Thank You For The Fire

Screen Shot 2019-12-09 at 12.51.40 PM

 

Fire purifies

Fire refines

Fire purifies

Fire burns

Fire is hot

Fire gives off light

Fire is able to ignite everything it touches.

Fire stands out

Jesus will always be with you in the Fire

Daniel 3:25
He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of Man”

I was in adoration before the Lord a couple of days ago in worship, when he played the song “ Thank you for the Fire” by Ginny Owens and the song struck my heart so deeply. My walk with the Lord has been full of many trials however these past few months where the most fieriest trials yet however, as I found myself before him in such peace and full of hope I can actually say with my whole heart “ Thank you Lord, for the Fire”. 

As believers we repeat this common phrase often in prayer, conversations, in our worship music “ Lord set me on fire”, “Lord burn in me”, “Lord make me a living sacrafice”…..urm do we really know what that means? lol That is one of the most dangerious prayers and phrases to cry out to the Lord because he will do just that. To be set on fire for the Lord is to go through the fire to be purified, refined, crushed, pressed until all that remains is him burning within you. Many want the fire of God but, are not willing to burn in suffering and trials to obtain that purity and refinement that he uses for our good for his glory. I too cried out to the Lord so many times in worship and in prayer that I wanted to be set on fire for him, that he should burn everything in me that is not of him, that I wanted to be a living sacrafice a sweet aroma to him and he is doing just that so Lord I thank you.

Jesus said if you wish to follow me you must deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me”. The Lord has created designer crosses for each of us which come with designer fires as well or fireary trials. The crosses in our lives he speaks about are any pain, inconvenice, test, or trials from the greatest to the ones we think so insignificant are crosses we get to carry for the Lord for salvation of souls. A simon’s cross, we will all suffer in this world but when you unite your sufferig to Jesus offering all that he is permitting to him then you are denying your (self-love)  carrying your cross and following Jesus. There you will indeed find your faith and the greatest intimacy with Jesus. Some of these cross come in a form of fieary trials a death of a loved one, sickness, betrayl, being slandred with defimation of character, false accusations, demonic attack or oppression, troubled or sick child or family memember, infidelity, sudden loss of income/job, persecution, false imprisonment, injustice, sexual or emotional abuse just to name a very few. These are trials the Lord allows in many of his childrens lives to refine them to purity as they also grow in faith and much virtue.

WHEN YOU TRUST God In the fire you will find HEAT which allows all foriegn fragments and particles to rise to the surface of your heart to be cleaned. You will find what it is you really belive by your reaction and response as the Lord begans to create a Pure heart within you that responds like Christ “Father nevertheless not my will be done yours be done”. In the fire you will find THE MOUTH OF YOUR ENEMIES CLOSED. Just as Daniel found the lions mouths shut you will see the Lords hands of deliverance as you continue to trust him even in the midst of heat all around you. In the fire you will find supernatural PEACE that passes all understanding that will keep your heart and eyes fixed on him alone. There will always be FOUR PEOPLE IN THE FIRE…. You, Father, JESUS and Holy Spirit!! Just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego he too will be your sole companion in the fire the one to carry you through, protect you and deliver you. In the fire you will have great intimacy with Jesus because he is nearest to those with a brokenheart because when you suffer he suffers too. In the fire you will find THAT HE PLACED WITNESSES TO WATCH YOUR TRIAL UNFOLD TO TESTIFY OF HIS GLORY! Just as he did with Daniel even his enemies were astonished at God’s saving power and were looking for them to be burned by the fire and just as Job’s friends who came rather not to console him but, to admonish him in his trial. However, the Lord used them to witness his deliverance and restoration power in Job’s life.

Daniel 3:26-28

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

So don’t you see the Fireary trial you are going through right now is purifying your heart to be conformed to the image of Christ. It is testing your faith so that you will have unmovable confidence in the Lord. It is growing your character so that may be able to obtain the fullness of grace he has for you. It is teaching you patience so you may be fully persuaded in the Lords faithfulness. It is growing you in brothlery love and teaching you not to be moved by the opnions of men. It is strenghting your trust in the Lord so that you will rely soley on him. It is growing you in virtue and sanctifying you so that you may be blamless and spotless on that day lacking nothing. So my friends began to thank the Lord for the Fire, thank him for his immense mercy and grace towards you. Thank him for his faithfulness and amazing love he has bestowed on you to draw you so close to him in this way. Thank him for his goodness, for the amazing testimony he has already written for you that will indeed be for your good and His glory as many souls will be won upon hearing your story .

Thank him for the Fire, for the greater the Fire, the greater the refinement, the greater the faith, the greater the intimacy, the greater the testimony and the greater the LIGHT that will blaze for him for all the world to see!! 

Jesus I thank you for the FIRE!!!

-From Jesus with Love

 

Finally Tasting The Sweetness of The Hidden Life

Screen Shot 2019-11-12 at 4.03.15 PM

              Psalm 34:8 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Yesterday, was my 35th birthday and it was by far the best birthday I ever had because I had finally tasted the sweetness of the hidden life! The Lord had given me that rhema so many times this past year and the most painful times in my life. I struggled with that word and began to ask the Lord to please help me then to taste the sweetness because all I kept feeling was pain. You see too hide yourself in the Lord is one thing but, to be hidden by God is another. Many of us want to be in the public eye, want our world to surround around us, to be noticed, recognized, honored and esteemed by others. However, I now know the hidden life is where its at! Especially a hidden life in Christ where your virtues and gifts go unnoticed, people tend to think of you as insignificant and where you live a life in obscurity in the eyes of the world but, tasting the very real, sweet and physical presence and love of our Lord.  I was reading one of the holy books where it mentioned that “Jesus loved his life of obscurity more than he did his public life where he was known for the sign and wonders he performed”.

We live in a generation that despises obscurity and has such a compulsion to share everything. With social media everything becomes news, publicity, instant, such a strong desire to show others what is going on in our lives and we become self centered then God centered even as christians. Especially, if you are called to ministry there is such a tendency to want to expose yourself, promote yourself and your ministry. Rather, than allowing the Lord to keep you tucked away, hidden, in that dark room where he can process you, train you, teach you, grow you, stretch you and build you up. We can despise that hidden place the Lord calls us too because there you have no praise, no respect, no honor from men but, we have it from the Lord. Only if we would realize and desire that would be enough, only then can you tase the sweetness of the hidden life.

