The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

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It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going  fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around.  One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had  she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught  the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness.   I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if  Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you  know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well.  Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love

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Learning To Babysit With Jesus

 

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      “Each Of Them Is Jesus In Disguise”- Mother Teresa

I love that quote from above because in fact that what the Lord has been teaching me as  I am babysitting my three nieces and nephews for the past few months. I found myself feeding my beautiful nieces Elly who is 8 months, and in my heart frustrated at my circumstances and honestly resenting the fact that I seem to have no time to “work on MY stuff”.  Which is alot of ministry work I do online and as this fleeting thought crossed my mind as I was feeding her the bottle as the Lord gently interrupted my thoughts to say, “Look at her, every time you feed her your feeding me. Your holding baby Jesus”. I began to recognizes how foolish I had been these past few months. I thought about how our savior came as a baby himself and I don’t know if Mary ever had someone watch Jesus who knows. lol Maybe her cousin Rachel and imagine her being frustrated because she had better things to do thank watch Jesus. Sounds so silly but all of these thoughts came to my mind at that moment and I found myself repenting before the Lord.

These few months he indeed has been revealing how impatience I am and can be easily angered by children nonetheless. What is so sad is that I loooove children…honestly I really do lol I know that is part of my ministry. I would love to help and love on orphaned kids. However, how can I show unconditional love, patience and grace to broken, abused orphaned kids and not to my own nieces (slap to the face) Lord help me lol. So when the Lord called me back to my moms house a few months ago I just didn’t understand. Then having me work a full time job to being released from that job to now babysitting full time 3 beautiful, firecracker girls everyday has been quite of an adjustment for sure. The Lord gave me this rhema when I asked why he called me back home.

                                                  “Charity begins at home
                                                                     Love
                                                Love until it hurts that is how Jesus loved”

Which has been becoming a reality ever day as the days pass on. I can get so anxious about my situation at times thinking Lord when, again, when again seems like I am always waiting. Now recognizing  I am still waiting because it seems I still have A LOT to learn and dying to self. You see a couple months ago I got a job marketing an online ministry which I was so excited about. Besides that I have this blog to write weekly, Thinking that watching my nieces is not “ministry work” so I would hurriedly get one ready for school, feed the others and anxiously rush to get to work online. I found myself being easily irritated or impatience when I would be interrupted ( now I am like Nana they are kids for goodness sakes that’s what they do best smh).

I found the Lord chastising me in my alone time with my lack of patience and my frustration concerning my circumstance rather than thanking him. He began to remind me once again, that He is right here with me and I am doing none of this alone unless I wanted too. So I should see him on the couch with me when I watch them play, changing the diapers with me, fixing their bottles with me in the kitchen, just so ever present with me through it all. Not only that but to see him in each of my nieces. That in Elly (10 month) I get to witness baby Jesus growing up before my eyes, that in my (3 year old) niece I get too see Toddler Jesus growing up and my (4 yearold) niece Zay Zay I get to take care of a paralysis Jesus. He indeed is in each of them, so as I serve by nieces I am serving Jesus! One day sometime last week he told me to leave my work and enter into child like grace by playing with the kids for an hour. Oh how refreshing it was! So I am learning even in the waiting the most important thing is not the destination, or even what you do but that you recognize that HE is with you. Furthermore he loves to be invited in your day in the most minimalist task to not only be with you but DO it all with you.  So will you invite Jesus to DO “it” with you you? Whatever that “it” maybe , why not let “it’ be EVERYTHING you do….do it with JESUS!

 

zay

(Firecracker #1 Zay Zay)

 

noms

(Firecracer #2 Naomi )

 

elly

(Firecracker #3 Elly Noel 10 months)

Matthew 25:45
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tending the Sheep: God’s Preparation and Process

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1 Samuel 16:13, 17
13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah. …….
17 So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me a man who can play well and bring him to me.” 18 One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.” 19 Therefore Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me David your son, who is with the sheep.” 20

 

This past Tuesday we had our young adults service where the pastor talked about insecure and secure leaders. She made stark comparisons between the leadership of Saul and David. There was one thing that really struck my heart, that after David being anointed king he immediately went back to doing what he was doing…tending the sheep. Then later was summoned to serving the reigned King Saul. He immediate wasn’t placed on the throne, He never showed any impatience about Gods timing , He didn’t feel that tending the sheep was beneath him now that he had been anointed king. To be frank he didn’t allow his new found title or anointing to cause him to despise returning to his humble beginnings. David trusted God in the preparation and the process. There is a lot I can learn from David.

