Jesus’s Farting Bride

Related image

I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

Advertisements

Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

Related image

1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

fall-into-him

 

Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Renewing My Vows

20140303-Renewal-vows

 

I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

MiryPit.main

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love

Wholly Given Over To Holiness

Glowing Bible and dark city

(Kevin Carden Photography)

I heard a pastor say that this millennial generation has some of the best preaching, teachings and catchy lines since the church began because we have podcast, old sermons, great man and and woman of God we can glean from. As the the word of God says in the latter days knowledge would increase. So we have obtain much knowledge to feed our generation but we  lack more than any generation….personal holiness.
How many of  us have allowed the word of God to transform our heart, our minds and our way of life? Its not just about catchy phrases, cute apparel, how much wisdom you know or how well you can recite another preachers sermon but how have you allowed the word of God to take root to transform your life.

1 Peter 1:16
Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy

Interestingly the Lord never said ” YOU ARE holy for I am holy…..no he said BE Holy for I am holy. That means there is a part that all believers take part in the work and process of becoming holy. Yielding yourself completely to the holy spirit not even knowing the cost but giving yourself solely and whole heartily to it because you love Jesus. Not out of obligation or religious superiority but out of the love for the God that you serve to be more like him. The Holy Spirit is who empowers us to live holy lives before the Lord. I just love this statement “ We will not successfully resist the temptation of hollow, fleeting pleasures if we live in a “fascination vacuum.” We must be preoccupied with a superior fascination. A spiritually bored believer is vulnerable to Satan when he comes knocking at their door—that is why sins of our flesh are running rampant in the Body of Christ. But my point is not to give a list of other preoccupations; rather, to say that the reason that so many believers are addicted to fleshly pleasures is because they live in a spiritual vacuum. They have settled down and become content to live in spiritual boredom. I urge you not to be content to live this way. The key to successfully resisting temptation is not just loving Jesus in a vague, general way and hoping to avoid sin. We need something that really grips us spiritually. We need to live fascinated! Fascinated with God. I am not talking about going to Bible school, going on a missions trip, or being on an outreach team. We need something far more gripping than that: in the secret place of our lives we need to know and experience more of Jesus.”

What does Holiness look like?  that “The call to holiness is a call to enjoy God. Holiness is not a call to miss out on fun. Yes, we are missing out  sinful activities, but our heart is not missing out. Those activities will never satisfy you, nor will they refresh you or deeply connect you to other people. They will keep you broken, isolated, and disconnected”

Psalm 37:3–4
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart

 

As the Lord continues to take me on the journey of Holiness I have learned that the way to holiness is delighting yourself in the things of God, letting go of world pleasures and comforts that truly will never satisfy. Most importantly relying on Gods grace and asking the Holy Spirit for help when the Lord desires for me to let go of something I want to hold onto.  How we will make a difference in this world as believers is when we look separate from the world, walking in righteousness, holiness and carrying the presence of God to a dark, lonely, hopeless and dying world. The apostles and saints of old lived holy lives and I have come to see unfortunately in this generation to pursue living a  life of holiness you are immediately called “legalistic”, or “religious” but obedience is not legalism it is just that …..obedience. Our generation needs to take the word of God a lot more serious because indeed Jesus is serious about his word. I remember first reading the bible with the Holy  Spirit and I began to be so convicted of my lifestyle. I thought I could still profess Jesus and do what I desire thinking he would understand…when I asked him Jesus you are really serious about your word, I didn’t expect to him to respond until he said YES. I thought to myself….ooooh lol, thats when the Holy Spirit began to do a radical change in my heart and in my life as I continue to climb this mountain of holiness with Jesus. Falling many times in the process but yielding myself to his correction and his mercy and grace to MAKE ME HOLY AS HE IS HOLY

-From Jesus With Love

Prophetic Message From Jesus
Jesus began “As in everything we have done before, turtle steps; the steady, unwavering tortoise wins over the impetuous hare. And My Mercies are new every morning as you pursue the course set out for you. Just be aware, My love, continually, that you are moving towards the goal of detachment from all earthly values, even the opinions of men. Shall the servant of God hearken to the wisdom of men? No.”