I struggled with that for a long while when the Lord called me to lay everything down to follow him. Every year he would continuously tell me to wait..wait…wait… and wait some more. I didn’t understand what it is I was waiting for as I began to take my eyes off of Him and look to others in comparison who seemed to be doing wonderful things for the Lord. It seemed he would continue to sit me on the shelf and push me back further and further. I now realize he was drawing me deeper and deeper to himself! Away from any creature that my affection will solely before him alone. Oh, how I have prayed that and desired that with my whole heart and this year he has cleaned the throne room of my heart where all that sits is him! Every birthday I would make it a big deal, throw big parties, have photoshoots, worship nights, dinners however, this year felt different. After going through one of the most toughest trials in my walk as I answered the call to a religious life as a Franciscan sister. Which cost me almost all my relationships, friendships, comforts and titles. I found myself truly now hidden in Christ and stripped of everything besides the lover of my soul. I found myself so full of peace, joy, contentment, hope and such great love words can’t even explain. The pain of having everything and everyone removed from me was so worth now having Jesus alone in the throne room of my heart and the center of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!!!

I had told him that I wanted to offer my birthday for those souls who were forgotten, rejected, abandoned, and felt so unloved. That all the consolations, gifts and graces he would give me for my birthday would be given to those souls instead . I prayed that he would make those in my community forget my birthday and I wouldn’t tell anyone as well. I deactivated my facebook so no one could reach out or would remember because I wanted to be forgotten and take on the cross of those who are forgotten.  I wanted my celebration to between me and Jesus hidden in his heart. What do you know, the Lord answers my prayer! lol.  I woke up that morning with a praise song on my heart as rushed into the pasture to our Blessed Mothers Praying tree to worship with the Lord and all the saints. I had the most amazing time ever!!! I found myself before the physical presence of Jesus as a priest I had my monstrance before me ( which is an open or transparent receptacle in which the consecrated Host is exposed for veneration)
 on some crates as I danced and worshiped all morning long with Jesus, the saints and the angels. I always have a playlist and ask holy spirit to pick the songs and he even played a birthday song which was so awesome letting me know how present he truly was. There were many times I broke down in tears, sobbing at God’s faithfulness in my life and his immense mercy towards me. That he had answered the cry of my heart all those nights, trials, battles, I would get on my knees asking him that I wanted more of him, that I wanted him to be my sole desire, that I wanted  to know his heart and be one with him, that I wanted to be filled with his spirit…. he has answered. As I was on my knees before His physical presence he had indeed given me himself fully, body, soul and divinity to me. That He had now come become my sole desire and affection after stripping me of everyone and everything all I had was him. In obsucrity, on my birthday, on my knees, with no one else around before Blessed Mothers sacred praying tree in the wilderness. I had finally found and tasted the sweetens of the hidden life!

So my dear friend, don’t despise humble beginning, don’t despise that hidden place the Lord has you in or is calling you into. A life out of the public eye in the wilderness in a retreat to the closest heart that matters. That of your Lord and Savior in complete obscurity to those in the world but, very visible, known and lavishly loved by the lover of your soul Jesus. There in lies true happiness, true joy, true peace, true purpose, true contentment and true sweetness!

 

 

“The hidden life seems gloomy to you because you have never tasted it’s sweetness”

-Jesus
(rhema word)

-From Jesus With Love

NOTHING Will Stop Me From Doing The Will Of God

rhemas.php

SNEER a contemptuous or mocking smile, remark, or tone.

PERSECUTION: hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs

THREATS: a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

SUFFERING: The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship

HUNGER:a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

COLD: of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

FLATTERY: excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

ENTREATY: an earnest or humble request.
FRIENDSHIPS: a relationship between friends.

 

I received this rhema from the Lord months ago and now how I know so well why he gave it to me. In these past few months I have experienced all the above with such intensity to detour and derail me from what the will of God is for my life but by his grace Nothing has stopped me. This walk with Jesus has been a lonely, narrow and many times painful road. Yet, every time I have been met with resistance the Lord continues to give me the grace to not only preserver, endure but to say “yes’ to him. He did say …

Matthew 7:14
How NARROW is the gate and DIFFICULT the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Oh how we can forget that so easily in a generation and culture where especially in the western world following Jesus doesn’t seem to cost much because the Gospel has become comfortable, self-seeking, world and people pleasing, prosperity driven Gospel. Which is so far removed from what Jesus said Luke 14:25-27 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said:  “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  What we have been really taught is not to follow Christ but, to follow our denominational traditions, fundamentalist beliefs, and even follow after popular ministers. However, Jesus made it very clear to count the cost to be his disciple you must not love family, even your own life to follow me. I would say that is the biggest attachment and impediment to anyone who wants to live a religious life for the Lord. The apostles all had professions, some had wives and children but, immeaditly they heard the voice of the Messiah, Jesus Christ calling them. They stopped and left immeaditly to follow him. I can imagine the suffering they went thru and endured for the sake of loving the Lord more than they loved their lives.

The Lord has a known will which is given through is word. Instructions for any believer to live their lives according to his standard and commandments. Furthermore, the Lord has a “unique” will for every soul upon this earth. Its is our job through pursing intimacy with Jesus that he reveals or better yet leads us into his perfect will for our lives. My Journey to becoming a Franciscan sister has been full of opposition and even since answering the call to leave my family, friends, church and follow Jesus to New Mexico (His Will).  I had faced sneers from loved ones the day before I was to leave for New Mexico they had an intervention at my going away gathering. Where  they invited a pastor without my knowing as they prayed over me for deliverance because they felt I was deiceved I still continued to follow (His Will). I have faced much persecution when I began to share my beliefs on social media concerning the communion of saints and our wonderful Blessed Mother. As many people criticized me on all fronts both publicy and privately I still continued to follow (His Will). I faced a warning from my church by posting the Rosary Prayer and prophetic messages from Jesus to warn his brides to pray for our President because it didn’t fit with the beliefs of the Church so was given an ultimatum to remove my post or step down form leadership. I still continued to follow (His Will) and stepped down.  I was faced with entreaties from my loved ones to please honor my mothers wishes, my family name and come back home because this wasn’t what they had planned for MY life…I still continued to follow (His Will).  When I finally arrived in New Mexico and found myself facing very cold nights on the mountain, sleeping in a tent, and having to a Lords supper at night in the cold. I could’ve, just went to bed early or even called it quits because of the the weather and living conditions but…I still continues to follow (His Will). I faced many demonic attacks in dreams, sleep paralysis, demonic oppression…I still continue to follow (His Will). I  have faced much suffering and I know I will continue too in this walk with the Lord as he is giving me the grace to count it all joy!

