The Hidden Sin Of Venting….Lord I repent

Image result for someone with hands over their mouth

 

So Lord has been really exposing the hidden sins in my life and how easily I just fall prey to them. It is indeed a grace the Lord gives to a soul to reveal the depravity of your own sins and it humbles you. Causing you not to look down on others but to see them better than yourself as you become aware of your many weaknesses. He has been really pushing me to be sincere, honest and transparent so it gives others the freedom to do so. Many times in this christian walk we tend too….wait who am I kidding we just don’t tend too but almost always we never talk about our weakness or sins we struggle with but Paul told us to boast about our weakness so we can receive more of Christ grace….Lord knows I need it lol

 Proverbs 17:9  Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

So I have a confession to make one of my many hidden sins is….venting or repeating an offense because that’s exactly what it is. I found myself being offended by an action of a friend and at first. I kept it between me and Jesus forgiving him and also seeing how Jesus wanted to humble me in that situation as well. However, as days when one I found myself  repeating the matter too two other people with out mentioning names but in all honestly just to see if I was validated in my offense. Which in the eyes of God no offense is ever validated because were suppose to walk in love and forgive all offenses. So why do we vent? You would’ve thought after telling the first friend I became convicted and repenting of back biting just to turn around and do it again with another friend who gently admonished for walking in pride as well because I felt justified in my feelings. Then this scripture popped into my heart and I knew I fell again….Lord help your daughter. This scripture above is soooo true. How many times do we get offended by what others do then turn around tell another friend, tell a stranger, post about it on social media, vent about it on a blog, twitter wherever other would listen  rather than honestly taking it to Jesus and leaving it there.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool vents all his anger, but a wise man holds it back.

The Lord calls someone who vents, or repeats an offense a fool. Sheesh there way to many fools then lol living in a culture that is so matter fact to do that, even feeling entitled to do that but its an offense a sin against the Lord. Not only that but its a WIDE open door for the demons to come and sift you. With venting comes slander, gossip, impatience, anger, division and many others to bring your demise or destroy that relationship/friendship. Imagine quickly, the many times Jesus had the opportunity to be offended the best example was when HE KNEW  Judas would betray him but still never uttered his name to the other disciples, complained about him to the Father or treated him any different. So if Jesus could protect, love and show grace to someone HE KNEW was already going to betray him then why cant we. When we find ourselves offended by something someone does especially a close friend because when we repeat the matter it sows seeds against that person and now everyone you vented too has a bad perception of that person that they didn’t have before.
So next time you feel justified to vent or repeat an offense:

  1. Vent to  Jesus– He is the ONLY one who is able to do anything about it, the ONLY one who sees from a just perspective and not your perspective or the other person in loved. He is also is the best listener and the best person to tell secret feelings too lol because he heals your heart then calls you higher which always leads to repentance
  2. Don’t go on social media indirectly talking about that situation or person….you just look like a fool and you open a demonic door
  3. Whatever you do don’t, don’t, tell another friend because that’s where it becomes gossip and don’t think you can be slick by telling about the situation but not mentioning the name lol. The Lord know exactly who you are talking about and its offense before him

Venting and or repeating an offense to someone else honestly shows the lack of love in our hearts and our unwillingness to show grace. When the Lord gives us soooo much grace when we mess up and offend him. He says,  in Hebrews 8:12 our sins are forgiven never to be remembered again. If you find yourself reading this and recognize you too have a problem with this hidden sin then congrats your a mess like me! lol So lets repent and ask the Lord to give us the grace to walk in a greater love and forgive all offenses never to repeat them in Jesus name!

-From Jesus with Love

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Spiritual Muscles Are Grown In The Fire

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The Lord indeed uses temptation, trials, problems, tribulation, the valleys of life, the wilderness and the fire to grow our spiritual muscles……just so he can then give us a crown of beauty instead of ashes

 James 1:1-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Many Christians cry out for the fire of God. We ask the Lord to fill us with his fire, consume us with his fire, set us on fire and when the fire comes we…..run in fear, in confusion, in hurt and complaint. (or am I just talking to myself  lol) I would tell the lord that in my prayer time as I would look at the apostles of old who where endowed with power when the fire of the Holy Spirit came upon them or seeing many of his servants who are so consumed with the fire of his love that they walk in such a beautiful intimacy with him. I just didn’t comprehend the fire would be so hot at times and comes to not really set us on fire but to BURN EVERYTHING IN US THAT IS NOT OF HIM.  This season has indeed been a time in the fiery furnace and the more I walk with Jesus I recognize that the purification process its just that a process. Its not a one time thing but continuous testing of our love for our God and our neighbor in every season I believe one way or the other.

