERCY and he is coming. I thought maybe I was called to stay behind and he confirmed yesterday I am called to go. So was disappointed to say the least I really felt I was called to be a part of the remnant but I am not. So came in worship to spend time with him and the first song that plays is of course “Providence” a song I have never heard before and the first line of the lyrics goes  “ Your ways are higher than mine” . I  then said  okay Lord blaah sulking lol. Then into the 3rd song I heard a still small voice during worship say “I have a word for my people”, I dismissed it because usually I have to press in for a longer time really hear him but it seemed he wanted to talk right away. However I still began to worship thinking it would take more time to hear from the Lord so I felt a tug and reached from the bible promises for discernment to to confirm if it was the Lords will for me to speak to him now and I got
Peace: Philippians 4:7
The peace of God is much greater than the human mind can understand. This peace will keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus

Goodmorning, Lord I felt like you said you have a word for our people during worship so I want to be obedient Lord
Jesus what’s on your heart?

Jesus: (sigh)
If my people who are called by my name would humble themselves turn from their wicked ways I would heal there land but beloved they haven’t turned. They have not yielded to my council or even sought my wisdom. They continue to go on as business as usual when the world as they know it is coming to an end.
Me: ( telling myself in my heart Nasahhene don’t doubt.)

Jesus continued: “My beloved it is me I know your heart and hear many of your musing thoughts. Many of my warriors have fought the good race and now its time to bring them home while many aren’t ready. For those who have lived for themselves, for those who confess me with their mouth but hearts are far from me, for those who have lived hidden lives in darkness but publicly proclaimed me you will be left behind. Many are the trials of the righteous but the Lord delivers them from is all. For those who have given up everything for my sake, for those who have loved their neighbor, loved their enemies; those who hurt them but out of love for me you have forgiven them and live to please me, For those who are devoted to righteousness and hungering and thirsting for me I say to you. You will be taken. It will be surprise for many but don’t be disheartened with what you haven’t accomplished as I have told you heaven is only the beginning. All that you desired to do for me on earth you will do in heaven with ease all in preparation for when we return back. Men will need ministering. So your ministry will begin then”

Me: Lord so really here is no hope for mercy sorry u know I was thinking of marriage,seeing your power manifested in your endtimes army I am sorry Lord but I a bit disappointed or well a lot and all those souls who are lost now…there are so many who don’t know and will be lost for ever

Jesus: “Cease all your doubting beloved and trust in my providence as you pray even now those souls will obtain mercy that’s why I have you all still praying don’t stop you labor is not in vain concerning your family they will be transformed and zay zay will be healed”

Me: But marriage Lord

Jesus “Ah well (with a smile) beloved on the bright side you will have the wedding of your dreams ”

Me : (very cheeky) Yea Lord with you ?

Jesus: “yes beloved with me and a love you ant explain or have ever imagined on this side of heaven

Me: Help me Lord not my will but your will be done Lord thank what should I work on today

Jesus: “reach out to loved ones to see how their doing, build monuments of our love, work don’t lost hope continue to press forward in all I put on your heart to do the ministry page .Don’t stress just continue working steadily so when I come my bride is about her father’s business”

Me: okay Lord Help me to have all this truth sink in help me not harden my hear or be downcast Jesus would you grant me the grace of thankfulness and joy with expectation and please help me to be obedient to your will

Jesus: “yes dear that I will do”

 

-From Jesus with love

(The Lord has now mentioned there is in inkling of hope if we continue to pray for mercy and offer sacrifices to him. So saints please lets pray!)

 

God Carries A Picture Of Me In His Wallet!