I feel the most painful and sure way the enemy will use to detour many from the Lords will is FRIENDSHIPS through men’s opinion and the fear of men. Jobs friends came in the guise to console him when he lost everything but rather all turned too criticize him harshly instead in his darkest moment. Even the Lord was tempted by Satan through his closest friends and disciple, Peter to stop him from carrying The Cross, that would bring redemption to all mankind.  Matthew 16: 22-23 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Jesus was abandoned and betrayed by the closest ones to him when he needed them the most…following the will of His Father. So how then can we think we will be greater than the master? I too lost all my friends and relationships. The closest ones too me have indeed criticized my walk, many have said the same things Peter said as I made my decision to pick up MY cross and follow the Lord to New Mexico “Nana, Far be it that you are hearing from Jesus, Far be it to dishonor your Parents, Far be it that you should move to New Mexico and leave everything behind, Far be it that Jesus wants us to suffer, Far be it that you are called to a life of Poverty, Far be it to be to pray to the saints or Blessed Mother, Far be it that you should follow Jesus in this way …but, they too were not mindful of the ways of God. You see, I must remember that its not them. Many have pure intentions and motives but, it is indeed Satan working through all to stop me…to stop you from doing the will of God. You must not be attached to anyone or anything to follow Jesus, not moved by mans options or even the hatred of hell. For truly when something is the will of God all Hell will come against it…literally.

My brethren it will COST YOU EVERYTHING to follow Jesus and the call of God upon your life. If you have no resistance or oppression then you might want to discern again if your going in the right direction. We are called to follow that same thorny, painful road Jesus took to calvary, yes he finished it on the cross but, he calls us to now pick up our cross and follow him down that same narrow road too die to ourselves that He may live. Which is filled with much tribulation but, so much more consolation, freedom, joy, peace that passes understanding, contentment and deep intimacy you couldn’t imagine!! I wouldn’t trade my cross nor do I regret anything the Lord has allowed in my walk. For it has strengthen me, humbled me, grown me, strecthed me, and drawn me into such a deep intimacy place with Jesus. For the greater the suffering, the greater the intimacy. So my friend, what is stopping you from saying “yes” to Jesus from doing the will of God? Set your face like flint, put your hand to the plough and don’t look back. Trust him he is so Freaking FAITHFUL!!

Luke 5:10-11
Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.    ”Leave everything and follow me”

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

Gave Up My Life To Jesus

It is only the Lord who could’ve done this and continues to write this amazing story as I am no longer a bystander but I stand back in awe as His story through me continues to unfold before my eyes. As he led me to leave the world and follow him to NM. He has given me the desire of my heart. HIMSELF!! To officially become his Bride in a deeper walk of faith and commitment as I took my relgious vows and professed my vocation as a Franciscan Sister, Third Order. ( I will do a video about that later on what that entails) I am so humbled to share this journey and wedding ceremony with you all. In worship 2 days ago the Lord played a song from Lecrea ” Tell the World” and the lyrics say ” Ima tell the world ,tell the world I am brand new” So I am! lol A. LOL As Fransician sister my life will be living out the gospel, in intimacy with Jesus and holy life with him. As I have taken life vows of poverty, obedience, chasity (faithfulness to God), substantial prayer, substantial solitude. I pray this will be an invitation for many as I know there will be many more who will come after me. For this narrow road is available to anyone desiring to walk in holiness, truly die to themselves, completely to their past, their flesh and be completely crucified with Christ. To become a new creation in Christ and that is what I have become. The former things have passed away and behold the new has come. No longer Nana but now Mother Mary Elisha given to me by the Lord (mother of souls.) I am so humbled and eternally grateful to the Lord and his tender mercies and graces that got me here. All glory to Him!!. This is Part 1 and will be posting Part 2 tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers God bless and love you guys!

-From Jesus With Love

 

Heroic Humility

Screen Shot 2019-10-06 at 4.49.29 PM

2 Samuel 16:5-13

As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you murderer, you scoundrel! The Lord has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The Lord has given the kingdom into the hands of your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a murderer!”

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.”

10 But the king said, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, my own flesh and blood, is trying to kill me. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.

What is Heroic Humility?  I am finding that out in this season which has been riddled with much criticism and assaults, I can either take offense or see it as an opportunity that the Lord is using to humble me. However, I am learning from a little saint called St. Therese of Lisieux how to go about that.  Heroic Humility is the desire to be humiliated and to receive all insults, criticism, curses and judgments with JOY knowing that it is the Lord permitting it! Now, can I say that has been a feat lol. During my prayer time I sought the Lord to get a daily word from him last week and twice the Holy Spirit gave me “heroic humility’ in her devotional as its stated

HEROIC HUMILITY (devotional)

“The novices [too whom she gave spiritual direction] praise me. It is not flattery. They believe what they say. It does not make me vain for the knowledge of my wretchedness never leaves me. But sometimes my soul sickens of too sweet a diet. It is then that Jesus gives me a nice little salad dressing of vinegar and spice sans Olive oil. God raises the veil which hides may imperfections, and my dear little sisters then no longer find me quite  their liking. With a simplicity I find charming, they tell me what a trial I am to them and what they find unpleasant about me. They stand on no ceremony, for they know that their freedom of speak delights me. It is actually more than delight. It is like a wonderful festival which overwhelms me with joy. If had not experienced it, could not believe that something so against one natural feelings could afford such happiness. Once when I was passionately longing to be humiliated, a young postulate did it so effectively that I remember when Shimei used David and I read the words of the holy king; “Yea, it is the Lord who hath bidden him say all these things”

-St Therese of Lisieux

Since, moving here to this prayer community the Lord has a lot many insults to be hurdled my way wether it be online, through family members or even members of this community. We are all definitely not perfect and are learning the way of perfection through brotherly love as we are climbing that mountain of holiness. Many we times we can step on each others toes but its all about our response to one another. In the world we are taught to defend ourselves, to respond back with sharp words and to let others know when they offend us but when the Lord is leading you into a way of “heroic humility” his desire that you “submit to everyone and allow others to trample on you” that is true humility. Just as Jesus was the perfect example for us all who turned the other cheek, and led like a sheep to the slaughter with defamation of character, physical blows, insults, betrayals, curses, being spit on, was cheated, accused, and gossiped about. You name it he endured it all in perfect silence and yielded to the Fathers will.

