Heroic Humility

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2 Samuel 16:5-13

As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”

10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.

What is Heroic Humility?  I am finding that out in this season which has been riddled with much criticism and assaults, I can either take offense or see it as an opportunity that the Lord is using to humble me. However, I am learning from a little saint called St. Therese of Lisieux how to go about that.  Heroic Humility is the desire to be humiliated and to receive all insults, criticism, curses and judgments with JOY knowing that it is the Lord permitting it! Now, can I say that has been a feat lol. During my prayer time I sought the Lord to get a daily word from him last week and twice the Holy Spirit gave me “heroic humility’ in her devotional as its stated

HEROIC HUMILITY (devotional)

“The novices [too whom she gave spiritual direction] praise me. It is not flattery. They believe what they say. It does not make me vain for the knowledge of my wretchedness never leaves me. But sometimes my soul sickens of too sweet a diet. It is then that Jesus gives me a nice little salad dressing of vinegar and spice sans Olive oil. God raises the veil which hides may imperfections, and my dear little sisters then no longer find me quite  their liking. With a simplicity I find charming, they tell me what a trial I am to them and what they find unpleasant about me. They stand on no ceremony, for they know that their freedom of speak delights me. It is actually more than delight. It is like a wonderful festival which overwhelms me with joy. If had not experienced it, could not believe that something so against one natural feelings could afford such happiness. Once when I was passionately longing to be humiliated, a young postulate did it so effectively that I remember when Shimei used David and I read the words of the holy king; “Yea, it is the Lord who hath bidden him say all these things”

-St Therese of Lisieux

Since, moving here to this prayer community the Lord has a lot many insults to be hurdled my way wether it be online, through family members or even members of this community. We are all definitely not perfect and are learning the way of perfection through brotherly love as we are climbing that mountain of holiness. Many we times we can step on each others toes but its all about our response to one another. In the world we are taught to defend ourselves, to respond back with sharp words and to let others know when they offend us but when the Lord is leading you into a way of “heroic humility” his desire that you “submit to everyone and allow others to trample on you” that is true humility. Just as Jesus was the perfect example for us all who turned the other cheek, and led like a sheep to the slaughter with defamation of character, physical blows, insults, betrayals, curses, being spit on, was cheated, accused, and gossiped about. You name it he endured it all in perfect silence and yielded to the Fathers will.

We live in a christian culture that actually contradicts this way of the Gospel many times where we are taught to distance ourselves from those who hurt us but pray for them. Rather Jesus has chastised me to ” Not take offense or repeat offense”. He has made me to understand that when I take an offense against my brethren I am indeed offended by him for he permits every trial, every circumstance and every word someone speaks or does against me. We forget and really don’t have confidence in the Lords divine providence. That he is is in control of EVERYTHING and allows EVERYTHING even the bad. So its a grave offense in his eyes when we  get offended at one another and worse repeat it thereby spreading seeds of discord among brethren because the person you share that offense with now has a seed of criticism planted in their heart against the person who offended you. Its opens the demonic door for everyone and leads to much gossip, resentment and eventually bitterness taking root in the heart of everyone.

 

The Lord is calling us to humble ourselves to see ourselves in his mirror for who we truly are. Wretched sinners, full of judgment and evil thoughts ourselves which we may not say out loud but in our hearts, who are in need of his desperate grace and mercy. Pride(Self-love, the flesh) is what causes us to rise up to defend, to correct, to get angry and take offense which will always contend with the virtue the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us Humility.  I believe the Lord is wanting to raise up many of his brides to walk in heroic humility. Brides who don’t desire the praise of men but are actually looking forward to the insults and criticism of others with joy because  BLESSED ARE YOU!

Matthew 5:11-12
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Furthermore, how blessed are you if people insult you justly or so all manner of things against you that may be right but in humility you receive it all in silence from the hand of of the Lord as King David did. Oh Lord, give us the grace to have heroic humility, to allow ourselves to be made fools for Christ and to even desire to be humbled by you when life gets too sweet and many are singing the praises of our name. Give us the desire to be humbled and even a greater grace to not take offense or repeat offense. We ask this in Jesus name we pray Amen!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus Is Calling To His Brides “Will You Stay With Me”?

