Is Jesus Truly Enough……Is He Really?

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We hear this “Christianize” phrase often if that’s what you want to call it but, its a pretty solid question. Most believers say it, we declare it in songs…”Jesus your all we need”, “Less of me more of you”, “Christ is enough for me”. Now lets be honest how many of us actually believe that and live by that? Well that’s exactly what the Lord has been teaching me this week or should I say challenging me with that question. Asking ” Nana am I truly enough for you”? Hmmm I  love this picture honestly I imagine that’s how I look like with Jesus about half the time, Lord help me lol.

I’m so gratefully that He is so patience, tender and gentle with me even when I pout when his will doesn’t match up with my desires. You see this past week I found myself falling into anxiousness again bewildered about what the Lord was and is doing in my life.  He finally spoke to me about a job He wanted me to apply for. Finally, I thought after 6 months of unemployment with it ending today I just knew that I would apply and would get a quick response, interview and of course the job. But, no I haven’t heard anything back from them, hence the anxious thoughts began then follows the doubt. I found myself looking at my situation and being discouraged this morning. I started thinking about my lack of provision, what I was going to do, with No job, no car and if I can be honest no husband lol. Yes, I started thinking about all of it like Lord when, Lord when. I realized I had based my joy and all my emotions based on my circumstances and what I didn’t or did have rather than Jesus. How often as believers do we do that, yet we say Jesus your are enough.

 If you find completion, contentment or joy in anythings else than Jesus, He then is in fact not enough

I had the most amazing experience a few days prior where i felt power and electricity shoot through my whole body. The feeling was so amazing it took my breath away literally, then immediately after breathing in I felt like a gush of warmth, felt like Gods love and goodness wash over me. It was enough to make me melt lol Seriously, I felt as if Jesus had held his breath and blew on me, it was soooo wonderful and in that very moment. I knew why David said this one thing I inquire of and seek is to dwell in the presence of the Lord for all the days of my life. For David, Jesus became enough! He had all of Israel , all the riches  and as many concubines he could have but for King David that wasn’t enough all he wanted was Gods presence. In that very moment I realized that’s all I wanted, that’s all we were created to desire is Gods presence. I found myself in my prayer closet thinking If I had a husband in my bed, children running around, a nice vehicle outside, my dream job and amazing ministry that would honestly be NOTHING compared to Gods presence. Most importantly it would mean NOTHING without Jesus. At that very moment I didn’t care for anything else in the world but my sweet Jesus and to be in his presence for all the days of my life. I just wanted more of him and to know him more that’s it.

John 17:13
I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.

However, night I went to bed anxious, I felt the anxiety on my back and neck. I even had a horrible restless night. I woke up feeling discouraged, tired and weary and during my alone time this morning I felt Jesus speaking to me tenderly “Nana I am here” ,”Nana I am right here” I could feel his presence so strongly.  Reminding me again, am I enough for you Nana because I am right here with you. Concentrate on my sweet presence with you in every moment and let everything else go” I began to realize how easy it is to forget Jesus’s presence, to forget that he is literally with us, living with us, walking with us doing life with us. How it hurts him when we confess that he is enough yet we walk discouragement or even discontentment when we don’t get what we want and at the time we want it. When we want more things, more love, more validation, more , more. When we have the living God walking with us abounding in his love and grace to us all yet He is not enough. So is Jesus truly enough, Are we willing to abandon ourselves to his will, whatever that may look like? I had to ask myself If that job never came, or vehicle, or family would he be enough…..and He would. We have been studying John in our bible study group and reading this passage touched my heart. A beautiful prayer Jesus prayed for all believers when he was here still in the world. He  asked the father that we may have the full measure of HIS joy within us. Isn’t that amazing and that its available to us all. So that was my prayer this morning and for you if you can relate to this blog:

Jesus forgive me for putting selfish desires, selfish ambitions and things before you. Forgive me for finding contentment based on my circumstances rather than what was done for me by your sacrifice on the cross. I pray Lord that I would abandon myself to your perfect will, that I would become nothing and you would become everything in me and through me. Humble me Lord, I  pray that I would lay die my life and worldly passions. Deliver me from the opinions of others . I pray that I would have the full measure of your Joy Jesus within me and I would find contentment and joy in you alone. May the one thing I seek and inquire of is to dwell in your presence for all the days of my life. May you be enough for Jesus name. Amen!

 

 

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Trials That Lead Us To Trust

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These past few weeks had been some rough trials mostly just in my heart. For a moment I found myself taking my eyes off of Jesus yet again and looking at the waves and storms. Which caused me to anguish, fear and then just doubt in all that God had spoken to me. Before me I saw many deadlines, but I am reminded before Him , He sees a timeline where his purpose supersedes my deadlines and becomes a testimony!

I fund myself having my unemployment end in 2 weeks, my mission trip funding having to be paid in full at the end of this month, and my lease being up next month. I began to seek God about direction and what he wanted me to do. After many days of no clear answer I began to get anxious again as I began to entertain other peoples opinions as to what they think I should do because I took my eyes off of Jesus and all that he promised me. However, finally the Lord spoke to me about a job he wants me to apply for and I did Monday but now just waiting again lol  You know just this morning I was thanking the Lord that he answered a prayer of mine. I remember the day I was released from my job I spent about 3 hours of the most sweetest time with him. I said in my heart “That I wish I waste working so I could spend all day with Jesus” and he gave me exactly what I asked for lol However, now with only 2 weeks left of income I am savoring each day  thanking him for giving me such an amazing opportunity to get to know him more. That’s what He spoke to me “the reason he had me lose my job so I could know him more”

Then furthermore to my mission trip I am now at 66% percent  with funding 100 percent from donors since I am not working right now. I am just amazed at Gods faithfulness thus far that I had no plan or no intention of going because once again I was looking at my circumstances that the God of the impossible that I serve. I found out about the trip the day of the deadline for submission with no funds to put the deposit however, he had a friend of mine call me and pay it all. He truly is faithful so I believe it is his will he will provide. One think I told him is that He has to come through because if not it will make him look bad lol So I am now sitting back and expecting to be in awe of Him!