I found myself waking up last week feeling discouraged and impatience about my situation. Remembering the promises of God and what he has called me too I began to be frustrated still staying at my moms house and now babysitting all day. Finding myself struggling to be a good steward of my time and being able to get any work done for the Lord because of watching the kids. I began to feel like this was all that there was  because at the end of last year I found myself in the same predicament helping my other sister out by taking her to work@5 am, taking the kids to school by am and baby sitting them after-school. It was rough as I found myself grumbling and complaining in discontentment asking the Lord when….when will I do what you have called me too. Then He said

“Stop complaining I am preparing you for marriage”

I was like waaaaa lol, okay Jesus. The interesting thing is I have a heart for children and I know I am called to them. One prophecy I received is that I am called to missions and my life will be a testimony to children. I always had it in my mind to raise a lot of kids or even a orphanage. So I should’ve known that the Lord was preparing me with children ministry 101 with my nieces and nephews. Every step in this journey has been preparation. The Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance what was said at our young adults service about King David this week when I woke wanting to sit in my discouragement and discontentment. Nana, you are just now in your sheep field as David was that doesn’t take away your anointing, doesn’t take away the calling upon your life or my presence. As David went back o the sheep field after being anointed to be prepared some more so do I train my servants the same way who are called to a high calling. Find your confidence, security and trust in me and me alone not what you are doing. Don’t become impatience but trust in the field is where you are being trained. At your mom’s house is where you are being trained to “love until it hearts, for charity begins at home”, where you learn to put children before ministry, where you learn how to be patience with he little ones and teach them about me, where you learn how to manage your time and multi-task, where I am preparing you for motherhood, where you learn humility and total reliance on me. Trust MY preparation and MY process, when you do that I am forced to continuously give you more graces to do what I have called you to do.

So have you found yourself excited, called and anointed by God for a task but you find yourself going back….back too your sheep field (whatever that may look like). Back the the place of humble beginnings and it looks like you have gone backwards then forwards? Well, praise God lol Don’t get discouraged, impatience, or discontent but began to first see the lesson he wants you to learn in your sheep field and most importantly trust the preparation and process being secure that the Lord our God is faithful to finish and complete what he has started!

-From Jesus with Love

God Carries A Picture Of Me In His Wallet!

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So this term was coined by Pastor Todd White and when I first heard it all I could do was laugh at not only the truth in that statement but, the reality that our God is truly a proud parent of all his children. As believers sometimes it hard to receive Gods love. We here it used so loosely at time. God loves you and we think yea I know but,……..if we really search our hearts we have to ask yourself do you really know how loved you are by God, do you? Because I believe if we really knew how much God loved us we would live not only differently but accordingly. If we can be honest, including myself, sometimes our love for him can be so conditionally and I believe we have been taught that way. As if Gods love is conditional too, that when we go through hard times, death, suffering, trials, poverty, rejection, the list can go on that means God doesn’t love us or your not blessed. However, when we go through blessing, riches, elevation, promotion, and have favor with men that means God loves us. Such a twisted incorrect perspective which is such an injustice to our identity once we are saved. You see Jesus died on the cross because of your sin not for it, he died because your sin caused you to be not only separated from God the Father but from your true identity as his child walking in fellowship and communion with him. So he had to die because of your sin there fore redeeming you back to God the father so that you can now have fellowship and communion with him daily as Adam did. His blood restored your identity back to who you were before Adam sinned. That’s why he continues to call his children justified by the cross, justified by the blood, justified if we confess and believe in his son Jesus. Romans 8:30 Those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified, Justified: Just-as-if- you never sinned! YOU are a son & daughter of the Most High King period. That’s who you are right now, nothing can change that who yearns to have deep intimate relationship with all his children. That’s why God created us for relationship with him, he created us for himself that’s it. Its so simple but it sounds so foolish to those who are perishing

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

If you let that sink in, it blows your mind. I remember having that revelation of his love and its almost overwhelming. That God created the universe for us but created little ole me for himself. That I am the most precious commodity, I am his masterpiece, I am his favorite prized one, I am everything to him and despite all I have done and will do. His love, his adorations, his gaze, his glory, is focused on me so much so that He has now come to make his home inside of me because he loves me! That can blow anyone’s mind lol  When I first read Psalm 139 and

Psalm 8:4-6
What is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and have crowned him with glory and honor

I laughed because I thought to myself David gets it! I love King David because the revelation of Gods love for him and Israel made him even dance in his lossley garments in front of all Israel and he didn’t care one bit. 2 Samuel 6:14 Wearing a lined ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might. You know so many times we walk around condemnation because we messed up but God doesn’t condemn you and never will because you are his child. We walk around in guilt or shame because of our past but when God sees you, he sees you as you never sinned your his child. We walk around victimized, hurt, & rejected by others but, God has never rejected you because of the finished work of Jesus blood you have been accepted as his child. We walk around thinking God is too busy, not really present, hard to reach, not really concerned with the details of our lives but,  you are his child so just as he walked with Adam in the cool of the day he now walks with you every single second, of every single day, wherever you go. He so desperately wants you to be conscious of that because living a life WITH God is so much better than FOR him. As your perspective changes you no longer see yourself as a slave following rules and directions but as a child holding their fathers hand going on crazy, surprising, sometimes difficult bur rewarding adventure!