We live in a christian culture that actually contradicts this way of the Gospel many times where we are taught to distance ourselves from those who hurt us but pray for them. Rather Jesus has chastised me to ” Not take offense or repeat offense”. He has made me to understand that when I take an offense against my brethren I am indeed offended by him for he permits every trial, every circumstance and every word someone speaks or does against me. We forget and really don’t have confidence in the Lords divine providence. That he is is in control of EVERYTHING and allows EVERYTHING even the bad. So its a grave offense in his eyes when we  get offended at one another and worse repeat it thereby spreading seeds of discord among brethren because the person you share that offense with now has a seed of criticism planted in their heart against the person who offended you. Its opens the demonic door for everyone and leads to much gossip, resentment and eventually bitterness taking root in the heart of everyone.

 

The Lord is calling us to humble ourselves to see ourselves in his mirror for who we truly are. Wretched sinners, full of judgment and evil thoughts ourselves which we may not say out loud but in our hearts, who are in need of his desperate grace and mercy. Pride(Self-love, the flesh) is what causes us to rise up to defend, to correct, to get angry and take offense which will always contend with the virtue the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us Humility.  I believe the Lord is wanting to raise up many of his brides to walk in heroic humility. Brides who don’t desire the praise of men but are actually looking forward to the insults and criticism of others with joy because  BLESSED ARE YOU!

Matthew 5:11-12
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Furthermore, how blessed are you if people insult you justly or so all manner of things against you that may be right but in humility you receive it all in silence from the hand of of the Lord as King David did. Oh Lord, give us the grace to have heroic humility, to allow ourselves to be made fools for Christ and to even desire to be humbled by you when life gets too sweet and many are singing the praises of our name. Give us the desire to be humbled and even a greater grace to not take offense or repeat offense. We ask this in Jesus name we pray Amen!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus Is Calling To His Brides “Will You Stay With Me”?

Jesus reaching out

Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,and bring her into the wilderness,and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,

as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’

Many of us don’t realize the Lord still suffers tremendously because of indifference, lost souls, suffering souls and his unfaithful brides. Yes, God still suffers because there is suffering in the world however he looks for his brides for comfort on the cross but many times finds himself left alone as he was during his crucifixion. Forsaken by all besides his disciple John and his Mother, Blessed Mary.

Being here in this prayer community I have had the opportunity to experience the Lord in the most profound way as I have never had before. Father Ezekiel who is our Bishop many times experiences stigmata which is (in Christian tradition) marks corresponding to those left on Jesus’ body by the Crucifixion, said to have been impressed by divine favor on the bodies of St. Francis of Assisi and others). However, he experiences spiritual stigmata where the Lord takes him through the passion in pain. I found myself sitting at his bed side through one of the episodes and many times the Lord won’t tell him who he is suffering for but this time he did. The Lord referenced it was “his unfaithful bride” and that he was looking to be consoled.  As the Lord kept telling his unfaithful bride “what about the children, if not for me then what about the children?” Oh, how those words cut my heart to pieces. The Lord was speaking about the spiritual children him and his bride birth or can birth together if she would surrender herself to only him. However, the world and the summer season have taken his brides attention away from being with him. As I began to pray I found myself in a vision of “the passion”.

“I saw Jesus carrying the cross and the jeering crowd hurling insults and throwing rocks at him. What touched me the most is that I first saw Jesus with his “bride” in a room as he was crying out to her, please don’t leave me if not for me then for the children. This “bride” was so indifferent and utterly annoyed at his request as she stood oppositite of him with her arms folded. Completely rejecting him then stomping out the door leaving him in tears. Then the scene went back to the passion as he was carrying his cross with blood, tears and sweat running down his cheeks, so sad, lonely and utterly downcast. I saw our Lady, Blessed Mother there walking silently along with her son in the crowd her heart broken too. Then I saw his “bride” very close to the road to Del A rosa but she was in the homes of other man. Being with them, spending time with them and one man said “isn’t that your husband being crucified don’t you want to be with him”. Yet, the bride responded with such repugnance and disdain to him as she continued to carry on with her other “lovers (the world).  Then I saw other brides who were in the marketplace in Jerusalem buying and selling things as the people would say “isn’t that your husband being crucified” and she too would respond with compelte indifference with no care or love at all for Jesus as she continued…business as usual. Then finally we got to the top of calvary as they had erected Jesus on the crucifix. Then other bride came this time to mock at him, curse him tell him suffering was a disgrace, she was so ungrateful and utter despised the cross. Jesus, heart was being ripped to shreds at her words, His wife, His bride, the Lover of his heart had not only rejected him but betrayed and mocked him just like the crowd. He was in tears and so was Blessed Mother as she stood facing him, her heart broken as well to think she had entrusted Her heart, her son, into the arms of a women she though would love him  and care for him as his wife. 

Then the vision ended…I was in tears as I cried. Remembering I too used to be that unfaithful wife. Lord if we only knew how much you still need us, need our company, our lives, our love and our surrender fully as brides of Christ so I went to console him. A few days later I began to pray the rosary, the 7 sorrowful mysteries to be exact which trace 7 aspects of Mary’s life with Jesus where the sword as Simeon prophecies had perfected her heart

Luke 2:35
so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

 

So as I continued to pray I envision myself in every scene  of Blessed Mothers life with Jesus and focused on being with him there. I got to the sixth sorrowful mystery where Jesus was taken down from the cross and I was yet again in front of his passion. I saw Jesus, now dead completely uncovered, beaten, flesh torn and ripped with much much blood as I looked at him with such sorrow. To the left I saw Our Lady, Blessed Mother who was the one his body was given too. However, she looked at me with tenderness as she was in an all black veil and beckoned for me to come. She backed away and motioned for the Lords body to be given to me instead. I was amazed as i walked up close to the cross and the soldiers began to lower his body I realized I was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress as the rested Jesus in my arms. All I could feel was such deep sorrow as I looked at his mutilated body and immediately took off my veil to cover his nakedness and wrapped it around him. Then I laid him gently down as I began to rip pieces of my wedding dress skirt to wrap the gaping wounds of his feet, his legs, and head with the crown of thorns removed. All I could do was kiss, my Jesus and tell him how sorry I was for what I did. Then the next scene I saw myself now in the tomb. Our Lady Blessed Mother was there and had just finished wrapping him in swaddling clothes for his burial. She looked up at me beckoned me to come once me and sit with him. So I did this time as she smiled gentle at me and as she walked away she said “Stay with him”. So I did, for a while just looking at his lifeless body and kissing his hands. Then I came out of the vision.