However, what I am recognizing why the Lord tells us to count it joy is that not only is it an opportunity to become more intimate with him in these trials because we run to him and to be purified but once we get out of self pity, the complaining, and the pain of it he would like to teach us how to walk through the fire. Equipping us with lessons, and strategic strategy against the enemy. Trials equip us for Spiritual Warfare and grow our spiritual muscles. Just as when you work out the more resistance you have the more your muscles grow and become stronger. However, anyone who works out knows when you began to work out with resistance your muscles began to tear, it burns, the next day your muscles are so sore and when they rebuild they are stronger than they were before. That’s how trials are for believers, when the Lord allows the enemy to bring resistance, it tears sometimes our very foundation, it can shake your whole world apart but the Lord allows it to tear down in us what is not of him, to shake our fragile foundation in order to build upon it the rock. The fire never consumes us even though many times it feels like that but it comes to refine and purify us.

I love what this Pastor said just yesterday when I went to my sisters bible study he reference Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship and conjunction with 2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. That when we offer our bodies as a living sacrifice that means to die to ourselves as the Lord test and tries us and the fire of God comes to burn out the chaff in us and kill our flesh completely and as we burn which is all SELF..self esteem, self confidence, self opinion, self will, self-pride, self help we than become a sweet aroma., pleasing to the Lord.

So I don’t know about you but the word of God says if one suffers we are all suffering in the body. So I believe many others are going through fiery trials right now, you may be asking the Lord why me, I cant take it any longer, Lord deliver me, but I am learning that when fiery trials come the weapon of our warfare is PRAISE AND WORSHIP…truly. That’s the weapon of choice, counting it joy. Lord can you please give us the grace to see from your perspective through our trials and sing our way through the fire as David did so many time. So be encouraged my fellow brethren, you are in training don’t run from the process but be steadfast and preserver! Praying for you all

-From Jesus with love

 

Jesus Is Saying, “Honey I am Home….”

Jesus in a house

” Honey I am Home”…. a popular phrase that was coined by a tv show in the 1990’s that has come back to me this week during my alone time with the Lord. As he reminds me many times throughout the day Nana, Honey I am Home’. When I get too caught up with distractions or busyness of this life that can so easily take my heart and mind off my sweet bridegroom. Who is waiting on me to break away from the world just so I can come into the chambers of my heart to be with him, where he dwells. Indeed our bodies, our hearts are his home where he desires to dine with us, be with us in a very real way.

Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

Many people are desiring intimacy with Jesus but, it will cost you. It will cost you giving up the many “so called good” things of this world that re impure and filthy in the Lords eyes. He is looking for a pure heart to dwell in. A heart that has made room for him to live and glean consolations from. The many “good” things seem harmless to us but to the Lord its sinful, offensive, toxic and unholy. We have to recognize that Jesus lives within us what we eat, watch, listen too, what we do is also done to him because his spirit dwells in our temples which is our bodies. So every time you sit down to watch that movie Jesus is watching it, when you listen to that worldly song Jesus is hearing it, when you eat food that is so unhealthy to your body Jesus is eating it, when you talk about others, gossip, slander, cast judgement Jesus hears it all.  We serve a  God who is holy and desires that we are holy as well so he may dwell in us at a greater capacity.

Matthew 25: 1:5
At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.
 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

If you have heard the story of the 10 Virgins that is a perfect example of 5 brides who carried the oil of intimacy and 5 who once where intimate but, fell asleep. We can liken that to the times we are living in where many were once on fire for the Lord and have now fallen to sleep in lukewarmness. Jesus is looking for a temple, a body, a heart, a bride whose home is committed to purity. That just like a real husband who is headed home from a long days work would want his home to be his safe haven. A wife who has kept up the house, has dinner ready and waiting upon her husband to pamper him and love on him. What man wouldn’t want to come home everyday to that! lol Jesus is the exact same way. He is so very real with a deep deep desire and longing for his brides.  His eyes search the whole world and after enduring a long day of eternal work, a long day of being rejected, blasphemed, spoken again, ignored and taking advantage of by so many other souls in the world. He rushes back to his bride who is burning with an oil of intimacy, He rushes to the chamber of the hearts of those who are commitment to purity, from sin of this world, who always keep their thoughts and mind on him by making a throne room in their hearts for him to sit after a longs day work. A bride who is ready to sit at his feet in prayer at any moment when he calls for her. He longs to hear and smell the sweet fragrance of  her worship and praise because no man wants a nagging complaining wife not even Jesus! Now to that bride when he calls he simply says “Honey I am Home”!