Jesus reaching out

Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’

Many of us don’t realize the Lord still suffers tremendously because of indifference, lost souls, suffering souls and his unfaithful brides. Yes, God still suffers because there is suffering in the world however he looks for his brides for comfort on the cross but many times finds himself left alone as he was during his crucifixion. Forsaken by all besides his disciple John and his Mother, Blessed Mary.

Being here in this prayer community I have had the opportunity to experience the Lord in the most profound way as I have never had before. Father Ezekiel who is our Bishop many times experiences stigmata which is (in Christian tradition) marks corresponding to those left on Jesus’ body by the Crucifixion, said to have been impressed by divine favor on the bodies of St. Francis of Assisi and others). However, he experiences spiritual stigmata where the Lord takes him through the passion in pain. I found myself sitting at his bed side through one of the episodes and many times the Lord won’t tell him who he is suffering for but this time he did. The Lord referenced it was “his unfaithful bride” and that he was looking to be consoled.  As the Lord kept telling his unfaithful bride “what about the children, if not for me then what about the children?” Oh, how those words cut my heart to pieces. The Lord was speaking about the spiritual children him and his bride birth or can birth together if she would surrender herself to only him. However, the world and the summer season have taken his brides attention away from being with him. As I began to pray I found myself in a vision of “the passion”.

“I saw Jesus carrying the cross and the jeering crowd hurling insults and throwing rocks at him. What touched me the most is that I first saw Jesus with his “bride” in a room as he was crying out to her, please don’t leave me if not for me then for the children. This “bride” was so indifferent and utterly annoyed at his request as she stood oppositite of him with her arms folded. Completely rejecting him then stomping out the door leaving him in tears. Then the scene went back to the passion as he was carrying his cross with blood, tears and sweat running down his cheeks, so sad, lonely and utterly downcast. I saw our Lady, Blessed Mother there walking silently along with her son in the crowd her heart broken too. Then I saw his “bride” very close to the road to Del A rosa but she was in the homes of other man. Being with them, spending time with them and one man said “isn’t that your husband being crucified don’t you want to be with him”. Yet, the bride responded with such repugnance and disdain to him as she continued to carry on with her other “lovers (the world).  Then I saw other brides who were in the marketplace in Jerusalem buying and selling things as the people would say “isn’t that your husband being crucified” and she too would respond with compelte indifference with no care or love at all for Jesus as she continued…business as usual. Then finally we got to the top of calvary as they had erected Jesus on the crucifix. Then other bride came this time to mock at him, curse him tell him suffering was a disgrace, she was so ungrateful and utter despised the cross. Jesus, heart was being ripped to shreds at her words, His wife, His bride, the Lover of his heart had not only rejected him but betrayed and mocked him just like the crowd. He was in tears and so was Blessed Mother as she stood facing him, her heart broken as well to think she had entrusted Her heart, her son, into the arms of a women she though would love him  and care for him as his wife. 

Then the vision ended…I was in tears as I cried. Remembering I too used to be that unfaithful wife. Lord if we only knew how much you still need us, need our company, our lives, our love and our surrender fully as brides of Christ so I went to console him. A few days later I began to pray the rosary, the 7 sorrowful mysteries to be exact which trace 7 aspects of Mary’s life with Jesus where the sword as Simeon prophecies had perfected her heart

Luke 2:35
so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

 

So as I continued to pray I envision myself in every scene  of Blessed Mothers life with Jesus and focused on being with him there. I got to the sixth sorrowful mystery where Jesus was taken down from the cross and I was yet again in front of his passion. I saw Jesus, now dead completely uncovered, beaten, flesh torn and ripped with much much blood as I looked at him with such sorrow. To the left I saw Our Lady, Blessed Mother who was the one his body was given too. However, she looked at me with tenderness as she was in an all black veil and beckoned for me to come. She backed away and motioned for the Lords body to be given to me instead. I was amazed as i walked up close to the cross and the soldiers began to lower his body I realized I was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress as the rested Jesus in my arms. All I could feel was such deep sorrow as I looked at his mutilated body and immediately took off my veil to cover his nakedness and wrapped it around him. Then I laid him gently down as I began to rip pieces of my wedding dress skirt to wrap the gaping wounds of his feet, his legs, and head with the crown of thorns removed. All I could do was kiss, my Jesus and tell him how sorry I was for what I did. Then the next scene I saw myself now in the tomb. Our Lady Blessed Mother was there and had just finished wrapping him in swaddling clothes for his burial. She looked up at me beckoned me to come once me and sit with him. So I did this time as she smiled gentle at me and as she walked away she said “Stay with him”. So I did, for a while just looking at his lifeless body and kissing his hands. Then I came out of the vision.