I love the song Pieces by Amanda Cook from Bethel Church because the lyrics are so beautiful and true. Many times in our relationship the Holy spirit has reminding me of Gods love through this song. May favorite parts of the lyrics is the first verse when she states :
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, its unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me

So during my alone time with the Lord he showed me a beautiful picture in my heart of many of his children walking around with their heads down desponded, hopeless, feeling dirty, unclean, ashamed, condemned and he was in heaven shouting at the top of lungs with such excitement saying Look, look guys, you see that one, yup that’s my son. Oh ooooh look over there yup this one. She is mine that’s my daughter with such love and excitement he was boasting about them in front of all of heaven.
Some of these people were homeless, looked dirty, one was a prostitute, some others were just who were just ashamed of their past, what they had done or were doing. Some were so broken and hurt because of the rejection they faced from others and felt so isolated and alone. Yet, here God the Father was in so much, almost child like giddy excitement proudly boasting that is my child! Haha, that’s exactly what his love looks like its so unashamed and it proud to be seen with you regardless of what the world thinks of you, treats you or what people say. You are a child of God period, His love for you is truly unconditional period, He always is ever present with  you and will NEVER leave you period and he wants you to know that and live this love out WITH him….period lol.So guess what, God has a picture of YOU in his wallet too boasting all day about you, because when he sees you he sees your true identity, his child, a heir to throne of the kingdom of God!

 

2 Corinthians 6:18
And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

God bless you child of God!

Living Heaven On This Earth Through Child Like Faith

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You know coming into the fullness of my relationship with the Lord I have heard from those around me say I seem to be child like almost naïve. Which was slightly discouraging to say the least however, the Lord has given me revelation of what it means to enter into the kingdom with child like faith! Then I also had another person make a statement they heard a pastor preach stating that in the bible it states no man can see God face to face referencing Moses. So those who say they have seen Jesus or gone to heaven are lying because its not possible. Hearing that I was dumbfounded and couldn’t believe so many believe that reality. During contemplating those thoughts and how the Lord has manifested his presence in my life in such amazing ways. He gave me the revelation of the scripture  Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven . This scripture is for our lives now, there are many believers who have intellectual knowledgeable minds not so much as a child and they will inter into the kingdom however, I believe the Lord means for those who are living on this earth we have the ability to experience heaven on earth now!. As the Lord prayer states in Matthew 6:10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

 In heaven we will see the Lord face to face, walking and talking with him experiencing his presence daily. Then I had another friend tell me she loves how I see God in everything and I told her yea he is here with me in everything. I soon realized he has given me the grace to have child like faith which he wants all his children to have. So many of us have made Jesus a religion, theology, a building, an image, or even just the bible to be honest. We believe for things so far away in our thought….oh only once when we get to heaven, or Jesus doesn’t do the things of the bible anymore. However, its time we empty ourselves of your ways and what we  have been taught and stop putting Jesus in a box with limitation. Thinking there is no way we can possible see Jesus face to face while living…does his word say “Matthew 5:8  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God“….there is no possible way that Jesus literally talk to us, hearing his voice audible that is the old testament idea…didn’t he say John 10:27 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me“…..there is no possible way to have supernatural heavenly experiences…… You see as Christians a lot of us lack that child like faith & imagination. Ask him to empty you of yourself, all your beliefs and limitations you put on him and even pride. Then Jesus, him for child like faith and imagination I guarantee it you will began to see how present he is with you everyday! Its the most amazing experience and walk you can have with the only Living true God, our Lord Jesus Christ. You will began to see him in his daily consolations to you, I tell my sisters that Jesus is the best imaginary friend I could’ve ever asked for LOL. Yea I said, Jesus is the image of the invisible God but he is ever so present and real even though at times you wont see him but, the longer you walk with him and acknowledge him believing in child like faith his presence because more real to you. Who knows by his mercy will open your spiritual eyes manifest his physical presence to you. He desires so desperately to be acknowledged in all we do and once you began to do that. He will go with you shopping, help you pick out outfits, bring people to you, sing love songs over you via the radio or walking into a store, or whether its in a form of a butterfly fluttering around you just to say, Hey I love you (one of the ways he shows me his presence),  or is hearing his voice audibly, or having him manifest in a dream and talk to you. He desires to be acknowledged daily and included in all that you do because he is there! When I began to see the Lord not only as my God and Father but as my friend who yearns to walk and talk with me daily. I began to treat him as such, talking to him in my car, shower, at the mall people watching haha, at the movies, cooking at the house.Just honestly including him in everything I do and he began to include me in the work of his kingdom as well revealing to me his heart in such amazing ways. So lets humble ourselves and enter into heavens kingdom now on this earth by trusting the Lord and coming to him like a child would to their father and including him in everything like you would a friend! God bless!