Will you allow your heart to truly be the resting place for Jesus? Commit yourself to purity so our bridegroom can have another place he can call his Heaven on Earth!

-From Jesus With Love

Still Small Voice Youtube Channel/ Heartdwellers Ministery
Message Jesus Answers His Bride How To Hear & See Me
“I know. Oh, how I love each and every one that is seeking Me. That is why I am here to explain the direction they need to take. You know the things that offend Me. Sin offends Me very much. Sin in clothing, or lack of it, sin in violence, crime, hatred, gossip, backbiting, jealousy, adulteries. Soap operas are the epitome of sin and extremely noxious to Me. Like your-nose-in-fresh-dog-excrement noxious. I mean very, very bad. These things not only offend Me but also the Heavenly court, the angels and the saints. Yet in your world they are matter-of-fact, part of everyday life.

“How can I embrace a Bride, when her mind is full of filth such as this? These things have half- lives, they linger and linger and linger. Over and over again I must see these things as they are recalled to your memory.

“Do you understand, “Blessed are the pure for they shall see God.”? Do you now understand why so many cannot find Me in their prayers? Yes, seek Me until you find Me, but first, clean your house. Come to Me clean, create a throne room in your heart that is undefiled with the filth of this world. And I must say it is not only filth, but worldliness that is offensive to Me.

“Carnal preoccupations with cooking, sewing, decorating, buying, selling, having this and having that. Shopping. Wanting this and wanting that. Oh, those idols are detestable to Me and when I find that kind of clutter in a heart, I want to run the other way. And when I see that a soul prefers that to My company, well… My heart collapses in sadness. Oh, how could you prefer these worthless idols to Me, how could you?”

When The Lord Allows A Fall…..A Hard One

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Wheew, I cant describe how these past few week have been….very painful for starters. I found myself with my peace completely gone, anxious, fearful, hopeless, pride, confusion and in continuous doubt and unbelief. None of these are the fruits of the spirit by the way  which is Galatians 5:23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”. I knew that I was under attack, I knew that I was being sifted by the enemy but I didn’t know I was under correction until after a few days of humbling myself in Gods presence he gave me:

Proverbs 3:11 -12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in.[a]

 

Ouch! I had fallen and fallen hard. The Lord reveled to me it was because of me speaking against his servants, other Christians and even ministers. At first I objected (do you see how much pride I have slap to the face) As if God is not all knowing but I really had to examine my heart. I truly try to make a conscious decision not to entertain gossip or speaking against people. However, the Lord showed me these past few weeks many instances happened which looked a certain way and because it looked so clear to me I then began to cast judgment on others, become accusatory, critical, and suspicious of motives. We all know only the Lord can judge the motives and because I was repeating these things to others I made it even worse by spreading this poison which seemed so valid to me. I also had judged people in my heart and reacted out of my flesh many times getting defensive, combative thinking they were in the wrong.

Now many Christians today don’t believe that God being so good can allow bad things to happen to us. However, this scripture above explains it all when we walk in sin the Lord protection is removed and he will allow the enemy to sift us which in turns brings us back running to his feet. Its a chastening alright a painful one, but a lesson I promise you will never forget. Not only that but,  you will learn from so that you may be able to help others.

So I didn’t realize it but my soul, my heart was in a mess. I no longer stood in purity before the Lord even if others couldn’t notice it. I had no idea how far I had wandered off from the Lord and recognizing how suttle Satan had been in his snares he had set up for me. He used old memories to replay in my mind that looked just like the circumstance I was in so I automatically judged people assuming  the motives where the same as my old memories. They had to be right, the old memories and my situation looked so parallel and familiar. However I discerned out of my fear rather than seeking the Lord to see his perspective and found out the real motives.

Pslam 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Man that is exactly what Jesus did and I  failed and fell hard but in the kingdom every failure is an amazing lesson. If you humble yourself and yield to be made willing to the Lord will. He will restore you , heal you and strengthen you. So I am now undergoing a healing and deliverance process. Where the Lord is uprooting many things in my heart like bitterness, self righteous spirit, fear, insecurity, jealousy, root of rejection, and anxiety. So that I may be whole again walking in true freedom and purity of heart before him an others. I am not ashamed to say I have sinned against God and my brethren but I love that where sin abounds Gods grace abounds even more. In his wonderful mercy he saved me by allowing a fall to bring me to my face at his feet. Where he has been there to comfort, correct and teach me his ways again like a child I am.
So if you find yourself in the same feelings ask youself have you offended God in anyway. Search your heart and quietly examine it then come before the Lord in repentance. He is there to bind and heal your wounds too. Be encouraged!