I never knew I could experience the Lord in such a real, personal and passionate way not only through these prayers but through his passion. Our God still suffers, each soul is his bride and we must ask ourselves where we fit in. Which bride our we to the Lord. The one with many lovers, (money, man, the world etc), the bride who is to busy ( with family, holidays, career etc) or the bride who despises the cross (who is always complaining, hates to suffer, doesn’t carry their cross etc). Which bride are you? The Lord is calling to his “unfaithful brides not only come back to me but stay with me”. The Lord gets so much consolation from our companionship, our love, our presence. Yes! Jesus if fully God but he is also Man still…and just like any man he has needs, the needs of those he loves and those who say they love him. Please there is so much suffering going on in this world and Jesus is hurting. He calling out to his brides….he is calling out to you beloved. Will you stay with him? Be with him in worship, Be with him in prayer stay with him.

-From Jesus with Love

Star Gazing With Jesus

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It was another night in Taos, New Mexico now going to sleep at a new location, in a new bed, at a new place. The adjustment hasn’t been easy to say the least but, the Lord has been so merciful and gracious. Upon arriving I stopped hearing him like I usually would and also in fear of being deceived like I had been previously in my former blog post https://myheartoverflowing.com/2019/05/30/how-the-lord-delivered-me-from-a-religious-spirit-because-of-delayed-obedience/ .I had a great fall and was working my way back slowly to trusting again to hear from the Lord. The Lord was so sweet as I got here after my prayers I was thinking in my heart Lord will you restore our relationship again.  I heard in my heart “pull a rhema card”. These were the infamous rhemas Mother lare had talked about on her channel and had caused me to began my own rhema box. Which her just simply prophetic words from the Lord on index cards about 1,000 of them. So I did as the Holy spirit instructed and pulled a card and it said ” I will restore our relationship and the graces that were lost” I was like wow! If he doesn’t read your mail using those rhemas man. It encouraged me greatly.

 

However, as the days went on I found myself struggling with so much emotional torment of loneliness and hopelessness. Now away from my loved ones and having losing everyone to come here I wasn’t on the mountain yet but staying with Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel in their home. As we were in preparation in getting the Holy Prayer Mountain ready to make it livable for all who came. I was the first to arrive among everyone so I found my nights long and many times prayers drowned in tears asking the Lord for strength admits the assailment of the enemies lies and doubts that stormed my mind at times. It was even more difficult sensing the Lord but not really hearing from him so many times I found myself just going thru the emotions. Then one night after prayer I decided to get another rhema using the website link instead https://www.heartdwellers.org/rhema-page.html then it said

” Take a walk with me”

I usually love this rhema because I loooove talking a walk with Jesus its like an adventure every time I listened to this prompting when I received it. However, I was at a new place and it was 10:31pm at night…dark. Now, that still didn’t surprise me because when I was at my home in Texas there were times I got this rhema at 11pm at night once and it was cold, plus I didn’t have my glasses on. However, I obeyed and thought Lord what are you up too, he had me walk around with him didn’t say anything but I felt prompted to pray for my neighborhood. This time around however, having been deceived recently of a lying spirit I went to a “bible promises book” for discernment. I thought to ask Mother Clare or Father Ezekiel if it was okay to go outside but I thought let me ask holy spirit if this was the Lord and he gave me scriptures under the subject of “Marriage” . When I get that the Lord is addressing my spousal relationship with him as his bride so I knew it was the Lord but I was still a little hesitant.