Psalm 25: 3
No one who trust in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.

Lastly with my lease being up for renewal not sure whether he wants me to stay here or not just waiting on Him to get clarity on that. In the meantime I realize how everyone one of these trials and the many in between have drawn me closer to Jesus. He did mention the word for this year would be ‘child-like Trust” oh how that has been so true. He has been reminding me a child who is buckled in their booster seat in their parents car doesn’t question where their going, how long it takes to get there, doesn’t even really prepare for the trip because the parents have that all covered. They just sit back and enjoy the ride as the parents take care of ever direction maneuver, detour, filling up gas, travel expenses, clothing and food for this trip. So that’s what Jesus does when we to surrender our wills to him completely as little children trusting our Heavenly Father will and has already taken car of every need in this adventure called Life as we just have to sit back and enjoy the ride with its road bumps, curves, detours and all. Trials will always lead to trust if you allow God to have his way and believe in his promises despite what you see or experience. As I know anxiously wait with great expectation for His timeline to supersede my deadlines and turn into an amazing testimony!

“With great suffering comes great intimacy. Closeness, Tenderness and Understanding”- Jesus

-From Jesus with Love ❤

 

 

 

 

Will You Say Yes?

 

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Yesterday I got to witness first hand how real the spiritual battle for a territory, for a soul and for a life. As a young man whom I got the opportunity to lead into a prayer of salvation immediately after was pursued by an armed robber and shot right before my eyes…….will you say “yes” to what God is calling you to, where He is calling you and yes despite the opposition, your fears and uncomfortably?

Isaiah 6:8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

I had got a vision a month prior where I was sharing the gospel accross the street with a crowd of young man but I thought that was going to be far off in the near future….I should know by now when Jesus shows me something He desires for me to be obdeint and act on that lol  So two weeks ago I found myself with no car, virus on my computer and still no job having absoultely nothing to do wondering what is going on Lord. Then Jesus spoke to me about my desire for missions and that he needed me to be obedient that accross the street was my mission feild and I do have a job working for Him and beiing about his business. Sharing the Gospel and his love to everyone in that area.. The neighborhood I live in is fairly nice however, I live next to a convenint store an noticed alot of males would linger there and at the carwash.  I noticed from time to time I would get approached if I wanted to buy weed and knew the presence of God was needed there.

However on Wednesday I was feeling discouraged because since evangelizing no one had given their lives to Jesus, but many received prayer. Furthermore, there had been of a lot of unusual opposition. One of owners of the car wash told me to leave his property and stop talking to everyone, another mother cussed her children out for praying with me saying they knew Jesus already, another couple in a car was fist fighting whiles driving passed, like I said unusual but I realize now it was high level warfare. So toward the end of the day I stand at the front of the convenient store asking anyone for prayer. When a young man came up to me and asked if I had a rubber band for a wand of money he had I told him I had something better, Jesus. He looked completely broken with a lot on his mind. He began to state his whole life story of how he had ran after money, drug dealing and had it all and was completely empty. That he was tired,  and he was on the run from a lifestyle he wanted to leave behind. He said he never had a father and his mother always chased after man so never knew love, He is now at a point where he is not afraid to die and he knew that was a bad place.  He proceeded stat he didn’t know How God could love him or forgive him if his own parents left him and he couldn’t forgive himself . I shared Gods love, the Gospel and he broke down in tears giving his life to the Lord right then and there.  He said he felt so relieved and had never cried before like that and wanted to stay in contact, that today he would throw the drugs and his guns away. We exchange info as I told him about connecting him with other believers . So I left headed for my apt but I turned around one last time to wave and say goodbye when a young man came up to him seeing a slight scuffle as the man asked for money… then heard a gunshot. I was dumbfounded the young man who just gave his life to the Lord got shot. the shooter ran off but my new found friend was shot in the leg as I ran to help him.

Soon The ambulance came and so did the cops….They caught the shooter and the young man was rushed to the hospital. Two things could’ve have happen after witnessing this. I could’ve coward in fear thinking its to dangerous to evangelize or too traumatized to continue to reach out to others across the street but Gods grace it way to sufficient for me! lol I knew the enemy was so mad and I may not being seeing the results but God indeed is doing something over there.  I believe that prayer protected that young man from death and what the enemy intended. So at that very moment I knew why God had said that was my mission field, why it was necessary for me to be there, to preserve and not cower in fear and why most importantly why this young man had to give his life to the Lord…the enemy was waiting, but God had and always is ahead of him…. I travailed in tears and in prayer last night for not only this area but for the young man of our generation who the enemy is sifting like wheat left and right. Praying asking the Lord to send more labors to get more “Christians” “ministers” “pastors” out of the church buildings and pulpits into the neighborhood and go OUT into the community to grab our brothers snatch them from the destruction they are headed too. I could’ve done two things after witnessing this cower in fear and ….Jesus answered my prayer.. last night as I went out again today meeting a pastor and a son who were in the process negotiating for space to begin a church!! So I ask you, if you are a christian…will you say YES thats all the Lord is looking for someone who will say YES and Go to your next door neighbor,  across the street, to your job, at the grocery store? As a believer you are a missionary a pilgrim here on this earth passing through called to make Jesus known wherever you go. WILL YOU SAY YES?!

Matthew 11:12
And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.