-From Jesus With Love

 

But all of you My Children must learn to fall gracefully and get up graciously restored by My forgiveness and by the way My antidote for your error. Do not be afraid to look at a situation and say, “I made a mistake.” Because when you get up you will be that much more informed and skillful in the ways of discernment. There can be no growth without error. A soul must have the freedom to make a mistake and be fully reinstated. A soul cannot grow if they avoid the possibility of making an error. I want you all to grow in discernment, that’s why I make it so easy for Clare to recover herself after an error. I want you to be free to blow it without loosing anything in My eyes. If your eyes are on men, you will not want to admit a failure…because you know what men do to people who aren’t perfect. They expose and tare them down.

-Jesus
(from Still Small Voice Youtube Channel message: A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break)

Renewing My Vows

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I am hearing His whisper….
Today you will renew your vows to Me. I will cause you to remember those words you spoke to Me when I first unveiled My love in Your heart. You said to Me that you will love Me and serve Me and go with Me where I lead you.
Today you will renew that vow to Me. And you will know that I am in You, even as you are in Me. I am energized to show you My love as you renew your passion to do My will. There is a work ready for you to do, good works that will bring Me much glory.
You are ready, for I have prepared you. The only thing that now remains is that you fasten Your heart to Mine and come with Me. I will revive your soul until your life overflows with My goodness. Many will see and trust in Me as your life presents My fullness to others.
I will cause the veil to drop in front of you and you will gaze upon mysteries you have never seen before. You will see what angels see and feel the fire of My passion.
What I will reveal to you cannot be learned by books or through the instructions of men. I, Myself, will make your heart to know Me and understand My ways. The preparation I am calling you is this: renew your vows of love to Me today and I will show you things that will change you forever.

– Passion Translation

“I have fallen, I have fallen and I can’t get up”…..this has been the cry of my heart this season. Woooo………. it has been a whirl wind of battle after battle that I continuously failed; because I allowed my flesh and emotions to get in the way of what the Lord was trying to do. Which was to grow me more in virtue and character to resemble him as his bride. I didn’t realize how miserably I had failed until I found myself brokenhearted, wounded, utterly discouraged, weary and looking back to see the many missed opportunities where I could’ve responded like him….in LOVE.

Instead I had allowed seeds of resentment, bitterness, unforgivness to fall in my heart. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to steal my peace, my joy, and even my hope. I had indeed fallen and wasnt sure how to get up anymore. I began to have pride swell in my heart as I questioned Gods ways, wanting to have understanding and feeling entitled too a different path of MY CHOICE and not the one he had laid out for me, because it was so uncomfortable and painful. I thought to myself,  of course this has to be wrong and MY WAY has to be right. ( I got God figured out right) ?WRONG!. I  was frustrated as I continued to worry instead of trust, and question instead of seeking his face for clarity.

What made things worse in light of all of these things was that my weakness was put on  display for others to see. As the enemy would push sensitive buttons over and over again and as I would react in my flesh over and over again. I began to despise my weakness and cried out to the Lord to heal me, fix me but what I love about Jesus is that he is not like a man at all. He gently picked me up in prayer, held me to his chest so tightly and allowed me to be there. Without any words his love would wash over me and he understood perfectly every fiber of my being, he understood perfectly every pain and torment I was going through, he understood perfectly my wants and needs that only he could fulfill. As I felt him say in my heart  ” Beloved don’t despise your weakness or be ashamed for others to see it. In fact boast in your weakness so my grace would be perfected in you. I made you just the way you are in your weakness so you could rely on me even more. Your weakness calls you to intimacy with me”

So this weekend I told the Lord I want to get away with him. I am desperate for his presence and to hear his words of truth to wash away the lies and labels I incurred. I am in need of his balm of Gilead to be poured out upon my heart to heal and strengthen me and his words of wisdom to give me clarity and direction in this season of my life. So 3 1/2 years into our relationship I am going to renew my vows again to Jesus. I am going to empty myself of all I think I know, of all I have been taught and sit at his feet like a child to be taught all over again.  I need him to rekindle the fire of my love so I may continue this journey with the same passion and love for his will in my life. I believe as his bride its so important we do this from time to time. We can begin to get so casual with our relationship with Jesus that we sometimes lose our way and fall….not knowing how to get back up, but we thank God that he runs to pick us up and is still willing to continue this journey with us!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

When The Arrows Hit,Head Into Triage

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Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

 

Jesus began
“what I am wanting to stress to all of you right now, is that there is a particularly intense battle going on to steal from you your special destinies and mission. The enemy has launched an all-out effort to deprive you of your callings. The distractions and tactics will come in many different forms, and forewarned is fore-armed. Not all that seems bad is bad; not all that seems good is good. Each thing must be discerned on an individual basis. This is at the heart of following Me faithfully and living in My Divine Will. Constant attentiveness and discernment are necessary to navigate these shark-infested waters.”