You see at there house they have a pasture with a low loose wire fence that stops at the end of their back. Then you can easily cross over into the pasture there was a specific tree I was always pulled to when I felt down or to go and pray. So I felt the Lord was telling me to go to the tree and it was utterly dark, no lights at all. So I thought to myself “whew” okay Nana be brave. I just had the Lords supper so I had a monstrance with the Lord body inside and my phone as a flash light. I then began to put my shoes on and courageous slide the doors to the sun room and walked into the backyard which over looked the ever so dark vast pasture over looking the mountains. I crossed over the fence and mentioned for my guardian angel to escort me as well as I began to walk in this vast dark field repeatedly saying “Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you Jesus I trust in you”. Just then I arrived at the tree. Thinking to myself okay Jesus I am here what did you bring me out here for???….and all I heard was silence.

Then I felt prompted to look up and I was in UTTER AWE!! The Taos night sky was filled with a billion stars and a crisp beautiful clear sky filled with a billion shinning stars. My mouth dropped wide open in amazement at the beauty then at the love of God. I was flabbergasted that Jesus would have me in mind first off then not only that get me up in the middle of the night just to stargaze with him waaaa!! Yes our God does stuff like that he is so freaking romantic!! lol I said “hush Jesus hush” really you would have me come out here just to look at the stars with you…your so romantic and sweet Lord! I stood there just staring at the vastness of Gods glory and the beauty of his workmanship.

I then began to remember the scriptures which came to my mind when the Lord spoke to Abraham

Genesis 15:5

He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars–if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

I felt the Lord reminding me that promise was for me too as I had come to this place in obedience following him and another scripture came to my mind that “he knows the stars by name, that HE knew me by name before the foundation of the earth.

Psalm 147:7
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Just then my phone came across my hands and I didn’t realize how bright the flashlight was on my phone until the shadow of my hand covered entire trees. Something similar to the picture below but not quite lol

 

 

 

As I ran my what seemed to be now my GOD SIZED hand across the vast pasture, upon each tree then on mountain then the sky. As they all seemed to fit in the palm of my now GOD SIZED HAND. I began to feel the Lord speak to my heart as he reminded me that all of creation was in the palm of his hand.  The trees where in the palm of his hands, the mountain where in the palm of his hands and I too am in the palm of his hands. That I had absolutely nothing to worry that he indeed was with him and holding me thru this all. I was amazed and in all at the Lords mercy towards me and his loving kindness that continued to uphold me. I walked back with him after a few minutes of  star gazing with  my beloved, admiring his creation and how He just wanted to be with me to stargaze. So next time you take a walk be reminded he is right there next to you and take some time to smell the roses literally, or for a fluttering butterfly or a heart shaped cloud and look up in the night sky as you watch the starts go by with your beloved Jesus. Knowing that you he knows your name and He has YOU in the palm of your hands!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

To The Mountains We Go: Sacred Heart Refuge

 

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“This is going to be an international community that will come and go and stay small and intimate. They come to catch the Fire, then return to their own countries with Me to light a fire in their homeland”
– Jesus
(Still Small Voice: Messages An International Community)

I have been gone for a bit , okay a long while lol Due to a new change in direction for me. After waiting and waiting for so long the Lord has directed my feet to Taos, New Mexico to be apart of a praying community. This was truly a suprise to me when the Lord called me and wanted me to leave immeaditley. You see I now look back and recognizing he had been forming me a while for this. My walk with him began to get a lot more narrower with him during the end of March going into lent. Where I noticed he began to pull me away from public ministry and even stop me doing the outreaches I do once a month. At first I contended …as I always do then I began to yield still not understanding why or what he was doing. Then during lent he really began to have me pull away from the world altogether and not allowing me to go out even to ministry events but to only stay at his feet in prayer day and night. So after about a month an a half of this I began to get “cabin fever” I realized okay Lord your sanctifying me for sure in preparation for this next season.  Which I had my own plans about but I am learning to stop having expectations and plans with Jesus it never works out, you think I would’ve learned by now lol but nope so this all came at a surprise.