I never knew I could experience the Lord in such a real, personal and passionate way not only through these prayers but through his passion. Our God still suffers, each soul is his bride and we must ask ourselves where we fit in. Which bride our we to the Lord. The one with many lovers, (money, man, the world etc), the bride who is to busy ( with family, holidays, career etc) or the bride who despises the cross (who is always complaining, hates to suffer, doesn’t carry their cross etc). Which bride are you? The Lord is calling to his “unfaithful brides not only come back to me but stay with me”. The Lord gets so much consolation from our companionship, our love, our presence. Yes! Jesus if fully God but he is also Man still…and just like any man he has needs, the needs of those he loves and those who say they love him. Please there is so much suffering going on in this world and Jesus is hurting. He calling out to his brides….he is calling out to you beloved. Will you stay with him? Be with him in worship, Be with him in prayer stay with him.

-From Jesus with Love

Star Gazing With Jesus

Screen Shot 2019-08-14 at 9.19.52 PM

It was another night in Taos, New Mexico now going to sleep at a new location, in a new bed, at a new place. The adjustment hasn’t been easy to say the least but, the Lord has been so merciful and gracious. Upon arriving I stopped hearing him like I usually would and also in fear of being deceived like I had been previously in my former blog post https://myheartoverflowing.com/2019/05/30/how-the-lord-delivered-me-from-a-religious-spirit-because-of-delayed-obedience/ .I had a great fall and was working my way back slowly to trusting again to hear from the Lord. The Lord was so sweet as I got here after my prayers I was thinking in my heart Lord will you restore our relationship again.  I heard in my heart “pull a rhema card”. These were the infamous rhemas Mother lare had talked about on her channel and had caused me to began my own rhema box. Which her just simply prophetic words from the Lord on index cards about 1,000 of them. So I did as the Holy spirit instructed and pulled a card and it said ” I will restore our relationship and the graces that were lost” I was like wow! If he doesn’t read your mail using those rhemas man. It encouraged me greatly.

 

However, as the days went on I found myself struggling with so much emotional torment of loneliness and hopelessness. Now away from my loved ones and having losing everyone to come here I wasn’t on the mountain yet but staying with Mother Clare and Father Ezekiel in their home. As we were in preparation in getting the Holy Prayer Mountain ready to make it livable for all who came. I was the first to arrive among everyone so I found my nights long and many times prayers drowned in tears asking the Lord for strength admits the assailment of the enemies lies and doubts that stormed my mind at times. It was even more difficult sensing the Lord but not really hearing from him so many times I found myself just going thru the emotions. Then one night after prayer I decided to get another rhema using the website link instead https://www.heartdwellers.org/rhema-page.html then it said

” Take a walk with me”

I usually love this rhema because I loooove talking a walk with Jesus its like an adventure every time I listened to this prompting when I received it. However, I was at a new place and it was 10:31pm at night…dark. Now, that still didn’t surprise me because when I was at my home in Texas there were times I got this rhema at 11pm at night once and it was cold, plus I didn’t have my glasses on. However, I obeyed and thought Lord what are you up too, he had me walk around with him didn’t say anything but I felt prompted to pray for my neighborhood. This time around however, having been deceived recently of a lying spirit I went to a “bible promises book” for discernment. I thought to ask Mother Clare or Father Ezekiel if it was okay to go outside but I thought let me ask holy spirit if this was the Lord and he gave me scriptures under the subject of “Marriage” . When I get that the Lord is addressing my spousal relationship with him as his bride so I knew it was the Lord but I was still a little hesitant.

You see at there house they have a pasture with a low loose wire fence that stops at the end of their back. Then you can easily cross over into the pasture there was a specific tree I was always pulled to when I felt down or to go and pray. So I felt the Lord was telling me to go to the tree and it was utterly dark, no lights at all. So I thought to myself “whew” okay Nana be brave. I just had the Lords supper so I had a monstrance with the Lord body inside and my phone as a flash light. I then began to put my shoes on and courageous slide the doors to the sun room and walked into the backyard which over looked the ever so dark vast pasture over looking the mountains. I crossed over the fence and mentioned for my guardian angel to escort me as well as I began to walk in this vast dark field repeatedly saying “Jesus I trust in you, Jesus I trust in you Jesus I trust in you”. Just then I arrived at the tree. Thinking to myself okay Jesus I am here what did you bring me out here for???….and all I heard was silence.

Then I felt prompted to look up and I was in UTTER AWE!! The Taos night sky was filled with a billion stars and a crisp beautiful clear sky filled with a billion shinning stars. My mouth dropped wide open in amazement at the beauty then at the love of God. I was flabbergasted that Jesus would have me in mind first off then not only that get me up in the middle of the night just to stargaze with him waaaa!! Yes our God does stuff like that he is so freaking romantic!! lol I said “hush Jesus hush” really you would have me come out here just to look at the stars with you…your so romantic and sweet Lord! I stood there just staring at the vastness of Gods glory and the beauty of his workmanship.

I then began to remember the scriptures which came to my mind when the Lord spoke to Abraham

Genesis 15:5

He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars–if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

I felt the Lord reminding me that promise was for me too as I had come to this place in obedience following him and another scripture came to my mind that “he knows the stars by name, that HE knew me by name before the foundation of the earth.

Psalm 147:7
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Just then my phone came across my hands and I didn’t realize how bright the flashlight was on my phone until the shadow of my hand covered entire trees. Something similar to the picture below but not quite lol

 

 

 

As I ran my what seemed to be now my GOD SIZED hand across the vast pasture, upon each tree then on mountain then the sky. As they all seemed to fit in the palm of my now GOD SIZED HAND. I began to feel the Lord speak to my heart as he reminded me that all of creation was in the palm of his hand.  The trees where in the palm of his hands, the mountain where in the palm of his hands and I too am in the palm of his hands. That I had absolutely nothing to worry that he indeed was with him and holding me thru this all. I was amazed and in all at the Lords mercy towards me and his loving kindness that continued to uphold me. I walked back with him after a few minutes of  star gazing with  my beloved, admiring his creation and how He just wanted to be with me to stargaze. So next time you take a walk be reminded he is right there next to you and take some time to smell the roses literally, or for a fluttering butterfly or a heart shaped cloud and look up in the night sky as you watch the starts go by with your beloved Jesus. Knowing that you he knows your name and He has YOU in the palm of your hands!