So what do you do when you find yourself hit by many fiery darts of the enemy? As any soldier would do, you run for the triage unit to have them heal your wounds so you can be strengthened and ready for another battle. So as a believer when we are hit we should run to our triage which is in the presence of God to be healed and restored.

The message above is from still small voice youtube channel, a prophetic ministry that I am a part of and the Lord provides daily messages to us. He couldn’t be more right that indeed these few weeks have been some of the most intense battles I have faced. In the spirit Fiery darts of the enemy can come in so many forms and boy how they hurt. Many Christians equate them to negative emotions or a feeling not recognizing they have just been hit. As Christians we have to remember we are at all times in a battle for our faith. The devils and demons are very real. They go to many lengths to bring us to unbelief so then you no longer began to hold up your shield of faith for protection.

A fiery dart is a tool the enemy uses to inject us with his poison. It happens when someone says a mean word that cut your heart, a curse word, negative label put on you, feeling rejection, abandoned, betrayed, fearful, doubt, jealously, pride there are so much more. They just dip the dart in  ( poison)whatever attack they have assigned to you and release it. If you are not covered in your full Armour (meaning walking in righteousness the arrows land) which cause the negative emotions and before you know it your offended. If you don’t repent immediately  then RUN INTO TRIAGE that poison begins to spread in your heart and cause seeds which can turn into roots then strongholds.

As I found myself with many arrows hitting my heart through various circumstances all the one thing I knew how to do was to run into the presence of God. As Christians we have to know how to enter into his presence…immediately. For in his presence comes forgiveness, mercy and grace given to you, healing and the fullness of Joy! Something supernatural happens literally when you enter into the presence of God. One time the Lord showed me a picture of my heart which had many thorns and it was hurting so bad. I knew a wrong thought enter my heart so the arrow landed. In his presence Jesus had surgical goggles, an tweezers and he was ever so tenderly and gently taking out the thorns one by one. After getting up from prayer my heart still delightedly hurt but felt so much better. Its like I had heart surgery! lol So you see as  a christian we must run to the triage daily for healing and strengthen or you will no longer be an effective soldier for the Kingdom of God.

Many soldiers have become bitter, resentful, rebellious, fearful, doubtful, lukewarm because when the enemies arrows came flying in the form of offense in anyway they never ran to triage. They allowed that negative, circumstance or memory stay in there heart and spread like poison. So encourage you brother and sister when the arrows start hitting run to the heavenly triage unit…..in the presence of your Father who is waiting to heal you, restore you and strengthen you!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Psalm 16:11
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 

Unashamed of God’s Strict Love

,unashamed

 

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I’ve come to realize God has a ‘strict love” over me. You may ask what is strict love….I didn’t even know there was such a thing. However its when God has you hedged in finely. He has called me to a life of closeness with him that requires  a great measure of self control and discipline which is all done by his grace of course. However  in this ‘”strict love” many times I found myself complaining, not understanding, pouting, honestly upset wondering why I couldn’t do what others could do. The holy spirit would restrict me from going to certain places., spending my time and using my money selfishly, watching and listening to certain things that many times other Christians could do and feel no conviction. The Holy Spirit had a way of cutting my heart so quickly, convicted me, correcting me swiftly and calling me to himself immeaditley.  The Lord would remind me….you are mine and I am jealous for you.

Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God,

I remember me and my young sister used to talk about it as we would laugh and say man with the Lord we cant get away with nooooothing! lol Now looking back I see how foolish it was to despise or even resent such a beautiful grace and privilege to be called into a close intimacy with the Lord. I cant lie it hasn’t been easy, actually it has been so difficult and painful. The process of dying to yourself and the Lord taking away every attachment you have so that it may seem you have nothing but most importantly you have him. These past few months, well honestly pretty much my entire walk with the Lord has been scrutinized, criticized and judged by people. Many times close family and friends which seem to hurt the most. Every night I cast it on the Lord and ask him to heal my heart so I may love purely but then another arrow is shot and I am hurting again. The past few weeks have been more so as I began to get remarks for how I look now. I found myself deeply hurt by peoples comment towards me and insecurity and fear made a flight as they both walked through this open door I made by taking my eyes off of Jesus. Once again I found myself defending the call of God on my life or trying to have them understand the call…Gods “strict love” so often that I just stopped answering and talking about Jesus.