When in the beginning of May on Still Small Voice Channel, which is a ministry I am apart of and the ministry that has helped me to grow in intimacy with the Lord and even began this blog the Lord began to call out to those he had “chosen” to come to a refuge on a mountain. To leave the world and live a life of solitude and prayer with him for a time. Now upon me seeing the title I was immeaditly and utterly repulsed and I am being serious! I had been in doors for so long I was ready to get out! I was ready for the Lord to give me the green light or show me what he was preparing me for and I was sure it was going to be so exciting not deeper place into more prayer and solitude lol. I know I sound so terrible for being honest but I must be to show the grace and mercy of God. I found myself again feeling the calling strongly and recognizing that is what he was molding me for but I didn’t want it all. Has anyone struggled with surrender like me?

In the prophetic message he had made it clear that we were previlaged for this and many of us he was calling higher to a life of prayer and deeper intimacy with him. That it would be a place where we grow in discernment, in hearing his voice more clear and walking in gifts like healing and spiritual wisdom. I had got ordained a few months prior but, I hadn’t really told anyone about it. However, when I felt this call from the Lord I reached out to Mother Clare  who is my spiritual director and the head of the still small voice ministry she too confirmed that the Lord was calling me there after telling her some of the rhemas I had received. She then told me to seek the Lord and I got

Luke 5:11
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.

My card was a little revised and said ” Don’t Fear leave everything and follow me…from now you will catch men”

 

I was floored and struggled with this for 2 days crying because I didn’t realize how attached I was to my family, ministry and to be honest the world. Was I really ready to leave the world behind and plus Jesus didn’t tell me about this! lol I had plans you know not only for my life but I thought for the rest of the year but when you are walking with Jesus you must follow wherever he leads when he leads. So after about two weeks of rebellion and oppression I finally committed to leaving. The Lord had told me earlier before lent starting that he was going to began speaking to me everyday which he did and he said “everything will come against the words I am speaking to you…everything” and in deed EVERYTHING CAME AGAINST THIS CALL.

The Lord being so faithful he had already gone ahead of me, you see in the beginning of the year he surprised me by having one of my youtube follower reach out to me and bless me with a buddy pass for a whole year. She works with united airlines and felt the Lord putting me on her heart to travel anywhere in the world for FREE!! I couldn’t believe and I told the Lord ” I guess were traveling this year!” . Once again I had my own plans of where I wanted to go and when but as you know the Lord had HIS own plans for me. So when I finally made up my mind I knew the Lord wanting me to immeadilty, to obey immediately as the discipled did. I now see in his great mercy that was a second chance to the call of God. He could’ve have left me back in Texas when I resisted for those two weeks but he was so ever patient and waited. So I gave my family about a 2 day notice and told them  I was not finally leaving to follow Jesus to New Mexico. I took one bag because he had told me too “take nothing with you for the journey”

 

Luke 9:3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey–no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.

Its amazing how scripture comes to life when you are following Jesus and I he had already a ticket provided so I traveled for $0.00. AMAZING! However, Everything I mean EVERYTHING came against this call. My entire family, all my “good christian friends”, Pastors you name it. I was getting calls all over the day I was leaving and text message to not go, its dangerous, tremendous slander against the ministry all of hell used the closest people to me to detour me from coming. However, walking with Jesus I know when immense opposition comes against a direction of God it further validates for me that is right where I need to be. There was only one person on my side, with Jesus and all of heaven.

Once I finally touched down in the airport across the security lines I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and I knew Hell had lost again another battle “for nothing can oppose the will of God”.  I had the most amazing encounters with people at the airport and would love for you all to be praying for the salvation “Wayne- a new ager looking for truth and Kathy-homosexual lady looking for truth. They were wonderful souls and divinely appointed by the Lord. Upon arriving in Taos, New Mexico it was breath taking seeing the beautiful mountain and it was more beautiful when I was finally able to go and stay on the mountain as we build the community.

The Lord had given this vision to Mother Clare 20 years ago that she would be taking a group of young people with a torch then seeing them on fire thru the woods. This prayer mountain has been anointed by Saint Elijah the prophet himself to be consecrated Holy ground and a place for refuge for the remnant as well once the tribulation starts. The Holy Prayer mountain will be available for visitors next year to come and have retreats by groups/churches or personal time of solitude for anyone who wants to draw closer to Jesus and indeed of spiritual council. For those who are called there now we will have our very own hermitages in the mountain separate from one another to be alone with the Lord. It is quite amazing up there, so peaceful the air so clean and truly a place of respite. So to the mountain I go with me and Jesus walking on this crazy adventure called “Life” as He writes His story within me for his glory!

