God’s Desire For The Month Of September: Recognize the Fruitless Reckonings of the World and Shut Them Out

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At the Home of Martha and Mary

 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a]Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So I was unaware that I had been “Martha, a runaway bride these past  2 months., running after things of the world and neglecting my sweet bridegroom Jesus. If I can be honest it has been somewhat dry in prayer for the past few weeks The Lord began to teach us how to hear his voice, have conversations with him and grow in discernment. So for the month of  May and June I began to press in to really grow in that gift hearing from the Lord. It was rough many times since we have very really enemies that hate you to be intimate with Jesus. The demons will try all sorts of things, distractions, demonic thoughts, suggestion ad best of all sent lying spirit to speak and if you don’t discern you may write down what the Lord didn’t say. So to say the least, I would get so anxious at times attempting to write in my journal what the Lord said. However in his grace and mercy he began to teach me to come before him like a little child and just write what was on my heart. As I began to do that I was not only hearing from Jesus but having conversations with him but I began to get laxed as time when back and even walking in unbelief many times regarding what I would hear. So as time went on I stopped seeking conversations with him and I was just comfortable with a word or rhema.

I began to realize that my desire for prayer began to dampen subtly and I got more excited about “doing work” for Jesus. I got more excited in writing the blogs, doing the youtube channel, working on outreach and “doing ministry” forgetting the most important ministry as a bride of Christ is to tend to my bridegroom Jesus. How we easily forget that. Even in an earthly marriage we often hear the saying ” Your first ministry is your family”. Well I am hear to tell you ladies and gentleman too 🙂 the first ministry all of us brides have is to tend to our “Husband, bridegroom Jesus”. So I became a Martha, I found myself coming into his presence for direction on what to DO next but not just to spend time with him sadly. I would began getting frustrated when not hearing anything and would still use the rhemas to be directed by Holy Spirit. Thinking he was maybe being silent as a cross for me to bare for just the moment. Not realizing how far away I was from his heart. I mean don’t get me wrong I would still have extensive times in prayer but would find myself falling asleep or just not being able to connect with the Lord.

I began to be content with not drinking from the purest well, the Lords mouth concerning direction in my life which caused my faith to be shaky at times.

Then today he gave me this prophetic message through heartdweller website  from the message  http://search.stillsmallvoicetriage.org/cache/mes359_en-US.pdf

“Had she been listening to Me and Me alone, none of her time would have been wasted on these things. Rather, she would have been more productive for Me. Not self-centered, but God centered. Do you hear Me, My Bride? Oh, I do so hope you hear Me. Come along now, stop flirting with the world, return to My Pure Embrace, leave your self-seeking and striving behind you. I miss you, I miss the comfort of your arms, and your glance, and your embrace.

“I miss you.

 That’s why I’ve called and called and called you back to Me. I wanted to save you from the error of your ways, of men’s ways and hold you close to My heart, where all is peaceful and edifying. But no, you have sought the noisy byways and high ways of the worldly. So, now is the time to turn from your own wisdom, your own strength, your own striving, your own thinking, and embrace Me. As you listen to My Heartbeat, all that you need to know about Me and My world will be disclosed to you with each beat of My Hear” -Jesus

So I ask you have you been a Martha? Have you been so caught up with “doing ministry” doing “things” for Jesus rather than BEING WITH HIM? Have you measured the success of your closeness with Jesus by the success of the work you do, your prayers answered or even the anointing you have? None of those things matter besides being with  and there for our sweet bridegroom and getting clear direction from the one who knows it all. I believe this message is to encourage all that next month the Lord wants us to detach from so many distractions, worldly pursuits and work just to spend time in his arms. He need us, He need YOU and  He needs  me excited to get back into his resting arms

-From Jesus with love

 

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Daddy Where Are You?….When God Hides Himself: Blind Faith

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Isaiah 45:15
Truly, You are a God who hides Himself, O God of Israel, Savior!

When I would read in scripture about God hiding himself it almost always equated to sin. However, I believe many of us have gone through season where the Lord seems so far from us, distant if you will and then were always told no God is not far its just that we are far from him. This scripture really explains that indeed the Lord can and will hide himself from us from time to time as I am learning in this season of my life. He hides himself to test us, to grow us in trust and in blind faith in him.

I find myself  in a season where I feel the Lord is calling me into an even deeper trust and truly blind faith in following him. As I am seeking God to discern his directions in certain decision in my life I am just not getting a clear answer, in fact nothing seems really clear. It feels really muddy as I am drudging along past lack of feeling, irritiabilites, fears and the unknown as i feel the Lord keeping saying ” will you trust me, will you trust me”. This has really been a test of faith for me as I look around with no fruit to show or motivate me to continue to labor on. The Lord reminds me will you labor in love of me only”. As I began to pray and ask him if he would give me the grace to love him more because honestly I find myself loving myself  little bit more rather than wanting to endure.

I am beginning to realize that the seasons in our life are not like the season on earth or definitely not as short lol. Sometimes I tend to equate a change of the earthly seasons or even the year as a change in a season of my life. eeeh wrong (sigh)  Candidly, as I struggle to stay encouraged and motivated as things still seem the same. Waiting for prayers to be answered in my family and my own personal life as I am still staying at my moms house, leading a church  small group,  managing a youtube channel, and work. I pictured myself as a little girl out in a huge field searching, looking for her Daddy ( Abba). As I frantically am calling out to him Lord where are you? Daddy where are you? I could just see him standing off which seemed like a distance but ever so near behind me but I didn’t realize it. That when the Holy Spirit began to impress upon my heart that ” When you seek me and I don’t answer you it is mostly likely a test, I sit and wait to see what you will do”

Psalm 26:2
Test me, O LORD, and try me; examine my heart and mind.

 

So I am beginning to understand as we  grow in maturity with the Lord he indeed has to hide himself from time to time to test us. To test our motives and to see if all that he has taught us is ingrained in our hearts and character. That without hearing him, without experiencing him, with out the “feeling” will we do his will? will we follow the ways of his heart? will we trust him? will we follow him in blind faith and do it anyway? Sad to say I have failed one too many times in these test but, I thank the Lord for his mercy and his ever so loving kindness that draws me back to pick me up again. Just to do it all over again….in hopes the next time I will pass the test!

-From Jesus with love