It happened this past weekend and when I got home I felt grieved in my spirit. It hit me, that oh my goodness, Nana you have become ashamed at what God has done and is doing in your life because of the reaction of men. So I immediately when to get a word from the Lord  from my rhema box ( a deck of cards with scripture I use to get a word from the Lord) and he gave me the scripture above Romans 5:5 and in big bold letters said SHAME. I burst into tears because I realized how I had hurt Jesus, me out of all people being ashamed of him. I didn’t realize in this way I was ashamed to tell others of God’s “strict love” in fear of what they would say or think. Rather than proclaiming to my family and friends Look what God has done in my life. He has set me free!! but I had become in bondage to them and their thoughts. So as I prayed I asked the Lord to heal my heart and wash away the lies that I held captive as truth that I would be no longer ashamed of what God has done or what he has called me too!

So the Nana of above was full of pride,  allowed self-will to rule, vain glory,  full of ambition, greed and the big hypocrite. I ran to others for opinion, advice and direction. I was in bondage to food and lust of the flesh,  compulsively whatever I felt at the moment. I would constantly show of my body and flaunt “assets’ to get attention from men. I prayed when I felt like it. Would party hard on Saturday and go to church Sunday. I lived in compromise and thought there was such a thing as a “grey area” in Christianity so was okay with other living the same way. When I didn’t pray I would pray concerning MY WILL. MY wants, MY desire, MY plans and expect him to bless it because of course my desire was Gods desire right. This Nana wanted to be a “STAR” a mogul in the making looking up to celebrities,  the entertainment life and the WORLDS height and measure to success in life. I wanted to be rich and successful to honor my family …..but this Nana was still in darkness, lost and headed to destruction……

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If it wasnt for the saving Grace, Mercy and strict love of the Lord this WOMAN wouldn’t be standing before you today. So let me proclaim UNASHAMED of what my God, Jesus Christ has done. I now cover myself in respect for him and my other brothers so no one will fall into lust . For he has called me to himself to walk in intimacy with a beautiful strict love over me so I don’t wander far off even if I wanted too. He has shown me his face and his love in ways I cant imagine and I am utterly undone by the Jealous love my beloved has for me. He has called me to a high calling of lowliness, hiddeness, holiness and holy poverty.  He has called me lay down my life to serve all man, walk in humility instead of pride. He called me to seek HIS Divine will in every decision and area of my life. He has set me from bondage of food, lust of the flesh and worldly attachments. He has me living the hidden life where many may not understand but what only HE says and does matter. He has called me to imitate his life, by living to give everything away sowing into kingdom whiles living for eternity instead. I live for the audience of the “courts of heaven”. I have finally become a STAR…in my Heavenly Fathers eyes which is the only eyes that matters the most. This Nana was pulled out of darkness into the marvelous light of Christ and is set free and being set free….I am no longer ashamed but I AM UNASHAMED!!! THANK YOU JESUS

-From Jesus with love

A Dance With My Father On This Valentines Day

dance with my father

Last night the Lord called me into prayer, well actually the pass two nights he has called me to himself. To drop everything I am doing and come into his presence to spend time with him because he needed my comfort, my worship and my love. However,  yesterday was quite different because instead of me dancing with Jesus I just felt the presence of the Father, of Abba. I imagined myself in this beautiful yellow dress, my hair was curly with a red rose in my hair.  As I began to dance in my Fathers arms, I was so overwhelmed by his gentleness, his love and more so his need for me.  God needs us, he truly does each of us are so unique in our creation from head to toe. In all the world there is not one like us therefore the is no one who can take the place of our presence, of our worship and of our love. There is a specif place in the heart of God for each of us and he misses us when we are not there.