Below I have a link to some video footage I have done on my youtube channel and a prophet message from the Lord about that place. Please visit our website https://www.heartdwellers.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWgh6peBRXA&t=7s

 

Jesus’s Farting Bride

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I know this is a very candid title and its meant to be that way. You might be thinking whaa wait but stay with me I am going somewhere with this lol. Yup, That is me Jesus’s Farting Bride” I’d like to think I gave myself that title but I believe it was inspired by Holy Spirit , He truly has a sense of humor and a lesson in everything. It all began a few months ago, okay fine if I can be honest a lot longer than that lol. after eating a heavy leafy meal I entered into the Lord’s presence to spend some quality time with him. I positioned myself nicely in my prayer closet, set the mood with my pillow, music play list and lamp for low lighting. As soon as I began to worship I felt his sweet presence, so real and so warm surrounding me. However, I couldn’t help but be distracted by the sudden stirring in my belly, as bubbles and gas swirled around withing me.  As I kept thinking “no…no not right now, not in his presence please not now.” (side note: Anytime the Lord manifest his presence its like he is literally there, which he is. So I always imagine him sitting across from me Indian style or just holding me because He is..and then it happened.) I couldn’t hold it any longer and I just let it rip. Oh guys it was a long one, and they just kept coming and coming as different songs would play. I was completely embarrassed as the smell just filled up the closet, I mean utterly embarrassed. Thinking what does Jesus think of me, as I began to apologize to him shamefully. Then a break finally between the songs was an advertisement by Febreze  about a husband and wife who had to clean up stinky clothes and  the jingle  went ” When what you love stinks, when what you love stinks”. I opened my eyes in shock realizing how indeed every present Jesus is knowing that it was from him I bust out with laughter! lol JESUS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

In that moment I felt he began to speak to my heart that He doesn’t see as men sees nor does He smell like men smell. To him worship is a sweet aroma to him a fragrant offering in which he delights in. It doesn’t matter how I come to him or anyone for that matter. It made me think of the homeless, those who may be bed ridden with sores and open wounds, those who are impoverished and feel they don’t look good enough to step into a church  because “man” have made it that way. We have become so carnal in nature that often judge each other according to the flesh and not the spirit. We have made the look  and the culture of many congregation more important than the people that enter the building. We often times will keep people at a distance because of how they look.The homeless have experienced that too many times. Where many would keep them at an arms distance rather then hug and love on them. Further more, because of mans response to us when we are in this state we tend to think God is the same way. That you have to come to him when your cleaned up or you have to bring your Sunday’s best when you enter church. We also tend to have that same attitude with one another as believers. Where we become so fearful of people seeing our weaknesses that we began to where mask behind our struggles and easily try to keep up with others expectation of what a “strong faith filled believer” is suppose to be like. So we too don’t want anyone to smell the stench of our mess.

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What actually smells to the Lord is sin. Yup, sin before the Lord and the cloud of witness is like as he said it once in a prophetic message “its like putting your face in dog excrement” phee weew.  Isaiah 65:5 They say, ‘Keep to yourself, don’t come near me, for I am too holy for you!’ These practices are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all day long. So think how many people walk around looking good on the outside but before the presence of God stink terribly and how many people are judged outwardly but their hearts are a sweet fragrance before the Lord. So I want to encourage you that Jesus is so ever present whether he manifest his presence or not doesn’t change the fact that he i with you, right now in this moment. Sharing this experience you and all your experiences for that matter. He is a God that does life with us so there is no area in your life or in your past that you need to be ashamed of or hide it from him because guess what…he was there. He doesn’t judge you, condemn you or is even ashamed of you rather he encourages, approves of you and loves you deeply. I think He would also like for you not to take yourself so seriously and I’m sure would love to bring laughter to the many embarrassing moment in your life. That’s who Jesus is, the God, the bridegroom who Loves us even when we stink! lol