-From Jesus With Love

 

 

 

To The Mountains We Go: Sacred Heart Refuge

 

IMG_0024001

 

“This is going to be an international community that will come and go and stay small and intimate. They come to catch the Fire, then return to their own countries with Me to light a fire in their homeland”
– Jesus
(Still Small Voice: Messages An International Community)

I have been gone for a bit , okay a long while lol Due to a new change in direction for me. After waiting and waiting for so long the Lord has directed my feet to Taos, New Mexico to be apart of a praying community. This was truly a suprise to me when the Lord called me and wanted me to leave immeaditley. You see I now look back and recognizing he had been forming me a while for this. My walk with him began to get a lot more narrower with him during the end of March going into lent. Where I noticed he began to pull me away from public ministry and even stop me doing the outreaches I do once a month. At first I contended …as I always do then I began to yield still not understanding why or what he was doing. Then during lent he really began to have me pull away from the world altogether and not allowing me to go out even to ministry events but to only stay at his feet in prayer day and night. So after about a month an a half of this I began to get “cabin fever” I realized okay Lord your sanctifying me for sure in preparation for this next season.  Which I had my own plans about but I am learning to stop having expectations and plans with Jesus it never works out, you think I would’ve learned by now lol but nope so this all came at a surprise.

When in the beginning of May on Still Small Voice Channel, which is a ministry I am apart of and the ministry that has helped me to grow in intimacy with the Lord and even began this blog the Lord began to call out to those he had “chosen” to come to a refuge on a mountain. To leave the world and live a life of solitude and prayer with him for a time. Now upon me seeing the title I was immeaditly and utterly repulsed and I am being serious! I had been in doors for so long I was ready to get out! I was ready for the Lord to give me the green light or show me what he was preparing me for and I was sure it was going to be so exciting not deeper place into more prayer and solitude lol. I know I sound so terrible for being honest but I must be to show the grace and mercy of God. I found myself again feeling the calling strongly and recognizing that is what he was molding me for but I didn’t want it all. Has anyone struggled with surrender like me?

In the prophetic message he had made it clear that we were previlaged for this and many of us he was calling higher to a life of prayer and deeper intimacy with him. That it would be a place where we grow in discernment, in hearing his voice more clear and walking in gifts like healing and spiritual wisdom. I had got ordained a few months prior but, I hadn’t really told anyone about it. However, when I felt this call from the Lord I reached out to Mother Clare  who is my spiritual director and the head of the still small voice ministry she too confirmed that the Lord was calling me there after telling her some of the rhemas I had received. She then told me to seek the Lord and I got

Luke 5:11
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.

My card was a little revised and said ” Don’t Fear leave everything and follow me…from now you will catch men”

 

I was floored and struggled with this for 2 days crying because I didn’t realize how attached I was to my family, ministry and to be honest the world. Was I really ready to leave the world behind and plus Jesus didn’t tell me about this! lol I had plans you know not only for my life but I thought for the rest of the year but when you are walking with Jesus you must follow wherever he leads when he leads. So after about two weeks of rebellion and oppression I finally committed to leaving. The Lord had told me earlier before lent starting that he was going to began speaking to me everyday which he did and he said “everything will come against the words I am speaking to you…everything” and in deed EVERYTHING CAME AGAINST THIS CALL.

The Lord being so faithful he had already gone ahead of me, you see in the beginning of the year he surprised me by having one of my youtube follower reach out to me and bless me with a buddy pass for a whole year. She works with united airlines and felt the Lord putting me on her heart to travel anywhere in the world for FREE!! I couldn’t believe and I told the Lord ” I guess were traveling this year!” . Once again I had my own plans of where I wanted to go and when but as you know the Lord had HIS own plans for me. So when I finally made up my mind I knew the Lord wanting me to immeadilty, to obey immediately as the discipled did. I now see in his great mercy that was a second chance to the call of God. He could’ve have left me back in Texas when I resisted for those two weeks but he was so ever patient and waited. So I gave my family about a 2 day notice and told them  I was not finally leaving to follow Jesus to New Mexico. I took one bag because he had told me too “take nothing with you for the journey”

 

Luke 9:3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey–no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.

Its amazing how scripture comes to life when you are following Jesus and I he had already a ticket provided so I traveled for $0.00. AMAZING! However, Everything I mean EVERYTHING came against this call. My entire family, all my “good christian friends”, Pastors you name it. I was getting calls all over the day I was leaving and text message to not go, its dangerous, tremendous slander against the ministry all of hell used the closest people to me to detour me from coming. However, walking with Jesus I know when immense opposition comes against a direction of God it further validates for me that is right where I need to be. There was only one person on my side, with Jesus and all of heaven.

Once I finally touched down in the airport across the security lines I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and I knew Hell had lost again another battle “for nothing can oppose the will of God”.  I had the most amazing encounters with people at the airport and would love for you all to be praying for the salvation “Wayne- a new ager looking for truth and Kathy-homosexual lady looking for truth. They were wonderful souls and divinely appointed by the Lord. Upon arriving in Taos, New Mexico it was breath taking seeing the beautiful mountain and it was more beautiful when I was finally able to go and stay on the mountain as we build the community.

The Lord had given this vision to Mother Clare 20 years ago that she would be taking a group of young people with a torch then seeing them on fire thru the woods. This prayer mountain has been anointed by Saint Elijah the prophet himself to be consecrated Holy ground and a place for refuge for the remnant as well once the tribulation starts. The Holy Prayer mountain will be available for visitors next year to come and have retreats by groups/churches or personal time of solitude for anyone who wants to draw closer to Jesus and indeed of spiritual council. For those who are called there now we will have our very own hermitages in the mountain separate from one another to be alone with the Lord. It is quite amazing up there, so peaceful the air so clean and truly a place of respite. So to the mountain I go with me and Jesus walking on this crazy adventure called “Life” as He writes His story within me for his glory!

Below I have a link to some video footage I have done on my youtube channel and a prophet message from the Lord about that place. Please visit our website https://www.heartdwellers.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWgh6peBRXA&t=7s

 

How The Lord Delivered Me From A “Religious Spirit” Because of Delayed Obedience


Related image

                        “OBEDIENCE IS YOUR PROTECTION”
-Jesus

 

If I can be very honest, I had a sense of fear and shame over take me for moments in wanting to share this testimony and writing this blog. My walk compared to other counterparts have always lets just say different lol. Many things have been said, about my walk as the Lord would always encourage me to press in and not to worry. So I always relied on him being the last word despite the scorn and contempt I faced. So when I found out that I had been oppressed by this spirit as others have thought in the past shame wanted to over take me not to share but I remembered this testimony is for the glory of God! Not only that the heaviness I endured I would never want anyone to go through that.  Through this fiery trial I  have learned a valuable lesson in obedience as children we have heard one way or the other by our parents “delayed obedience is disobedience”. Man isn’t that the truth and I have come to understand the fear of the Lord. So the lord delivered me so that this may bring deliverance to someone else! SO I SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOP THAT WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED!