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So this term was coined by Pastor Todd White and when I first heard it all I could do was laugh at not only the truth in that statement but, the reality that our God is truly a proud parent of all his children. As believers sometimes it hard to receive Gods love. We here it used so loosely at time. God loves you and we think yea I know but,……..if we really search our hearts we have to ask yourself do you really know how loved you are by God, do you? Because I believe if we really knew how much God loved us we would live not only differently but accordingly. If we can be honest, including myself, sometimes our love for him can be so conditionally and I believe we have been taught that way. As if Gods love is conditional too, that when we go through hard times, death, suffering, trials, poverty, rejection, the list can go on that means God doesn’t love us or your not blessed. However, when we go through blessing, riches, elevation, promotion, and have favor with men that means God loves us. Such a twisted incorrect perspective which is such an injustice to our identity once we are saved. You see Jesus died on the cross because of your sin not for it, he died because your sin caused you to be not only separated from God the Father but from your true identity as his child walking in fellowship and communion with him. So he had to die because of your sin there fore redeeming you back to God the father so that you can now have fellowship and communion with him daily as Adam did. His blood restored your identity back to who you were before Adam sinned. That’s why he continues to call his children justified by the cross, justified by the blood, justified if we confess and believe in his son Jesus. Romans 8:30 Those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified, Justified: Just-as-if- you never sinned! YOU are a son & daughter of the Most High King period. That’s who you are right now, nothing can change that who yearns to have deep intimate relationship with all his children. That’s why God created us for relationship with him, he created us for himself that’s it. Its so simple but it sounds so foolish to those who are perishing

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

If you let that sink in, it blows your mind. I remember having that revelation of his love and its almost overwhelming. That God created the universe for us but created little ole me for himself. That I am the most precious commodity, I am his masterpiece, I am his favorite prized one, I am everything to him and despite all I have done and will do. His love, his adorations, his gaze, his glory, is focused on me so much so that He has now come to make his home inside of me because he loves me! That can blow anyone’s mind lol  When I first read Psalm 139 and

Psalm 8:4-6
What is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and have crowned him with glory and honor

I laughed because I thought to myself David gets it! I love King David because the revelation of Gods love for him and Israel made him even dance in his lossley garments in front of all Israel and he didn’t care one bit. 2 Samuel 6:14 Wearing a lined ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might. You know so many times we walk around condemnation because we messed up but God doesn’t condemn you and never will because you are his child. We walk around in guilt or shame because of our past but when God sees you, he sees you as you never sinned your his child. We walk around victimized, hurt, & rejected by others but, God has never rejected you because of the finished work of Jesus blood you have been accepted as his child. We walk around thinking God is too busy, not really present, hard to reach, not really concerned with the details of our lives but,  you are his child so just as he walked with Adam in the cool of the day he now walks with you every single second, of every single day, wherever you go. He so desperately wants you to be conscious of that because living a life WITH God is so much better than FOR him. As your perspective changes you no longer see yourself as a slave following rules and directions but as a child holding their fathers hand going on crazy, surprising, sometimes difficult bur rewarding adventure!

I love the song Pieces by Amanda Cook from Bethel Church because the lyrics are so beautiful and true. Many times in our relationship the Holy spirit has reminding me of Gods love through this song. May favorite parts of the lyrics is the first verse when she states :
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, its unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me

So during my alone time with the Lord he showed me a beautiful picture in my heart of many of his children walking around with their heads down desponded, hopeless, feeling dirty, unclean, ashamed, condemned and he was in heaven shouting at the top of lungs with such excitement saying Look, look guys, you see that one, yup that’s my son. Oh ooooh look over there yup this one. She is mine that’s my daughter with such love and excitement he was boasting about them in front of all of heaven.
Some of these people were homeless, looked dirty, one was a prostitute, some others were just who were just ashamed of their past, what they had done or were doing. Some were so broken and hurt because of the rejection they faced from others and felt so isolated and alone. Yet, here God the Father was in so much, almost child like giddy excitement proudly boasting that is my child! Haha, that’s exactly what his love looks like its so unashamed and it proud to be seen with you regardless of what the world thinks of you, treats you or what people say. You are a child of God period, His love for you is truly unconditional period, He always is ever present with  you and will NEVER leave you period and he wants you to know that and live this love out WITH him….period lol.So guess what, God has a picture of YOU in his wallet too boasting all day about you, because when he sees you he sees your true identity, his child, a heir to throne of the kingdom of God!

 

2 Corinthians 6:18
And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

God bless you child of God!