P.S. Bring your stinkiness to him

-From Jesus With Love

Miss Misunderstood….Lord Deliver Me

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1 Peter 3:14-17
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their intimidation;do not be shaken.”But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a defense to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope you possess. But respond with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander you will be put to shame by your good behavior in Christ. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

It has been that type of season for me. Where I find myself feeling so misunderstood and criticized as the Lord continues to break me, crush me and mold me for his purposes and use. I found myself feeling the need to defend my walk, defend what I believe, defend what I am doing, defend even how I look. However, this approach was always wrong n the first place I should’ve never tried to defend myself but, allow the Lord to do that. If I was indeed in his will but, that darn flesh always gets in the way. lol So here I am always feeling the need to say something to justify myself.

The Lord has made it clear so many times in scripture that to follow him we must deny ourselves pick up our cross and follow him, that those who love their lives will lose it but those he hate their lives will find it. Furthermore, that if we love our mother, brother sister anyone more than him we are not worth of him. So the Lord has been putting me through test within this season. I’ve had to be obedient to all that the Lord had asked me to do recognizing those around me the Lord didn’t speak to and they wouldn’t understand which was okay.

So when the Lord called me to leave my apartment than rerouted me back to my mom’s to learn humility and charity…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to work from home and not a 9-5  fully trusting him with my provision..(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me too a lifestyle of consecration and intercession…(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord called me to give my life to helping the poor and needy thereby living on only the bare necessities of life …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord began to teach me about his blessed Mother, the power of the Rosary prayer and the saints …(its okay they wont understand)

When the Lord has called me to  warn his children about his impending return and end-times prophetic events (its okay they wont understand

When the Lord has called me to follow Him….not any in the footsteps of any other minister or Pastor…(its okay they wont understand)

Why, because he hasn’t called “them” to this but me. It was out of pride many times that I felt the need too  explain or too justify myself or wanting them to really come to understand my calling but, can I be honest..I dont even fully understand what I am called too. lol So how then those around me the Lord hasn’t spoken too.  I had to remind myself of these things and recognized me wanting to be understood could easily become a form of idolatry. Which could have me bound to fear of men or seeking the praises of them. Then the Lord gave me this rhema word:

“Through scorn and contempt I am training you to be free from the opnions of men and to walk in brotherly love”

So I am coming to understand that I am not called to be understood but I am called to follow Jesus and be obedient to what he tells me alone. The Lord as able to use anyone to speak through and as a dear friend reminded me after prayer He said I feel the Lord is saying “for you to be gracious towards everyone and accept peoples criticism”. At first my flesh wanted to get defensive, well okay I got defensive lol .Then in the days ahead it sunk in that it indeed was from the Lord and his desire was for me to recognize it was him allowing  people to misunderstand me, criticize me or despise me because he was transforming me into his likeness. Just another part of the breaking from the Lord he reminded me through this book called “Imitation of Christ” that he too endured all his trials in patience and wanted me to do the same. He too was reproached by men, rebuked for his doctrine, had many contradictions, and a man acquainted with grief and sorrow but ,was completely obedient and abandoned to the Father. He wanted me to do the same for if He endured this cross to be crushed for our sake than how much more I for love of him and my brother. So I began to pray to the Lord, Father please deliver me from wanting to be understood in Jesus name!

So I ask of you, are you called by the Lord but find yourself feeling as if you have to defend that call, have to explain yourself, or tell others what the Lord has spoken to  you to do? Have you found yourself  feeling alone many times, no one to understand you but   desiring to be obedient to the Lord? Then began to thank the Lord for this cross he has allowed you to bare because you look just like him now! He is slowly but surely break, crushing and molding YOU at of YOU so that YOU die and He lives his life in you. He is teaching you not to be moved by the opinions of men, nor having their praise validate who you are but teaching you to trust him and seek praise only from above.  It wont be easy but so rewarding as you….and me both endure patiently.