During Lent this is the first time I have observed it seriously. It was a wonderful time of me doing the Lords Supper day and night with the Lord.  However, difficult as the Lord began to really do a work in my heart bringing hidden sins to the light as he was desiring to purify my heart. I had been ordained by this ministry a few month back and I began to notice the Lord was truly stripping me more and more of things of the world. He eventually began to lead me in putting a lot of ministry work and stay at his feet instead. I would come before him every morning to hear from him as he desired for me to journal our conversations and his instructions for the day. Then he called us to fasting and intercession for our nation offering whatever sacrifices we desired with our prayers. So one of the sacrifices he asked of me was my showers (okay now back story before your thinking waaa). In order to take a shower I would have too go to  friends house and I felt he wanted me to offer this too him as cross to bare for a day or two so gladly I obliged. Then in our of our conversations he desired that he wanted to teach me about obedience and discernment.  Then later on I found out the Lord was calling me to a vocation of prayer and solitude for  season at a prayer community which I struggled with so it was making sense. These things he was asking me to deny because he was slowly pulling me out of the world and into  lifestyle of prayer/solitude. This community is in the mountains and many times there may be moments we have take bucket baths so I found out about all this after the fact therefore confirming why the Lord was asking of these things.

So there are many things I use for discernment one of the things the Lord has taught me to use was a book called the “Bible promises” its all scriptures with different titles and he Lord would lead me from there. Each title meant something for me as the Holy Spirit wanted me to seek him in my decisions throughout the day so I would know his will. At first it was amazing, he really directed me through each scriptures when I would be doing ministry work online, even helped to discern what was going on spiritually with others when I would answer questions.  However, about two weeks ago a “false Jesus” slipped in and I found myself feeling so condemned many times with being called repentance, and my sins always before me and being called to a very very strict “Obedience”. I found myself becoming jealous of others and their walk with the Lord because they seemed to have so much freedom but it seems the Lord demanded so much from me. Now I reconciled this was the Lord at first because as I mentioned my walk had somewhat been that way with him. There were many things that others could do but Jesus would always ask me gently to deny and I did so out of love for him willingly. However, this time around I began to fear then love him or this strict compliance with denying myself. I found myself not feeling the freedom to go outside to take a walk, answer my phone, doing work online because as I would seek him with the scriptures he would give me “lust” and “obedience”.  It seems my sweet gentle Jesus seemed so far from me. Everywhere I reached in the span of the two weeks when this began I found when I opened the bible judgment, patiently endure, and to offer this affliction as a cross.  I was finding no relief from this anguish.  I am apart of this intercessory group but I see now out of pride and fear I didn’t open up to tell anyone because to be honest I think I didn’t want to be wrong about this. I kept thinking I am seeking you everyday you wouldn’t steer me wrong right?

Luke 11:28
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

 

There were two points of breakthrough as I began to wake up I found myself drained, full of anxiety, fearful in ever decision and just waking up to go to sleep. I no longer enjoyed the Lords supper because I would feel worse about myself when I would leave his presence. Everything began to be a source of condemnation even worship, I would hear songs and the lyrics would began to make me wonder if I was in his will at that moment. My head felt so tight, I had such heaviness on my back, my mind was confused and I was weary. Then I felt I was asked again to fast  which I began to do however when I asked to be released from these sacrifices, like taking a shower and eating as I sought him using the scriptures in my Bible promise I would get “Lust”. I was utterly despondent but, I wanted to be obedient so I obliged but so unhappily. My family and friends something was up at this point and I find out now many had been praying for me through this. So I lied in my bed as a song began to play by “Grace Williams your anointing”.  I kept thinking as the songs began to play ” Break those chains of bondage those heavy chains…you are free, you are free. stretch out your hands receive your freedom right now”. As I did that I felt like liquid being poured on my head and the release from my head.  I than sought the Lord if I could eat at this point and I got scriptures on “Gods love”” so I knew that was  yes! I rushed to go eat thinking wait what am I in bondage too could this be  lying spirit…no it couldn’t?! (pride again)  I then sought the Lord again and he gave me this word in one of my rhemas and said ” Ask for the grace of discerning of spirits as the scriptures says you cannot trust every spirit”. I was dumbfounded I couldn’t believe that I could be deceived this way. Oh how humbling it was at this point I hadn’t reached out to any of my members of my intercessor group as to what what’s going on so immediately I did.

As I opened up telling me superior everything and what I was hearing as she confirmed those things seemed extreme and maybe the Lord was telling me to come right away to this prayer community then waiting but still I wanted to hear from the Lord myself. There was so much confusion about this decision whether to wait or go right away(pride again)

You see  the Lord had called me to this prayer community about 2 weeks prior giving me the scripture
“Do not be afraid,” Jesus said to Simon, “from now on you will catch men.” And when they had brought their boats ashore, they left everything and followed him.

