I know a lot of times we hear when God is calling you higher that means your going deeper which is true, but a lot of times it never looks they way you envision it. You think a deeper dive in the ocean but he actually means he is calling you higher. Higher level of faith, trust, hope in him. Not only does he call you out of the boat to walk on the water but he calls you then to go deeper which requires a deeper level of trust and faith by walking on the waves with him.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
My walk has been nothing short of interesting to say the least, just a few weeks ago I wrote a blog about contending with contentment at my job. The job that I was finding difficult to wake up every morning to go to0, the job that I was complaining about, the job that the Lord was teaching me to be excellence, content, and faithful at……..well that job let me go last Tuesday. You would think I would be excited or relieved but it was such a shock, very unexpected. I think sometimes the Lord is thinking this girl doesn’t know what she wants, isn’t he so gracious lol! I woke up that morning excited in the wee hours of 4 am to spend time with the Lord and wonderful time it was in his presence, worship and reading the word before work. I was so full of joy that morning, now I had heard rumors of our positions being changed but not losing our jobs however, I went in that morning finding out we had a surprise meeting and they told us we were let go and to go home. I wasn’t sure what to think, if I can be honest inside I was keeping cool but on the inside I think my soul was jumping lol All these thoughts of doubt, fear, anxiety hit me..one of the lies of the enemy was telling me “see you woke up spend all that time with the Lord and he didn’t forwarn you, you don’t really hear from Jesus” that was the hardest lie I was trying to cast down.
OUT OF THE BOAT
You see, the Lord called me to lay down my life for him almost 3 years ago. I had intended on pursuing my own business I had at the time, my clothing and jewelry line and move to NY until I had a radical encounter with my beloved Jesus and it changed everything. So when he asked me almost 3 years ago to live for him I said “of course, I will tell everyone about you and what you have done for me, my life is yours no turning back! I surrender all to you Jesus”. So when the Lord lead me to my job I thought I wouldn’t be there for long or so I thought a few months turned into a year, then the one year turned to two and I was anxious along the way but the Lord kept telling me to wait, Nana wait….
Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.
ON THE WATER
So in the midst of waiting he began to change my perspective and stir my heart for him in such a way to have my life be a witness for others. That wasn’t my intention at the job but he began to show me that I was there by assignment in the midst of me waiting. So I started to notice the Lord giving me opportunities to share him with my coworkers, to pray and encourage and he even opened the door to began a prayer meeting at the job! Which I looked forward too and enjoyed, he began to give me words of knowledge and dreams about my coworkers to draw them closer to him! Indeed he was stirring my passion to be bold and courageous for him however, he began speaking to my heart to totally surrender and abandon myself to his will. I would get this word over and over again to the point it became frustrating because I thought I had totally surrendered, I wasn’t sure what else I needed too. I kept telling the Lord all is yours, I live a hedged life because you ask that of me, I am at this job surrendered to waiting on you because you said too what else Lord. Thinking to myself I am like peter Lord, you called me to walk on the water jump out of the boat called “Nanas idea of her life” to follow you and I did just that not sure what else I can give…oh but was I mistaken. He wanted TOTAL SURRENDER & ABONDMENT which means whatever may come, whatever you allow Jesus I am yours. I remember when I started hat job and being around other Christians friends who were called and knew their calling I was so insecure at that time and doubtful because I didn’t know mine so I went on lunch break crying out to the Lord to show me my calling please just show me and he said:
“I cant show you I have to lead you”
WALKING ON THE WAVES
So now he has lead me out the boat, on the water now even higher to walking on the wave. Losing my job caused my eyes to be fixed on the storm rather than on Jesus gaze and his hands that have been right in front of me. I knew the next step from this job would be walking into my purpose and that’s why I was so anxious to leave because I thought I was ready. But we know God is very funny and he will always give you what you ask for just not the way you want it lol That’s exactly what he has done, he has called me higher and deeper in him, not to stop walking on the water called faith, not to go back to the boat called comfortability by getting another job, no he has called me to continue to grab his hand, gaze in his eyes and trust him as he guides me step by step to walk above the storm and to walk on the waves. I have learned that that I am actually always on assignment whenever, with whoever and wherever I am at. I am a pilgrim on an journey here on this earth and that to surrender is not just a one time choice but a daily choice to say today I die that you live Jesus may I do your will and not my own. So I have been asked the question so many times what are going to do, what’s next, what are you waiting for? All I can say is that I am being led by the one who loves me the most, who created me and knows my purpose and is threading this beautiful tapestry of grace called my life and only he knows the finished work. As he is building my trust in him in a deeper way, growing a greater level of faith in me and sanctifying me for his use. Of course he has me waiting again for the next direction. As I sit at his feet I find myself wondering what he is up too slightly anxious if I can be honest but excited about this crazy adventure that I get to do with my forever life partner, leader and guide Jesus!