“I’m calling you to live a holy life no matter which life you choose. But if you choose holiness with great consistency, you will find it increasingly hard to live in the world. That is why I am forever telling you who are young on this channel to leave the world and join a mission effort. But you will have to come to Me and ask for courage, because everyone will come against you in your decision.

Jesus says “Console Me”

PicMonkey Collage

I have come to know the Lord in the most intimate way through suffering. The dreaded word many Christians don’t want to hear or go through but very much apart of a believers life. The Lord never said that this world would be perfect full of love, peace  and joy no he actually warned us that we would have trials and tribulation but to take heart because He has already overcome! Were called to be overcomers in a ever increasing dark, angry, deteriorating world. The times were living in our treacherous when many are looking for answer’s, protection, hope and love in  all the wrong places which can only be found in Jesus! He is indeed coming back very soon!

John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

There is a mystery in suffering, that our God suffers with us too. Suffering is caused because of sin and  we live in a fallen world. Jesus took the sins of he world upon him on the cross yet still suffers with us and will continue too until the world is restored to righteousness at the end of the age. We serve a God who is very human and many times we forget. As many go about there day business as usual and act as if God is so far away from all that is going on in the world blaming him but, oh how very present he is and near to the brokenhearted. His heart grieves for the many souls who lose their lives, who go through trials, who are hurting and especially the ones who don’t know him. His heart grieves for the many who still blaspheme his name, who reject him, mock him, who love wickedness and hate truth. He hears the cries of all in this fallen world and when one tear drops those are his tears he cries through them, therefore not one tear hits the ground unnoticed by Jesus. How his heart breaks desperately for his children every day and when you lay down your life to suffer with Jesus he will let you in on whats on his heart.  Now more than ever Jesus desires consolement, yes our God desires to be comforted by his creation, by his children, by none other than his bride. Which is a sweet consolation to his wounded heart. Will you console Jesus in this hour?

With great suffering comes great intimacy, trust and understanding

Jesus what’s on your heart? 

“These are turbulent times my beloved, turbulent times. I am hurting and suffering with the world. Many of my children are doing things for me but, very few are WITH me. I desire to be with my bride in this hour don’t wander off in doing things for me my beloved but, stay close to me. Console me, my beloved console me. Heal the wounded heart of your king, your Lord with worship, with your time and with you praise. Your prayers are a sweet incense that draws me out of the pain of this dying world into the chambers of my bride’s heart where I am strengthen and comforted by your response to my call. Console me my beloved console me. Many desire to pitch their tents on the mountain of prosperity but, so very few….very few will pitch their tents in the Garden of Gethsemane with me. Where my heart resides still making intercession for souls to come to me. Will you suffer with me my bride? Will you drink the cup of bitterness as I did and still tasting until all is return to me? Will you pitch your tent in Gethsemane? I am lonely my beloved, I long for my brides affection, her attention to detach from all the distractions and business of this world and be with me. Will you watch and pray? Console me, my beloved Console me.”

Your suffering King and Bridegroom-Jesus

 

 

 

Choosing Jesus Or Choosing Nana: The Fight Of Self-Denial

tug_of_war_with_god_by_kevron2001-d9rra27

(Pic credits Kevin Carden website http://www.christianphotoshops.com)

I have found to walk with Christ takes two decisions, first confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart that he is Lord which seals your salvation then…..( the part which majority of us believers struggle with) to DENY YOUR FLESH completely in total surrender that He may live. Which I have come to realize is day by day, decision by decision to choose Jesus rather than to choose Nana. I don’t pass the test every time but the longer I am walking with Christ the more apparent that call seems, the quicker I find myself willing to sacrifice my desires for his…Now I didn’t say easier lol Don’t be mistaken it is hard but dying is never easy.