You know in this season of my life I am coming to really cultivate and trust the person of the Abba Father. I know that sounds weird right  lol I have been waling with Jesus for 3 years now and I remember the first year just falling madly in love with Jesus asking to know him more and he has definitely answered my prayer. I am still getting to know him even now, then the second year my prayer was Holy Spirit I want to know you, trust in you learn how to relay on you as my teacher. So I came to love and trust the person of the Holy Spirit. However, it  didn’t hit me until last year when the Lord gave me the word “Child Like Trust” did I realize that I didn’t really know God the Father and I had deep father wounds of abandonment as well. Wow he opened my heart up this last year and uprooting somethings I didn’t even know were their. Then he came in and has scooped me up on his lap to just pour out his love and heart on me. As we were dancing I began to cry because he was telling me how many have him so wrong especially his daughters. Many have been heart, abandoned, rejected even abused by their physical fathers and though they may love him through his son Jesus many don’t know him or more importantly know his heart for them. He is not a Father who is critical, judging, demeaning or more importantly he is not a father who will ever forget them, neglect, abandon and reject them.

As we continued to dance Abba Father in the spirit  He put his head on my forehead and this most gentle loving way and said ” You are your Fathers Daughter” I was taking back by those words and tears began to flow. He continued on saying ” You have so much of me in you, you know that strong willed nature, you get it from me” as he touched my nose with his finger.  How many times have we had wrong labels we have received from our own Fathers, or bad characteristic people associate us with connected to our Fathers. So him saying those words were so freeing for me. I thought to myself ….you u know what WOW, I AM MY FATHERS DAUGHTER, Abba Father!

So I just want to encourage you that is how God sees you, beloved.  Look in the mirror, you see that smile, that nose, that chipped tooth, that dimple, your hair, skin color, height, the way you laugh, your strong personality, your introvert ways, your bright creativity, your logic mind, and so much more. He created you perfectly and even if your earthly Father never treated you well, or wasnt really there physically or emotionally, or spoke negative words over you. My beautiful brother/sister you are your Fathers Child, you are created in his image and he soooo desires to take you away from this mundane world into his. Which is heavenly and filled with love, a supernatural love in which you were created from.  So on this valentines day No longer pursue the love that only your Abba Father can give in men or in a women. Avail yourself to him today in worship, Abba Father is inviting you right now to dance with him. In the most exclusive Daddy and Daughter Dance will you say yes? Close your eyes and you will be surprised how God is so desperately waiting to Dance with you, his beautiful daughter today and lavish his love over you!

 

So I am having Date Night With the Lover of my soul again tonight, for our 3rd year anniversary to dance the night away with my Valentine in worship and Praise!!!

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(1st year’s Date Night 2.14.15 where it all began <3_

 

Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.[a]
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Learning To Babysit With Jesus

 

babysitter

 

      “Each Of Them Is Jesus In Disguise”- Mother Teresa

I love that quote from above because in fact that what the Lord has been teaching me as  I am babysitting my three nieces and nephews for the past few months. I found myself feeding my beautiful nieces Elly who is 8 months, and in my heart frustrated at my circumstances and honestly resenting the fact that I seem to have no time to “work on MY stuff”.  Which is alot of ministry work I do online and as this fleeting thought crossed my mind as I was feeding her the bottle as the Lord gently interrupted my thoughts to say, “Look at her, every time you feed her your feeding me. Your holding baby Jesus”. I began to recognizes how foolish I had been these past few months. I thought about how our savior came as a baby himself and I don’t know if Mary ever had someone watch Jesus who knows. lol Maybe her cousin Rachel and imagine her being frustrated because she had better things to do thank watch Jesus. Sounds so silly but all of these thoughts came to my mind at that moment and I found myself repenting before the Lord.

These few months he indeed has been revealing how impatience I am and can be easily angered by children nonetheless. What is so sad is that I loooove children…honestly I really do lol I know that is part of my ministry. I would love to help and love on orphaned kids. However, how can I show unconditional love, patience and grace to broken, abused orphaned kids and not to my own nieces (slap to the face) Lord help me lol. So when the Lord called me back to my moms house a few months ago I just didn’t understand. Then having me work a full time job to being released from that job to now babysitting full time 3 beautiful, firecracker girls everyday has been quite of an adjustment for sure. The Lord gave me this rhema when I asked why he called me back home.

                                                  “Charity begins at home
                                                                     Love
                                                Love until it hurts that is how Jesus loved”

Which has been becoming a reality ever day as the days pass on. I can get so anxious about my situation at times thinking Lord when, again, when again seems like I am always waiting. Now recognizing  I am still waiting because it seems I still have A LOT to learn and dying to self. You see a couple months ago I got a job marketing an online ministry which I was so excited about. Besides that I have this blog to write weekly, Thinking that watching my nieces is not “ministry work” so I would hurriedly get one ready for school, feed the others and anxiously rush to get to work online. I found myself being easily irritated or impatience when I would be interrupted ( now I am like Nana they are kids for goodness sakes that’s what they do best smh).