Breaking Up With Jesus

unhappy woman crying

So I know the title sounds….interesting lol but honestly that’s exactly what I did about two weeks ago. I can candidly say  any believer who has an intimate relationship has had one of these conversations with the Lord and I am not ashamed to recognize my foolishness lol. If you have been following blog you can see that I have been in a wilderness season for sure however lately the Lord has been  a lot more silent than usual for over a month now as I continue to seek him in prayer and worship still getting no definite answer.  I would continue to get Rhema scriptures on Patience, and Seeking God :

Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

So about a week ago in my alone time I just let him have it, in the most respectful way of course but I just poured out all my frustriaons, anger and anxiets to him. I mean he said he loved David a man after his own heart, a man who was brutally honest with his God, so I can be honest right lol . Now, a little background on my relationship with the Lord I would like to think it is a very intimate one. He infact has truly become my husband, my God whom I am submitted too and like any husband for his spouse he is demanding. So I have come to understand that I cannot do a lot of things I want too or to be frank I cannot do a lot of things he might even allow other believers too do. We all have different calling, so there in lies the problem of me always comparing myself (as hand slaps forehead) and throwing fits ( in my heart that is) lol when he tells me no when I would rather go out saying come and spend time with me.  However, in the past that wasn’t an issue at all, why I loooooved to spend time with my love because I would feel his presence so strongly, he would speak and leave me in awe. So of course I would forsake all to spend time with the Creator of the Universe, my Lord, my Groom, my Love and just relish in his presence….but I have come to know how deceiving my heart it because when the experiences stopped if I can be honest didnt seem as fun anymore.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

So the times the Lord called me for prayer of course the enemy of my soul and my own flesh began to speak so much louder with lies. “Why are you always praying Nana”,  “you know your neglected your family and friends spending all this time in prayer”, “whats the point your fasting and prayer still now answer”,  “Nana go an live a little”, “There is a function at the church the Lord will be okay with it forsake him and go…come on after all its church”, “Nana come on there is no need to spend so much time in prayer”, “Nana look at everyone else accomplishing things what have you accomplished on your knees….just stop and do what you want”,  “Man Nana nothing has changed, your wasting your time” , “Yea go out to friends to the movies, just take a break relax a little”,  “Nana Your not living, go out and live a little”,  “How are you going to meet anyone or a husband for that matter if you continue to isolate yourself and pray” …..these were some of the many, many tormenting thoughts that when through my mind which led me to this  tearful, frustrated and honest converstaion with the Lord. It went something like this:

“Lord I am tired, I am waking up early in the morning to seek your face , when I get home I seek you face in hours of worship and prayer and nothing, You said as we give up more things in this world to seek your face you would give us constellations. Where am I constellations? Some have poked fun because of the car I drive and somethings they feel I should have, Family doesn’t understand me, I don’t really have any friends but one or two, some say I am too deep, I feel so alone at times as I try to please you and be obedient but I feel like I am not living, I am so unhappy, I let go of entertainment, forsake curtain activities out of obedience for you, I fast and I pray that’s all I do everysingle day just running home to this prayer closet and I get nothing. My dreams have stopped and as i seek you….nothing. I see others who live their lives plainly and they hear from you so clearly all the time that’s not fair….I feel like I am giving and giving and getting nothing.I want to live a little, have fun. I am unhappy Lord, I just cant, I just cant do this anymore. … as I said all of this outloud in a tearful rant, hearing the echo of my voice playing back all that I said, I thought to myself.” Oh my goodness, I just broke up with Jesus…..then I bust out laughing. Truly it had to be only the Lord that caused me to laugh because I believe he was laughing too. I could just see him looking at me saying are you done now? LOL