-Miss…Undertood

From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

fall-into-him

 

Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Renewing My Vows

20140303-Renewal-vows

 

I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

MiryPit.main

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love

Wholly Given Over To Holiness

Glowing Bible and dark city

(Kevin Carden Photography)

I heard a pastor say that this millennial generation has some of the best preaching, teachings and catchy lines since the church began because we have podcast, old sermons, great man and and woman of God we can glean from. As the the word of God says in the latter days knowledge would increase. So we have obtain much knowledge to feed our generation but we  lack more than any generation….personal holiness.
How many of  us have allowed the word of God to transform our heart, our minds and our way of life? Its not just about catchy phrases, cute apparel, how much wisdom you know or how well you can recite another preachers sermon but how have you allowed the word of God to take root to transform your life.

1 Peter 1:16
Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy

Interestingly the Lord never said ” YOU ARE holy for I am holy…..no he said BE Holy for I am holy. That means there is a part that all believers take part in the work and process of becoming holy. Yielding yourself completely to the holy spirit not even knowing the cost but giving yourself solely and whole heartily to it because you love Jesus. Not out of obligation or religious superiority but out of the love for the God that you serve to be more like him. The Holy Spirit is who empowers us to live holy lives before the Lord. I just love this statement “ We will not successfully resist the temptation of hollow, fleeting pleasures if we live in a “fascination vacuum.” We must be preoccupied with a superior fascination. A spiritually bored believer is vulnerable to Satan when he comes knocking at their door—that is why sins of our flesh are running rampant in the Body of Christ. But my point is not to give a list of other preoccupations; rather, to say that the reason that so many believers are addicted to fleshly pleasures is because they live in a spiritual vacuum. They have settled down and become content to live in spiritual boredom. I urge you not to be content to live this way. The key to successfully resisting temptation is not just loving Jesus in a vague, general way and hoping to avoid sin. We need something that really grips us spiritually. We need to live fascinated! Fascinated with God. I am not talking about going to Bible school, going on a missions trip, or being on an outreach team. We need something far more gripping than that: in the secret place of our lives we need to know and experience more of Jesus.”

What does Holiness look like?  that “The call to holiness is a call to enjoy God. Holiness is not a call to miss out on fun. Yes, we are missing out  sinful activities, but our heart is not missing out. Those activities will never satisfy you, nor will they refresh you or deeply connect you to other people. They will keep you broken, isolated, and disconnected”

Psalm 37:3–4
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart

 

As the Lord continues to take me on the journey of Holiness I have learned that the way to holiness is delighting yourself in the things of God, letting go of world pleasures and comforts that truly will never satisfy. Most importantly relying on Gods grace and asking the Holy Spirit for help when the Lord desires for me to let go of something I want to hold onto.  How we will make a difference in this world as believers is when we look separate from the world, walking in righteousness, holiness and carrying the presence of God to a dark, lonely, hopeless and dying world. The apostles and saints of old lived holy lives and I have come to see unfortunately in this generation to pursue living a  life of holiness you are immediately called “legalistic”, or “religious” but obedience is not legalism it is just that …..obedience. Our generation needs to take the word of God a lot more serious because indeed Jesus is serious about his word. I remember first reading the bible with the Holy  Spirit and I began to be so convicted of my lifestyle. I thought I could still profess Jesus and do what I desire thinking he would understand…when I asked him Jesus you are really serious about your word, I didn’t expect to him to respond until he said YES. I thought to myself….ooooh lol, thats when the Holy Spirit began to do a radical change in my heart and in my life as I continue to climb this mountain of holiness with Jesus. Falling many times in the process but yielding myself to his correction and his mercy and grace to MAKE ME HOLY AS HE IS HOLY

-From Jesus With Love

Prophetic Message From Jesus
Jesus began “As in everything we have done before, turtle steps; the steady, unwavering tortoise wins over the impetuous hare. And My Mercies are new every morning as you pursue the course set out for you. Just be aware, My love, continually, that you are moving towards the goal of detachment from all earthly values, even the opinions of men. Shall the servant of God hearken to the wisdom of men? No.”

“I’m calling you to live a holy life no matter which life you choose. But if you choose holiness with great consistency, you will find it increasingly hard to live in the world. That is why I am forever telling you who are young on this channel to leave the world and join a mission effort. But you will have to come to Me and ask for courage, because everyone will come against you in your decision.