I had given my life to the Lord at a young age but I hadn’t given him my life. So when the Lord called me to surrender my life 3 years ago I hesitatingly did.  Not realizing it would be the greatest, most amazing and difficult decision I had and will ever make. However, I began to get rhemas from the Lord asking for “total surrender” and I would wonder hmmm Lord I have completely surrendered, (or so I thought) I don’t get it.  You have my heart and my life is yours now. Not realizing he wanted complete control of my time, my body, my money, my plans etc….you name it He wants it all. So many times as believers we declare God you can have it all, whatever you want, my life is yours but do we really mean that and are we willing to live a sacrificial, crucified, hedged in life , denying ourselves every worldly pleasure and living only for the perfect will of God?? I would say many Christians don’t , especially in our generation and in our western Christianity.  I remember the Holy Spirit speaking to me these words:

“In this generation we call obedience legalism and holiness religious”

So true! I remember being so frustrated at times because I slowly started noticing as I walked with Jesus there were many things other Christians could do but I couldn’t. For the life of me I couldn’t understand it. I thought the christian life was suppose to be fun with Jesus! lol No, the Lord was like is “your called to be holy and pure for me”. So I have found myself many times making plans, having personal desires and them being completely adverted because Jesus has plans for me as his bride to do instead. So i have been learning to submitted to my bridegroom.

One instance was two days ago, where I found myself weary at my moms house with all my nieces and nephews over. The day felt like I was taking care of a day care lol. I was unable to get any work done really and wanted to get away. Just then a friend from my Kenya team reminded me of  get together they were hosting at their home. Watching the Avengers movie and eating snacks. So having a strong desire to go, I first wanted to make sure it was okay with the Lord first so I asked him for a rhema I got “Sickness” . Now when I get scriptures about that either I am asking for healing or the Lord is saying my mind is sick, I have come in agreement with wrong thinking…hmmm. So having a slight nudge he didn’t want me to go and would rather have me spend time with him. I thought I am not sick (like I didn’t know) and went anyway lol. As soon as I got in front of their house a song came on the radio guess what the Lyrics where ” There is a sickness in the world where people are looking to fill the void but can only be filled with Jesus” All  I could do was laugh, I was like nooooo. Jesus I am already here (the Lord can use anything to talk to us by the way). Then the second song came on lyrics ” Lord help me to listen to what you tell me to do”. I reasoned with the Lord saying, moms house is crowded where can i go to spend time. Then the idea came to mind to go to my sisters place, she was out of town for  trip so would have the place to ourselves. So with my face in my palm, I looked up looking at the inviting house, movie, fellowship and snacks or leave and head to my sisters. I had a decision to make….To Choose Jesus or Choose Nana. Nana, wanted to have escape, have fun and relax with friends and Jesus wanted to escape with me, have fun and have me relax in his heart…… (with a sigh ) lol I said yes, Lord. I chose Jesus (that is all by his grace)

I made my way to my sisters apartment and there I had 3 hours of the most awesome and intimate time with alone in her walking closet. I left feel at peace, no longer burdened, loved and feeling full of purpose. Jesus has called me and if not all of us to a life of TOTAL SURRENDER . We must understand it takes our permission for the Lord to complete His work in us. He is a gentleman, he wont force his will on you but will you yield to his? Jesus has asked me to live a life denying myself of  the news, of movies, of TV, of Entertainment. of certain food, of sweets, idle time wasted hanging out,  many worldly pleasures, worldly comforts and live on the bare necessities which come from him alone just to name a few.  It feels like a tug of war every time but, God is so gracious and patient with me lol. He has me hedged finely and I am learning to appreciate that rather than complain. I get asked many times lately about intimacy with Jesus and I always tell them one of the many components to walking with Jesus so intimately is to deny yourself, not all at once. The Lord works with us all in stages and by layers, its one day at a time waking up to say I choose you Jesus today above my desires, my plans and my comforts so will you  make a decision and choose Jesus every time? Ask him for the grace to make you willing to be made willing!

Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Ask “Jesus Do It Through Me”

heart

 

This week I found myself at my sisters house with my computer out of commission so unable to do blogs, youtube video and any usual online ministry for the Lord. I had so much time on my hands I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew the Lord wanted me to be about his bushiness as he has instructed me time and time again that my time is now His time. Its a grace given to us all and we will all be held accountable by how we used HIS time for ourselves or for his kingdom.  So lately I have been feeling a nudge to work more on my creative gifts. During the times the Lord had me evangelizing I desired so much to work on music, art, dance etc and even prayed in my heart the Lord would give me more opportunites to work on that. So I was reminded this week when I had all this time that he had answered my prayer, so instead of complaining I should get to work lol

So two nights ago I saw my nephews sketch book and coloring pencils as I thought to myself maybe I should draw. The Lord has given me some beautiful imagery in my alone time to explain things to me and so badly wanted to put them on paper to share it with other but began to think…Lord how, I have no skill in drawing. It seemed like a large task however I remember from Still Small Voice Youtube Ministry the Lord has been teaching us how to trust him with our creative gifts. How we should bank on our inability to do anything and rely on his grace to do everything he put it on our hearts to do. All we have to ask is “Jesus do this through me”. So I took the Holy Spirit up on that offer, sat down with a heavy sigh and said, “Holy Spirit draw through me”. The Lord gave me the word and a picture on my mind and I googled some images and began to trace with my eye the idea I had been given. Within an hour 1/2 I looked back upon the work and was utterly amazed at what Jesus had done! For not having any skill in drawing He did this through me by his grace. I thought to myself if you can do this imagine what else  you can do through me, and I bet Jesus was like you have no idea LOL. I honestly had no idea this gift was inside me and I am now so excited to draw more images with Jesus touch others and encourages others to do the same. Below is a prophetic message from the Lord about us using and relying on him for our gifts. I believe it will encourage you greatly

Prophetic Message From Jesus about our gifts (SSV Ministry):

“My precious Vessels unto Honor, I can do with you anything I want to. If you don’t have the DNA to do it, I will transplant My DNA into your very physical being and you will have the talent necessary. I ask for only two things: a pure love for Me and a willing heart of faith. With these voluntary attributes from you, I can do anything – and much to everyone’s surprise, I often do! You are not limited by past failures and boundaries you could never cross. As a matter of fact, you may not have been able to cross them, because I didn’t feel you were ready – and the gift could have been your undoing.

“Music is an especially treacherous in a gift, because people begin to worship the artist and it can go to their heads very quickly. For this reason, there is much tempering and seasoning and in fact difficult events in the past of my musicians. They must carry the anointing to bring you all into My presence. This is a priestly duty, and not all live a pure and priestly life. That is why you are seeing older musicians raised up. They have lived through the fancies and vanities of the world and have come into a place of realization: only I am important. “I wanted Clare to share this with you so you could understand that you are perfectly fit for any assignment I impart to you. Your skill level is not needed; your heart and surrender are. In fact, I place My desires in your heart.

So I would ask you to look inside and recognize your longings. I have placed them there for a reason. As you discover what lies beneath that throbbing heart, you can bring it to Me to turn it into reality. “I am waiting for some of you to discover yourselves and what I have for you. Seek Me until you find Me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Even as it is written, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.”

“Remember, to bring you joy and fulfillment is truly My delight.”-Jesus

So has he Lord put a dream in your heart to paint, dance, sing, produce, create in anyway for him? Do you feel you don’t have the talent, skill, your not qualified or that its not good enough or the worst lie that many others are doing it , so your not needed. LIES, LIES, LIES. Do you know how unique you are, there is no one like you and the Lord wants to use your vessel which is unique in personality and ways to minister to somebody only YOU can reach. So my friend so what are you waiting for? Those dreams are not yours but, its His dreams embedded in your heart waiting for you to step on faith and rely on his grace and ask  “Jesus do it through me”…..you will be utterly amazed and in awe at what he does!!

-From Jesus With Love

Kenya Mission Trip, Nothing I Expected But Everything I Needed!