I had to think really Nana, so this it what it takes to walk away a little, to relax a little, to give in a little, to compromise a little…to “live” a litte. Who does that sound like?  ( hand slap to my face) So upon regrouping and gathering myself I asked the Lord for forgiveness and to strengthen me. Just like the enemy to send someone too you to entice you just one more time which he did through a family member who came over a couple days after and questioning my relationship with the Lord. Guess what……he said the exact same things I had said to the Lord, stating that I need to live a balanced life, and I cant be too Holy, and that I need to live a little its good to have a relationship with the Lord but its not that serious….(my mouth dropped open…in my heart that is). I found myself not only defending my walk with the Lord but, most importantly I realized truly how foolish I sounded saying all that to the Lord and that in fact it was the cunning enemy of my soul to put those thoughts in my mind. You see majority of the time the devil is very cunning and suttle in his ways.  The Battle is truly in the mind all he  has to do is whisper thoughts in our minds, thoughts of how “little” a compromise we can take and it will be okay. However, I have come to understand is its the Small Foxes That Spoil The Vine.  The Vine of our Love For Jesus that is, its the “little’ sins or compromises we make that cause us to stray only to turn around and find out how distant we are from the Lord. Well, I am happy to say Jesus and I are still going strong so no need to worry (if anyone was heartbroken initially reading this lol) we are in a covenant marriage so it can never be broken. Even if I stumble, complain, get angry, even if I make my bed in hell you will be there hence Psalm 139.  By the grace of God I aint going nowhere, can I get an amen! lol. I am glad that the God that we serve is not intimidated by our tough questions, is not turned off by our frustrations but in fact he understand perfectly and loves us despite it all!! So for anyone else who can relate even in the least bit be encouraged.

So Father I pray that my love for you will abound more and more and more. That I would abound in knowledge and in all discernment. That by your grace I would approve the things that are excellent, that I may be sincere, without offense until the Day of your return in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen

 

 

 

Faithful In The Small Things

tumbleweed3

 

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough, well quite rough lets say a Tumbleweed Season , began to feel a mixture of uncertainty ,anxiousness and discontentment. I began to seek the Lords will concerning a couple of things that were time sensitive “Time sensitive” For me anyway lol but you know how that is with the Lord. He walks with you completely unmoved by “our time’ and If I can be honest it can be very frustrating. (side note to Jesus: Yes, Lord this is very frustrating…sigh) lol . So as I began to press into the Lord in prayer and worship ferverntly he seemed so distant. No clear answer or direction besides “Wait” I got the Rhema Psalm 27 :14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD then again did you just realize how I said  he gave no answer and as I am typing this I realized that was an answer ….hence one that I am not trying to hear ( side note: uuugh…lol this is killing me Lord, he is probably like No Nana behind disobedient might..Eeeee LOL)

So I have been asking the Lord regarding his will concerning me moving out and a host of other things. I was going to  renew my lease but had to be the Holy Spirit that nudged me to stop and seek the Lords will. Needless to say I have 16 days left and starting to get a anxious. Then strife began to rise up within a prayer meeting group I started as well, and as I caught the Lord for direction and wisdom in that. Then I began to have spiritual and physical lethargy, weakness and soreness in my body for the past two weeks. I just kept telling the Lord, I am so tired Lord, I am tired. Just feel like giving up let me just relax a little.  If I can be honest what I was really saying was I am tired of praying and not hearing from you, tired of doing the prayer meeting, youtube channel, blog and not seeing any real fruit  just feeling drained having nothing  to pour out for the Youtube channel or even blog for that matter. It almost felt like my fire just was going out slowly. Just been dry. Tired of being at a job that I am not truly fulfilled  blaaaah!  (btw in tears I did tell the Lord all of these things on my heart)  So sought the Lord for another rhema word and got spiritual warfare and ” Patience”

Isaiah 40 :31

But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with twints like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint

I knew I couldn’t allow the enemies lies and tactics to take root in my mind and especially in my heart. So I went to youth service this past Tuesday honestly just for the worship. I told myself I would go for worship to be refreshed then go immediate home to spend time again in my prayer closet to war. I had no intension on listening to the message until the pastor began to speak about different season ins believers life and the season he was talking about was: The Battle. So that got my attention and I sat down which had to be by the Holy Spirit because the message was so convicting and not at all what I thought. The Lord was finally talking clearly to me or should I say I finally got it. I should know by now when the Lord seems distant of course he never is, he is right beside us but it is a test, to test our faithfulness. That’s exactly what the Tubleweed seasons are, a test in faithfulness. The Isrealites wondered for 40 years never entered into Gods promises for complaining and murmuring and that’s what I had been doing. Being so ungrateful, so frustrated, even angry. I realized that in the midst of me waiting, in the midst of oppression and in the midst of the emotions of my flesh I need to be faithful with all that the Lord had commissioned me to do.