However I had fought with this call because I didn’t know the Lord was leading me and finally when I come to accept it I wanted more time for him to tell me when to leave…..(hence now I see in the scripture above the they left immediately to follow Jesus so I should’ve known) My spiritual mother felt that I was suppose to come right away but I was still struggling with surrendering to this call and I remember getting a rhema from the Lord that said  “Obedience is like a knight clothed in a full suit of stout armor, with his sword on a strong and spirited horse. Riding into battle, he surely has the advantage over his foes. Whereas, Disobedience is like a knight with no helmet, no armor and no sword, seated on a sorry nag of a horse. He will surely be unseated, dislodged and taken captive.””. So here I found myself two weeks in torment thinking that the Holy Spirit wanted me to be obedient to every tedious decision I did daily in the house and not go outside, not eat while offering it all to the Lord as I am waiting. Which of course was not him but I had become that friar who sulkily obeyed by saying yes but dragging in obedience to Gods call to leave which allowed the enemy to slip in..wow. But the Lord showed his great mercy towards me and heard the cry of my heart two days. When I woke up again 2 days after having the breakthrough but still so oppressed and heavy. I woke up with the song playing in my head then I felt liquid being poured on my head again.  I thought to myself hmmm Holy Spirit what was that about as I got up from the bed I walked to my computer to began work and I found my anointing oil which had been lost for months lying right by my chair (not coincidence). So I thought of the song and I anointed my hands and head just then my spiritual mother called again as she had sought the Lord on my behalf in he midst of all my confusion. As we both sought holy spirit finding out that my discernment was way off and of course it was not Holy Spirit, she then asked the Lord if I am meant to leave everything and come right now. Holy Spirit gave her scriptures on “joy” and “success”. I was in shock but so grateful for this break through at that moment. I felt a peace I couldn’t explain and my whole body was so warm with his presence. I got on my knees in tears thinking the Lord for his great mercy towards me for clarity and deliverance at that very moment the oppression lifted immediately! I literally ran outside lol and me and the “real Jesus” took a walk. As I have taken this walking routine so many times I noticed things I hadn’t before I believe the Lord wanted me to see. The first was  rose bush blooming so beautiful and I felt the Lord telling me that I will bloom beautifully and then I saw a bush I pass everyday when I would walk with the kids but as I looked closely it had fruit on there! It was an apricot tree and I felt he was confirming that as I leave I would bare fruit. So the Lord has set me free from what kept me bound, the love of the world, the love of my family, my own wisdom and my need to know when I don’t understand.  I see how now the importance of immediate obedience is may he give me the grace to “get up, leave everything and follow him if he ask me again. So no longer in the waiting…this is a new season and chapter in my life as I dive into the unknown with Jesus and in freedom to be all that he has called me to be!….So please be obedient immediately to whatever the Lord is asking or calling you too you wont regret it!

Praise to God for His Salvation and Providence!

Praise is awaiting You, O God, in Zion; 
Psalm 65
And to You the [a]vow shall be performed.
2 O You who hear prayer,
To You all flesh will come.
3 Iniquities prevail against me;
As for our transgressions,
You will provide atonement for them.

4 Blessed is the man You choose,
And cause to approach You,
That he may dwell in Your courts.
We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,
Of Your holy temple.

5 By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us,
O God of our salvation,
You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth,
And of the far-off seas;
6 Who established the mountains by His strength,
Being clothed with power;
7 You who still the noise of the seas,
The noise of their waves,
And the tumult of the peoples.
8 They also who dwell in the farthest parts are afraid of Your signs;
You make the outgoings of the morning and evening [b]rejoice.

9 You [c]visit the earth and water it,
You greatly enrich it;
The river of God is full of water;
You provide their grain,
For so You have prepared it.
10 You water its ridges abundantly,
You settle its furrows;
You make it soft with showers,
You bless its growth.

11 You crown the year with Your goodness,
And Your paths drip with abundance.
12 They drop on the pastures of the wilderness,
And the little hills rejoice on every side.
13 The pastures are clothed with flocks;
The valleys also are covered with grain;
They shout for joy, they also sing.

-From Jesus with love

The Lesson I Learned From My 4yr Old Neices Tantrum

Related image

It was just last week that my niece threw one of her worst tantrum’s I have yet to see, “NO'”..”no”…”no” to everything. To say the least it was a very long and rough day. Any parent who has a toddler or a young child has experienced this one way or another. I am not a parent yet but, indeed the Lord is training me with these little ones as I watch them all week and do my best to teach them about Jesus in the midst of it all.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

So the day was going  fine until I began to give her instruction like picking up after herself, sharing with her sister, and not screaming around.  One little tantrum, turned too two, then three. I found her screaming at the top of her lungs in tears crying because she didn’t want to do what I asked. I really don’t like to spank unless I have too and I found myself withdrawing more and more to anger. I was really didn’t want to spank her but after the third time of her screaming at the top of her lungs “nooo” when I asked to pick up the toys. I spanked her then she just began to scream even more at this point I had to put her in the room for time out as she began to roll around the floor kicking and screaming.
As I was getting her 2 year old sister together to eat again she came crying out of the room and at that point I told her to go back because of her bad behavior. Then she threw herself on the floor again, screaming and crying and crying and screaming. As she got up she went to go and get the diaper bag from the couch and poured all the items out throwing things everywhere. At this point I had ENOUGH and went to give her 2 more spankings in the room as I told her “I loved her but had to spank her because she was misbehaving and had  she had too stay in the room.” As soon as I closed the door she began to scream again, this time I heard things being thrown against the door and the mirror I was in shock. Like perfect timing my mom walked in to take her and her sister home before I could yell or spank her again. I was flabbergasted to say the least and told my mom what she had done and was doing. My mom was so tired and told them just to get their shoes and come. So she came out of the room crying and left with my mom. Which left me fuming inside as I told my other sister what she had done, and how bad she had been. I had so much anger still in my heart towards what had just took place. So in the evening during my communion or I call it the “Lords Supper” I began to feel awful for my attitude towards her in my heart and asked the Lord to forgive me for not being more gentle. Also for holding so much anger towards a little 4 year old lol but, I knew he would grant me his mercy and patience to do it better the next day. You would think that however, I found myself that morning when she came to give me a hug there was a little something lingering in my heart towards her now. It was, could I believe “resentment”. I was holding onto what had happened the day before against her in my heart. I couldn’t believe it and tried to shake it off just as I was feeding them breakfast she spoke up and taught  the biggest lesson on childlike forgiveness.   I found myself being slightly cold towards her than usual then she said “Nasane” I want to say sorry for my attitude yesterday I was just having a bad day”. I was in shock, and felt so humbled as I asked who told you to say that? She then said “I spoke to my mom about it”.” At that point I felt so embarrassed as a grown up, as a suppose “woman of God” that the Lord used this little 4 year old lovely little girl to teach me on childlike forgiveness and letting go. That Christ like forgiveness that doesn’t hold on to the past nor to any memory to harbor resentment.

I then had my sister text me later that day to ask if  Naomi apologized and I mentioned to her she had. My sister went on to say that in the morning she woke up and they talked about. She sent me a text saying “told her to apologize and let you  know that she was having a bad day that’s it lol it but She said” she knows God was watching so she asked for His forgiveness in her room” All I could do was laugh and be humbled at the same time as we both had gone before the Lord repenting of our lack of charity before one another but she was more humble to come and confess her wrong as I held on too resentment of what she had done. Well, the Lord truly has lessons set up for me everyday and the greatest lesson I am learning and continue to learn is through this little precious girls whom I get to love and many many times thinking I am pouring into but they are truly pouring into me as well.  Thank you Jesus
-From Jesus With Love

LOVE IN ACTION
Romans 12:9-10
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

-From Jesus With Love