 

 

 

 

 

REPENTANCE
“I am going to convict you of your motives this coming week. I am
going to expose attitudes and habits that have hindered you and
prevented you from becoming who you truly are in Me. Some things
may come as a shock to you, when you see why you really do what you
do.
“But this is for your own good. This is to remove more spots from
your wedding gown. This is to bring you to repentance. And if any
think more highly of themselves than they do of others, well, you will
discover just how lowly you are. This is a good thing. For truly I lift up
the humble but decrease the stature of the proud.” – (Rhema Book by Clare Du Bois)

Welp, that sums up my trip pretty much LOL. Truly the Lord sent me all the way to Kenya to do a work in my heart, to think I was going to minister to people but, He used this trip to minister to me. So with that said my Kenya Mission trip was not what I expected and everything I needed. It truly superseded my expectations because it was God’s expectation and his perfect plan and will the whole time!

If I would’ve been honest with myself going to Kenya I had many expectation because the Lord had indeed redirected my attention to this mission trip when it was the last thing on my mind. I had been given a dream from him about 6 months ago where I was in Kenya putting on an event and sharing the gospel with the local village ladies. So I knew sometime in the near future I would be going to Kenya just not now. So upon leaving for the next 10 days I thought I was going to Kenya to make a divine connection in order to put this future event together among many expectations of seeing the blind eyes open, captives set free, miracles, signs and wonders! LOL Oh how I am still learning what true ministry is, just every day loving and serving people.

So I found myself stepping unto Kenyan soil and it felt like home for me. I knew this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be at that very moment. We had gone with the main itinerary  to assist and serve for a 4 days Pastors Conference held at CMM. Whereby over 400 pastors from Kenya and Uganda come to be refreshed, renewed, & equipped for their ministries. Once arriving I realized a life of a missionary isn’t always exciting or followed with signs, wonders and miracles but, I found God’s delight in the lowliest of thing. In sweeping, cleaning, serving, washing dishes, praying for people and just merely serving that brought God glory.

The Negative Motive & Attitudes in My heart the Lord showed me through out the week I had to repent for:

    1. Resisting submission to authority
    2. Seeking approval and affirmation from man
    3. Complaining & ungratefulness
    4. Self- righteous attitudes
    5. Pride
    6. Discontentment
    7. Result based motives
    8. Selfish desires
    9. Critical/ judgmental thoughts

Therefore you can see why the Lord began to reveal these issues in m y heart, its so true the saying the Lord heals in layers. Many of these attitudes I thought I was free from but he showed me how I was resisting authority in my heart as everything I felt the Lord telling me to do was shut down as a precaution being a different country, how I was still seeking mans approval to affirm Gods call upon me and being turned down felt like rejection, how I than began to complain instead of being grateful for the opportunity to serve, how quickly it turned to pride/self righteous/ attitude thinking highly of myself, which led to selfish desires of wanting to be used by God in a “big” way, then eventually turning into critical and judgmental thoughts towards others….sheeesh Did I ever tell you how much of a hotmess I am lol but, its okay because as the Lord once said to me ” I am HIS hotmess” haha and how He loves me just the same. What a merciful, gracious and patience God we serve. So if the Lord can still use me, train me, and love me as I am that what makes you think he cant do that for you my friend! I love Jesus

The week before I left for Kenya the Lord gave me two Rhemas the first was to “seek the lowliest place in everything” and the second was “To be servant of all and least of all”. That is exactly what I learned on this trip that a leader is only as good as how they follow and indeed the lowliest place is the best place to be. It means to seek positions, service in places no one else wants to do or go. To also exalt others and their ministries above your own. I found myself immediately praying for my team members, seeing their virtue and value in the group. I began to have so much joy in serving, helping, cleaning and doing whatever I was asked to do. There was sooo much that happened in Kenya that it couldn’t fit in one post, that’s what Youtube is for 🙂 but, the greatest of it all is that the Lord did a work in my heart and that of all my team member’s in the most amazing way. He removed our mask, revealed our hearts to each other than unified us. To serve people, intercede for Kenya and to sow seeds of his love wherever we went!

THE BEST KENYA MISSION TEAM EVER!!
R-L top to bottom
Samuel, Ben, Pastor Aaron, Alex
Daisy, Lesley, Monica, Melissa, Rachel
ME(Nana) Cindy, Kelly, Rebecca, Jenny

19060124_10210610963324476_4642063214116959099_n

-From Jesus With Love