Lord thank you for the privilege and honor it is to not only serve you but to do this crazy life WITH you. Help me to be faithful in all that you made me responsible over. Help me to have self control over my emotions and feelings which can stop me at times from being responsible. Give me the Grace to endure, preserver and wisdom to discern not only your will for my life, in all that I do  but to discern good from evil so I may judge correctly those you have called me to lead . I pray that I would do ALL things unto you so today I proclaim that:

As I volunteer at the Welcome Center at Church- I will be on time, and go above and beyond to make all who enter into your sanctuary welcome

At my Job- I will be on time, a woman of integrity in action and in deed.Not working on other projects besides the work they pay me for and having my productivity reflect Christ

For Prayer meeting- I will praying all week for those who should attend, sensitive to your leading and instruction as to what to pray and how we should pray. I will follow up during the week with those who come as well to see how they are doing

For the Youtube Channel- I will be diligent  & consistent with my messages, seeking your wisdom and your heart above the leading culture/trending news. That I would have a spirit of excellence to take this responsibility very seriously and teaching others how to know, serve and love you.

For the Blog- that I will be diligent & consistent to write a blog post every week, that I would be transparent and honest in my writing to encourage, and inspired many that God truly uses the weakest to do his business.

Lord help me to become a virtuous woman, full of love for you and others, full of wisdom, integrity & excellent in all that I do. Living a life submitted to you in obedience and unconditional trust in you. In Jesus name…..Help me Lord lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our God Is Not A Spectator

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So my sister posted this image that initially had the girl on the ground as “me” the girl on top “life” and the one with the camera is “god’, which had soooo many likes and comments on it and I get it…its meant to be funny and some may say chill its not that serious…I can see my sisters eyes rolling now saying “Here goes Nas” haha but, honestly when I saw it I was immediately grieved in my heart so much. Not only because it such incorrect depiction of  God is truly like but, the saddest part is most people see their lives this way and its so far from the truth. God has never and will never sit back and watch you get pummeled by life through the world and the enemy would like to make you think that. He says “he will never leave us nor forsake us”

Isaiah 41:13
“That I hold you by your right hand–I, the LORD your God. And I say to you ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”

So you see he is ever present in our lives, never leaving, constantly pursuing, trying to get our attention and our hearts if we would for a second take the time to give it to him. However, unfortunately you see so many people today haven’t experienced the presence of God or even worse don’t know him at all. You see SIN SEPERATES US FROM THE PRESENCE OF GOD and when we allow sin in…it takes over our lives. Which causes us to feel pummeled by this life and furthermore feel as if God is just sitting back watching. No the enemy set up the temptation and when you fall for it he then sits backs not only in excitement, not only in pure joy but, HE records it just to play it back to you.

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life,
 and have it to the full.

In Guilt, Fear, Shame and Condemnation so you don’t ever think that God actual cares about you, that you don’t ever think God actually Loves you, that you don’t ever think your good enough For God, that you don’t ever think to come back into Gods Presence Lies, Lies, Lies and we know the enemy is a father of lies. This picture caused me to arouse in righteous passion to set this picture and mentalities straight of my Beloved, My Friend and My God Jesus Christ. He is so tender, so sensitive, so loving, so full of grace and even more mercy because where you continue to sin, there he continues to provide you help to not only let go of this sin but not to go back to it and its called GRACE

 Romans 5:20
But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.

 So please don’t allow ANY sin to get ahold of your life, ask Jesus to help you where you are struggling, and completely turn away from it and he will give you the grace, don’t allow shame or guilt to keep you from him because He loves you desperately and don’t for once believe the lie of the enemy that Our God is spectator. …No, no he is soooo far from that. He goes before you, he is behind you and right beside you, ordering your steps if you would listen and just take his hand…So will let go of Sin and take the Lords hand today. He loves you desperately!! God bless you Come to him he is all that you need!