Yes that’s a cricket next to him on that seat lol. Oh how accurate is this image. Indeed this is a lesson the Lord has definitely taught me this year and last year. To obey him when no one even show up, to be diligent and faithful despite the crickets. Testing my heart for my motives, and not being moved by the numbers…..well because in fact many a times there were no numbers lol. It became so bad that a good friend of mine changed her ring tone to a “crickets chirp” to poke fun of the interesting season Jesus had me in lol. Its definitely funny now and how I am so grateful for the lesson he taught me in that but, it was painful them. Many times feeling rejected, not valued, even not worthy and of course how the enemy of my soul would whisper suggestions of giving up, doubt, insecurities and even fears to stop me from pursuing what God told me to do. How easy is it for us to trust, followers, likes, people opinions or filled seats with our worth….Jesus didn’t so neither should we.
But Jesus did not trust them because He knew all men. He did not need anyone to tell Him about man. He knew what was in man.
You see earlier last year the Lord told me to began a fellowship at my apartment and I invited quite a few people but got only about two responses. So as the time got closer I decided to cancel it to my surprise many text stating they were planning and immediately the Holy spirit said “when two or three are gathered in my name I am in the midst”. I felt so convicted I had canceled because the majority wasn’t coming but discounted the two that where and forgetting they were just enough for Jesus that’s all he needs! (hand slap to the forehead), I asked the Lord to forgive me and told him if no one showed up would still do it because if all else fails him and all the heavenly host will be there. So attempted again the following week. This time all I got was “crickets” no one showed up. To be honest I was devastated it was such a vulnerable season in my life and I was feeling so insecure. I remember continuing with the fellowship just me and Jesus, my heart was heavy in worship the Lord spoke again and said ” I want to know if you will be faithful are you doing this for me or for them?” I broke down crying telling the Lord its all about him and continued with the fellowship weekly
Lesson Learned Faithfulness
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
Then the Lord spoke to me again telling me to do a youtube channel to teach all that he is teaching me . I fought with this idea first thinking “who me” but what do I have to teach, I mean who am I Jesus…..of course that’s the best position to be in because in our weakness his strengths pour through us! So I began the youtube channel this year thinking , who is really going to watch this. I would post on fb tag family and friends in hopes they would share or support all I got was “crickets”. Of course there were times where I would get only a few views and I found myself fighting the feeling of discouragement but told myself this is Gods channel not mine so I have to be obedient and continued. As subscribers started to come I found myself continuing to focus on the numbers and comparing myself with other channels. Which can be so dangerous because you lose sight of Jesus and began to look at others. So about 4 months ago my youtube account became disabled I immediately thought it was he enemy attacking the channel but during prayer the Lord said it was him because of my pride. I was like ouch! Wow, so humbly asked for forgiveness and the channel is still disabled however the interesting thing is its grown to over 100 subscribers in these few months and now have over 650 with no new videos. The Lord reminded me that’s its all his work on not mine, “Its not about you Nana” can I say humbling.
Lessoned Learned Humility & Obedience
Then the Lord spoke to me again to began a praying meeting at my job. I was so excited me and some friends go together blessed the room and began to advertise by sending out emails and word of mouth. Initially one or two would come then some weeks when no one would show up “crickets”. There were weeks where I didn’t want to go or I would show up late thinking no one is going to come anyway. Once again I fighting the feeling of discouragement and the Lord reminded me to be faithful and of course He and the heavenly host were there lol. So I would go in the room and pray by myself soon it started it growing and a consistent number of ppl would come and upon leaving the job its still going! Wow, again I was reminded its Not about me lol and of course the-
Lessoned Learned Is Perseverance
Then finally the Lord spoke to me to began writing these blogs. Honestly I used to hate writing so looking back on these blogs and seeing Gods fingerprints all on this amazes me. However, I remember me and my friend started blogging at the same time. We both knew God spoke to us about it but no one was reading these blogs lol. I would have one viewer maybe 1 follower in 3 months. We would laugh and look at each other and say “crickets” lol but the Lord kept reminded us just write be obedient to write a blog a week. She said her son told her “write they will come” I love that because that’s what faith is. Hoping for what you don’t see putting our faith in Gods word spoken to us and not to give up. So we have continued to write and I am amazed at what God has done!
Lessoned Learned Is Diligence
Most recently the Lord spoke to me to began a bible study over the phone after losing my job. Of course began to have the same rebuttals, wait, whaaa, Lord me, Jesus is this you or just my mind lol but he confirmed. For about a week had to fight off insecurities again because this is opening myself to people I don’t know and plus who would call in LOL There I go again limiting God. So I began the hourly conference line and behold would have 7 to9 callers each day from different part of the country calling in desiring to know God. I was flabbergasted , there was a day when I was 15 minutes into the call and no one called in. I was tempted to just hang up but the Holy Spirit reminded me again of all the times Gods faithfulness even when no one showed up lol. So I told myself you made a commitment with God to do for an hour so will leave it on for an hour, can I tell you that day was the day of the most callers and even a new caller! lol There are times where only one caller has called and the Lord has reminded me that he can care less of the numbers its jus to touch one. So me, that person and Jesus with all the heavenly host have bible study! lol
Lessoned Learned is Trust & Gods Strength
Matthew 18:12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?
Now he has spoken to my heart to turn the personal fellowship and extend it by leading a coed a small group for the young adults ministry in our church and the Nana of old would be so insecure, frightened, doubtful and concerned with people not showing up. However, because of these past lessons I now know:
- To be obedient
- Trust God more
- Its not about me, its all by his strength
- To do everything I do unto the Lord
- To continue to be faithful
- Its not about the numbers, one person is so invaluable
- Its not about what people say about it
- It is indeed Gods work that he does through me
How many times do we allow followers, likes, peoples opinions to be the measure of the worth, validation our work or even Gods call upon our lives? Trust God and be obedient to all that he ask you to do because its all about that ONE person, one blog post, one video, one bible study meeting, one prayer meeting that God will use to touch many!
-From Jesus with Love