I found the Lord chastising me in my alone time with my lack of patience and my frustration concerning my circumstance rather than thanking him. He began to remind me once again, that He is right here with me and I am doing none of this alone unless I wanted too. So I should see him on the couch with me when I watch them play, changing the diapers with me, fixing their bottles with me in the kitchen, just so ever present with me through it all. Not only that but to see him in each of my nieces. That in Elly (10 month) I get to witness baby Jesus growing up before my eyes, that in my (3 year old) niece I get too see Toddler Jesus growing up and my (4 yearold) niece Zay Zay I get to take care of a paralysis Jesus. He indeed is in each of them, so as I serve by nieces I am serving Jesus! One day sometime last week he told me to leave my work and enter into child like grace by playing with the kids for an hour. Oh how refreshing it was! So I am learning even in the waiting the most important thing is not the destination, or even what you do but that you recognize that HE is with you. Furthermore he loves to be invited in your day in the most minimalist task to not only be with you but DO it all with you.  So will you invite Jesus to DO “it” with you you? Whatever that “it” maybe , why not let “it’ be EVERYTHING you do….do it with JESUS!

 

zay

(Firecracker #1 Zay Zay)

 

noms

(Firecracer #2 Naomi )

 

elly

(Firecracker #3 Elly Noel 10 months)

Matthew 25:45
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

-From Jesus with Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hope In HIS LOVE…Even In The Pit

MiryPit.main

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I found myself what looked like in a raging storm of emotions a couple of nights ago. The waves were fierce and the wind even fiercer as I found my thoughts going into a deep  deep into a dark pit. I kept telling myself Nana you have been here before don’t take your eyes of Jesus don’t take your eyes off Jesus but, it was too late. I had completely lost my peace and all I could do was cry out before him in Mercy. The enemy shot one arrow of doubt that triggered my emotions and turned into a snowball effect of me doubting if I was in Gods perfect will. This strategy is called a sucker punch, is when your doing perfectly fine going about your day and a situation, a circumstance, a word is uttered by someone or something and triggers an emotional melt down. You my friend have been sucker punched by the demons.

I began to seek God asking why frantically, is something I did and I am outside of your will? Have I missed you Lord, have I missed you? I felt like Peter was on the boat and confidently walked out to meet Jesus the minute he took his eyes on the waves he began to drown…I was drowning in my pit. Looking for answer’s all over the place because when I sat in Gods presence I got nothing. It had been a struggle for a few months to hear his voice. It was after reaching out too two dear friends of mine who put my thoughts in perspective and I began to realize…I am being tested. When the Lord is silent its because I am being tested with the storm raging all around me would I cling to his promises? With all the emotions raging in my heart I still had to go to work and counsel and encourage online with their walk in Christ. Ironic huh lol but, the Lord used one of them to encourage me. As he wrote me back saying I had helped and ministered to him greatly. He made a statement that he can now return back to Jesus because there is HOPE IN HIS LOVE and it hit me like a lightening bolt.

That was the problem I had been trying to hope in my love for Jesus for too long. If I can be honest my passion for him was dwindling and I was so weary and tired all the time. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone because I had put hope in my love towards Jesus. I began to feel discouraged because MY love felt like it was decreasing, wasnt exciting anymore but that was just it. That is how our love for God will be sometimes conditional but when we HOPE in HIS love that is unwavering, unconditional, consistent, relentless, faithful, trustworthy, passionate (all the time), and always available. So from my pit, finally I declared my weakness and reached out to receive his love. Despite my falling terribly, giving in to the tactics of the enemy, giving in to doubt and lies against his character. Jesus loved me back to life and nursed my gaping wounds so I may rest in him as he continues to fight this battle.  I finally he spoke to me in a song that kept playing in my mind ” BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”.  So I declared yes Lord I will be still in this storm and HOPE in YOUR love for me not mine.

So do you find yourself in your own pit in the beginning of this year? The pit can be your circumstances, your own thoughts, and your emotions. That have been weighing you down heavily and you seem to not have a way out. You seem to not hear Gods voice and you don’t know where to turn, Hope in HIS love. Because He loves you he will never leave you nor forsake you, He has not forgotten you and is right there in the pit with you. He had me rewrite Romans 8:38-39 as a declaration over myself and personalize, you should too because HIS word stands!

“For I am persuaded that neither losing my job, nor losing my car, nor spiritual warfare attacks of the enemy, nor moving back to my moms house, nor the criticism of family and friends can separate me from HIS love. For God has called me, qualified me and justified me. I will hope in his love knowing that he is working it all out for my good!

-From Jesus with Love